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#Post#: 3375--------------------------------------------------
Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Jack Date: February 1, 2018, 5:09 pm
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Sometimes it seems like troubles just keep rolling on.
I spoke once before about Barrett Rawlings. I've known him his
entire life, and I'll quote the post about how I know him in a
minute. I want to start by talking about his step-father.
Dillon Simmons was one of the best friends I've ever had at one
point in our lives, and we were erotically involved together for
a while after Cathy and I divorced. I've known him since he was
only thirteen, while he was still in middle school. I actually
posted a story about one of our early interactions here -
HTML http://www.bransomtx.com/dillonmatt.html
Dillon was socially awkward, not at all outgoing, and a real
geek. He was also into Palladium gaming systems, especially
Rifts. In the fall of 1994, both of my regular gaming groups
had come apart a bit, partially because of Magic: the Gathering,
then my Magic group had flayed a bit as well. I wanted to do
some role playing again. Instead of trying to put one of the
old groups together, I cherry picked from both of my old groups
and added a few new people as well. Since we were playing
Rifts, I included Dillon in the new group.
Dillon turned 18 that fall. That winter, when he he was out of
school (he was a senior at that point) for Christmas break, he
started hanging out with me and Stevie. Steve was with his mom
part of the vacation, but Dillon was with me almost every day -
from working at the store to finishing Christmas shopping. A
lot of the time was just watching movies, or even sitting
around, talking or reading. Dillon had a great relationship
with his father, and he wasn't shy about physical contact -
whether it was wrestling or cuddling. There was one real cold
night the two of us ended up in front of the fireplace, on a
loveseat, under a comforter, and a some soft, slow wrestling
occurred that some might have called petting.
Cathy cooled things off a bit, but I still loved Dillon, and we
were best friends.
Dillon turned 21 in the fall of '97, about the same time Barry
was sleeping through the night, and I left her. My master
bedroom had a small sitting area, and Dillon and I would
sometimes watch TV in there. One night, he and I shared a wine
cooler or two, and I told him that Cathy and I were both better
off, but that I wasn't just lonely, but was starved for skin
contact. It ended with us stripping to our underpants and
having a long, thorough makeout session that ended with both of
us coming in our briefs.
That was a Friday. I didn't see Dillon on Saturday, but he came
over Sunday. Remember he was 21, but he told me the most he'd
ever done with anyone before was that he and Matt had jerked off
a couple of times. We spent the day together, but that evening,
we were back in our room, and he learned how to give and receive
oral sex.
Dillon was shy, lonely, and h orny, and he loved me, but he
wasn't actually gay. Our relationship was tight, but not
frequent, until about a year later when he found a girl who was
interested in him. He and I remained close friends, but
sexually - I got tossed aside like a dirty rag. She didn't last
two long, but it had opened the can of worms, and brought us to
another problem.
This was originally written in July 2009. I thought I'd refer
to it often, but it never really came up again. That's because
there was a lot of things I hadn't realized or put together.
For now
Quote
[font=arial black]"I’ve known Barrett pretty much all his life -
literally, since his mom was pregnant with him when I first met
her, which was in late 1994. Gina already had two daughters, who
were about 4 and 5 years older than Barrett.
Gina, Barrett’s mom, was part of the role-playing group in which
I became involved at that time. She’d actually met his dad,
Clay, through role-playing, but Clay had gradually moved out of
it. Still, Gina was big into gaming and she became a long-term
regular in the games I organized.
That wasn’t a huge problem at first. It was just me and Steve,
and he was at his mom’s most every other weekend, so I was free
to go to Gina’s. Later, when I was married, we started to trade
houses. Cathy had no trouble with me taking off once in a while,
and she loved playing hostess (she didn’t game, but she’d often
sit in on our sessions as an observer, and would sometimes go to
Gina’s house with me).
Gina and Clay divorced in early ‘00. She married another of our
active gamers the same year-- Dillon, who was my old friend whom
I’d known since he was 12, married her. I (and several other
people in our group) think they were having an affair before
that, but we don’t know for sure, and if Clay knew about it,
he’d never told. Anyway, during our gaming sessions together, I
would sometimes take Caleb over to Gina’s, or Gina would bring
Barrett over to our house, and the two of them became friends.
In ‘02, Dillon got his dream job working for a video-game
development company and they had to move to Dallas. They lived
there for about six years, before he reached the point where he
could work at home, and then they moved back to Bransom.
Clay was pretty strict with the boy. I didn’t see him with the
girls as much, but I know that he spoiled them a bit (and Gina
picked up that slack and spoiled Barrett). Clay started spanking
a little younger than I would have, but not a lot younger. At
first, I thought he was WAY too harsh, but I found out I’d made
a small mistake. Talking to him, I thought he spanked way too
often and for minor things. It was after a while that I found
out that what I call a few smacks or swats, he calls a spanking,
as well as what I call a spanking. Once that bit of confusion
was clarified, we actually agreed with each other.
Once Dillon was his step-dad, he got off pretty easy. Dillon did
spank, but not as often as Clay did (or I would). Dillon knew my
interest in spanking and talked to me a bit about how he
punished Barrett (he actually asked my advice a couple of times
as the boy grew older). On a regular basis, Dillon used a wooden
spoon (which his mother had used on him) on the boys briefs.
Once or twice, he spanked bare (and I think that Barrett got the
belt once or twice as he reached his teens). Barrett grew up
around comics and role-playing games like my kids and knows
about them, though he’s not hugely into them. He’s been more
into the CCGs (collectible-card games) including Pokemon,
Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Magic: the Gathering, which gives him a common
point with several of my kids (and me).
Barrett goes to school at Kearns (though he’s starting high
school this fall), and they don’t live real close, so he’s not
real good friends with my kids, except Caleb and Bobby, whom
he’s known for a long time. Still, he’s come over a few times.
More important, the younger of his sister’s, Brenda is going to
be starting college this year. Dillon and Gina are taking her to
find an apartment and are planning to be out of town for several
days. Barrett, apparently feeling that being cooped up with his
parents and sister looking for an apartment would be akin to
torture, asked if he couldn’t stay with me instead. They’re
bringing him over Sunday evening, 2 August. Now, I tease Dillon
and Barrett both that he doesn’t get spanked a lot, but he’s
really a pretty good kid. He knows that staying with me means
risking a spanking, but I don’t think he’s going to actually
earn one."[/font]
I really liked Dillon's parents, but I always knew they were a
bit red-necked in some ways. Dillon had some of those traits,
but I guess he didn't show them that much around me. I think
the same can be said for Gina - red-necked, but mostly covered.
The thing is, once they were married, those things seem to have
come out more.
When I wrote this, Barrett was already 14, and had just finished
8th grade, so he was honestly mostly outside of spanking range
anyway, so I hadn't really expected him to show up a ton, though
I had hoped for it. On the other hand, he had an infant brother
at that point - not anyone who'd be showing up on the Spankorama
in the immediate future, but hope.
I don't know exactly what went on, and what I do know is
neither good nor happy. Let's just say that Dillon didn't keep
his dream job, and that Dillon and Gina separated for a while.
They did have another child together in '00, but they've also
had a lot of troubles. It seems the two of them are alcoholic
and co-dependent. They ended up moving to Oklahoma to be with
Dillon's family, who'd inherited some land there.
As much as I once loved Dillon, and I liked Gina as a fellow
gamer, but I didn't like the two of them together, even though
they did love each other. They just weren't good for each
other, though I sometimes think they're the only ones who don't
see that.
So, Barrett called me this week. I have talked to him a few
times over the years. His father still lives around here, and
he did grow up as close friends with some of my boys, so he'd
drop by to visit when he was spending time with his dad. I kind
of have a loose idea of a lot of what's gone on. He graduated
in '13, and he's been trying to go to college, but money has
been tight, so he's not always been able to be full time, and
he's had to care for Drake and Ed at times, which hasn't helped.
When his parents have money, they help him out, but times
haven't always been flush.
Last weekend, Dillon and Gina were at a party together, and the
drinks were flowing. Apparently some guy was hitting on Gina,
and Dillon thought maybe she was flirting back, bad feelings
flow, fight starts, police are involved, and a cop gets hit.
Apparently both of them are being held on felonies, and no one
has the money to bail them out.
Barrett did not call me for that.
No, he decided he needed to drop out of school, so he'll be able
to work and care for his little brothers, while keeping a roof
over their head and feeding them. He called me because he'd
hoped to come down here, get a job for me, and get an apartment
from me, so he can pay off the deposits as he goes.
I told him no.
Barrett is not someone that I consider family, and I barely know
his little brothers, but I had the privilege of seeing him
spanked, seeing his freshly spanked bare bottom, and actually
spanking him. He was friends with some of my kids, and his mom
was a role playing friend for years. More than that, I
legitimately loved his step-father at one point.
His parents have a double-wide trailer. The boys are going to
stay there. I'm going to give Barrett enough money for the rent
and utilties. His mom has some money in the bank, and he can
get to that via debit card, so they should be okay on food and
incidentals for a while. He's going to finish this semester and
if nothing is worked out with his parents by then, I'll let them
move down here, and he can work for me for the summer, and we'll
figure something out.
As for Dillon and Gina - I just don't know right now. I always
loved Dillon's mom, so I might decide to talk to her and see
what's what. I will probably ask Richard to get someone from
his firm to at least call up there and see if they can get a
general idea of what's going on. More than that - we'll see.
#Post#: 3389--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: db105 Date: February 2, 2018, 4:43 am
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What heartbreaking stories sometimes happen to people you know,
Jack. Poor kids. What about Clay? Could he help?
Even if he isn't related to the youngest kids he is still
Barrett's father. And what abouy Dillon's family in Oklahoma?
It's very generous of you to help, though. You are like a small
NGO. ;)
#Post#: 3390--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: db105 Date: February 2, 2018, 4:45 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=371.msg3375#msg3375
date=1517526551]
Barrett is not someone that I consider family, and I barely know
his little brothers, but I had the privilege of seeing him
spanked, seeing his freshly spanked bare bottom, and actually
spanking him. He was friends with some of my kids, and his mom
was a role playing friend for years. More than that, I
legitimately loved his step-father at one point.
[/quote]
And I have to ask: any chance you'll share some details about
any of that? Or maybe you already have, I don't have the
recovered archives from the old forum here.
#Post#: 3399--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: kalico Date: February 2, 2018, 10:24 am
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Aww hugs jack...
I know it brought up allot of memories but I think you did the
right thing and i hope it all works out....
I agree that they might be great people separately but together
they sound kinda toxic....
Hugs kal
#Post#: 3404--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Jack Date: February 2, 2018, 2:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=db105 link=topic=371.msg3389#msg3389
date=1517568208]
What heartbreaking stories sometimes happen to people you know,
Jack. Poor kids.
It's very generous of you to help, though. You are like a small
NGO. ;)
[/quote]
I don't know what an NGO is, but thank you, I think.
The honest truth is that I can, so I do.
The honest truth is that yes, some heartbreaking stories do
occur. That used to bother me, until I realized that, with many
of the people, those are the reasons I know them. If Ryan or
Daniel, or the Colter or Marsh kids hadn't had heartbreaking
stories, they would never have come into my life.
[quote author=db105 link=topic=371.msg3389#msg3389
date=1517568208]
What about Clay? Could he help? Even if he isn't related to the
youngest kids he is still Barrett's father. And what abouy
Dillon's family in Oklahoma?[/quote]
The honest truth is, Barrett needed some stability. He needed
to be sure he could take care of things, and that meant I had to
step up then if I was going to do it.
He is coming down here this evening. I don't know Drake or Ed
very well, so I want to talk with them, and with them and
Barrett, to make sure everyone's on the same page. Barrett will
meet with Clay while they're here (possibly with me there).
Clay also started a new family, and he has two minor daughters.
That's the reason he hasn't been able to do more to help
Barrett's college career. As for Dillon's parents, they're
retired and on limited income. They can help some, but not a
lot.
[hr][quote author=db105 link=topic=371.msg3390#msg3390
date=1517568340]
[quote author=Jack link=topic=371.msg3375#msg3375
date=1517526551]
Barrett is not someone that I consider family, and I barely know
his little brothers, but I had the privilege of seeing him
spanked, seeing his freshly spanked bare bottom, and actually
spanking him. He was friends with some of my kids, and his mom
was a role playing friend for years. More than that, I
legitimately loved his step-father at one point.
[/quote]
And I have to ask: any chance you'll share some details about
any of that? Or maybe you already have, I don't have the
recovered archives from the old forum here.
[/quote]
I thought some of them were shared on the old forum, but they
don't seem to show up on Leti's notes, so I could be mistaken
(or I could have misspelled the last name - unfortunately,
Barrett Seeley makes it hard to search for the other.
I mentioned in the quote that Barrett was good friends with Cal
and Bobby. Cal was barely over a year older than Barrett (I
think), and the two of them were very close for a while. I
remember one time, I think it would have been summer or early
fall of 99, that the two of them got in trouble.
Barrett would have only been four, but Clay did spank younger
than I did, though what Barrett got would have barely reached
the level of what I consider actual spankings. Also, i had
started spanking Caleb younger than I started spanking pretty
much any of my other boys, both because he was here at such a
young age, and because he wanted to be treated 'like the big
boys'. I 'spanked him' over my knee, and with a formal baring,
but I normally used a plastic flyswatter (ton of sting for a
little guy, but basically no thud), and I made it slow, but
without many smacks.
I don't remember what they'd been doing exactly - bothering
their big brothers (well, Cal's big brothers) I think, until
they got sent to their room, and then they were caught sneaking
back out.
What I really remember is that both boys were wearing briefs and
tees - Batman for Barrett and Superman for Cal. The two of
them were crying and begging as I picked up the flyswatter and
marched them back to Cal's room. They knew what was coming.
As soon as the briefs passed their upper thighs, they hit their
ankles. As I lifted Cal, his fell off. Barrrett's staid on a
bit longer, but he managed to kick them off during the short
spanking. I gave enough spanks to have them both crying hard
and loud, even though their little bottoms were barely even pink
(their upper checks were a much darker red). I then put them to
bed.
I came back about 15 minutes later to see how they were. Their
briefs were still on the floor, and they'd fallen asleep, arms
wrapped around each other. It was so cute. I tucked them in
and let them sleep.
Gina left Barrett with us, and picked him up the next morning.
#Post#: 3425--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Jack Date: February 3, 2018, 5:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Barrett and the boys did arrive yesterday evening. I'm not
going to say everything was well - apparently the boys didn't
want to make the trip, and Barrett ended up 'pulling the car
over' and spanking their bottoms. He made them lay bare across
the back seat, side by side, while he leaned between the front
seats, put his left forearm across the small of their backs, and
used his hand.
That's apparently the second spanking he's given them this week.
He says their mom and Dillon aren't very strict or consistent
with them, and he ends up doing a lot of the discipline. One of
the reasons I asked them to come down this weekend is that I
think the three of them need someone to sit down and help them
formalize and structure expectations. Based on what Barrett has
told me, it sounds like a lot of their relationship is made up
as they go.
On the flip side, once the boys got here, they settled in
quickly. Boys that age tend to make friends easily. We had
crock pot luck for dinner - beef ragout, spaghetti, chicken and
dumplings, chili, I'm forgetting something, and beef stew. We
made biscuits and corn bread, and had egg noodles and mashed
potatoes - everyone was happy. And full. We had a double
feature of Kung Fu Panda and Megamind, with some cartoons
before, between, and after. Not all the kids watched
everything, and the game room got a good work out as well.
It was fun, and Drake and Ed made a lot of friends.
I'm glad I made Barrett come down here. He's tensed out right
now.
About 5:30 he texted me to say they were in Texas and would be
here before 7. I texted back 'texting while driving? - do I
need to spank you when you get here?' His response was that
they were at a rest area - he even sent me a pic of the boys
washing their hands.
I thought it was interesting that he didn't tell me he was a
grown up, or that I wasn't his dad.
When he got here, after things settled down, he asked, 'you
wouldn't really whup me would you?'
I pointed out that he was an adult, and if I spanked him without
his permission, he could call the police on me for assault.
His response? "I wouldn't do that."
I think he really is tensed out right now and under a lot of
pressure, and part of him is wishing that someone - probably me
or his dad - would treat him like a little kid and run things
for him, even if it meant he did get a sore butt.
Something that I've noticed after this many foster kids, though
I realize I'd seen it often before I started noticing it, is how
some kids act when they're upset or lonely. Last night, Barrett
was frequently just inside my personal space or bumping against
me. I've noticed a lot of boys do things like that when they're
uncomfortable or want reassurance or support. As things settled
down, I had him use my shower (which he loves), then I rubbed
his back and we talked a bit, before he soaked into the hot tub
for a while. After that, I literally tucked him in to bed, then
sat with him for a while, and we talked until he went to sleep.
The little guys did fine. They're upset and worried about their
parents, but they also know Barrett's going to take care of
them, and they were able to relax last night. I'd planned to
put them into the guest room next to Barrett, but they ended up
sleeping with the other kids - Ed's in C&C's bedroom, and Drake
is crashed out in the fort.
#Post#: 3430--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: db105 Date: February 3, 2018, 9:04 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It's funny how you sometimes tease young adults threatening a
spanking. ;D Although I don't foresee you spanking Barrett.
Anyway, I'm not surprised he's tense, considering the situation.
I wonder if he would have handled the kids' misbehavior during
the car trip differently if he had been more relaxed. I'm happy
they all had a good time and could relax a bit.
#Post#: 3431--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Jack Date: February 3, 2018, 9:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=db105 link=topic=371.msg3430#msg3430
date=1517670277]
It's funny how you sometimes tease young adults threatening a
spanking. ;D Although I don't foresee you spanking
Barrett.[/quote]
As I've said elsewhere - a LOT of spanking depends on the
relationship between the adult and child (I guess that's even
true between two adults). If a relationship is good, and the
spanking was fair and deserved, a boy will often see it as a
positive thing - a bonding thing. It's also something private,
so a bit of teasing between an adult and a young adult can be a
way of reminding the other about that bond, while also
acknowledging that he's not a boy anymore.
And I don't see myself spanking Barrett - maybe if he mistreats
his little brother or misspends the funds I give, but I just
don't see him doing those things, so I still don't see myself
spanking him.
[quote author=db105 link=topic=371.msg3430#msg3430
date=1517670277]
Anyway, I'm not surprised he's tense, considering the situation.
I wonder if he would have handled the kids' misbehavior during
the car trip differently if he had been more relaxed. I'm happy
they all had a good time and could relax a bit.[/quote]
I think you're 100% right here. I think he's very tense, and
they don't recognize that enough to respect it. They did
directly disobey him, but I hope getting to relax, visit his
dad, and let them play elsewhere will help him calm down a bit
and get a fresh grip.
#Post#: 3435--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Zyngaru Date: February 3, 2018, 11:02 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I can also see, when Barrett is tense, little things the boys do
will seem larger than they are. The boys will seem louder, more
rambunctious, more combative. When you are relaxed, some of
that is just boys being boys, but being tense makes it seem
worse than it really is.
Just traveling with young boys can be tense in itself. "Are we
there yet?" "How much farther?" "Are we there yet?" "You said
in just a few more miles." "It's been a few more miles and we
ain't there?" "How much farther?" "Are we there yet?"
Under normal conditions a 22 year old wouldn't be caring for a
10 year old. 22 year olds just aren't prepared for it and don't
have the experience. Now Barrett is caring for a 10 year old
and a seven year old. They will take up most of his life. It
is also different when caring for brothers than sons. The boys
look at Barrett as a big brother not a dad. So they will behave
differently towards him.
I am glad you were able to talk with Barrett and hopefully the
boys as well. This is a new dynamic for all three of them.
They need to set some parameters and they need to be able to see
the others perspective. That can only be achieved through
talking it out openly and honestly.
Jack, I know you have already thought of these things and many
more and have helped them through some of it.
#Post#: 3470--------------------------------------------------
Re: Barrett Rawlings (22), Drake (10) and Ed (7)
By: Jack Date: February 4, 2018, 5:38 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Barrett and his little brothers headed home this afternoon, not
long after lunch. They called a few minutes ago to let me know
they arrived home safely (and Barrett says the boys were much
better behaved on the way back).
While it was a short visit, Barrett and I did get a number of
things done.
1) Set up a bank account for him, which I can easily access.
2) Barrett got to visit his dad, which did help him a lot. His
dad does help with college, but he has his own new family, so
he's not able to do a ton. On the other hand, the two of them
did do some maintenance on Barrett's car, and I think they had a
good time.
3) Barrett and I sat down and talked together, then we sat down
with the boys. Gina and Dillon aren't especially consistent,
and I feel that always causes a problem for boys exposed to it.
I supervised Barrett going over his expectations with Drake and
Ed, and I made him allow them to have feedback. Mostly it came
down to 'do what you know you're supposed to, when you're
supposed to do it', and 'when you're told to stop wrestling
around in the back seat and kicking the seat back, stop'.
The three of us talked about the entire situation, why their
parents can't get out right now, and what's happening about it.
Barrett and I explained what Barrett's going to have to do, why
he's in charge, and why they need to follow the rules and obey
(both in this specific case, and why it's always a good idea).
We talked about a few general things, and we let the little guys
air their thoughts and opinions, but I think those things were
the main thrust. Just having a chance to talk things out seemed
to make everyone feel better.
[hr]
I did hear from Dillon's mom this weekend. I did like her a
lot, when Dillon and I were friends, and I was as close with her
in some ways as I was with Mary (my longest term step-mom).
She's done some investigation on a few things. She knows I
don't want to bail Gina and Dee out, because it would just be
throwing money away, and there's a huge question if they'd ever
be able to repay me. They own one of their cars and their
trailer, so she suggested them signing those over to me as
collateral, and me actually putting up cash bond, which would
be refunded to me (them) as long as they appear for their court
dates.
After I found out about this, Richard was able to have someone
call up to Oklahoma, and we were able to find some information.
Felony charges were filed against both of them (Dillon and
Gina), but they're doing research before deciding with what they
actually want to proceed.
They can't afford a lawyer right now, and one's not yet been
appointed for either of them. Dillon's parents are on fixed
income, and his dad's been having health problems, so there's
not a lot of extra money, and they want to be sure where it can
be best used before they do anything.
[hr]
And that's about all I know for now. I did give Barrett some
extra money to give his parents, so they can get things they
need to get along. I've barely seen them in years, but they
used to be close friends, so I figure I can at least do that.
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