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#Post#: 5619--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: David M. Katz Date: May 10, 2018, 4:58 pm
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Did you get a chance to have the relationships discussion?
#Post#: 5626--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Jack Date: May 10, 2018, 5:57 pm
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[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=53.msg5619#msg5619
date=1525989526]
Did you get a chance to have the relationships discussion?
[/quote]
We talked at it, and around it, while we were resetting the
display, but we didn't get much into specifics. For now, I'm
more interested in getting him thinking about what he wants and
what/if he has any goals.
#Post#: 6991--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Leti Date: July 7, 2018, 1:32 am
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How is Garret doing? Is he helping in the imaginarium?
:D
Leti
#Post#: 6996--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Jack Date: July 7, 2018, 3:55 am
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[quote author=Leti link=topic=53.msg6991#msg6991
date=1530945162]
How is Garret doing? Is he helping in the imaginarium?
[/quote]
Garrett's doing fine. It's hard to find one on one time with
everyone, though he and I did have an early lunch on Thursday.
He gets along with Bryce and the twins well. I think Noah made
him uncomfortable (big and loud), but he's always gotten along
with Barry, and he's warmed up to Noah. Depending on his work
schedule, he visits several times a week, and joins whatever
we're doing at the time, from morning games, to pool time, to
quieter evenings.
No, he doesn't work with the Imaginarium much. He's mostly at
the old Target (I've got to think of something else to call
that) and Campus stores. He has settled in and is comfortable
at those locations, so I decided to leave him there.
Garret has actually been learning a lot about cooking this
summer - from the boys, not me.
I am convincing Garrett that working for me for the rest of his
life might not be the best idea, and that he might want to get
some type of education while he's still young. The problem with
that is that he has no idea what he wants to do. I was thinking
about asking Mr. C (the councilor at BCA) for advice on figuring
things like that out.
Garrett is still nervous and a bit reclusive, but I think having
some friends his own age with whom he can hang out is helping
him open up a bit.
#Post#: 8093--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Jack Date: August 16, 2018, 2:35 pm
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It's not that Garrett hasn't been around, it's that he and I
haven't had much one on one time in a while.
With the younger kids back in school, he and I had lunch today
(made possible by the college kids doing the grocery shopping,
so thanks to them).
A few weeks ago, I sat down and had a talk with Garrett. I
tried to make it clear to him that, at work, I have to treat him
fairly, comparable to the other employees - no special
treatment. However, outside of work, I consider him a very
close, younger friend, and I'm happy to help him however I can.
Over the last... almost 11 months now, Garrett has made a lot of
improvements, and I think he's doing really well in a lot of
ways. I've been honest with him that I love having him around,
but that I also want him to learn to be independent - it's not
that I mind having him around, but that I want him to be able to
be alone when he wants and needs to be. I think he does
understand that, and he seems really proud of the progress that
he's been making and the skills that he's been learning.
All of which leads up to saying, "I'm taking Garrett to the
doctor's office next week."
Garrett hasn't been to the doctor since being released from
state custody last year, and I've finally convinced him to find
a primary care physician, and he's also going to get an eye exam
and see a dentist for a cleaning and check up. I had to work to
get Garrett to do that in the first place, and then I've had to
work again to get him to admit to the doctor that he's been
raped. He's not ready to do that, and that's the main reason
I'm going along with him - so I can explain it to the doctor and
ask the doctor to check for STDs or any physical damage.
He's a little nervous about the upcoming visit, but he
understands the need to get it down, and at least he's not
trying to talk his way out of it or anything.
#Post#: 8094--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Leti Date: August 16, 2018, 3:10 pm
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[emoji173] Garrett, good that he will see the different doctors,
is important to see about his eyes and is he has an STD to have
treatment .
:) hugs
Leti
#Post#: 8102--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Zyngaru Date: August 16, 2018, 5:55 pm
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I am so happy that you have gotten through to Garrett about the
need to get a full check up by doctors.
The doctor needs to know about the r a p e. It is extremely
personal and embarrassing. But the only way he is going to know
about his true health is to let a doctor know so he/she can
examine him from that perspective. Hopefully he hasn't caught
anything from his past experience. If the doctor gives him a
clean bill of health then he won't need to bring up the r a p e
again with the doctor. Unfortunately if he was infected by that
experience, then the embarrassment and humiliation he feels from
telling people about it, will continue on.
Is he able to do therapy to help with the emotional scares?
There again, it is something very humiliating to admit and talk
about with anyone. Hopefully your relationship with him, will
help in his emotional health as well.
Personal believe: Rapists should have their thing cut off.
Voluntary sex of every type is readily available, there is no
need to force anyone. But then we know r a p e isn't about sex
but about power. So cut that power rod off. Okay time to get
off my soapbox.
I hope and pray for the best for Garrett.
#Post#: 8106--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: kalico Date: August 16, 2018, 8:55 pm
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Poor kiddo
Happy he is trusting you and willing to do what needs to be
done....
Hope all goes well and everything is good...
Hugs kal
#Post#: 8110--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Jack Date: August 17, 2018, 3:53 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=53.msg8102#msg8102
date=1534460159]
Is he able to do therapy to help with the emotional scares?
There again, it is something very humiliating to admit and talk
about with anyone. Hopefully your relationship with him, will
help in his emotional health as well.
[/quote]
He is already seeing a therapist. Since Garrett's an adult and
the therapy is being paid through insurance, I really don't have
much to do with it, and he doesn't say much about it, so there's
not much I can say about it.
#Post#: 9299--------------------------------------------------
Re: Garret Riley
By: Jack Date: October 11, 2018, 3:57 am
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I think I've talked Garrett into seeing a councilor at the local
college, who will help him with some career counseling. Right
now, Garret has no idea what he wants to do with his life.
While I find he's a great worker, and I try to pay my employees
well and give them good benefits, the honest truth is that I
only have a handful of positions that pay enough for someone to
raise a family. Right now, Garr's not too concerned about that,
since he's happy having his own little place and doing his own
thing, but I want him to think about the future.
With everything else going on with him, I didn't mention that we
moved him into a new apartment last week. This is a one
bedroom, and he was very happy, since he now has room for a desk
and an easy chair, since his original apartment was getting a
bit cramped. I bought him a larger book shelf as a house
warming present. He seems to be very happy with his new spot.
Garret is basically doing fine. Since he moved, he's been
spending a bit more time at home, but I've mostly been seeing
him three or four times a week outside of work, we have lunch
together at least once almost every week, and he joins the
family for dinner about that often.
Really not much going on with him, but he seems to be doing well
and be happy. He has promised to help out here on Halloween
this year, so I'll have to make sure he's off that night.
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