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#Post#: 7006--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Jack Date: July 7, 2018, 9:16 am
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His tic isn't very noticeable most of the time. I actually
described it in the first post on this thread.
[quote author=Jack link=topic=500.msg4967#msg4967
date=1523093807]
His tics aren't really bad - his eye twitches and he has a
little jerk to his left hand occasionally. He has a slight
verbal tic, but you don't notice it much (more if it was very
quiet, I guess). His mom says the verbal tic does get worse
when he's nervous or upset. I'm pretty sure he gets spanked,
because his mom said something like, "It's really bad when he's
about to get sp... in trouble." I didn't fish for more
information.
[/quote]
I have seen Sam a couple of times when he was in a bit of
trouble, and his tics do become more pronounced. I can imagine
he has a bit of trouble with them at school, if the entire class
is quiet. It's really just a smalll --- I dunno, a hooting type
noise?
#Post#: 8386--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Jack Date: August 28, 2018, 4:49 am
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I see I haven't said much about Sam in a while, but he was over
last night.
Let's start with - things are going well. He's a little down
that so many of his friends attend BCA, but he and Jake and Eli
Marchant are all close, and not only are they all in seventh
grade, but they have each have some classes together.
Jake wasn't here last night, but that's not why Sam came over.
He was having a bit of trouble with his pre-algebra, and his
parents couldn't explain it in a way he understood, so they let
him come over here after dinner (and after calling).
It was really one of those typical problems where his parents
hadn't done it in a while, so they had trouble verbalizing it.
The problem was made worse because Sam actually knew what to do.
He and I kept trying to talk it through, but he was getting in
his own way, so I took the book from him, picked him up, laid
him over my lap, and rubbed his back while talking him through
it. Every once in a while, he'd screw up and I'd give him a
solid pat on the rear - he'd yelp and giggle. We did finally
get him through it though, and I think I made a point of the
importance of doing each step in order (if you're curious, it
was just expanding, then simplifying, expressions) and not
rushing or skipping around.
It didn't take too long, but he did sit down at the table to do
his problems, so I could double check them. He got them all
right after that, and I got a big hug before he went home.
#Post#: 13746--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Jack Date: July 9, 2019, 6:06 am
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I have occasionally mentioned Sam in other places. He's a
regular visitor here, by himself, and with his family. He's an
active participant in the Summer Movie Series, he's over here
more days than not (even during the school year), and his family
joined us for the Tribal Christmas Party. There just hasn't
been much detail to discuss.
Until this week.
A quick reminder that Sam, while pretty average looking, is on
the small side for his age, which is now 13 (and just over four
months, I believe).
Sam's step-dad is Steve. Steve is about 34 years old. He'd be
an okay looking guy if he shaved. Well, he came over to talk to
me Sunday evening.
It seems that Sam was grounded.
While Steve didn't go into any details, it seems that there was
some (more or less) direct disobedience about something - not
much question of his guilt, in other words.
There was a bit of beating around the bush, but, once we finally
got down to the point, it seems that Steve had declined to spank
Sam, so Sam's mom had grounded him. Steve felt like the
grounding she set was maybe a bit excessive. On the other hand,
Sam felt it was devastating, since he was going to have to stay
at home for several days.
What it finally came down to is not that Steve thought Sam was
innocent. Actually, the last time Steve had spanked Sam, back
before Memorial Day, so maybe six or seven weeks now, he'd
noticed that the boy is getting some pubic hair - not an early
bloomer, but not incredibly late, either.
I do know that Sam's mom used to spank him, but stopped (either
since or just before I met them, from what I can tell), because
she thought he was getting 'too mature', I think is the way she
phrased it. From what I can remember last summer, Sam wasn't
showing much signs of puberty at the time, but maybe she was
anticipating.
As far as I can tell, the early adolescence wasn't a problem for
Sam; it was simply a case of Steve trying to show his step-son
some respect, which also demonstrated the law of unintended
consequences. Of course you know I don't believe in ceasing to
spank just became of some random milestone. If it works, why
fix it, is a motto for many things, and I felt it applied in
this case. On the other hand, while Sam's feelings need to be
respected, so did Steve's, and while being grounded for three
full days (so he'd be free again on Thursday) is harsh during
the summer, it's hardly abusive.
It turns out that Steve is a local boy, and he actually knew
some of my kids from his time in HS (he and JD were in the same
class, and had some friends in common, though they didn't run in
the same circles). We got to talking about CP in general, and
it turned out that Steve was punished by his parents, when he
was younger, in the same way that Sam was - what I call
spankings - over the knee, with hand or implement, on trousers,
but sometimes down, especially if he was wearing jeans. His mom
stopped before his dad did, but his dad changed from spanking to
the belt. When he was 'whipped' (his term), he had to lie
across his twin bed sideways, so his head and shoulders were off
one side and his legs across the other. His father stood at the
foot of the bed to handle the details. While the whippings were
mostly on pants or with them down, he does admit he received
some bare: he remembers three especially - one for shoplifting,
one for skipping school, and one for smoking.
He's not sure when he started getting whipped, and he's not
positive when the last one was. The thing is, while he's not
positive about the shoplifting, he knows the smoking and
skipping were both his freshman year in high school. Not only
did that make him a year older than Sam is now, but he admits he
was bigger and an earlier bloomer than Sam.
I suggested that, while if he's not comfortable spanking, that's
a good enough reason not to, that if he's just worried about the
close contact, because Sam is showing more signs of puberty,
that he just try a different position/implement. He could
easily use a belt like his dad did, or he could use paddle in a
school boy position.
I'm not sure why he came to me, though I think he felt a bit
guilty because of Sam being grounded, because he wouldn't spank.
He did seem to be a bit more comfortable when he left, though
if he'd made a decision, he didn't share it.
As I was getting ready to leave for work yesterday morning, Sam
showed up.
"Did you talk to Steve yesterday?"
"Yes, I did."
Reaching behind himself and rubbing his bottom theatrically, Sam
said, "I'm not sure if I should thank you or not."
Unfortunately, I was leaving for work, and I didn't get a chance
to talk to him privately when I got home, so I don't know
anything specifically about what happened after Steve and I
talked.
#Post#: 13749--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: db105 Date: July 9, 2019, 7:35 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=500.msg13746#msg13746
date=1562670366]
Reaching behind himself and rubbing his bottom theatrically, Sam
said, "I'm not sure if I should thank you or not."
Unfortunately, I was leaving for work, and I didn't get a chance
to talk to him privately when I got home, so I don't know
anything specifically about what happened after Steve and I
talked.
[/quote]
Seems pretty clear. ;D
Anyway, even if the spanking/whuppin was not an improvement, you
were not to blame in this case. You were just the sounding
board.
#Post#: 13751--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Zyngaru Date: July 9, 2019, 8:54 am
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We can only guess about Sam and Steve's conversation, but it
probably came down to Sam, you can finish out your grounding, or
take a spanking and end the grounding. Obviously Steve told Sam
about his conversation with you, or Sam wouldn't have known and
thus wouldn't have made his comment. But I do think Steve gave
Sam the choice of being Spanked or finish his grounding, which
leads me to what I have believed for a long time. Many boys
would rather get their punishment out of the way of their social
life with a spanking, rather than being grounded from their
friends and life.
How much did Steve tell Sam of his own personal experience, we
will probably never know. But I suspect he told Sam some of it,
as sharing the reason for not spanking Sam in the first place.
I also suspect, that conversation helped Steve and Sam bond even
closer.
Unfortunately Jack, you missed your opportunity to have that
intimate chat with Sam about his sore bottom. When a boy opens
the door to such chats, it is usually a one time opening. I
know I have missed my share of such conversations, over my
lifetime, because of other responsibilities that got in my way
to having the time to sit and talk.
#Post#: 13755--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Adric Date: July 9, 2019, 11:45 am
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I was never grounded so I can't speak from personal experience,
but I can see two reasons why that would be very upsetting to
Sam. The obvious one is that being "imprisoned" for three days
out of an all-too-short summer would certainly be unpleasant,
but the other reason, which would be the important one for me,
is that Sam would have to tell his friends that he couldn't be
with them because he was being punished. For me at 13 the
embarrassment of admitting that would be the real punishment.
His friends, if they are bold and nosy enough, might even ask
him what he did to get in that situation, something he would not
like to discuss. A spanking, if it were known, would certainly
be embarrassing, but it would not be known unless Sam chose to
reveal it.
#Post#: 13761--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Jack Date: July 9, 2019, 3:45 pm
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Adric, one thing you should remember is that it's pretty common
knowledge that CP is in use around my house. I think the fact
that it's pretty openly accepted effects how embarrassing it is
(in general, not necessarily when it happens). On the other
hand, I never had a problem admitting when I was grounded, since
it was all my parents' fault anyway - being that they were so
unreasonable and all.
DB - no blame was suggested. I should have made it clear that
Sam was talking about thanks or blame in a joking tone of voice
as he rubbed. It was pretty obvious that, while he might have
been sore the night before, he was happy to be with us the next
morning.
Zyngaru - you're probably right. Sam doesn't really hide the
fact that he gets spanked, but he's not really open about
details anyway. Instead, I'm going to try to bring it up with
Steve, if I have the chance to talk to him again soon.
#Post#: 13788--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: db105 Date: July 10, 2019, 2:17 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=500.msg13761#msg13761
date=1562705135]
DB - no blame was suggested. I should have made it clear that
Sam was talking about thanks or blame in a joking tone of voice
as he rubbed. It was pretty obvious that, while he might have
been sore the night before, he was happy to be with us the next
morning.
[/quote]
I understand that. I was speaking in a joking tone too, and I
was referring to the fact that on several occasions you have
"volunteered" advide to parents that their kids may not be happy
about, but that this was not one such situation.
#Post#: 13798--------------------------------------------------
Re: Sam Sutton (12)
By: Jack Date: July 10, 2019, 2:46 pm
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I made a point to talk with Steve last night. Ostensibly, I was
just reminding him that we were going to be away on vacation
next week. After a couple of minutes of general chat, I asked
him how things went Sunday, since Sam obviously hasn't been
grounded. He told me that, after some thought and a quick
discussion with Sam's mom, he decided that he was bending too
far backwards, since he was addressing issues that Sam
apparently hadn't even thought of.
He did think about whipping Sam like his own dad had whipped
him, but decided that Sam is still much smaller than he was at
the same age. He decided that 'if it ain't broke, don't fix
it'. He made the offer to Sam to end the grounding, Sam agreed,
and he ended up over Steve's knees with his bottom bared. Last
year, Sam told me he got spanked by hand or paddle. I asked
Steve something to the effect of 'well, you can always use a
paddle if you want to make more of an impression.' Steve told
me that he does use a paddle, and he's been 'using it more since
we moved here and he's been getting bigger.' He added that, if
he's going to keep spanking, he'll probably be using the paddle
all the time now.
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