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       #Post#: 3579--------------------------------------------------
       School Trouble
       By: Jack Date: February 8, 2018, 12:39 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Because the 'teaching' thread really should be more about my
       class and student, I decided to start this one to deal with my
       various office interactions.
       When I came in this morning, Mr. P was talking to the councilor
       (Mr. C), and looked relieved to see me.
       "Jack, I'm trying to deal with a minor emergency.  You used to
       cover for your vice-principal, didn't you?"
       "Yes," I answered, "He was having chemo, and I'd cover when he
       was recovering from a treatment.  It wasn't full time, and that
       was my last semester teaching - I went full time at the store
       after that.'"
       "Well, I have a favor to ask.  Mr. C prefers not to paddle or
       deal with discipline.  I have a few young men waiting to be
       dealt with.  It's nothing major, but I'd prefer to get it over
       with.  I've already marked their sheets.  Talk to them, and if
       you change anything, please make a note as to why.  Can you do
       that?"
       I shrugged.  "Sure."
       There were three boys sitting there.  I looked at the forms for
       each of them, and picked one with whom to start.
       The first boy was one I had seen before, but didn't know.  His
       name was Rick, a fairly cute black kid, who's a classmate of
       Kline's.  He was paired up with Brandon Malone, but I wanted to
       talk to each of them separately.  The report said that they had
       been fighting after school, but that no punches had been thrown.
       They claimed they were just wrestling.  Both of them gave
       pretty much the same version, so I had them both in the room.
       We looked up the definition of scuffling, and talked about why
       it's not allowed.  Neither of them wanted to involve their
       parents (and, to be fair, they had been seen wrestling, and no
       one was trying to treat it as fighting).  Scuffling is
       considered moderately serious, since it's both a cause of actual
       fights, and an excuse boys often use to try to cover actual
       fights.  Both of them received three swats with their pants
       lowered.  Rick called out, but managed not to actually cry.
       Brandon took it a bit more quietly than that.
       The third boy who'd been awaiting me was Sandy Schuman, whom you
       might remember from a bit of tobacco trouble with Joe last fall.
       He had exceeded hit tardy limit, and needed a couple of swats
       on the trousers to reset his limit.  He was very polite and
       matter of fact about it.  He actually thinks I'm Joe's uncle,
       and knows about me teaching their.  His family had bought their
       tree from the North Pole (the business Joe's dad and I co-own),
       and they really like it.
       When I went out, I had another senior awaiting me, but this one
       turned out to be a real problem, and I'll have to detail it
       later.
       #Post#: 3585--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Zyngaru Date: February 8, 2018, 2:53 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It looks like Mr. P. just made a nice maneuver and made Jack the
       back-up disciplinarian.  Possibly even the primary
       disciplinarian when Jack is at the school.
       Mr. P. had three boys waiting and even before Jack was done with
       them, he added another boy into the queue.
       Yep, Jack is going to be known at school as The Paddler.  :o ;D
       :o
       Joking!!!!!!!!!!!  Sort of.  ::) ::) ::)
       #Post#: 3587--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: David M. Katz Date: February 8, 2018, 3:27 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Waiting [s]patiently[/s] for the info on the senior.   ;D
       #Post#: 3596--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Zyngaru Date: February 8, 2018, 4:24 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=388.msg3587#msg3587
       date=1518125268]
       Waiting [s]patiently[/s] for the info on the senior.   ;D
       [/quote]
       ME TOO!
       #Post#: 3603--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Jack Date: February 9, 2018, 4:34 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       As I said, when I finished dealing with my line of waiting boys,
       another had appeared.  He was obviously in the upper grades, he
       looked miserable, and I was pretty sure his pushed up right
       sleeve explained why.  I took his discipline slip and asked him
       to come back with me.  His name was Taylor Moore.
       Sure enough, he was there for a major dress code violation
       because of his tattoo.  He explained that he had to keep the tat
       moisturized, and that fresh tats can leak plasma while they're
       healing, and he was afraid of his sleeve getting stuck to the
       tat and drying, and you're not supposed to cover them all the
       time.  I finally broke in and explained that some of my adult
       sons have tats, and that I've had to deal with them before.  I
       did chew him out about the timing - we're only about a month
       away from Spring Break.  He explained he hadn't known.  It's on
       his upper shoulder so he thought it wouldn't be exposed.  I
       countered by pointing out that it's his duty to know - doing
       something then violating the rules out of ignorance isn't much
       excuse.  The kid admitted his dad had already chewed him out and
       told him a lot of the same things.
       I had to pause to read a couple of things - which is the main
       reason this didn't become a BOTD: I wasn't going to try to write
       the BCA Code of Conduct.   The relevant part is that, if a
       student is in dress code violation, and they refuse/are unable
       to correct it, they will be placed in ISS (in-school suspension
       - being placed in a detention room and not attending regular
       classes) until it's fixed.  Part of the reason Tayor was so
       upset is that his Dad grounds him strictly if he gets ISS.
       I did look at Taylor's record while this was going on.  The
       reason is sealed, but Taylor transferred to BCA when he was in
       sixth grade when he was assigned to DAEP (Disciplinary Alternate
       Education Program, which is incredibly restrictive at best).  I
       asked Taylor about his father's reaction and CP in the home (out
       of my own curiosity mostly),. but he said he thinks his dad
       doesn't really agree with whuppping teenagers - his dad hasn't
       done it since he was in 7th grade.  On the other hand, it looks
       like h'is dad's not against it either, since he had two bare
       sessions when he was in 8th and 9th grade - one for fighting and
       one for basically bullying - playing a 'joke' where a kid got
       hurt a little.
       I can kind of understand that.  While I don't really agree with
       dress codes, there are reasons for them.  Allowing someone to
       just flagrantly violate them kind of defeats the purpose.  On
       the other hand, it's been proven that ISS is harmful to a
       students grades (probably because they're not being taught when
       they're there, and get behind, as well as simply isolating them
       from the community).
       Let me pause to say two things.  First, there was nothing wrong
       with the tattoo. It was two roses with the vines intertwined and
       it had a ribbon with two names and sets of dates on it - his
       mother's parents and heir birth and death dates.  Taylor had the
       new tat yesterday because he'd turned 18 on Wednesday.  When
       9/11 happened, when he was 17 months old, his dad went into the
       military, and he and his mom lived with her parents for about
       the next three years.  He grew up with them being the major
       people in his life - a lot of his earliest memories are about
       them.  The thing is, they were nearly as old as my grandparents,
       and they're both deceased now, so he wanted to get this tat.
       I managed to find a statement in the BCA code of conduct that I
       remembered seeing before  It basically says that there are
       reasons for policies, and it's important that they're followed,
       but that the primary goal of BCA is the education and training
       of the students, and their welfare has to be considered
       foremost.
       "Taylor, if there was an alternative to ISS, what would you be
       willing to do?"
       "Anything!"
       "Even if it meant a harsh paddling?"
       "Yes," he said, a bit less enthusiastically.
       Since Mr. P was dealing with an emergency, I went to the
       secondary women's principal.  I laid out my reasoning that this
       was a stupid mistake, and something that he could NOT correct
       right away, not something he was refusing to.  She made the
       arguments I expected, but she didn't seem to be strongly opposed
       (turns out she has 7 tats).  We had to negotiate a bit, but she
       signed off on my solution.
       "I went back and took the Lexan paddle out of the cabinet and
       showed it to him.  He'd only heard whispers of it, but he knew
       it was scary.  I explained that, for him to avoid ISS, his
       punishment for the violation was going to have to be memorable
       enough that he didn't laugh it off, and that no one else wanted
       to repeat it.  As well as that, he was also going to have to
       report to the office before 8am every morning and do 'detention'
       until the first bell, until he could cover the tat again, which
       should be after about a week.
       Taylor looked relieved, until I asked Mr. C to join us as the
       witness, then he looked sick again.
       I cleared part of the desk and, instead of leaning against it, I
       let him lay so his upper body was supported, and he was griping
       the sides.  When he stepped up to the side of the desk, he undid
       his pants.  They were loose enough that they fell to his knees.
       He was wearing black boxers briefs with skulls all over them -
       Old Navy I think (the waistband was black with black writing, so
       a bit hard to make out).  It took a minute to adjust him - I
       wanted him to have plenty of support, but I wanted space between
       his hips and the desk, so he didn't push forward and hurt
       himself.
       You might notice that I haven't mentioned how many swats I was
       going to give.  He hadn't noticed that either.  If he screwed
       this up by laughing about it or acting like he got away with
       something - well, his punishment was already signed off on, and
       there's not really much they can do to me, but it could have
       caused some bad feelings.  While there were loopholes in his
       situation, he could still make things harder for other kids in
       bad situations in the future, so I intended to make sure he
       remembered this.  I was planning to give him a minimum of six
       swats, but I was willing to go to eight if I thought he was too
       blase about things.
       Taylor isn't a great looking kid, but he's not ugly either.  He
       is carrying a few extra pounds - the worst thing is he has one
       of those rears where it looks more like just one solid surface
       instead of two cheeks.  I lined up and decided to just do a set
       of swats down each cheek, alternating, and if I had to go 8, I'd
       go back and put the lengthwise middle of the paddle centered on
       the crack.
       He took the first two pretty well, and stayed fairly quiet for
       the next pair.  By the sixth, he was yelping, but I went ahead.
       He yelled at the seventh, as it was layering over already
       tenderized territory, and when the eighth one landed down
       towards his sit spots, he howled.
       I had Taylor stand up, and asked him a couple of questions.  As
       Mr. C and I discussed if Taylor had learned his lesson or needed
       a couple of more, Taylor was starting to cry a little. I told
       him to pull up his pants, but, while Mr. C signed the paperwork,
       I made sure Taylor understood exactly how important his attitude
       and compliance with the 'detention' was and why.  I also
       explained to him that this was not just a school thing, but
       adults are held accountable all the time, and just because you
       claim not to have known might not save your job.  I didn't want
       him grounded or in ISS, but I didn't want him feeling like he
       got away with something either.  He swore to me he understood,
       and seemed almost pathetically grateful, considering he had to
       peel his shorts off his butt before he dressed (and he did take
       time for a good rub, after Mr. C had left the room).
       #Post#: 3605--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Adric Date: February 9, 2018, 6:51 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       So now he will go to classes for the next week or so with one
       sleeve rolled up above his upper shoulder to fully expose the
       tat?  I'm surprised at the necessity of that considering that
       many people have them in places that they clearly could not
       leave exposed for a week.  It seems that having a sleeve draped
       down over it would not be as bad as covering it with a bandage.
       I think Taylor is overreacting to the situation.
       #Post#: 3606--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Journey Date: February 9, 2018, 7:36 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I don't know anything about tattoos, but I remember seeing some
       celebrities with their tattoos wrapped up in cling wrap. Could
       Taylor have wrapped it up and let his sleeve down?
       Out of curiosity, which of your adult sons have tattoos? Were
       they still living with you/in college when they got them?
       #Post#: 3607--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: db105 Date: February 9, 2018, 7:59 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I'm glad it could be solved in an acceptable manner. I don't
       like using the dress code for this, because the dress code is
       designed thinking about clothes, and problems with clothes you
       can always correct, either immediately or once you get home.
       Taylor could not take his tattoo off.
       Besides, the tattoo is rather sweet.
       At the same time, I appreciate the school is not happy about a
       student openly displaying tattoos. Fortunately it's only for a
       few days. What about PE, though? He'll be displaying his tattoos
       in the changing room. Won't that cause an unwanted pull effect
       when other students see it?
       #Post#: 3608--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Zyngaru Date: February 9, 2018, 9:58 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Not knowing anything about tattoos and their maintenance, I
       won't comment on covering and not covering them for maintenance.
       The way I understand what you wrote.  Tattoos are allowed at
       school.  Taylor's trouble was because of how he had to dress for
       it's maintenance, not that he got a tattoo.  So in P.E. or
       elsewhere when his tattoo is exposed fully, there won't be a
       problem with it?
       My question is this.  Are tattoos allowed to show at school in
       general?  Like tattoos on the forearm and neck?
       I ask because many companies do not allow tattoos to show.  The
       company I just retired from, doesn't.  If you had tattoos, you
       had to keep them covered while at work, if not you were let go.
       (It was a retail company that had uniforms and dress code.)
       #Post#: 3609--------------------------------------------------
       Re: School Trouble
       By: Jack Date: February 9, 2018, 1:52 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Adric link=topic=388.msg3605#msg3605
       date=1518180681]
       I'm surprised at the necessity of that considering that many
       people have them in places that they clearly could not leave
       exposed for a week.  It seems that having a sleeve draped down
       over it would not be as bad as covering it with a bandage.  I
       think Taylor is overreacting to the situation.
       [/quote]
       I'm not sure how people handle it on say, a butt cheek, but in
       most places, you could wear loose fitting clothes.  In the case
       of a shoulder/upper arm, the sleeve will be loosening and
       tightening as you move your arm.  I don't really know if he was
       overreacting or not, but I do remember my boys keeping it
       uncovered as much as possible during the day for the first week
       or so.
       [quote author=Journey link=topic=388.msg3606#msg3606
       date=1518183371]
       I don't know anything about tattoos, but I remember seeing some
       celebrities with their tattoos wrapped up in cling wrap. Could
       Taylor have wrapped it up and let his sleeve down?
       Out of curiosity, which of your adult sons have tattoos? Were
       they still living with you/in college when they got them?
       [/quote]
       My understanding is that it's not supposed to be wrapped too
       much of the day.
       As I remember, Mikell, JD, PJ, Tommy, Marcus, and Caleb all have
       tats.  That's as simple as Charlie having a navy anchor, to PJ,
       whom I believe has 7 now.
       [quote author=db105 link=topic=388.msg3607#msg3607
       date=1518184756]
       I'm glad it could be solved in an acceptable manner. I don't
       like using the dress code for this, because the dress code is
       designed thinking about clothes, and problems with clothes you
       can always correct, either immediately or once you get home.
       Taylor could not take his tattoo off.
       Besides, the tattoo is rather sweet.
       At the same time, I appreciate the school is not happy about a
       student openly displaying tattoos. Fortunately it's only for a
       few days. What about PE, though? He'll be displaying his tattoos
       in the changing room. Won't that cause an unwanted pull effect
       when other students see it?
       [/quote]
       Daniel, I checked around and a lot of companies have policies
       against tats and/or piercings.  I can especially appreciate it
       at a Christian school.
       I agree the tattoo is sweet, but it would still be sweet in
       another month or in 4 more.
       As for the changing room - a lot of things are seen in the
       changing room that we normally discourage displaying in most
       parts of the school.  For that matter, he is a senior, and I'm
       not sure he even has gym class.
       [quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=388.msg3608#msg3608
       date=1518191895]
       The way I understand what you wrote.  Tattoos are allowed at
       school.  Taylor's trouble was because of how he had to dress for
       it's maintenance, not that he got a tattoo.  So in P.E. or
       elsewhere when his tattoo is exposed fully, there won't be a
       problem with it?
       My question is this.  Are tattoos allowed to show at school in
       general?  Like tattoos on the forearm and neck?
       I ask because many companies do not allow tattoos to show.  The
       company I just retired from, doesn't.  If you had tattoos, you
       had to keep them covered while at work, if not you were let go.
       (It was a retail company that had uniforms and dress code.)
       [/quote]
       I'm not sure where I said that tattoos are allowed.  I think
       it's more fair to say they're not specifically forbidden.
       However, under Texas law, it's basically illegal to tattoo a
       minor, which removes a lot of the question.  But no - the
       display of a tattoo is specifically forbidden and is considered
       a major dress code violation.
       [hr]
       I arrived at the office a few minutes before 8am this morning.
       It was actually quiet, with no one waiting in the 'abandon all
       hope' seats.  The receptionist was slightly busy with what
       seemed to be a couple of kids who'd been out sick being checked
       back into school.  Everyone else was sitting around drinking
       coffee or tea and discussing the upcoming day (or gossiping -
       whatever).
       The principal's waiting area didn't have anyone awaiting
       judgement, but it wasn't empty.  Taylor was already there.  When
       I walked in, he started to rise, then glanced at Mr. P and sat
       back down, so I walked over to him.  He held out his hand, so we
       shook.
       "Thanks again Mr. Wells.  My dad was still kind of ticked with
       me, but he said what you did was enough.  I told him what you
       said when you chewed me out, and he said you were right.  And he
       got me this!"
       'This' was a very light weight windbreaker that looked about two
       sizes to big for him.  It covered the tat, but it definitely
       wouldn't rub on it.  It looked light weight enough that it
       probably wouldn't get too heavy.
       "Too bad no one thought of that a day earlier - could have saved
       you some pain."
       He shrugged.
       "At least this way, if I need to take if off, I can.  Man, you
       were right about that paddle though.  When I sat down in first
       period, I thought I was going to cry.  And it... it didn't
       exactly hurt all day, but I didn't have any trouble remembering
       what happened.  It kind of felt like it should hurt every time I
       sat down.  And red!  My butt was still red when I got home last
       night, and I think it was kind of pink when I woke up this
       morning."
       "Guess it was pretty effective then?"
       "Yes, sir.  I'm just glad my dad didn't know you a long time
       ago.  He said if he'd known it'd make this big an impression on
       me, he woulda never quit whupping me."
       You could tell by the way he said it that he was sure his dad
       had been kidding, but you could tell by his eyes that he wasn't
       100% sure.
       Anyway, I said hello to everyone, got a couple of memos out of
       my box, and headed to class.
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