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       #Post#: 3476--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: db105 Date: February 4, 2018, 6:54 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Seeing that there's a plan and that there are people willing to
       help should be a big help for the boys (including Barrett).
       Dillon and Gina made some really bad choices, while having
       people who depend on them. You are already doing a lot, and your
       reluctance in posting their bail is understandable. Whatever
       happens, knowing that their sons are doing OK should help them.
       #Post#: 3490--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: kalico Date: February 5, 2018, 10:09 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Happy the boys made it back safe and that the trip was a good
       for them...
       I hope it all works out in the end.... more for what's best for
       the boys!
       Hugs kal
       #Post#: 3892--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: Jack Date: February 19, 2018, 4:41 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I had to verbally admonish Barrett after talking to him last
       week.
       He told me he had no plans for the weekend. He was going to do
       some studying and catch up no some work, and the boys were just
       going to hang out.  Since I know the boys love Marvel movies (do
       does Barrett), I asked why they weren't going to see Black
       Panther.
       "Jack, we can't afford that."
       Since I'm paying his bills right now, I know for a fact that he
       can indeed afford a trip to the movies for the three of them.
       As a matter of fact, I made sure he knew that there was enough
       there for them to eat out occasionally and so something fun
       every couple of weeks.  I reminded him of that.
       I'm not sure why, but he somehow got it into his head that they
       were 'taking advantage of me', so he was trying to be frugal.  I
       told him you aren't taking advantage if someone does it
       willingly, and that having fun was important.  He finally agreed
       that he doesn't want to have to drive all the way down here for
       a whupping, so he took the boys to see Black Panther Friday
       evening, and Saturday they got a pizza and Redbox and spent the
       evening that way. He even texted me receipts so I'd believe him.
       Drake and Ed have each had a couple of spankings in the last
       couple of weeks - Ed for his own version of bedtime rebellion,
       Drake for a moderately major curfew violation, and both of them
       for just flat out disobedience.  It's been nearly a week since
       the last spanking, so apparently the two of them have decided
       that Barrett's going to be consistent and keep enforcing the
       rules, and it might be less painful to just mind.
       They have Spring Break the same week we do, so they're going to
       come down here - even though we don't yet have any big plans.
       #Post#: 3902--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: kalico Date: February 19, 2018, 2:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Aww poor kiddos all the way around but happy they were able to
       get out and have a little fun and enjoy themselves.....
       Hope spring break is good for them and they can just relax and
       all have fun
       Hugs kal
       #Post#: 3926--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: db105 Date: February 20, 2018, 5:57 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yes, I agree that even if your budget is tight it's important to
       have fun from time to time. If you absolutely can't afford
       anything then you should look at fun activities that can be done
       for free.
       The little ones will have to get used to their elder brother
       taking a parental role now. It's important that Barrett is
       consistent but not overdo it.
       #Post#: 4434--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: Jack Date: March 16, 2018, 5:26 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Barrett and the boys are down here now.
       They went Saturday to visit their parents in jail.  Dillon has
       written me a couple of times, and he's managing not to beg for
       help, and he was both thankful for the help I'm giving the kids
       and apologetic for the way things turned out between us.  He
       pretty much admits that he would have been better off with me,
       and he went so far as to say he kind of wishes he were 'more
       gay'.  I sent him a couple of books.  They still haven't heard
       anything on trial dates or even plea proposals.
       Sunday, Barrett took the boys to visit their grandparents
       (Dillon's parents).  They stayed until Monday.
       Tuesday morning, the boys got spanked.  Barrett woke them up,
       fed them, and told them to do a few chores, while he went and
       did grocery shopping.  These were like 'put clean sheets on your
       bed, take your dirty clothes to the utility room, put away your
       breakfast dishes,' and that was basically it.  When he got back,
       they were playing video games, and nothing had been done.  They
       did the chores naked, and with sore bottoms.  He did, however,
       take them to see A Wrinkle in Time Tuesday evening.
       Barrett had some school work he had to get finished, so that
       went on Wednesday and  Thursday, but he's now actually ahead of
       things and feeling pretty comfortable.  I'd invited him down
       here for as much of the week as he wanted to spend, but the boys
       seemed to have a good enough time just hanging out, and they're
       here now (and the boys still know to mind Barrett when they're
       driving).
       Barrett is going to visit his Dad, and some family, and might
       sleep over there tonight.  He's left Drake and Ed here, fully
       aware that I have permission to spank if it's needed, and
       they've heard enough to not want to test it.
       #Post#: 4438--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: db105 Date: March 16, 2018, 7:18 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I feel sorry for Dillon, but he needs to start making better
       decisions.  :-\
       I'm glad the kids are doing OK, and that you are helping them.
       #Post#: 4446--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: David M. Katz Date: March 17, 2018, 2:00 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I agree with Daniel and thanks for the update.
       #Post#: 4448--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: Jack Date: March 17, 2018, 2:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=371.msg4446#msg4446
       date=1521313250]
       I agree with Daniel and thanks for the update.
       [/quote]
       I feel for Dillon, because he was one of those weird kids.  You
       might have thought he was introverted - maybe he was.  I think
       what it really was is that comics and gaming have never really
       been girl things.  The few girls in our various groups were all
       married, as far as I can remember.  But when Gina showed
       interest in him, he was pretty well hooked.  Remember, however,
       that I've known Dillon as long as I ran the comic shop, so since
       he was 12.  When I met Gina, she was already pregnant with her
       youngest child of her first marriage, and we were never as close
       as Dillon and I were.  I liked her, but I loved Dillon.  It does
       make me a bit biased.
       You're welcome for the update, and I'd give more, but even
       though Barrett and I talk at least a couple of times a week, and
       I check with Drake and Ed at least weekly, there's just not
       really much going on to tell.
       #Post#: 6218--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
       By: Jack Date: June 5, 2018, 3:23 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I was shocked to see that I hadn't updated this since March.  A
       lot has happened, so let's see what I can do...
       I guess it's most important to start with the kids, but I think
       I need to deal with the adults first, so the kids will make more
       sense.
       Dillon has been out of jail for about a month now.  He finally
       got a lawyer, who was able to get the domestic abuse (basically
       the fight between him and Gina) dropped to a misdemeanor, which
       gave Dillon two misdemeanors.  The penalty for misdemeanor
       assault is apparently up to 90 days, which Dillon had already
       served.  He is having to do community service and some type of
       educational course on the domestic abuse/fight, along with AA,
       and he has to pay court costs, but he basically got off very
       luck.  However, he was given a restraining order to keep him
       away from the kids without supervision until certain conditions
       could be met (I don't know all the details), so he's been living
       with his parents.
       There is some question about Gina's release.  She is supposed to
       be doing six months in jail total, but she will be on probation
       for several years when she's released.
       At this point, there are questions about who'll get custody of
       the boys, because both parents have been found guilty (pleaded
       guilty, actually) to domestic assault.  I think that's going to
       work out okay - Barrett says CPS has come by and talked to him
       and the boys.  Whatever else has been going on, I don't think
       there's any question about either parent having abused any of
       the kids.
       Like my college kids, Barrett has been out of school for nearly
       3 weeks now (I think since 13 May), and his little brothers were
       released a week before mine (on 25 May).  I've talked to Barrett
       several times since he finished school, and that time when his
       brothers were still attending was precious to him.  He's hoping
       to graduate next year if things work out financially.  Despite
       the lack of any graduation, I put a little extra money into his
       account and told him to go get a massage, then take a friend out
       to eat someplace nice, then see a movie.
       Of course he protested.
       "Barrett, I can't believe how rude you are."
       "Uncle Jack, you don't have to keep giving me money.  I'm fine."
       "I'm not talking about the money.  I'm talking about you making
       me get out of school, then drive all the way up there just to
       spank your butt for disobeying."
       He was actually laughing to hard to argue with me, and he did
       give in.
       The little guys had a good weekend when they got out of school.
       Then Barrett made them help with some serious housework.  He
       ended up having them both remove their pants while he fetched
       the Tailblazer, but it didn't require more than that to get them
       going.  They got their room in the condition he wanted (while he
       did their bathroom and the kitchen) and he rewarded them with a
       trip to see Solo and a stop at some local burger place they all
       love.
       Which isn't to say he hasn't spanked them since my last report.
       My understanding is that Ed got a few more than Drake did, but
       Ed only had one session with the Tailblazer (for riding his bike
       to a friend's house after being specifically told not to).  The
       others (and Barrett wasn't positive, but he thought two or maybe
       three) were for basic stuff like not paying attention or
       following up (he remembered giving one for playing video games
       when he'd been grounded from it for the day, and one for leaving
       dishes in his room when he'd been specifically told not to take
       any in there).
       Drake did a better job at avoiding going too far, but he did
       spend a fair amount of time in the corner or not being allowed
       to play video games.  It sounds like he had a number of minor
       curfew violations, like he spent a lot of time dragging his feet
       instead of just doing his work, and a lot of time harassing his
       little brother.  Barrett was sure Drake only got two spankings
       between their Spring Break visit here and the first week of May
       - one was for a major curfew violation and the other lying about
       doing chores so he could play video games.  Both were with the
       Tailblazer.
       The last time he's had to spank either of them (last I heard, at
       least) was the second week of May.  Barrett was trying to study
       for finals, and the two little guys were apparently trying to be
       as annoying as possible.  They were supposed to be playing video
       games together, but Drake was trash talking his little brother,
       and Ed had already been called down for hitting Drake and for
       messing with Drake's control.  There was a few minutes of quiet,
       and it sounds like Barrett was just getting into his studying,
       when Drake unplugged Ed's controller, and Ed hit him, and it
       broke out in screaming and name calling and rolling around on
       the floor.
       Both boys ended up undressed to take a turn over their brother's
       lap, and they both got a session with the Tailblazer.  After
       that, he bent them both over the back of the couch, with their
       noses to the wall.  After about 10 minutes, Ed was allowed to go
       get his bath and get in bed, and then Drake was allowed the
       same.
       You can imagine that finishing school was a huge relief for him,
       and it was even more of a relief when he pulled a... basically a
       3.75 (I want to say 3.78-something, but I don't feel like adding
       it all up).  Basically, he did 14 hours (4 regular classes, a
       gym class, and a lab) and pulled A's in everything, except a B
       in one of the classes.
       Anyway, after a couple of days off and getting things cleaned,
       Barrett took the boys to visit Dillon's parents.  Since Dillon
       isn't supposed to be with them alone, he came down to their
       trailer.  He's been working to get the paperwork issues
       straightened out, and get the classes he has to take arranged,
       and he'll be able to move back in.
       Barrett is supposed to pick the boys up tomorrow from their
       grandparents, they'll spend a night at home, and they're going
       to be down here Thursday for several days.  Barrett will be
       visiting with us here and with his dad, and they're planning to
       stay about a week.
       Dillon has called me a few times since his release.  He needs to
       find a job, so he can pay his fees.  He's been doing some
       community service.  I'm not sure if he wants to come down here
       just to visit, but I kind of feel like he's lost - doesn't know
       what to do - and wants to talk over his options with someone.
       I'm pretty sure he knows that I love him, but also that I'll be
       honest.
       Oh, one thing I nearly forget - while it sounds like the boys
       got a number of spankings this past few months while Barrett was
       in charge, it also sounds like their grades at school improved a
       lot.  Amazing what having someone make you do your work and keep
       to a schedule can do to help  you learn.
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