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       #Post#: 5619--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: David M. Katz Date: May 10, 2018, 4:58 pm
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       Did you get a chance to have the relationships discussion?
       #Post#: 5626--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Jack Date: May 10, 2018, 5:57 pm
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       [quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=53.msg5619#msg5619
       date=1525989526]
       Did you get a chance to have the relationships discussion?
       [/quote]
       We talked at it, and around it, while we were resetting the
       display, but we didn't get much into specifics.  For now, I'm
       more interested in getting him thinking about what he wants and
       what/if he has any goals.
       #Post#: 6991--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Leti Date: July 7, 2018, 1:32 am
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       How is Garret doing? Is he helping in the imaginarium?
       :D
       Leti
       #Post#: 6996--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Jack Date: July 7, 2018, 3:55 am
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       [quote author=Leti link=topic=53.msg6991#msg6991
       date=1530945162]
       How is Garret doing? Is he helping in the imaginarium?
       [/quote]
       Garrett's doing fine.  It's hard to find one on one time with
       everyone, though he and I did have an early lunch on Thursday.
       He gets along with Bryce and the twins well.  I think Noah made
       him uncomfortable (big and loud), but he's always gotten along
       with Barry, and he's warmed up to Noah.  Depending on his work
       schedule, he visits several times a week, and joins whatever
       we're doing at the time, from morning games, to pool time, to
       quieter evenings.
       No, he doesn't work with the Imaginarium much.  He's mostly at
       the old Target (I've got to think of something else to call
       that) and Campus stores.  He has settled in and is comfortable
       at those locations, so I decided to leave him there.
       Garret has actually been learning a lot about cooking this
       summer - from the boys, not me.
       I am convincing Garrett that working for me for the rest of his
       life might not be the best idea, and that he might want to get
       some type of education while he's still young.  The problem with
       that is that he has no idea what he wants to do.  I was thinking
       about asking Mr. C (the councilor at BCA) for advice on figuring
       things like that out.
       Garrett is still nervous and a bit reclusive, but I think having
       some friends his own age with whom he can hang out is helping
       him open up a bit.
       #Post#: 8093--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Jack Date: August 16, 2018, 2:35 pm
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       It's not that Garrett hasn't been around, it's that he and I
       haven't had much one on one time in a while.
       With the younger kids back in school, he and I had lunch today
       (made possible by the college kids doing the grocery shopping,
       so thanks to them).
       A few weeks ago, I sat down and had a talk with Garrett.  I
       tried to make it clear to him that, at work, I have to treat him
       fairly, comparable to the other employees - no special
       treatment.  However, outside of work, I consider him a very
       close, younger friend, and I'm happy to help him however I can.
       Over the last... almost 11 months now, Garrett has made a lot of
       improvements, and I think he's doing really well in a lot of
       ways.  I've been honest with him that I love having him around,
       but that I also want him to learn to be independent - it's not
       that I mind having him around, but that I want him to be able to
       be alone when he wants and needs to be.  I think he does
       understand that, and he seems really proud of the progress that
       he's been making and the skills that he's been learning.
       All of which leads up to saying, "I'm taking Garrett to the
       doctor's office next week."
       Garrett hasn't been to the doctor since being released from
       state custody last year, and I've finally convinced him to find
       a primary care physician, and he's also going to get an eye exam
       and see a dentist for a cleaning and check up.  I had to work to
       get Garrett to do that in the first place, and then I've had to
       work again to get him to admit to the doctor that he's been
       raped.  He's not ready to do that, and that's the main reason
       I'm going along with him - so I can explain it to the doctor and
       ask the doctor to check for STDs or any physical damage.
       He's a little nervous about the upcoming visit, but he
       understands the need to get it down, and at least he's not
       trying to talk his way out of it or anything.
       #Post#: 8094--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Leti Date: August 16, 2018, 3:10 pm
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       [emoji173] Garrett, good that he will see the different doctors,
       is important to see about his eyes and is he has an STD to have
       treatment .
       :) hugs
       Leti
       #Post#: 8102--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Zyngaru Date: August 16, 2018, 5:55 pm
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       I am so happy that you have gotten through to Garrett about the
       need to get a full check up by doctors.
       The doctor needs to know about the r a p e.  It is extremely
       personal and embarrassing.  But the only way he is going to know
       about his true health is to let a doctor know so he/she can
       examine him from that perspective. Hopefully he hasn't caught
       anything from his past experience.  If the doctor gives him a
       clean bill of health then he won't need to bring up the r a p e
       again with the doctor.  Unfortunately if he was infected by that
       experience, then the embarrassment and humiliation he feels from
       telling people about it, will continue on.
       Is he able to do therapy to help with the emotional scares?
       There again, it is something very humiliating to admit and talk
       about with anyone.  Hopefully your relationship with him, will
       help in his emotional health as well.
       Personal believe:  Rapists should have their thing cut off.
       Voluntary sex of every type is readily available, there is no
       need to force anyone.  But then we know r a p e isn't about sex
       but about power.  So cut that power rod off.  Okay time to get
       off my soapbox.
       I hope and pray for the best for Garrett.
       #Post#: 8106--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: kalico Date: August 16, 2018, 8:55 pm
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       Poor kiddo
       Happy he is trusting you and willing to do what needs to be
       done....
       Hope all goes well and everything is good...
       Hugs kal
       #Post#: 8110--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Jack Date: August 17, 2018, 3:53 am
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       [quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=53.msg8102#msg8102
       date=1534460159]
       Is he able to do therapy to help with the emotional scares?
       There again, it is something very humiliating to admit and talk
       about with anyone.  Hopefully your relationship with him, will
       help in his emotional health as well.
       [/quote]
       He is already seeing a therapist.  Since Garrett's an adult and
       the therapy is being paid through insurance, I really don't have
       much to do with it, and he doesn't say much about it, so there's
       not much I can say about it.
       #Post#: 9299--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Garret Riley
       By: Jack Date: October 11, 2018, 3:57 am
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       I think I've talked Garrett into seeing a councilor at the local
       college, who will help him with some career counseling.  Right
       now, Garret has no idea what he wants to do with his life.
       While I find he's a great worker, and I try to pay my employees
       well and give them good benefits, the honest truth is that I
       only have a handful of positions that pay enough for someone to
       raise a family.  Right now, Garr's not too concerned about that,
       since he's happy having his own little place and doing his own
       thing, but I want him to think about the future.
       With everything else going on with him, I didn't mention that we
       moved him into a new apartment last week.  This is a one
       bedroom, and he was very happy, since he now has room for a desk
       and an easy chair, since his original apartment was getting a
       bit cramped.  I bought him a larger book shelf as a house
       warming present.  He seems to be very happy with his new spot.
       Garret is basically doing fine.  Since he moved, he's been
       spending a bit more time at home, but I've mostly been seeing
       him three or four times a week outside of work, we have lunch
       together at least once almost every week, and he joins the
       family for dinner about that often.
       Really not much going on with him, but he seems to be doing well
       and be happy.  He has promised to help out here on Halloween
       this year, so I'll have to make sure he's off that night.
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