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#Post#: 3113--------------------------------------------------
22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Jack Date: January 22, 2018, 4:43 am
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I got back from the hospital on 12 Jan. On the health front,
except having some trouble adjusting to my new meds, things have
been going well. With the kids on the other hand...
Looking back at the Spanking Report, you'll find
Monday (1/15) Curtis, Connor, and Zeke
Tuesday (1/16) Ethan Guthrey
Wednesday - clear
Thursday (1/18) Devon
Friday (1/19) Ennis
Saturday (1/20) Liam
Dad's had a lot of practice here recently. Still, it's good to
see that several of my boys - especially Colt and the Marsh boys
and Van - have really been staying on top of things lately. Of
course, Kenny has two strikes and a WO, and Colt has two
strikes, so they're not that safe themselves, but at least
they've not been in any majjor trouble lately.
Van's had a bit of an attitude problem recently. I haven't said
much to him about it, but we had a talk yesterday, because he
snapped at Connor, when Connor wanted to play with the bunnies.
I didn't say much, because Van did an incredible job over the
holidays, aseptically with that charity concert, and he's stayed
on top of his online courses, as well as things at school, and
now he has his driver's ed for another 5 weeks. He brings it on
himself, and he has to learn to deal with it, but it's
understandable, and I'm going to give him some break. I'll just
try to let him know if he's not handling things well.
Van reminded me of last year, when he through a fit about going
to school, and he ended up going over my lap for a long session
with the hair brush, and he asked if I'd do that again. I told
him I honestly didn't know. I don't want to say I'll never do
something - I've spanked older 'boys' than him, and I believe it
can be used in a beneficial way, even on teens and young adults.
On the other hand, I see how hard he's working and what a good
job he's doing, and I want him to understand that I respect that
and I want to acknowledge it.
He then pushed me over to the couch and made me sit down, so he
could curl up next to me and climb partially on my lap (as hard
as it is to even type these words, we're nearly the same height
now). Once he managed to get his arms around me, he said, "I
just wanted to know if I was still your little guy."
I brushed his bangs back and kissed his forehead.
"I hate to break it to you, honey, but you will always be my
little guy. One day, long after the last time I've spanked you,
when you not only have your own kids, but when you're trying to
decide they're too old for spanking to do more help or harm, of
if there's not some other way to do things, you'll still be my
baby boy."
We just sat there a while after that, but I guess it was what he
wanted to hear.
#Post#: 3115--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Zyngaru Date: January 22, 2018, 9:35 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=347.msg3113#msg3113
date=1516617784]
He then pushed me over to the couch and made me sit down, so he
could curl up next to me and climb partially on my lap (as hard
as it is to even type these words, we're nearly the same height
now). Once he managed to get his arms around me, he said, "I
just wanted to know if I was still your little guy."
I brushed his bangs back and kissed his forehead.
"I hate to break it to you, honey, but you will always be my
little guy. One day, long after the last time I've spanked you,
when you not only have your own kids, but when you're trying to
decide they're too old for spanking to do more help or harm, of
if there's not some other way to do things, you'll still be my
baby boy."
We just sat there a while after that, but I guess it was what he
wanted to hear.
[/quote]
Most boys won't leave themselves as vulnerable as this, and say
it right out. Your relationship with Van is so special in that
he did speak his heart openly with you. Yes he wants to grow up
and be a man. But he also wants to always be your "Little Guy."
It was awesome that you took the time to let him know he will
always be your "Baby Boy."
I do believe that reassurance that they are still wanted and
still are loved as they were when little, is why some teenaged
boys "act out." They don't necessarily want to be spanked, but
they want that reassurance of their "Little Guy" status.
Those last few lines in your report of assuring Van that he is
and always will be your little guy touched my heart. Thanks for
sharing that moment.
#Post#: 3116--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: kalico Date: January 22, 2018, 10:01 am
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Aww that last bit tears at the heart strings.... I'm happy you
reassured your baby boy that he will always be just that....
Thanks for sharing jack
Hugs kal
#Post#: 3133--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: David M. Katz Date: January 22, 2018, 9:30 pm
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It is good he asked for (and got)reassurance. Do you think Van
would have possibly pushed until he got some of the attention
(even if negative) he was seeking?
How long was Van the "baby" before some of the younger brothers
came along?
#Post#: 3142--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: db105 Date: January 23, 2018, 3:34 am
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Aww, that's adorable :)
#Post#: 3144--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Jack Date: January 23, 2018, 6:17 am
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[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=347.msg3133#msg3133
date=1516678226]
It is good he asked for (and got)reassurance. Do you think Van
would have possibly pushed until he got some of the attention
(even if negative) he was seeking?[/quote]
No, Van has been doing a really great job for a while now, and
he knows it. I think he was just a little stressed right now,
while he's doing the driver's ed on top of everything else, and
not having time for as much physical exertion as he's used to,
and he wanted a little reassurance and hugging.
[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=347.msg3133#msg3133
date=1516678226]
How long was Van the "baby" before some of the younger brothers
came along?
[/quote]
Van moved in about six weeks before he turned six, which was
almost a decade ago. Kenny's lived with us six years and about
four months. I think Van would have been the baby for about
three years and 8 months. Neither Van nor Kenny seemed as upset
over losing the spot as Bryce did, but Bryce had Barry and the
twins as his big brothers, and I think more of his identity was
tied up as the baby because of how and when he'd come into the
family.
#Post#: 3148--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Leti Date: January 23, 2018, 6:49 am
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Aw hugs Van, it is good that he got reassurance and hugs from
dad.
Thanks for sharing Jack!
Van was 9 when Kenny and his brothers arrived, this is the first
story where they are all together. They are all very cute :)
HTML http://www.bransomtx.com/newkids.html
#Post#: 3156--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Journey Date: January 23, 2018, 10:01 am
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Aww, that's so sweet of Van. I love how affectionate your boys
are (even the teenagers!)
[quote author=Jack link=topic=347.msg3144#msg3144
date=1516709834]
[Neither Van nor Kenny seemed as upset over losing the spot as
Bryce did, but Bryce had Barry and the twins as his big
brothers, and I think more of his identity was tied up as the
baby because of how and when he'd come into the family.
[/quote]
Sorry, this confused me a bit. Why does it matter/What's the
significance of the fact that Barry and the twins were Bryce's
older brothers?
#Post#: 3162--------------------------------------------------
Re: 22 Jan 2018: Heck of a Week
By: Jack Date: January 23, 2018, 2:20 pm
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[quote author=Journey link=topic=347.msg3156#msg3156
date=1516723264]
Aww, that's so sweet of Van. I love how affectionate your boys
are (even the teenagers!)[/quote]
Most people who aren't affectionate are taught to be that way.
I teach my kids that it's more than just good to be open and
affectionate, and that it's okay both to give and receive. Some
of them lock up a bit at times (like in their teens), but most
of them are always at least a bit affectionate, even if they're
limited when we don't have privacy.
[quote author=Journey link=topic=347.msg3156#msg3156
date=1516723264]
[quote author=Jack link=topic=347.msg3144#msg3144
date=1516709834]
[Neither Van nor Kenny seemed as upset over losing the spot as
Bryce did, but Bryce had Barry and the twins as his big
brothers, and I think more of his identity was tied up as the
baby because of how and when he'd come into the family.
[/quote]
We knew Bryce before he moved in with us. He played baseball
with the twins, and he'd been here before. When he lost his
mom, he gained his brothers - he very much identified as our
family, and as the baby of the family. I'm not sure why it made
such a huge deal to him, but it seems like it did.
Sorry, this confused me a bit. Why does it matter/What's the
significance of the fact that Barry and the twins were Bryce's
older brothers?
[/quote]
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