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#Post#: 7581--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Jack Date: July 26, 2018, 5:05 am
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[quote author=Leti link=topic=54.msg7559#msg7559
date=1532570006]
Have you talked about Adult Adoption with him?
[/quote]
He knows I've adopted some of the boys when they were adults,
and he knows I'm in the process of adopting PJ, but he hasn't
brought it up. After yesterday, I think I might need to do it -
or at least make sure I'm not making any assumptions. I'm
thinking Saturday might be a good time for us to have that
discussion.
#Post#: 7776--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Leti Date: August 2, 2018, 11:49 pm
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[quote] I'm thinking Saturday might be a good time for us to
have that discussion.[/quote]
Did you get to talk to Greg about this?
:) Thanks for sharing
Hugs
Leti
#Post#: 7781--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Jack Date: August 3, 2018, 4:06 am
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Yes, I did - thanks for reminding me.
He's very interested, but he's also unsure. I'm not sure why.
Maybe just because it's so permanent of such a major change to
his life?
Anyway, there's no real rush to it, and he knows I'm willing if
he is. His birthday's next Wednesday, so I might give him a card
with a coupon for '1 free adult adoption - usable at any time'.
#Post#: 9260--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Jack Date: October 10, 2018, 5:39 am
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Had to call Greg last night.
I try to talk to the boys who aren't at home on a semi-regular
basis. I also try to be available when they call (most of them
know to call before 5pm or after 8:30. Sometimes even older
boys just need to talk to a parent, and I'm happy to be there
for them. There's not one of the kids I don't like hearing
from.
I try not to call them too often. I know they have their own
lives, and it's hard to tell when they're busy. Maybe the best
thing about modern phones is being able to send someone a text,
which they can then answer when they have a moment, instead of
having to put everything on hold when you call.....
Okay, the best thing about modern phones is being able - not
just to buy your movie tickets before you go, but to reserve the
seats you want, but texting is a strong second.
Anyway, in this case I called Greg because a charge had appeared
on his emergency credit card.
For reference, all of the college boys (and some of the boys who
are out of college) have a credit card for emergencies. They
have a pretty clear idea of what I consider an emergency, and
what will happen if they use the card without permission when
it's not an emergency. While I say it's for 'emergencies' (and
the boys know they're allowed to use it without permission for
car or health problems, it's also a convenient way for me to
give them an advance on their allowance for the occasional major
purchase, but they're supposed to have permission for that.
Anyway, Greg's card had been used over the last billing cycle -
not for an emergency and not only without permission, but
without even letting me know.
He had no explanation.
As far as we could figure out, he'd gotten that confused with
his debit card at some point.
The debit cards are how I do the older boys' allowances. I have
regular transfers set up to be done automatically each week,
like the boys were getting direct deposit. It simplifies things
greatly.
Apparently, Greg has a pretty good idea how much he's spent and
how much he has, so he doesn't check online very often, which
means he didn't notice he had more than he should. While it's
good that he has that awareness, I did tell him that he needs to
get in the habit of checking regularly, to make sure no
unauthorized charges are appearing (which happened to me just
this year, when I had to cancel a service for separate times
before they finally quit billing me).
I do have access to his bank account (I had to get in the safe
to get my 'log in book', but I have it), and it seems he was
telling the truth. While I don't like the way modern banks keep
your payment histories, I was able to confirm he never spent
more money than he had. Actually, because of his work over the
summer, he has kept a pretty comfortable buffer so far. I think
it was just carelessness on his part. While I believe that
there are times when carelessness does require a firm
consequence, in this case, I wrote it off as 'just an accident',
though I did make it clear what he can expect if he has the same
accident again. He laughed.
Greg and I ended up talking for a while last night, after we'd
worked that out. He enjoys Halloween, and we talked for a while
about his plans and about a costume for him.
Greg is still not 'part of the family' as much as most of the
boys are. He was never able to live here as a kid, and there
are some thing that the other boys accept, but which are unusual
for Greg. I'm still getting to kow him better and better, and
I'm catching some things. I say that, because I had to tell him
he's flying home the weekend after next. It wasn't telepathy on
my part though.
I had been talking about Screams and Fright Nights at 6 Flags
and Thrillvania, and what the boys were talking about doing, and
what we'd be doing as a family.
"Man, that sounds great. I wish they had that up here."
"Sorry they don't, but why don't you go with us."
"I wish I could."
"Do you have any tests that week?"
He had to look. He has three tests or projects do between now
and 19 Oct, but only one between 22 Oct and 5 Nov. While that
is subject to change, he already knows about the due dates for
major projects and when they have major tests.
"Good, then get a ticket and come home."
"I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
There was a bit or argument, but he's going to fly in 19 Oct and
be here by dinner time (if the flight and Uber are on time, and
traffic isn't too bad, he should be here about 6:10), and he can
stay until Sunday evening.
I'm actually glad he's coming. He and I need to sit down and
talk about his major and graduation. Like many kids, Greg never
had a firm idea of what he wanted to do. I finally convinced
him that what he's doing now in college sets the basis for the
rest of his life. While he can change streams and get more
education later, it's much easier to do it now, while he has a
chance. Right now, it looks like he's going to be graduating
with a degree related to computers, but he's still focusing in
on exactly what he wants to do. The problem is that, while the
first two years are pretty similar for most majors (especially
most 'BS' majors), he's in his fourth year now. I'm trying to
convince him that it's okay if he takes five or six years to
graduate, as long as he's really trying, and using the classes
he takes to determine what he wants to do. I think he wants to
transfer from software engineer to systems engineer. It's going
to be my job to help him clarify the issues and decide if that's
what he really wants to do, then figure out what he needs to do
to make the change.
Should make for a fun weekend.
#Post#: 9263--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Zyngaru Date: October 10, 2018, 7:43 am
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[quote] I think he wants to transfer from software engineer to
systems engineer. It's going to be my job to help him clarify
the issues and decide if that's what he really wants to do, then
figure out what he needs to do to make the change.
Should make for a fun weekend.[/quote]
It sounds like a technical weekend. ;D
Have fun with that. Trying to get younger people to hone in on
what they want to do with their life, isn't always easy.
Myself, I never did. I'm a wanderer. Well I used to be. Now
that I am old, I am a home body. So I never settled for just
one career. I never stayed at one job more than 15 years. But
I have done everything I ever wanted to do in my life. I worked
until it was no longer any fun, then I moved on to the next
thing. The good thing about today. You can move 401K accounts
around with you. Thus you can work on your retirement no matter
where you are working.
I look forward to the update after you have that conversation.
::)
#Post#: 9272--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: kalico Date: October 10, 2018, 10:13 am
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That’s great that you were able to convince him to come home and
go with y’all to have some fun and down time from college....
Good luck with that talk...
Hugs kal
#Post#: 9279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Jack Date: October 10, 2018, 5:01 pm
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Thanks, Kal. He's coming that weekend, because the boys are
planning to go to Thrillvania on Friday night, and I think
they're going to go to Screams on Saturday evening. I may or
may not go to Thrillvania with them (it was started by a friend
of mine back in the 80s, and it's one of the best Haunted Houses
I've ever attended). Saturday, while there is a bit of wiggle
room, I think we decided that Six Flags is too intense for the
younger kids, so we're trying to decide on a couple of the more
kid-friendly events around town. I'm not sure which group Greg
will go with (maybe go with the older kids to one and as a big
brother to the other?). Either way, I'm sure he's going to have
a good time.
Zygaru, there will be a bit of technical discussion, but it's
mostly going to be family time for him to enjoy himself. I'm
not really going to be trying to talk him into a commitment...
The opposite really. I want him to understand that I would
rather him change and do what he really wants, even if it means
some extra time at school.
#Post#: 9289--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: David M. Katz Date: October 11, 2018, 1:06 am
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It is great he is going to come home.
So, inquiring minds want to know - did Greg reimburse you?
#Post#: 9297--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Jack Date: October 11, 2018, 3:49 am
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[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=54.msg9289#msg9289
date=1539238010]
So, inquiring minds want to know - did Greg reimburse you?
[/quote]
I'm not positive, but I'm guessing David is talking about this -
HTML https://jackshouse.createaforum.com/biographies/greg-garza/msg7553/#msg7553<br
/> where I mention Greg's sky trip this December. If that's the
case, then no, he hasn't reimbursed me yet. He's supposed to
work off the rest of the hours over the upcoming holidays when
he's home.
On the other hand, David could also be talking about a BOTD from
last year -
HTML https://jackshouse.createaforum.com/botd/6-october-2017-an-interesting-topic-a-jack-rl-production/<br
/>- where Greg was having some trouble with traffic tickets. If
that's the case, then yes, Greg did reimburse me for that. If I
remember correctly, he paid most of it back over last Christmas
and Spring Break.
[hr]
Also, if you look back at the earlier post in this thread,
you'll see where Greg was talking about wanting to be a Chemical
Engineer instead of a Chemist, and now he's talking about doing
computer work. I'm actually okay with that. I think one of the
biggest problems our schools have is that they don't do enough
to expose kids to all the different things that are out there.
I have actually pushed BCA to put together a class called
something like Survey of Science, which would talk about all the
different fields of science and what they do, and what the
difference is between a chemist and a chemical engineer, for
instance. What Greg is doing know is something he should have
done when he was younger, and I'm trying to encourage him to
explore and take a moment to decide what he wants to do. While
Zyngaru did have a point about changing jobs, or even careers, a
college education should still give you a good background for
how you want to start - especially if you're interested in a
more specialized field.
#Post#: 9303--------------------------------------------------
Re: Greg Garza
By: Adric Date: October 11, 2018, 9:01 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=54.msg9297#msg9297
date=1539247774]
[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=54.msg9289#msg9289
date=1539238010]
So, inquiring minds want to know - did Greg reimburse you?
[/quote]I'm not positive, but I'm guessing David is talking
about this ...
On the other hand, David could also be talking about a BOTD from
last year ...[/quote]
I'm guessing David was talking about this incident
HTML https://jackshouse.createaforum.com/biographies/greg-garza/?message=9260<br
/>reported yesterday where Greg accidentally pulled the wrong ca
rd
out of his wallet to charge something.
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