DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Jack's House
HTML https://jackshouse.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Biographies
*****************************************************
#Post#: 6327--------------------------------------------------
Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Jack Date: June 10, 2018, 4:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
First of all, for the record, Gordy is just a few months younger
than Bryce, and he'll be 19 at the end of this month - the 27th,
I believe.
For those of you who don't recognize the names, the Sinor family
have actually been around since before the blog started, but
they haven't been as close in recent years.
Tina and I went to school together from the time I started at
Linda Dunn Elementary in fourth grade - at least most of that
time. I remember her in fourth and fifth grade, but then we
lost contact until we started high school. Still, she's an old
friend, and when she moved down here after divorcing Gordy and
Dex's father, and was having trouble finding a decent job, I
ended up hiring her. She eventually ended up running what was a
copy center (now a business center as well as handling a lot of
printing) and handling most of my real estate.
Gordy graduated last year. He and his mom were fighting,
because he just had no interest in going to college, and she was
really pushing him about it. Knowing that I'd supported Tommy in
getting a vocational education, he came to me. We spent some
time figuring it out, and he's done some gopher work for some of
my friends in the last year or so - working with Curtis Malone
in HVAC (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning) for a
while, then working with Ryan Hunter's construction company.
The other day, Bryce came to me saying Gordy had called and
wanted to know if he could come over Saturday (last night) to
talk for a while. Since he's been working and hasn't been able
to visit the kids much, they turned it into a visit. We made
fajitas, so they could have fajita nachos. After Gordy and I had
our talk, they took over the game room for most of the rest of
the night. Besides Gordy, Bryce, and the twins, and a few
regulars, like Riley and Tyler, Tristan, Seth Lane, and Rory
Dugan, they had some guys I haven't seen for a while, like Ant,
Dylan, CJ, Bradley, and even Wheels.
It was a nice visit.
What Gordy was actually wanting to talk about didn't take too
long, and we ended up just visiting for a while. His actual
visit was to discuss his future.
I haven't seen much of Dex in a while now, and it turns out
there are more reasons than I thought. I knew that he and Van
had grown apart over the years. Not that they aren't friends,
but they're those childhood friends who still like each other,
but no longer have much in common. Van has loved his art for
years, and he's deep into music. Dex isn't in to either. Dex
seems to be a fairly typical teenage boy whose deeply interested
in sports and cars.
With Dex going to BHS and Van having spent his entire career at
BCA, the two of them have a lot of different friends. Once Tina
decided he was old enough, Dex quit coming over here after
school most of the time.
I know those things. What I didn't know is that David Sinor -
Tina's ex-husband - had come into the picture.
Dex was pretty spoiled when I first met him. You can read
about... well, not the first time I met him, but one of the
first times we spent much time together here
HTML http://www.bransomtx.com/dressdex.html
It took a while, but Dex and I came to understand each other.
It was rough on him, and not easy on me, but I thought - still
do think, honestly - that we'd come to understand each other and
had a good relationship.
Let me say that I have zero respect for David Sinor. Beyond
what I said about him in the story linked above, I remember
times when he changed his plans on the boys at the last minute,
and he just left them hanging, expected them and Tina (and me
and my family) to just drop everything to accommodate his whim.
Gordy got tired enough of it, that he finally quit even visiting
him. They talk occasionally, but he hasn't been to see his dad
in a couple of years (and it didn't escape his notice that his
dad wasn't at his graduation last year).
It's different with Dex. Dex wasn't old enough to remember what
living with him was like, and he apparently believes some of the
crap his dad was spewing about who's at fault. I don't know if
he doesn't remember me holding him as he cried himself out over
dad cancelling plans at the last minute, or maybe Dad just lied
those away. Whatever it is, Dex is apparently seriously
considering moving in with his dad. While I think that's a
horrible idea, and while Tina and even Gordy think it's a
terrible idea, Dex is 16 now.
I ended up talking to Tina this morning. She's not happy about
it, but she feels like she'll just make things worse if she
fights it. Dex has been having some attitude problems lately,
and she's honestly kind of tired of dealing with him. If she
fights it, it's questionable if his dad would even bother going
to court, but it would still cause hard feelings with Dex, so
she feels like letting him go might be the easiest thing to do.
If Dex goes, she's not sure what she's going to do. Gordy still
lives with them, but he works a ton during construction season.
Her younger sister has a couple of young daughters, so Tina is
thinking seriously of moving to live closer to them, which also
happens to be near some of their other relatives. She says
there's no rush, and she'll give me plenty of notice if she does
decide to do that.
And that brings us back to Gordy.
The main part of our discussion last night covered two areas.
First, he's decided what he wants to do, which is to become an
electrician. He can afford the license and testing fees, but
there are also some classroom components he needs to take, and
he's not sure how much that will cost. On top of that, the
class room part will reduce the amount of hours he can work
(probably - there are online options, but he's honest that he's
not sure he could do that 'without you standing behind me,
threatening to paddle my butt, at least', he said - mostly
jokingly), and now he's found out his mom might be moving, and
he's pretty sure he wants to stay here, since he's now lived
here most of his life. And while Bryce and the twins are away
at school most of the year, he still has a number of friends
here.
I have made it very clear that Gordy and Dex are part of the
family, and I made it clear last year that I would cover Gordy's
education, whether it be vocational or college - I've planned on
it for 10 years now. Him coming here to talk to me about it
wasn't presumptuous, but responsible. I told him that if this
is what he wants to do, get started, and let me know when he
needs me to help. After that, we just rambled for a while -
mostly me listening to his construction stories. You can tell
he's really happy with it, and that's what's really important.
#Post#: 6329--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Zyngaru Date: June 10, 2018, 5:06 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
It is wonderful to see that Gordy has figured out what he enjoys
doing. Electricians make a good living and it isn't all that
difficult of work. Of course him getting through his
apprenticeship (I think they call it Journeyman now) can take
awhile, before he makes the big bucks. Are electricians Union
in Texas? I know they are here. College isn't for everyone.
Besides the world needs good electricians.
As for Tina. I personally think she the right idea about Dex.
At 16, if she forbids him, he will make her life miserable and
blame her for everything that goes wrong in his life from this
point on. As for if living with dad is a bad thing, I'll accept
your word, because you know him. Which means Dex will find out
within a couple months he made a huge mistake. That said I have
a couple suggestions for Tina. First make sure Dex knows he can
come back home, if things don't work out with his dad. I think
Dex is going toned that safety net. That leads to the next
suggestion. That she stay put for the summer to give Dex time
to find out if he really wants to live with dad or not. The
last thing Tina would want to do is let Dex go to dad and then
move away only to find out that Dex wants to come home to a home
that doesn't exist anymore.
I believe that Dex is doing what many kids do. He is imagining
things with the parent he does not live with to be something
special. Jack, you and Tina know it won't be special, but in
Dex's mind he imagines it to be. No getting past that, until he
finds out for himself and then hope he hasn't messed his life up
to bad.
This is just how I feel about the situation with what little
info you shared. If Gordy can't explain what life with dad is
like to Dex, no one else will be able to. But if Dad is as much
of a loser as you say he is, then Dex is going to be hurt bad,
and he is going to be lost as what to do, if Tina moves away and
he has no place to go.
I suspect this is where Jack jumps in and says Dex can always
come to me. But does he know it? And would he want to? Would
he feel too embarrassed to even ask? I don't know Dex. I have
no idea. But from what you say, he is heading to the rim of a
canyon with no brakes and no parachute.
Okay enough of my rambling.
#Post#: 6336--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Jack Date: June 11, 2018, 3:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I have technically met their father a couple of times, but never
for more than a few minutes, and both of those were when we were
in Colorado.
My opinion of him is based on a) how he treated Tina, including
cheating on her; and, b) the lackadaisical approach he took to
visitation with his sons - putting his own (usually carnal)
desires over spending time he'd already promised with them.
Physically, Dex is just an average sized guy, but he knows how
to take care of himself, and what to do if he needs help. What
I'm worried about with him is that he's going up there with
unrealistic expectations. You're right that he could always
come back to his mom (or I'd find room for him if it came down
to that), but I'm afraid he'll get up there and be in a bad
situation, but be too embarrassed to admit it. Dex isn't
stupid, but teens often make bad decisions in the name of having
fun, and I'm afraid his dad will just let him.
At this point, I do agree there's nothing we can really do,
except let him know we're here, and we care, and pray for him.
[hr]
As to electrician's (and most other trades like this, as far as
I know)
Apprentice is the starting position. You put in several years
on the job, while also taking some classes. At the end of that
time, you become a journeyman. Apparently because of licenses
and union fees, most people stay at that point, but if you want
certain higher jobs or to own your own business, you have to
become a master. That means there are actually three
classifications, but there are also apparently specialties
(industrial, commercial, residential, I think construction,...)
#Post#: 6968--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Adric Date: July 6, 2018, 9:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=626.msg6329#msg6329
date=1528668418]
It is wonderful to see that Gordy has figured out what he enjoys
doing. Electricians make a good living and it isn't all that
difficult of work. Of course him getting through his
apprenticeship (I think they call it Journeyman now) can take
awhile, before he makes the big bucks. Are electricians Union
in Texas? I know they are here. College isn't for everyone.
Besides the world needs good electricians.
[/quote]
That was my very first ambition. Electrician, not fireman. It
was mainly because I thought I would like to climb power poles.
Mom always corrected me when I said that - "You mean Electrical
Engineer." I didn't understand that at the time because I
thought engineers worked on trains and I didn't want to work on
a train. Mom was right though - EE would have been much better
suited for me.
Glad to hear Gordy has that figured out - good electricians have
good prospects.
#Post#: 6974--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Jack Date: July 6, 2018, 3:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm informed that what you wanted to be was a lineman (Wichita
or not). What Gordy is working on is what I always thought of
as contruction electrician, but is apparently called an inside
wireman.
Actually, he's going to see Ant-man and the Wasp with us
tonight, and wants a chance to talk to me tonight or tomorrow
morning, so we'll see what's what.
#Post#: 7566--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Leti Date: July 25, 2018, 10:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jack link=topic=626.msg6974#msg6974
date=1530908659]
.Actually, he's going to see Ant-man and the Wasp with us
tonight, and wants a chance to talk to me tonight or tomorrow
morning, so we'll see what's what.
[/quote]
What did Gordie tell you? He knows what he needs to do?
How is Dex? has he gone to live with his father?
Hugs
Leti
#Post#: 7580--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sinors - Tina, Gordy (18), and Dexter (16)
By: Jack Date: July 26, 2018, 5:04 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Leti link=topic=626.msg7566#msg7566
date=1532574600]
What did Gordie tell you? He knows what he needs to do?[/quote]
Can't believe I forgot to update this. I would have sworn I'd
done it.
No, this was just a discussion about some classes he needs to
take as part of his apprenticeship, and getting them scheduled
and paid for.
[quote author=Leti link=topic=626.msg7566#msg7566
date=1532574600]
How is Dex? has he gone to live with his father?[/quote]
Dex has left for his dad's. He was pretty bummed that Van was
still out of town, and Van was down about it as well. The two
haven't been that close for a while now, but they've still been
friends as long as either one of them can remember, so it'll be
a bit hard on them.
Dex has called his mom a couple of times, and she says
everything seems to be fine so far.
*****************************************************