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#Post#: 30469--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Eight
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:07 am
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The day didn’t exactly drag, but it felt weird. It took me a
while to realize that I’d been at school the past two days (at
least for a little bit), but that I had been to basically none
of my classes. Between that, and how much seemed to have
happened the last two or three days, I think I’d just been
feeling a little… disoriented maybe? Once I started getting
back into the familiar routine, things started settling around
me like a favorite jacket. Once that happened, it was much
easier to start really prioritizing the ‘to do’ list with at
least one eye on the real world.
After civics, I thought to start asking around. In
pre-calculus, I found a girl, Janet, who attended the
Episcoplian Church. She didn’t live close to me, but her friend
Kevin did. He had a license, and he was willing to give me a
ride to church Sunday morning. She also told me that some of
the boys around our age just wore polo shirts, but others wore
jackets and ties, so I’d be fine, as long as I wore good slacks
and a collared shirt.
By lunch, I felt like I’d pretty much settled back to normal,
except it felt like people were just more aware of me. I was
sure more people were saying hello to me, but it wasn’t anything
bad.
The biggest difference is when I got to the lunch room. John
was sitting in my regular spot, but a seat had been held for me
at the middle of the table, with Tanner on one side of me, Adam
on the other, and Walker directly across from me. I felt a bit
targeted, but I took my assigned place.
Over time, everyone had gotten used to my little lunch
eccentricities. I’d made a point of explaining that, yes, what
I did was fairly common, but no, I didn’t do it exactly the same
way as everyone else, any more than they ate their lunch the
exact same way as every Texan. For one thing, it’s not like I
can pick up matpakke paper at the local grocers around here.
I spread out my bread, then assembled my sandwiches; one with
cheese, chicken, and some sweet relish; one with lettuce,
cheese, and tomato, and one thick with butter and honey for
dessert. The last piece was a special treat, and I reached into
my bag for one of the carefully hoarded tubes of Mills Kaviar
that Hilde had sent me for Christmas. The Swedish Kalles that I
could get locally is okay, but nothing compares to the taste of
home.
When I finished eating, they were talking about their role
playing game. It was no big surprise really. Most of the
people at the table weren’t in drama, and most TV shows hadn’t
come back from their Christmas break yet, so new topics were in
somewhat short supply.
After a few minutes, I excused myself to go get a coffee. Adam
came with me. We didn’t really feel the need to talk, and we
just walked along quietly. After getting our drinks, we sat
down, inside of course, since it was way too cold for Adam, and
even a bit chilly for me. After a few minutes of just enjoying
the drinks and each other, I told him that Ruth Landon had
called me, and what had been said.
By the time my conditioning class rolled around, I was ready to
go home. At least my last two classes are mostly fun. It was
too cold to send the class out, so Coach had us in the weight
room, but I asked him if I could run. He agreed, as long as I
promised to work on my 3200 meters. I didn’t have much choice,
so I agreed. He sent Blain out with me.
Blain showed me the right marks for that distance, then timed
me. I felt a bit sorry for him. Eight degrees is a bit chilly,
but I was wearing jogging pants, a sweatshirt, and a watch cap,
so I was plenty warm almost as soon as I started moving. On the
other hand, Blain just had to stand there while I ran.
I didn’t set any kind of record, but I hadn’t expected to. I
was used to running almost half that distance, so I wasn’t going
to do great at first. Blaine showed me my time, promised me I’d
done great at the halfway mark. He pretty much agreed with me
that I just needed to find my pace for this new distance, build
my endurance, and the speed would come.
Blain made me set an alarm to make sure I changed on time, then
he went inside. As soon as I caught my breath, I started again.
I wasn’t really trying for speed so much this time. I just let
my body catch the rhythm, and let the motion clear my mind.
Theater turned into a bit of a problem, simply because I had to
sit down and discuss my situation with Carrie.
I really liked her. Unlike all the other teachers, constantly
demanding they be called by this title or that, she was casual
with us, yet she kept her classroom under control by actually
earning our respect. She came closest to one of my teachers
from home.
Still, she was a teacher, and I was having to tell her I was
considering failing her class, which would happen if I didn’t
participate in the Spring Musical. Pappa always did tell me I
was a bit tight in the forehead.
Carrie listened to what I had to say and some of my plans. I
hadn’t expected her to… narc? on us, but I also hadn’t expected
her to actually offer support.
“Nothing that will break the school rules or hurt the musical or
the theater department of course, but outside of that, I’ll be
glad to help. Walker and I have already discussed this, and
I’ve always agreed that the school needed something like this.
We just never had a great idea how to do it.”
With that out of the way, she told me to ‘stop putting the cart
before the horse’, and see how my audition went before I worried
about anything else. I have to admit that made sense, so I
scheduled mine for right after Adam’s.
Carrie was letting us have the period to rehearse, while she was
putting together the technical crew. I snuck off to a quiet
corner and managed to finish my civics and English homework. I
was just deciding how much homework I had to do tonight to catch
up when the bell rang.
As soon as I got to my bike, I turned my phone on. I had four
messages waiting. Coach Hall had already arranged everything,
but needed me to call him on some details. Jim had talked to
someone, but it would be tomorrow before he heard anything back.
Officer Berg explained that, by the time he talked to his
sergeant, Coach Hall had already called them, but he said if I
needed anything else, to call him back. Dillon said he and
Linda were both having to work late and asked what I’d like for
takeout.
All right, so… Call Coach back when I get home, before starting
homework. Text thanks to Jim and Officer Berg. And Dee already
knew the answer - Genghis Grill, though it’s nice he asked. The
main question was whether I wanted Mongolian steak or chicken
pad Thai. All of which made me realize that I hadn’t spoken to
Emil since Sunday morning, which only seemed like it had been
ten years. I figured the time difference quickly and decided
to call him before I left for school in the morning.
Anything else? No - home, Coach, snack, texts, homework.
That’s enough to be getting on with for now.
#Post#: 30470--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Nine
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:13 am
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“Are you okay?” Adam asked as he came up behind me and gave my
shoulder a light squeeze.
I reached up and patted his hand.
“I’m fine, takk, I just…
“I dreamed of Oslofjorden last night, and I talked to Emil this
morning.”
He tilted his head in understanding.
“Olso… that’s the city you’re from?”
I nodded, ignoring that he chose not to address Emil.
“And a fjord… that’s kind of like a bay, right?”
I had to think about that one.
“I think so. It’s been two years since I had geology, so don’t
ask me the difference.”
He smiled.
“Feeling homesick?”
“Not… exactly. Have you ever been to your Gulf?”
“Well, it’s Mexico’s Gulf, not mine, but yeah - a couple of
times.”
“How far is it?”
“I dunno. Couple of hundred miles, and don’t ask me what that
is in kilometers. I think about six hours.”
“Would you believe that I could walk out of school, get on a
bus, and be at the promenade in maybe ten or fifteen minutes?”
“That’s like a riverwalk?”
I thought for a second.
“I don’t know a riverwalk. The promenade was along the fjord,
and it was beautiful. Emil liked to go down there and walk.
Sometimes they had music or comedy. They always had food. They
had kayaks…”
I smiled.
“What?”
“Emil so wanted to take a kayak trip, but I never could get good
at it, so we were stuck on small trips or led tours.
“But me,” I continued after a second, “I would sometimes go down
there by myself when I was stressed, maybe go to Talormade
Oslobukta for a donut and coffee. There was just something so…
so peaceful.”
It was cold enough that Dee had dropped me at school this
morning, and suddenly Adam shivered, so I quit talking and led
him inside.
“By the way, Dad told me about the vigil tomorrow night. It’s a
great idea.”
“Thank you.”
“And Mrs. Landon called me last night, too.”
I waited.
“She asked if I would be a pallbearer, so I guess I’ll be right
next to you.”
I didn’t know what to say, and we were quiet for a few minutes.
Finally he sighed.
“How was Emil?”
“Okay. He was doing maths homework. He always hated maths.”
I paused.
“I hadn’t talked to him since Sunday, before I went to your
house.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I told him pretty much everything.”
“What did he say?”
“That he’s sorry, and he wishes I was there, so he could hold
me.”
It was his turn to pause.
“You told him about us?”
I nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He was glad we could be there for each other.”
“He wasn’t jealous?”
“He’s with Håkon now. He has no right to be jealous.”
“But was he?”
I held my hand up with thumb and index finger maybe a centimeter
or two apart.
“A little bit, I think.”
The two of us stood there, quiet in a sea of students flowing
around us, the weight of much unsaid holding us still.
“I need to go to my locker,” Adam said, finally breaking the
quiet.
“Me too,” I admitted. “Think we’ll scandalize the school if we
hug right here.”
“I don’t care.”
It was just a guy hug, our clasped hands between us while we
bumped shoulders, and patted each other's backs, but it felt
good.
School actually went pretty well. The news Coach Hall had given
me yesterday, led me to eat quickly then go to the debate lab.
They were having a speech class, but they were apparently
practicing. Mr. Blair, the speech instructor invited me into
his office to talk. I explained my situation and tight deadline.
He offered to let me come by after school, but I had gym.
Instead, he gave me a small book that he said had a number of
rough ideas in it that might help, promised he’d check his
school email account that evening, and told me when he’d be
available the next day, if I needed help.
I was not looking forward to my martial arts class. My arse had
already been thoroughly chewed by Mr. Keegan, then by Linda. I
did not feel like adding a third time to it. Worse, it was
going to be my first time there knowing Jake wouldn’t be there.
It had grown colder through the day, and the idea of going home
and having a cup of hot soup sounded awesome.
I wasn’t ready to quit, and I felt sure that’s where not going
this afternoon would lead.
I caught up with Walker just past his locker and walked with
him to his car. We were quiet most of the ride, but he did tell
me that they’d cancelled their role playing game Saturday, since
there was no telling how everyone would feel or when they’d be
able to get together. Instead, they were going to watch movies
at his house, and he made sure to tell me I was welcome if I
wanted to come.
I thanked him for both the invitation and the ride, as he
dropped me off, and I went inside to change.
Coach Petersen was there as soon as I walked in the door.
“Could I speak to you, Sieger? In the office, please.”
More office. Åh, hvilken lykke!.
I followed.
“First of all, Sieger…”
“I’m sorry, Coach.”
He stopped and looked at me.
“For what?”
“For.. the fight?”
“Is that what you think this is about?”
I nodded.
“You think I called you in here to chew you out, because you
used the skills that I… well, that I’ve helped you develop at
least, to beat up four people who happened to be bigger than
you, just because they were assaulting two of your friends? Do
I have that story straight?”
I was starting to feel confused, but I nodded.
“Mr. Carlsen, I am totally against people using their skills
outside of the dojo to pick fights. That’s not what you did.
You used your skills for exactly the reason they were actually
created - to protect people.”
“But Coach, I provoked them.”
He looked at me.
“Now, I’ll admit that I’ve only heard these stories third hand
at this point, but, of your two friends, didn’t one have to see
a physical trainer because of his shoulder, and the other have
to see a doctor because of bruising to the abdomen?”
I nodded and wondered at his sources of information.
“And how did you provoke them?”
“I said some pretty bad stuff. I called them…”
“Sieger, there is nothing you could say to them that I won’t
only agree with, but probably be willing to say something worse.
This was four guys - two of them adults - picking on two
younger, smaller kids. Those are the worst type of scum. You.
Did. Not. Do. Anything. Wrong. Do you understand me?”
I nodded.
“Good, because I’m not going to listen to anyone who says
anything bad about you for what you did, and that includes you.”
I wish I knew why I’d started crying so easily lately. Coach
Petersen didn’t seem to notice, but then he handed me a towel.
“Here, I think you have something in your eye.”
“Tusen takk,” I replied as I took it.
“Now, why I actually called you in here. Chris, Coach Hall,
means well, but he sometimes presumes a little much. I love the
idea you had for the vigil, but Chris told me he told you that
you have to give a speech?”
I nodded.
“You don’t. You’re welcome to if you’d like, but…”
“I stopped by and talked to the speech instructor today. He
gave me a book to get started, and he’s going to try to help me
at lunch tomorrow.”
Coach Petersen nodded.
“Good. Well, let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Coach.”
“You’re welcome. Now, go get dressed and warm up real good.
You’re going to be sparring this evening, so I can check that
technique you used.”
#Post#: 30471--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:19 am
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Eddy offered to drive me home, which I certainly needed.
“I’m sorry about Jake,” he told me.
“Thank you.”
“You sound tired,” he commented.
“Beat,” I agreed.
“More like beat on. Catching Coach’s attention - even in a good
way - is usually not a great idea.”
“Du snakker rett fra leveren.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry… Uh, it means… damn straight?”
“Oh. All that for ‘damned straight’?”
“Actually it means ‘you’re talking from your liver.”
“Damned straight, huh?”
“Will you be there tomorrow night?” I asked.
“Yes. I’ve been telling everyone I could.”
“Thank you.”
He pulled into our driveway, and I offered him my fist for a
bump before climbing out of the car.
Linda and Dillon had already eaten, but they’d left a plate in
the oven for me, and I was more than ready for it. As soon as
I’d finished and cleaned up, I retired to my room. I had more
emails to answer, and a little more homework to do, but I had
something more important first.
When it happened, Pappa and I were almost the same height. I
was more athletic than him at that point, but he had, as Mamma
put it, ‘a little extra insulation.’ Because of that, when most
of their stuff had been put in storage, I kept some of his suits
and nicer clothes. With just a bit of digging through, I found
the black suit I’d recalled, and was pleased to find it fit
almost perfectly. It was a bit rumpled and creased from travel
and storage, so I set it aside. The shoes were in good
condition, but a bit dusty.
I found a nearby place that offered same day cleaning and had a
place that did shoe care and repair in the same strip mall.
Dillon promised to handle dropping them off and picking them up
for me.
I’d been meaning to get a haircut and kept putting it off. Now
I couldn’t find a place that could fit me in, unless I wanted to
patronize one of those fifteen dollar a cut places where you had
no idea who’d be doing your work. Instead, I looked online
until I found a decent hairstyle I could wear with my hair at
this length, and ordered a pomade to handle the styling.
With all that done, I turned to homework.
Homework done, most of my email answered, chores caught up, and
a long hot bath - I’d crawled in bed, almost ready to go to
sleep. Now, I sighed, gave up, and pulled my hand out from my
boxers.
What do you think of when you’re jerking off? That hot new
actor you like? The cute boy that sits near you in class, but
to whom you’ve never spoken? Maybe you have a favorite memory
you replay? Do you think about your old boyfriend? Or maybe
you think about the last boy you kissed and how good he looks
with just a towel wrapped around his waist? Or, do you think of
your old boyfriend and his new boyfriend, or the guy you really
like who just took his own life, or the guy who looks so good in
that towel and how disappointed he looked when you turned him
down?
Emil had made it very clear he wasn’t going to put his life on
hold while I was across the ocean, but he also made it clear he
loved me and wanted me to come home. What would happen to Håkon
if I was able to go home tomorrow? What would happen to Adam?
Did I really want something to happen with Adam? Jake’s own
parents apparently hadn’t wanted to know he was gay; did I
really owe his memory anything beyond love and respect?
I sighed again and rolled over tucking Yulbamse, my friendly
Christmas stuffy bear, under my arm. Two things were very clear
to me. First, Mamma always told me, ‘most of the time, you have
to make a decision, and not making one yourself just means it’s
made for you’. I’m pretty sure that definitely applied in this
case. The other is, whatever else I decided to do, this weekend
and what I was doing were about Jake and his memory, and I
couldn’t ignore those, but I couldn’t live my life around them
either.
I thought of getting up and putting on some music, but I cuddled
a bit deeper under the comforter, and sang quietly, “Sulla meg
litt, du mamma mi,
Skal du få snor på skjorta di, Vil du ha gule, vil du…”
The next day was horrible. It dragged, but seemed like I didn’t
have enough time to get things done. I’d emailed my speech to
Mr. Blair - the speech instructor last night. I stopped by his
office before school, and he gave it back to me, marked up, and
with instructions to make it sound ‘more like myself’, then come
back at lunch. I was trying to do that, while also trying to
get all the in class work done, so I wouldn’t have any homework.
At least in bio and maths, I had tests, and I finished them
fast enough to have some free time.
I rushed through lunch, so I could talk to Mr. Blair. He helped
me finalize the speech, then gave me a few notecards and helped
me break it down, so I wouldn’t get lost, but wouldn’t read it
either.
For once, I was thankful for all the tests on Fridays, because I
don’t think I would have been able to focus on lectures. After
I finished my history test, I sat, supposedly memorizing the
speech, but instead staring at Adam, and second guessing my
decisions from last night.
After the last bell finally rang, I waited at my locker for
Adam. He led me outside,and we quickly found his dad waiting
for us. He dropped us at my house, with Adam’s clothes.
“Thanks, Jim,” I told him.
“You’re welcome, Sieger. Adam, call when you want me to pick
you up.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
I think Adam and I knew we were in a delicate balance. It’s
hard to describe, but I know I was very comfortable around him,
but also pretty nervous. I didn’t ask if he understood that,
but he seemed to be acting much the way I was feeling.
I wanted to shave, so I let Adam use the shower first. We both
stripped down to our boxers in my room, then went into the
bathroom. Even though I’d seen him naked before, I very
carefully avoided looking as he got into the shower. Once I was
through, I slid out of my boxers, wrapped a clean towel around
my waist, and went back to my room to pick out my clothes for
the evening, then waited for him. When Adam called, I went back
to the bathroom. He’d dried off, and had a towel wrapped around
his own waist.
“I forgot deodorant. Can I borrow…?”
“Knock yourself out,” I replied, gesturing at the medicine
cabinet.
As I hung my towel and stepped into the shower, I noticed that
he was very carefully keeping his attention on the medicine
cabinet and not the mirror.
When I finished my shower, Adam was gone. I dried off, sprayed
deodorant and body spray, and went to my room.
When I got there, Adam was in front of the mirror in striped
boxers, white t-shirt, and black socks, brushing out his hair.
I walked to my dresser, pulled a pair of clean boxers on beneath
the towel, then hung the towel up to dry.
When we were ready to go, Adam was dressed in navy slacks and a
light blue, button down shirt, while I was wearing charcoal gray
pants and long-sleeved t-shirt under a black polo. We were both
wearing black trainers. I put on my Asos pea coat, while Adam
pulled on his school jacket. I looked at him, then handed him my
pea coat.
“What?”
“Try it on,” I urged him.
He did and it fit beautifully.
“Keep it.”
“But what are you going to wear?”
I reached into the closet and pulled out Pappa’s pea coat, which
was a size bigger than mine.
“Oh. Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“It looks good on you, and it’s a bit more formal.”
We marched out into the living room, and Linda pronounced us
both presentable, so we headed to the car with Dillon.
“I’m going to Target and Game Stop, and I’ll pick you up at
Arby’s, right?”
“Ja,” I confirmed.
“Okay,” he said as we pulled up to the Funeral Home. “Call me
if anything changes.”
“We will,” Adam promised. “Thank you.”
We signed a guest book and were pointed towards the room where
the viewing was being held. There were a number of people
there. I recognized a few of them from the dojo or school, but
a lot of them were older, and I assumed they were friends of his
parents or relatives.
I saw his parents towards the front of the room talking to
someone.
Adam and I walked towards the front of the room, where the
coffin lay. Where his body lay.
I stopped.
Adam took another step, then stopped himself. He looked back
over his shoulder at me. Did I shake my head a bit?
He held his hand up to me.
I stared at it a long moment, then I looked into his eyes. He
nodded and stepped back to me.
“Do you want to sit down while I… see him?”
I shook my head.
“Do you need to leave?”
I couldn’t shake my head this time, but I reached forward and
took his hand.
“Are you sure?”
I think I managed to nod.
He turned around again and took a step, but didn’t pull on me.
He just waited until I took a step. Then we both took another.
I offered to give Adam a moment by himself, but he declined, so
we both stepped up. I looked at Jake for a moment, but it
wasn’t really him. My hand trembled, so I held the edge of the
coffin and bowed my head.
Fader vår, du som er i himmelen!
La ditt navn holdes hellig. La ditt rike komme.
La din vilje skje på jorden som i himmelen.
Gi oss i dag vårt daglige brød.
Forlat oss vår skyld, som vi og forlater våre skyldnere.
Led oss ikke inn i fristelse, men frels oss fra det onde.
For riket er ditt, og makten og æren i evighet. Amen.
The familiar words came back to me easily, but then I fumbled a
bit. I know Lutheran’s have a Prayer for the Dead, though it’s
not commonly used. Instead, I just closed my eyes and tried to
find the words to say goodbye.
Someone put their hands on my shoulders and squeezed lightly. I
looked up to realize Adam was gone, and glanced behind to find
Walker.
“You okay?’
I nodded.
“I think so.”
“His parents are coming.”
I looked up, and Walker started to leave, but Mr. Landon stopped
them.
“Ruth,” I nodded to her, “Jeremy.”
“I’m sorry,” Jeremy Landon said, “but could we talk to you two
and Adam?”
Walker seemed nervous about it, but we gathered Adam, and the
five of us retired to a side room.
“Sieger, I told you that the police had taken Jake’s phone and
computer?” Ruth asked me
I nodded.
“Well, they also got a court order for that Jackson person’s
electronics. They are charging him with Class A cyberbullying
and manslaughter.”
I heard Walker or Adam gasp. I know my eyes went wide.
“Did you know, or ever hear, that Jake was gay?” Jeremy asked.
“I had heard that,” I answered, “but not from him. I don’t know
if it was true or not.”
Adam looked unsure, but Walker continued.
“It’s been a while since I hung around with him, but when I knew
him, he was… playful - not flirty, but like a young kid. I
can’t really remember him ever showing much interest in guys or
girls, to be honest.”
Jake’s parents nodded, not seeming to notice that Adam had
stayed quiet.
“Do you know if anything was bothering him?”
I think you asked me that before. I honestly don’t. You know
he and I shared a room on the NAGA trip?”
They both nodded.
“He seemed… not upset, I don’t think, but a little sad, or down
maybe. I asked him then if he wanted to talk about something,
but he said he didn’t.”
“Thank you,” Ruth said. “Well, the police told us today that
they found evidence on both computers that Jackson had been
bullying Jake. Some of them called him… well, bad words about
his… his sexual identity, I guess. Jackson said he had proof,
and he was going to post it all over the school and social
media, so everyone would know he was.. .well, that he was gay.
Sometimes he told Jake he wouldn’t do it if Jake would… do stuff
or give him money. Other times, he said he was just going to do
it for fun.”
“There’s no way Jake was… like that,” Jeremy assorted. “But
there’s no telling what this S… person might have made up or
done.”
“Do they think…” Walker started then stopped.
“Do they think Jackson assaulted Jake?” Jeremy asked. “They
think it could have happened, but they couldn’t find any proof.
We suggested they might talk to you, but they said they already
had. We,” he added, gesturing between himself and his wife,
“thought maybe, if you knew that, you might think of something
else.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen Jake in a year, except for the
Christmas Party at Sieger’s,” Walker said.
“And Adam was only with us a couple of times,” I added, “but if
I think of anything, I promise I’ll let the police know.”
“Thank you so very much,” Ruth said, reaching out to take my
hand.
She was crying, and reached into her purse for a handkerchief.
Jeremy spoke up, moving slightly in front of her, as if to cover
her action.
“Mrs. Landon’s mother is here, and they’re going to stay here to
greet anyone else that comes. Jake’s uncle and some cousins and
I are going to be leaving for the vigil in a few minutes. Do
you boys need a ride?”
“No, thank you,” I answered. “We need to eat, then my uncle is
going to pick us up.”
“I drove,” Walker added. “Thank you though. Hey, do y’all just
want to ride with me? I need to get something to eat anyway.”
We said our goodbyes, and left the Landons with a little privacy
for a few minutes.
#Post#: 30472--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty (continued)
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:19 am
---------------------------------------------------------
We stopped for gas, and I paid to fill Walker’s tank, for all
the driving he’d been doing for us lately. Adam and I called
Jim and Dee to let them know Walker was taking us to the vigil
and would bring us home.
We stopped to eat at Panda Express. It wasn’t my favorite, but
they had pretty good chow mein, and I always got a side of their
super greens there. Dillon hates greens, so we don’t eat them
much at home.
Walker sat across from us, and, part way through the meal, he
stopped and really focused on us.
“You two are so cute together.”
“Don’t start on me,” I warned him.
“No, I’m serious. And I like your hair back like that. It
makes you look a little older.”
“Really?” I asked, half suspicious.
“Yeah, you look sixteen now.”
“I am sixteen, Walker.”
“I know, but the bangs made you look a little younger.”
I wasn’t sure if I was being teased or not, so I let it go and
took another bite of my mushroom chicken.
“Do y’all think that was the right thing to do?” Adam said,
sounding a bit unsure.
“What’s that?” Walker asked.
“Telling Mr. and Mrs. Landon Jake wasn’t gay.”
“We didn’t.”
“But you said..”
“Adam, kjære, what I said was that I’d heard someone say Jake
was gay, but that he’d never said that, or acted like it around
me. What Walker said was that he just acted like a guy who
wasn’t really interested in sex. Is either of those untrue?”
He shook his head, then mumbled ‘no.’
“Are you…” I stumbled and tried again, “You know, I’ve never
really asked this, but are you even sure he was gay? I mean,
when you say you guys dated…”
“We had sex. Kinda. I guess.”
“You guess?” Walker said. “Either you had…”
“No, I know what he means. I was thinking about it the other
day.”
“What does he mean then,” Walker asked, sounding a bit
exasperated, but also looking around to see if people were
noticing us.
“I mean, it seems like a lot of people consider themselves to
still be virgins after they’ve had oral sex. And let’s say oral
sex is definitely sex - it’s in the name after all, right?
Okay, what if they just gave each other handies?”
“Okay, okay, fine,” Walker admitted.
“More important, it’s no one’s business except his and Jake’s.”
“Not yours?” Walker asked, making me start to wish I’d just let
Dee come pick us up.
“No. Even if he and I get really serious, all he owes me is the
truth about if and how long since he’s had unprotected sex, and
an honest test.”
I think Walker could tell he’d pushed too far. He might have
just been teasing, but this was not the night or the subject for
joking around. He looked down at his plate and took a bite.
Adam, on the other hand, rested his hand on my thigh and gave it
a light squeeze.
I ate a few bites, then turned back to the question.
“Seriously, though, Adam - you don’t owe them anything about the
relationship you and Jake had. If you want to tell them later,
or if they find something out and ask you, just tell them the
truth: Jake was shy about it, and you were uncomfortable talking
about it.
He squeezed my thigh again. This time I reached down and patted
his hand.
We ate the rest of the meal in silence. When we finished, we
were still ahead of time, and we started discussing what movies
we might watch tomorrow night, as we walked to the car.
The parking lot of the strip mall where the dojo was located was
closed off. Police were directing cars to park along the street
or in the lot across the street. Walker let us out, then went
to park. As we walked in, I saw Officer Berg, and waved at him.
He was busy, but saw me, smiled, and waved back.
There was already a crowd forming in the parking lot, even
though it wasn’t announced to start until half past seven.
There was a table set up on the sidewalk in front of the dojo.
On the table top was a set of raised shelves. There were
already some candles on the shelves, and in the middle, at the
top, was a framed photo of Jake - probably a school photo from
this year or last, because it looked fairly formal and fairly
recent. On the window behind the table, a lot of smaller photos
had been hung. Mostly they looked like the pictures Mark would
often take during practice for flyers and the website.
The parking lot was hardly filled with people standing around,
but it was honestly a bigger crowd than I’d expected, and more
people were still arriving. Some of the people were standing
silently, while others talked quietly. I looked around a bit
and realized that I recognized a lot of people from school, even
if I didn’t know them by name.
I walked around for a few minutes, speaking briefly with people,
and I was shocked. There were people there who’d played Little
League baseball with him. People who’d been on the middle
school soccer team with him. People he’d known in Boy Scouts
and even Cub Scouts. Friends from Church and people he’d known
from community service projects. There were even people there
who hadn’t known him, but who’d heard he might be gay or that
he’d been bullied, or even just people who knew that any loss of
life should be mourned.
Considering his mom said he didn’t make friends easily, it
seemed like a big crowd. They’d had to ask us if he was gay.
His father flat out denied it. It made me wonder what else his
family didn’t know about him, or if they just didn’t really
care.
A number of advanced students at the dojo were moving around,
passing out candles to anyone who hadn’t brought their own. I
looked around and saw that Jake’s family had joined us, and room
had been made for them at the front of the crowd, by the
Coaches. Coach Petersen saw me looking and waved at me.
Reluctantly, I joined him.
Someone had set up a speaker and Coach showed me how to use the
microphone. Then he gave me a candle and a lighter and left me
alone in front of the crowd.
I took a deep breath and spoke.
“Excuse me. May I have your attention?”
There hadn’t been much noise to start, and what there was
quickly died away, leaving only a faint breeze stirring.
“We are gathered together tonight in memory of Jacob Joshua
Landon.”
I took a deep breath, then continued.
“I did not know Jake long. I only moved here in early October,
but Jake was one of the first people I met. Jake tended to be a
private person, and there are many things I probably didn’t know
about him.”
I waved behind me at the table and pictures.
“I didn’t know he’d played baseball until I saw some of those.”
There was a mild chuckle.
“What I do know is, Jake was a good friend. He might not have
been terribly outgoing, but he was very accepting. He saw a new
person, and he made me feel welcome. He never made fun of my
accent or the fact that English words sometimes slip from my
memory. He made me feel less alone.
“What I do know about Jake is that he tried hard at school. He
was active in the community, and he was active physically. He
enjoyed coming here, and working out with me, and pushing
himself. He was a good student, academically and otherwise.
“And he was active in his community. You can see the examples
right there,” I said, waving at the pictures again. “He was
active with his Church, helping people where he could. He was
active with Boy Scouts, and doing community service. He even
volunteered at the animal shelter, so he could help animals.
“Jake Landon was a good person.
“When I was asked to do this, I looked up the reason behind it.
I found that lighting a candle signified that the person’s
memory lives on and is burning bright.”
I put the microphone down, picked up my candle, lit it, then
pocketed the lighter, and picked the mic up again.
“Jake’s memory does live bright inside me, maybe more so because
I knew him such a short time. Over the Christmas vacation, Jake
and I went to an out-of-town grappling tournament and shared a
motel room. I don’t remember what started it, but I remember
wrestling around until we were both tired out - not caring who
was winning or losing, but just having fun. I remember going
ice skating with him and finding out he’d never been. He just
went because I wanted to do something that reminded me of home.
I remember going Christmas shopping with him, and stopping for
fresh cookies.
“This candle represents Jake’s memory for me, and it does burn
bright, but it symbolizes something else as well.”
Adam and Walker were right in front of me, and I stepped
forward, holding my candle out carefully, so they could light
theirs from mine. Then they turned and started spreading the
light. I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
“To me, this candle symbolizes something Jake seems to have not
known he had or had forgotten to look for. To me, each of us is
living in a circle of darkness, with nothing but a small light
to illuminate it. But, when things seem darkest, if you just
look, you can find someone else’s light - someone who can offer
help or who can just listen. And, if enough of us gather
together, like tonight, then our small lights can light up the
darkness and illuminate us all.”
I looked to the table and found the large, white candle that had
been placed in front of his photo. I leaned over and lit it.
“I love you, Jake, and I miss you.”
I turned the microphone off, set it down, and stepped into the
crowd.
#Post#: 30473--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty-One
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:38 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever noticed how it always seems to be raining at
funerals in the movies? I’m told that January is the driest
month in Texas, so I guess there wasn’t much risk of that. On
the other hand, the day was overcast and grey and seemed
perfectly suited.
I was skipping the dojo again today, so I’d started with a heavy
warm up, then a light weight workout, and now I was going to put
in ten kilometers. The playlist I’d chosen was loud and
energetic - angry music: Eminem, Ice T, AC/DC, Metallica, Guns N
Roses, Rage Against the Machine, Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot, and
Bad Brains. It was perfect for my mood, and I quickly got lost
in the rhythm of the music and the beat of my feet on the
street.
When I finished, I walked a bit to cool down, then went in and
did some extreme stretching. Linda and Dee were up by then, and
they offered to cook breakfast for me, but American comfort food
did not sound good right then.
I started water for coffee and oatmeal, put an egg on to boil,
and dropped a bagel in the toaster. Blueberries, almonds, and
butter for the oatmeal, cream cheese and ham for one side of the
bagel, and kaviar for the other, add an orange, and I’m ready to
go.
By the time I start eating, Dillon and Linda are almost
finished, so I listen as they discuss their plans for the rest
of the long weekend. After a bit, they brought me into the
conversation.
“You have to be at the funeral early, since you’re a
pallbearer?”
“They asked if I can be there by 1:30, so they can go over a few
things with me.”
“And they’ll provide a ride to the cemetery?”
I nodded.
“Have you decided what you’re doing tonight?” Linda asked.
“I really wanted to stay home, but many people asked me to watch
movies at Walker’s. I think they worry about me being alone.”
“We could stay home tonight, if you want to come home but not be
alone,” Dee suggested.
“No. I will go to watch movies. I told Walker only two movies
though. I am tired this week, and don’t want to stay out too
late.”
“I can imagine,” Linda agreed. “Will you need a ride?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “If no one else is ready to
leave, I can take an Uber. Oh, and Dee, I owe you money for
cleaning and shoes. Should I Venmo you?”
“You don’t have to pay me back for that, Sieger.”
“Dee…” I started, but he ignored me. “Linda?”
“He’s right, Sieger. We’ve told you before, we get money to
cover your expenses. Your allowance is for you. Didn’t you
miss your trip to the comic store this week?”
I shrugged.
“I have plenty to read. I’ll just go next week.”
“Okay, but don’t worry about money,” she said.
“Now, what time are you supposed to be at Walker’s?” Dee asked.
“Seven.”
“Are you doing anything before that, or do you want to ride home
from the funeral with us? Do you want a ride to Walker’s, for
that matter?”
“I think Debbie and Adam are going to pick me up for Walker’s.
I’ll make sure to let you know. A ride home from the funeral
would be great. Maybe I can take a nap before I go.”
I was still a little hungry. I debated back and forth, and
finally took a banana, a bran muffin, and another cup of coffee
to my room with me, so I could read until time to get dressed.
About 12:30, I put my book down and had lunch. A couple of laks
and Jarlsberg sandwiches with carrot sticks and ranch dressing,
then an apple for dessert, all chased by coffee, and I was ready
to face the dreary afternoon.
I brushed my teeth and made sure my hair looked okay to start.
I’d already put on antiperspirant, and decided to do without
body spray for this occasion, so I headed to my room.
I hated wearing socks that came up my leg, but Pappa had always
insisted they had to be worn for fancy dress occasions, so I
reluctantly pulled them on - black, of course. Undershirt and
white dress shirt, add the black suit, and freshly shined shoes.
I didn’t have a solid black tie, so I selected one with a
subtle grey, diagonal stripe pattern. The temperature was
supposed to hover around eleven all afternoon, but I knew we’d
be standing outside for a while, and it looked like there would
be at least a mild breeze the entire time, so I added Pappa’s
charcoal grey overcoat, and I felt ready to go.
Dillon and Linda were just getting ready when I came into the
living room. Linda was wearing a black pants suit, and Dillon
was dressed in charcoal grey slacks and a navy blazer. They
both looked nice, and I was sure I did, but Linda still insisted
on fussing over me a moment before we could go.
When we arrived at the church, I was shown to a separate area.
Three other people were already there; a young adult, and two
guys. The young adult was one of Jake’s youngest uncles, and
the other two were his cousins. Mark was a college freshman,
and Eli was 17. The other two seemed okay, but straight-laced,
but Eli seemed cool. We were all dressed pretty similarly, so
you couldn’t say too much, but Eli had his hair pulled back in a
ponytail, and he was wearing earrings, so he was at least a
little more relaxed. After a couple of minutes, another young
adult - the other of Jake’s youngest uncles - and Adam showed
up. The funeral director went over things with us: where we
should be, and when and what we should do. It really did sound
like pallbearer was an outmoded concept anymore, but maybe there
was something comforting in thinking about his friends and
family carrying him to his final rest.
After the funeral director left, Adam came over to me. We
hugged briefly, and he gave my hand a squeeze before stepping
back.
The funeral service was a funeral. It was made more interesting
since I’d never been to an Evangelical service before and wasn’t
sure what to expect, and I knew almost none of the music. At
least I knew “Amazing Grace,” which had always been Mamma’s
favorite hymn, and she’d made sure I learned it in English.
They didn’t say mass and the homily was different, but it was
still somewhat comforting.
When the service ended, people began to pay their final respects
and leave the building. The six of us waited until the funeral
director motioned to us. We stepped forward, and were allowed a
moment.
“It doesn’t look like him, does it?”
I looked up to find Eli talking to me. I shook my head.
“His hair was never that neat,” I replied.
Eli smiled at me.
“He hated that.”
“I told him it looked good,” I responded, “but he never believed
me.”
We shared a moment of memory, then stepped back so they could
close the coffin.
The six pallbearers rode together to the funeral, which I’d been
told to expect, but I was a bit surprised when Eli made a point
to sit beside me. Once the car got moving, he leaned over and
spoke to me very quietly.
“Are you the one who told the police that Jake might have been
bullied, and might have been gay?”
I looked at him for a second, then nodded, though that wasn’t
exactly what had happened.
“Thank you,” he said. “But there’s something you should know.”
I remained silent, but nodded again.
“Jake was gay, and I’m pretty sure your friend there was his
boyfriend at one point. I know that because Jake told me. I’m
not gay, but I don’t have any problem with it.”
He paused for a second, taking a deep breath and glancing at his
relatives, but then he went on.
“I’m not gay, but Jake and I used to mess around some. I’m
about a year older than him, but we were pretty much the closest
in age, so we hung out a lot when the family got together.”
He paused again and bit his lip. It seemed obvious he was
nervous or uncomfortable, but he went on after a moment.
“We used to mess around together. I guess you could call it sex
stuff, but we were pretty young.
“The thing is, I spent a week or so at their house the summer he
was twelve and I was thirteen, and Jeremy caught us... You know,
playing with each other. He whupped us both with a belt.”
He must have seen my reaction, because he hurried on.
“It wasn’t abusive or anything like that, but it was still
pretty bad. He didn’t tell Aunt Ruth, but he didn’t really let
us be together alone the rest of the week. I never went back
after that, and he wouldn’t let Jake come to my house.
“So, I just… Yeah, he was scared of his dad finding out. I
don’t know if that had anything to do with it, but I just wanted
to let you know, and to tell you to watch out around Jeremy.”
The graveside service dragged on too long. I didn’t mind that
it was cold, but I’d said my goodbyes, and it was going to be a
long time before I was able to make peace. I was more than
tired - I felt drained, out of gas.
Jeremy Landon was sitting next to his wife, and I was right
behind him. He’d insisted Adam and I stand with the family. I
glanced behind me and saw Linda and Dillon, and I just wanted to
go home. I turned back to the service and watched while the
preacher finished. Ruth was crying softly, while her mother and
husband tried to comfort her, and I thought how horrible it must
be to lose your only child. I dug into my pockets and found my
handkerchief again, then dabbed at my eyes. Adam saw, and took
my free hand for a moment, giving it a squeeze.
After the service, I waited while people lined up to offer
condolences to the family. When the surge had died down, Adam
and I joined at the end.
“Thank you boys so much for being here,” Ruth told us.
I couldn’t think of anything to say to that, so said the only
thing I could think of - what I’d already planned.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” I tried to say clearly.
“Jake will be missed,” Adam added.
“By a lot of people,” Jeremy replied to us as we shook their
hands.
As we left, Adam headed towards where we could see several of
our friends gathered. I stopped him.
“I’m going home.”
“You’re still coming tonight?” he asked.
I nodded.
“I’m just really tired right now. I need to get something to
eat, try to get a nap. But I’ll be there tonight.”
He nodded, then looked around for a second, but stepped forward.
We wrapped our arms around each other. Nothing intimate - just
two friends comforting each other.
When Adam walked away, I looked around for Linda and Dillon.
“Can we go home now?” I asked.
I barely noticed them glance at each other, before taking me
between them and heading towards the car.
#Post#: 30474--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty-Two
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
The ride home was pretty quiet. Linda and Dee were talking
some, but I just looked out the window. They asked if I wanted
to stop and get something to eat. It had been a while since I’d
eaten lunch, but I wasn’t very hungry, and nothing sounded very
good anyway.
When we arrived home, Linda insisted I wait while she got the
thermometer. I tried to explain that I was just tired. The
past week had been bad and busy and fuc‍ked up in so many
ways, and I just wanted to rest a bit. After finding out my
temperature was normal, they told me to go take a nap.
I turned away, but then turned back.
“Linda, Dee - Thank you for going with me today. I know there
must have been things you’d rather do, but I appreciate you
being there for me.”
The two of them made kind of non-commital, ‘no need to thank us’
noises, but I went on.
“I know I haven’t always seemed real grateful about you taking
me in. As many things as I’ve come to appreciate here, I’d
still rather be home. But you both have been very kind… very
gracious and generous, and I do appreciate it.”
I stopped for a moment, but then I stepped up and gently hugged
Linda. I looked at Dillon for a minute. He’d never been
demonstrative with me, and I knew most American guys were really
reserved, but he didn’t move to stop me, so I hugged him as
well.
I was surprised at how firmly he hugged me back.
“Sieger,” Linda stated after a few seconds, “we’re happy to have
you here. You’re family, and you’ll always have a place here.”
“Absolutely. You’re my only sister’s only son, and we’re pretty
much the only blood relative each other has. As long as you
need it, this is your home.”
I know I was just tired and emotional from the funeral, but I
was still tired of crying everytime a gnat farted, so I quickly
turned away before they could see it and worry about me even
more.
“Well, thanks anyway. I’m going to go lie down for a while.”
I stripped out of my suit, and all I wanted to do was lie down,
but Pappa had been a strict taskmaster about the proper care of
good clothes. The shirt was good quality, but it was still
machine washable, so it just went into the hamper. The tie went
back to the tie rack. The coat and pants were hung and brushed
out. I put the shoe trees back in the shoes, and the shoes back
in the shoe bag. Then, with a clear conscience, I set my alarm,
shook out my comforter, and faded off to sleep almost as fast as
Mr. Whiskers could settle down next to me.
I was kind of disoriented when I first woke. When I realized
the alarm hadn’t gone off, I panicked for a second, until I
checked my phone and realized I hadn’t slept that long. I sat
up on the side of my bed and took a couple of minutes to stretch
and wake up a bit more, then walked into the bathroom. After
rinsing my mouth, washing my face, and getting a long drink of
water, I felt much more awake.
I had texts waiting from Walker and Adam both. Adam wanted to
know if they could pick me up about twenty minutes earlier than
planned. Walker had sent a group text saying they were getting
pizza, told me what my share would be, and asked what kinds I
liked. He sent a separate one about the movies we were going to
watch. I really hadn’t felt like horror movies, and he’d given
me veto rights if I promised to come. I laughed at what he
suggested and agreed to it.
I sat on the bed and stared at the wall for a while before
deciding I really needed a cup of coffee to get me going. As
the coffee brewed, I spent a few minutes arguing about what to
wear, before I finally decided I didn’t really care - I wanted
to be comfortable. I ended up in dark blue sweatpants, a plain
undershirt, and one of those ugly snowflake pattern sweaters all
the old people in Norway seem to love and everyone seemed to
have. I figured it was good for a laugh.
I drank some water and juice with the coffee and was actually
feeling awake and much better by the time Adam and Debbie
arrived. A bit before they were due, I said goodbye to Dee and
Linda and went out to the front yard to practice some tricking
before they picked me up. Since I had come to tricking more
from my interest in cinematic martial arts instead of tumbling,
there were some basic moves I wasn’t that good at, so I worked
on my gainers and corks while I waited.
Debbie and Adam arrived right on time, so I hopped in the back,
and we took off.
“That’s a very nice sweater, Sieger,” Debbie mentioned,
confirming my theory that there’s something about adulthood that
kills taste.
“Takk, Debbie. Why did you have to pick me up early?”
“I wish you’d learn to use y’all,” Sieg. It confuses me when
you use ‘you’ like that,” Adam complained over his shoulder.
“In Norwegian, we have ‘dere’ when we mean more than one, but I
thought ‘you’ was singular and plural in English,” I replied.
“That’s in English, honey,” Debbie answered me. “We speak Texan
around here.”
I laughed a bit, not sure if she was serious or not.
“Anyway,” she continued, “I guess y’all are having pizza and ice
cream tonight, and we volunteered to stop and get the ice cream
stuff, so we’re running to the store, and it was just easier to
pick you up first.”
“Don’t want the ice cream to melt on the way,” Adam added, and I
thought about how weird it was to worry about ice cream melting
outside in January.
Thirty minutes later, Adam and I were walking up to Walker’s
front door carrying six gallons of assorted ice cream flavors,
enough crushed and chopped nuts that I was worried about
squirrels trying to mug us, and enough different syrups,
sprinkles, candies, and marshmallows to make me hope someone had
insulin.
Walker didn’t need a puppy with Tanner hanging around. He must
have been watching for us, because he came bursting out the
front door as we approached.
“Hey, are you okay, I didn’t get to talk to you this afternoon,
do you know what we’re watching, let me help, what kind of pizza
did you order, how late are you gonna stay, I gotta be home at
twelve…”
“Breathe, Tanner!” Adam and I called out together.
He stopped and looked sheepish. “Sorry,” he said. Only a
little sheepish though.
Adam and I each let him get a couple of the bags, and we all
headed inside. Once I had a hand free, I mussed his hair.
“Takk for sist,” I told him.
He gave me a disgusted look.
“I wish you’d stop that,” Tanner complained. “I already have to
take a foreign language to graduate, and they don’t offer
Norwegian. You’re tryin’ to make me take two.”
Ten minutes later, the ice cream was stored away, plates and
napkins were set up in one spot, cups next to a huge variety of
sodas, and sundae platters were set up with spoons in a kind of
bar with all the toppings we brought.
“Okay,” Walker said, looking around to make sure he was
satisfied with everything. “Mom will kill me if we make a mess,
then probably track all y’all down to clean it up, so rinse
stuff off and stack it, or put it in the trash, please.”
He paused while we all agreed.
“Okay, we’ll start the movies as soon as the pizza gets here.
Oh, and if anyone has any change, I could use a little help with
the tip. The amount I sent you was just for the pizza and ice
cream.”
It still seemed weird to me that we were supposed to tip someone
for doing their job, instead of their boss just paying them
enough to start, but I threw in a couple of dollars, because I
didn’t want to look stingy.
“Now, you all know we had to work to get Sieger here tonight,”
He waved at me, and I blushed and ducked my head, which seemed
to amuse everyone.
“So I promised him he could pick the movies, ”Walker went on,
“but this afternoon he and I agreed on something a bit
different. I suggested a… category, and he agreed, and we’re
gonna let y’all vote. Tonight, we’re going to watch some of
the gayest horror movies ever made.”
There were some cat calls and some whistles, but once we saw
the actual titles we were going to vote on, everyone settled
down.
After the pizza arrived, and everyone was eating, Walker dimmed
the lights, and turned on the TV. We’d ended up voting for
Forsaken and Jeepers Creepers 2. I guess I don’t know what they
mean by homoerotic. Forsaken was about these two guys hunting
vampires, and they formed a pretty good friendship, but it's not
like they jumped in bed together or anything. In Creepers, the
monster was trying to eat a school bus with a high school
basketball team on it. There were a lot of cute, teenage boys,
but the only one who seemed actually gay was the monster, since
he seemed to like to eat the cute guys most.
They were still pretty decent movies though. They also weren’t
very long, and it was barely past ten o’clock when we were
finished, even though we’d wrestled around and taken a break for
ice cream and stuff. Tanner and Austin were both staying at
Tanner’s house, down the block, and they didn't have to be back
until midnight, and I didn’t have to be home at any certain
time. I still felt awake and ready to go. We talked about
watching Nightmare on Elm Street 2, which had been the third
vote getter, but we finally decided to go back and watch the
first Jeepers Creepers movie, since most of us hadn’t seen it.
I’d claimed the same chair as last time, but when I came back
from a bathroom break, Austin had claimed it and was fighting to
keep his cousin from sharing it with him. I checked the pizza
boxes and found a couple of pizzas that looked like veggie, so I
grabbed those and a soft drink, and went back to the chair.
Adam held my plate while I picked Tanner up and sat him down
next to me, then Adam joined us.
I’m honestly glad I had Adam on one side and Tanner on the
other, because the first Creeper movie got creepy as f‍uck
in a few places, especially when Derry climbed down in that
hole. Tanner nearly jumped in my lap at that one, and he didn’t
want to let go. Not that I minded. He was a little young, but
he was more cuddly than my teddy bear.
Adam’s dad was picking him up at midnight, and they offered me a
ride home. Tanner and Austin crammed in the car with us, because
they didn’t want to walk even just a few houses down the street
after that last movie. Especially not when Logan kept singing
‘Jeepers creepers, where’d you get them peepers?’, as they
headed towards the door.
I really was tired by the time we got home, and I had to stop in
the middle of ‘good night’ to yawn. Still, I wasn’t collapsing
in my tracks or anything. Dillon and Linda weren’t home yet, so
I very carefully turned on every light in the house, even though
I knew no one was hanging around to eat my eyeballs or anything.
Then I cleaned up and got undressed.
Once I was ready for bed, I thought a few seconds and put on the
Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s album. It was the least creepy music I
could think of that wouldn’t probably keep me awake. I thought
about turning off the lights, but I decided to let Linda have
something to gripe at me about.
Once in bed, I started feeling a little guilty, and I couldn't
figure out why. I started thinking about Eli and some of the
other people I’d met at the funeral and vigil, and realized
there were a lot of Jake’s friends I hadn’t known, just like
there was a lot I hadn’t known about him. I’d known he was a
Boy Scout, but I hadn’t thought much about it, except it meant
he couldn’t do stuff on Monday afternoons because of Scout
meetings.
I was wondering who else he hung out with, who else he did stuff
with, if maybe he had another boyfriend whom I just didn’t know.
I was really wishing that he’d made up with Adam sooner or
stayed friends with the other guys, and I wished he’d joined us
at the Halloween party. I know he’s liked watching Krampus with
us at the Christmas party, and I wondered if he would have
enjoyed tonight.
That’s when I realized that I was feeling kind of guilty… not
exactly because Jake couldn’t do stuff with us; but... I think
it’s because I had done something, and I’d had a good time. Was
I feeling guilty because I hadn’t been grieving for Jake? Had I
already started to put him behind me?
I tried to compare it to losing my parents, but it wasn’t the
same thing at all. Your parents are the biggest part of your
life, and, even though teenagers like to act like we don’t need
them, they’ve still been there our entire life, and they’re the
foundation of everything else. I hadn’t realized that until I
lost mine. Jake was a good friend, and maybe he could have been
more, but he wasn’t my life.
No, I think what was bothering me was I felt like I wasn’t
grieving enough - not hard enough, not long enough. I’d felt
miserable that morning, so… I’d been told that funerals are for
the living, and I guess that’s true. It’s not that I wanted to
forget Jake, and it’s not that I still didn’t miss him and
grieve his loss. It’s that… It’s that his funeral had given me
a real chance to say goodbye. The funeral didn’t make me forget
him, and I didn’t want to forget him. Certainly the things I
was working on now were for his memory as much as the future
good they might do. No, the funeral had just given me closure,
and that wasn’t a bad thing.
Suddenly I felt lighter than I had in days, and I surprised
myself by being able to roll over and go right to sleep.
#Post#: 30475--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty-Three
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 1:57 am
---------------------------------------------------------
When my alarm went off the next morning, I was confused for a
moment. I was sure it wasn’t a school day, and it wasn’t until
I realized it was Sunday that things clicked.
I’d set the alarm so I could sleep in, but, with as late as I’d
gone to sleep, I’d still gotten less sleep than usual. I’d made
sure I’d have plenty of time, though, so I decided to eat first.
While waiting for water to heat, I texted Emil to remind him I’d
be calling late. After that, I flipped through my newsfeed and
found a couple of stories to read.
I’d shaved Friday, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it until
next week. After getting out of the shower, I just fixed my
hair, then went to my room. There were a couple of texts
waiting for me. One was from Emil and just said ‘looking
forward to it’. The other was from Janet’s friend, Kevin,
making sure I still wanted a ride to church. I let him know I
did, and he confirmed what time he’d pick me up.
I didn’t want to be too casual for this, but I also didn’t feel
like being real formal after yesterday. I dug around for a
minute and found a blazer of Pappa’s that was a dark brown. I
double checked and I had a good pair of dress pants that were a
couple of shades lighter and a good, off white dress shirt. My
Bass Weejuns and a tie that matched the jacket, then a gold tie
chain, completed the outfit. It was still pretty cold, so I
grabbed a medium weight coat, and I was ready to go.
I timed it pretty close to exact. I was just locking the door
behind me when Kevin pulled into the driveway. As I walked over
to his car, he rolled his window down.
“You Sieger?”
“Ja. You must be Kevin.”
“That’s me. Hop in.”
I got in on the passenger's side. Kevin was extending his hand,
so I shook it, then fastened my seat belt. He backed into the
seat and we took off.
“This your first time attending here?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“Didn’t you move here back in… November?”
“October,” I corrected.
“Weren’t sure about attending?”
“I’m actually Lutheran - Church of Norway. Mont.. Father
Cavanaugh invited me when we spoke this week.”
Kevin laughed.
“Don’t worry, he asks everyone to call him Monty, or maybe
Father Monty if we’re at church.”
We were both quiet a moment, then he reached over and turned up
the radio, listening to some kind of hip hop.
Kevin was some kind of east Asian, but I couldn’t really say
what. I think I can name most of the countries in that area,
but I don’t know enough to even guess at all the ethnic groups
there might be, much less to look at someone and say which one
he belonged to. It didn't really matter anyway, except
curiosity. He certainly spoke Texan better than I did.
Once we arrived, Kevin was kind enough to show me around. Then
he introduced me to their youth group, many of whom were kids
I’d seen around school at one point or another.
A number of the high schoolers and a few other people sat
together in one area, and they invited me to join them. Several
people made small talk to me until the service began.
The service was… nice. It was comforting. It was different,
but I’m honestly not sure how much of that was Episcopalian
versus Lutheran and how much was just American versus Norwegian.
It didn’t really matter though. I’m not incredibly religious,
but there was just something that felt fulfilling about being
there.
I actually did take communion from Father Monty. We were hardly
able to stop and chat, but he smiled when he saw me, and we gave
each other a nod.
I saw him after the service, talking to people, and I stopped to
chat with him. I was kind of surprised at how many people made
a point of introducing themselves to me and welcoming me.
Americans are scary in a lot of ways, but they’re amazingly
friendly at times as well.
“I see you accepted my invitation,” Monty said to me as we
shook.
“Yes, thank you very much. This was really something I needed.”
“I’m glad it worked for you,” he said with a smile, then looked
more serious. “The funeral was yesterday?”
I nodded.
“How is his family?”
“Okay? As well as you’d expect?”
He nodded this time.
“It’s a terrible situation for everyone. How are you?”
I shrugged.
“About the same as them. I think I’m doing okay.”
He reached out and rested his hand on my arm for a second.
“It’s always hard losing someone, and your situation doesn’t
make it easier.”
We were quiet for a second, and I saw Kevin awaiting me, so I
was about to excuse myself, when Monty spoke again.
“I’d like to visit you again, just to talk a bit, if I may.
Would you mind?”
“No, that’d be fine.”
“What about Tuesday afternoon, about five?”
“I have MMA after school Tuesday and Thursday,” I explained
“Well, maybe you’d like to join us for the Youth Ministry
meeting after school Wednesday? We’re usually finished by 6pm.”
I thought about it for a moment, and agreed. I still had plenty
to read, so I didn’t need a visit to the comic store, and I
could probably get Linda or Dee to take me Saturday.
“Sure, that’d be great.”
Emil and I talked for a while when I got home, but I’m not sure
how much we had to say. He was worried about me, interested in
my church visit, and amused by our movie night. Maybe he didn’t
want to worry me, but he and Håkon were having a bit of trouble.
I could pretty well understand it. Of course, I didn’t know
Håkon as well as I did Emil, but I know Emil loved marka. As
soon as Monday morning rolled around, it seemed all he could
think of was Nordmarka Forest and what route we would take the
next weekend. From what I remembered of Håkon, he was a huge
science geek. For our science projects the year before, he’d
built a kit robot and showed how to customize it. I could see
Emil becoming very frustrated with someone who’s idea of a fun
weekend was staying inside to rebuild an old radio.
I really did try to commiserate with him, but I have to admit it
was a bit hard.
It’s a bit hard to translate the next bit of our conversation.
In Norwegian, we have different words for ‘love’. ‘Glad i’ is
the type of love you might have for your best friend, but
‘elsker’ is what you have for your children… or for your
boyfriend. Let’s just say that ‘like and love’ give the right
idea, but aren’t really accurate.
“I don’t know, Sieger. I do love him. He can be sweet and
thoughtful and romantic, but… He’ll be wonderful for someone,
but I just don’t know if that’s me. Maybe things will change
when the weather warms up, but I just don’t see us getting too
serious.”
He paused.
“What about you and Adam?”
I tried to think of the right way to phrase it, but I waited a
moment too long.
“You don’t just like him,” Emil said, a bit sadly, “you love
him.”
I nodded.
“I do. Emil, with Adam, I am… happy. He makes me comfortable,
secure. Like you.”
He looked up at me.
“So?”
“So, I don’t know. There is no blame, Emil…”
“But I’m the one who wanted to date others while you were gone?”
I nodded.
“But really, Adam and I haven’t dated yet.”
“You slept with him,” he said, but as a statement, not an
accusation.
“Would you have had me not?”
“No, I would have been angry if you hadn’t.”
“Emil, I do know one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I still want to come home to you.”
He smiled at me.
“And Adam?”
“That… would make two things, and I only know one.”
“I have to go, kjæresten min. They just called my train.”
He moved his phone so I could see he was at the depot from one
of our favorite ski spots.
“I should have known,” I said with a smile. “Be safe.”
I wandered into the kitchen to see about lunch, thinking about
the call. Linda and Dee were already there.
“You okay?’ Linda asked.
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
“How was Emil,” Dee added.
“Good, takk.”
Dillon had made a squash and chicken casserole that I loved, so
I put a big serving on my plate, got a piece of garlic toast,
and sat down at the table.
“Now, could you explain again why there is no school tomorrow?”
I knew who Martin Luther King, Jr. was, and I knew in general
why some people honored him, but America’s rather energetic
two-party system left me confused about why there was a holiday
for him. After a bit, Linda and Dillon admitted they were twice
my age, and they were still a bit confused by parts of it
themselves.
After lunch, I took a short nap, then did a light workout and a
ten kilometer run. The temperature was fourteen, and we still
had nearly three hours of light, even though it was nearly two
in the afternoon, so I decided to go bike riding for a while.
Dalton had told me about a park out past the middle school,
which was near Walker’s house. He said it was about eight miles
from my house, which I think was about thirteen kilometers, so
it would only be twenty or twenty-five minutes as a bike ride.
That gave me time to get there and back, and stop for a while,
or just ride around, before it got dark.
I let Linda know what I was going to do, and I took off.
About forty-five minutes later, I was sitting on a table at the
park. I’d found the park pretty easily, then circled around a
couple of times to find a convenience store. I’d gotten a
Gatorade and a bag of trail mix and went back. After sitting
down, I checked the time and found a text from Adam.
‘call me’
I finished my snack and opened a video chat.
“Hey, bro. What’s up?” I greeted him.
“Takk for sist,” he answered.
I smiled and shook my head.
“You’ve been practicing,” I laughed.
“Just glad I didn’t screw it up. Where are you?”
I couldn’t remember the name of the park, so I just turned the
phone so he could see, then showed him my bike.
“Warm weather like this must be heaven for you, huh?”
“Not really,” I answered. “I miss skiing.”
“Skiing? Seriously?”
“Yeah. Emil went this weekend. We used to go almost every
weekend. Usually langrenn.. um . Nordic? Ah - cross country.
But sometimes we would go downhill. It cost more, but wasn't
much further.”
“Wow, that must be something.”
“It is,” I assured him.
“Look, the reason I called… Dad has to work tomorrow, but Mom is
off, and she’s going into Dallas. There’s this place she likes
to go shopping, and she wants me to go with her, so she doesn’t
have to drive by herself. She’s bribing me, and promised I
could drive, and we’re going to have brunch at this place she
knows.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah, she wants to find a nice birthday gift for Dad.”
“Good for her.”
“I negotiated a little bit, and we’re going by this rock
climbing place afterwards.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah, so.. .Would you like to go?”
“Why Adam, are you asking me on a date?”
“No. Of course not. Just, you know, friends. If it was a date,
what would you say?”
I smiled at him.
“I’d say yes, of course.”
#Post#: 30477--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty-Four
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 2:05 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Debbie and Adam weren’t picking me up until 9:15, so I had
plenty of time for my morning run. I wasn’t sure about the
places we were going - to eat or the ‘climbing place’ - so I
wore black gym shorts and a white rash guard under jeans and a
black and red flannel shirt, with my red cross trainers, and I
felt dressed enough for a casual morning and climbing.
When they picked me up, Debbie made me promise not to distract
Adam, since he hadn’t done a lot of highway driving yet. I gave
my word, and sat back to watch the scenery.
The scenery wasn’t that much. Winter in Texas is blah. It’s
flat, and everything is brown and yellow. Worse, there were
billboards and buildings everywhere. After a few miles, I just
sat back.
It was fun to watch Adam drive though. He was being so careful,
and trying so hard to be confident, but it was obvious he was
nervous. Not as nervous as Debbie was, though she was also
trying hard to act blasé.
“Are you okay, Sieger” Debbie asked, surprising me.
I didn’t want to badmouth her home, so I spoke honestly, but not
quite directly.
“I miss the snow. I miss the trees. I miss people.”
She was quiet for a moment.
“I can imagine it’s a hard adjustment to make. Oslo sounds
beautiful.”
“Ja. Dillon and Linda say Texas is also beautiful. They have
promised to take me to East Texas once the weather warms up for
them.”
Debbie turned for a second and smiled at me.
“That should be nice.”
I hope it will be as nice as the place they took me for brunch…
In a different way, of course. The cafe looked like it had been
converted from an old house, since there were a number of rooms,
each decorated in a different way. They had a beautiful, brick
patio, but Debbie and Adam both felt it was too cold to eat
there. Instead, we ended in a sunken room that had an ornate,
cast iron railing along the raised walkway. It also had several
brick columns that gave it a very koselig look - very warm and
homey.
Our waitress was a nice looking, young, blonde lady who had a
slight accent. After she took our drink orders and left, I
asked Debbie, and she told me it was probably New England, maybe
Boston. That made it click, and I realized she sounded like
Mark Wahlberg, but less husky.
“Hey, vennen,” Adam told me cheerfully, “they have smoked
salmon.”
“True, but why should I order that? I eat it at home all the
time, and I make it the same way.”
“What do you make at home?” the waitress asked, as she brought
our drinks.
“Salmon bagels,” I answered. “Not exactly like this,” I said,
indicating the menu, “ but this is much hvordan mamma laget
dem.”
She looked at me a moment.
“How your mother made them? Is that Swedish?”
“Norwegian,” I smiled at her. “Veldig nærme.”
“My grandparents are Danish, and I speak a little bit. A very
little bit.”
I took a sip of my orange juice as she spoke, and then put it
back down.
“My morfar - my mother’s father - was from the Nederlands, and
I’m named for him, Joep Sieger. I go by Sieger.”
“I’m Andrea,” she said, “but I go by Andi.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Andi.”
“So, if you’re not going to have the salmon bagel, what would
you like?”
They only had Italian roast coffee, so Andi suggested I try a
Pu-erh tea. She didn’t believe I was eighteen, much less
twenty-one, which is required in Texas, but she did agree to get
the bar to make me a virgin Diablo, which is their spicy version
of a bloody Mary. Debbie chastised me for even trying, and
warned Adam not to, but also ordered a mimosa, since Adam was
driving.
The tea wasn’t coffee, but it was good, and I made a note of the
name. The Diablo was excellent.
I started with homemade granola, then had a vegetarian benedict,
which was wonderful. I’m not positive, but I don’t think I’ve
actually had Hollandaise sauce since that summer we spent in
Paris. I have to admit, Debbie’s Monterrey enchiladas and
Adam’s chicken and waffles looked just as delicious as mine, and
we ended up sampling back and forth before we finished.
It was only a few blocks from the restaurant to the store where
Debbie wanted to shop, and we ended up walking, just because we
were all so stuffed.
I can see why Debbie had wanted to come here. It was some kind
of antique shop. They had tons of stuff divided up into
different areas, but the ones that were coolest were vintage
records and vintage clothes.
Adam explained that there were some albums his dad really wanted
for his record collection, but he’d been collecting so long that
the things he didn’t have, they couldn’t afford. That didn't
mean there weren’t other collectibles he wanted. As for me, I
was pretty sure I’d never spend two hundred dollars on a record
album, but that didn’t mean they weren’t cool to look at.
By the time we were through exploring all the neat shi‍t
they had at the antique store, and Debbie was ready to go, it
was nearly one o’clock. It was still fun watching Adam as he
drove and proved he was ready for his license, at the same time
his mom was trying to act like she wasn’t scared to death.
Debbie dropped us off at the rock climbing place, and said she’d
pick us up at six p.m. I wasn’t positive I wanted to stay that
late, but we could always get Linda to pick us up, and Debbie
could just get Adam at our place.
I shouldn’t have worried. Turns out they’d kind of forgotten
that you had to have a waiver signed by your parents or
guardians, which Adam did, but I didn’t, so Debbie turned around
before she ever got home.
Oops.
Adam and I sat together in the backseat on the way to my house.
In our driveway, I undid my seatbelt and leaned over to him for
a quick kiss.
“Maybe next date, we can be without your mother?” I suggested.
“There’s going to be a next one?” he replied.
I smiled and kissed him again.
“Hands where I can see them,” Debbie commanded.
Adam replied while also making his opinion on the command very
clear.
Getting home early was actually okay though. I had a stack of
emails to catch up on, and I was glad to have some down time
before I had to head back to school.
I was almost sick when I actually started into my emails though.
Jim had really come through for me, and a local news program
had agreed to interview me tomorrow, at the dojo, about Jake’s
suicide, things that might have contributed to it, and things
that might result from it. Coach Hall had already agreed.
I tried to remind myself that, not only had I asked for it, but
it was an important part of the plan. I tried to convince
myself that this would be little different than acting in
Theater. Mostly I wonder where I’d been when everyone else
queued up for brains.
#Post#: 30478--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Thirty-Five
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 2:12 am
---------------------------------------------------------
You know how they say ‘time flies when you’re having fun’?
Well, if you want it to really pass quickly, schedule something
you dread for that evening.
Walker already knew I was stressed out and why. I’d called him
for an update the night before, and vented a bit. However,
apparently my pålegg gave it away as well. He came up to sit
beside me at lunch, and that was the first thing he noticed.
“Where’s all your usual, fancy stuff,” he asked, waving at the
simple matpakke I was having today.
I was only having two slices of bread with Jarlsberg and salami
and two more with butter and ham, then an apple for dessert.
“And that’s… pallick?” Tanner asked.
“Pålegg,” I corrected him. “The stuff you put on sandwiches.
More of an ‘o’ than an ‘a’.”
He nodded and repeated the word correctly.
“Anyway,” I said, turning back to Walker. “I didn’t feel like
eating it today. I don’t really feel like eating anything, but
the last thing I need is to get halfway through and faint.”
“Faint?” Devon asked, as Aiden chimed in with “Halfway through
what?”, the two of them talking in each other’s mouth, or… on
top of each other, I think is the weird American saying.
“Sieger’s going to be on TV,” Adam answered as he set his lunch
tray down.
Everyone turned to look at me.
“Maybe,” I clarified. “We don’t even know for sure, much less
when.”
“Nah,” Adam disagreed with me. “Dad says it might not air on
TV, but it will definitely be on their website.”
I smiled, finished my lunch, and went to get some coffee. For
once, I got to go by myself.
During theater, Walker and I combined a couple of folders into
reference material we expected to want during the interview. We
used paper clips to keep them organized. Then, the last forty
minutes of class dragged by in a few hours, and school was over.
At least Walker was driving me, so I didn’t have to arrive all
sweaty or anything. Plus, I’d insisted he be there as well,
though he didn’t seem nervous.
Jim was there, which I really appreciated. He didn’t really
know the lady doing the interview any more than I did, but at
least he’d talked to her. More importantly, while we were doing
the introductions, he handed me a cup.
“Grande Pike’s Place roast, black?” he confirmed while handing
it to me.
“I love you,” I told him.
“Now, now, let’s not make Adam… or Debbie jealous.”
With coffee in hand, I didn’t feel any more confident, but
slightly more comfortable. It helped. And yes, I know what a
caffeine addict is, but it gets me through the day.
The reporter explained to us that they’d already shot some
material. She walked us through what to expect and the general
order we’d do things. Coach Hall came out while she was doing
that, and then they told us we were ready to start.
The camera panned around for a moment, while the reporter
explained where they were, then it focused in on her.
“Last Friday, the parking lot of this dojo saw action of a
different type, when it hosted a candlelight vigil for Jacob
Landon, a recent suidice victim. Today, we’re here to speak
with the young man who organized that vigil, and who has other
plans to remember his friend, Sieger Carlsen.”
I did everything I could to ignore the lights, the camera, and
to focus on the reporter, as I’d been told.
“Thank you for being with us, Sieger.”
“Thank you for having me.”
“So, I understand you and Jake were close friends, but that you
really didn’t know him that long?”
I nodded.
“Jake was one of the first people I met when I moved to the
United States, but that’s only been a few months ago. He and I
did become quick friends.”
“And you met here?”
“Ja. We were in the same class and we often warmed up together
and paired with each other for our workouts.”
“Could you tell us what happened with him?”
“We just don’t know for sure,” I told her, and went on to
explain the situation and what we did know. I drew to a
conclusion, and she nodded.
“So while we might never know everything that was going on, it
sounds like the police believe cyberbullying played a large part
of it?”
“That is true, as far as it goes, but it’s not the only truth.”
“Oh,” she said, sounding interested and a bit shocked, which was
good acting, since we’d discussed this as well as everything
else.
I nodded.
“I have my beliefs about this situation, but it’s based on
things I’ve been told. As I said earlier, I’ve only lived here
about three months. However, the person who told me about it is
Walker Wright. Maybe you should talk to him for a minute?”
Walker stepped forward right then.
After exchanging greetings and introducing himself, Walker
launched right into his topic.
“I’ve been a student at our local high school for four years,
and I’ll be graduating in just a few months. During the time
I’ve been there, Jake is the eighth student we’ve lost to
suicide. Now, as Sieger said, we don’t know Jake’s sexuality
for sure, or if it played a role in what happened, but we do
know that, of the other seven students, at least five of them
were on the rainbow. The saddest thing is that our school has
nothing in place to support students who aren’t hetero/cis.
People have tried to start such an organization, but a few years
ago, a set of rules was put into place for various good reasons,
but the result was to basically stop the creation of new student
groups, including groups that could offer support to students
who are struggling with personal issues and don’t know where to
go or how to find help.”
The reporter questioned him a bit, and he went out of his way to
stress that he wasn’t accusing the school of any type of
discrimination or bias, and, by doing that, he made it very
clear that’s exactly what was happening.
As I recognized the point they were approaching, I put down my
drink, picked up the folder and selected a file from it, then
waited.
“So what would you like to see done?”
I stepped forward again, and Walker faded back.
“However good the reasons for the school’s current policy, I
think we can agree that it has resulted in some harm. To that
end, we have a couple of things we’re doing. First of all,” I
said, holding up the file and spreading the pages, so they could
be seen, “we’ve reached out to a number of organizations that
already exist, which we hope can give us some guidance in how to
set up a chapter and get things moving properly. Maybe, in that
kind of situation, the school would see fit to - not alter their
rules, but to allow an exception, perhaps? And if not, we’re
reaching out locally for other aid. It would be ideal for us to
be organized through and at the school, since the students are
already there every day, but if we can’t have ideal, we hope
that good will be better than nothing, so we’re trying to find
someone else who could sponsor us and provide meeting space. If
not, we’re hoping to at least find someone who can help us with
a fundraiser outside of school, so we can meet the school’s
rules and get things rolling there.”
With that, I stepped back with Walker, and the camera focused in
on the reporter, who wrapped things up. After that, she thanked
us, while they started breaking down their equipment. Walker
apologized, but he had homework so he couldn’t wait for me. I
assured him that was fine, and reminded him I wouldn’t be going
to the comic store tomorrow. I said goodbye to Jim, then I was
finally able to go in, change, and get in a workout, which I
really needed.
#Post#: 30479--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 2:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Walker and Adam were waiting for me when I got to school the
next morning. The interview was already up on the local news
website, and they’d cross-posted it on some social media pages.
It was hardly going viral, but it had gained some attention.
We watched it together, and it looked pretty good. They had
recorded a bit with Coach Hall talking about Jake, and a bit
with Jake’s parents, as a lead in. Someone had also recorded me
talking at the vigil without letting me know, so I had to watch
that. Adam swore my accent wasn’t too bad, though I’m not
positive he’s an unbiased judge.
Of course, there is a downside to drawing attention. Walker and
I were both called into the office before lunch. Fortunately,
Walker had thought this might happen, and I’m still pretty
paranoid about America, so I would have bet my allowance on it.
We were prepared.
The principal started off by accusing me of being a troublemaker
and threatening to expel me. I apologized that he thought so,
but let him know that wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t like
that much, and said they didn’t have to ‘tolerate me disrupting
the school’, I believe was his statement.
“I’m sorry, but are you actually saying that me having an
emotional reaction to my friend’s suicide was ‘disrupting
school’ or do you mean when I defended myself and my friends
from bullies who had already hurt them?”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I’m talking about
that ridiculous interview you gave last night.”
“First of all, you have little right to worry about what I do or
do not say off campus and in my own time. Even according to the
fifth circuit, which did allow the Tinker test to be extended to
off-campus behavior in select cases, my behavior in no way could
be seen as causing disruption. While it was mentioned that the
school had standards that prevented new student groups from
forming, which actually violates our rights under the Equal
Access Act of 1984, we did not criticize those rules in any
way.”
If Mr Keegan had much sense, he probably would have stopped
right there. When someone starts quoting legal cases to refute
your arguments that they theoretically didn’t know you’d be
presenting, you should probably guess there are owls in the moss
and back off before you get stuck with your beard in a post box.
I had the feeling that I’d offended his dignity by questioning
his control, and the fact that he’d already had to back off once
about me, barely a week ago, apparently had him very riled up.
“You don’t tell me what rights you have,” he said, raising his
voice yet again and making me wish he used Listerine strips,
“you have the rights I decide you have when you’re on this
campus. I will…”
I held up my hand, and he stared at me in astonishment.
“What?”
“This is obviously not going to be productive. I’d like to go
back to class.”
“You’ll be lucky if you ever go back to class in this district.
What the…”
“I’d like you to contact my guardians and my lawyer before we go
on then. They’re expecting your call. I have my lawyer's card
right here with the number.”
As soon as he made it clear that wasn’t going to happen, I
leaned back, crossed my legs, smiled, and started translating
his rant into, first German, then French. I never was as good
at those as English and Norwegian, and I was worried about
getting rusty in them.
The slight smile and casual posture seemed to infuriate him,
which it was really meant to do. I let him rant at me a few more
minutes, ignoring him almost completely, until he paused.
“I’m returning to class now. This is a waste of our time. If
you feel like expelling me or calling the police,”
I paused while I reached into my pocket and removed my phone.
“Please be aware that I have a complete record of this
conversation, including you denying my basic legal rights even
exist, and refusing to contact my guardians and lawyer when I
asked, which I believe you’re required to do under Texas law.
You also continued questioning me when I asked for it to stop
and for you to contact them.”
I paused and made sure to look him right in the eyes.
“This program saves the recording directly to the cloud, so even
if you wanted to try to steal my phone and I let you, it would
do no good. May I return to class?”
Fortunately they’d called me out of class in fifth period. I
took my time walking back, stopped in the bathroom, and stopped
for some water, arriving only a couple of minutes before the
bell rang. I was worked up, the adrenaline was pumping, and I
knew I had to be really careful not to do anything even slightly
wrong right now.
Tanner sat down almost as quickly as I did. He’d brought a
matpakke of his own, and the two of us sat quietly, assembling
our sandwiches, after only a quick greeting.
I’d splurged on lunch, because I was sure today wasn’t going to
be a good day, so I had many of my favorites.
It took me longer to finish eating than normal, largely because
of people stopping by wanting to talk to me about the interview,
and a few wanting to stop by to call me names. While the video
still hadn’t gone viral, it had been shared by several of our
more social media savvy fellow students, and there were several
videos that had been seen by hundreds of people. Most of those
hundreds apparently wanted to stop by while I was eating.
Finally, when the visits seemed to have stopped and I’d finished
my lunch, I pulled forth dessert with all the respect and
reverence it deserved. A thick slice of Norwegian gold cake,
which I carefully topped with heavy cream, and then I spread
some of the cloudberry preserves Hilde had sent me for
Christmas.
I picked up my fork and prepared to dive into it, when I
realized I was the center of attention. Seven other pairs of
eyes had been watching as I gave the cake the respect it
deserved.
No one said a word.
I sighed and did the right thing, dividing the cake into eight
equal partitions and sharing it out to my friends.
After we’d all enjoyed our bites, we cleaned our table, and I
demanded everyone go with me for coffee. For once, they all
did.
Once everyone who wanted one had drinks, we gathered in a
circle, and I explained how cloudberries are mostly found in the
wild, in arctic marshes, which explains why they’re so rare and
so expensive.
And at least the coffee shop had a slice of lemon-orange glazed
pound cake to sooth my lonely palate.
Before lunch ended, Walker and I found a secluded spot where we
could contact his parents and my guardians without worrying
about accusations of misuse of technology. After that, we
shared copies of the audio files of our discussions with the
principal, so we each had both copies of both conversations.
Then we shared those files with the First Amendment lawyer Dee
had found who’d been willing to discuss the issue with Mr.
Keegan, if it became necessary.
I was finally able to relax and start getting back into the
swing of things, only worrying a little bit about the other shoe
dropping. Of course, I started tensing out again when I
realized that auditions were in only two days, and I hadn’t even
started practicing yet.
Sigh.
After school, I stayed with Walker long enough to greet everyone
going to the comic store, and then I left to meet with Kevin who
gave several younger members of the youth ministry a ride every
week.
Once we were all there, I squeezed into the back with a couple
of girls. Kevin was playing something that was apparently
Christian hip hop, something which I’d never actually known
existed, and really could have lived without ever knowing it.
On the other hand, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the death metal
Pappa had sometimes listened to, so I mostly tuned it out and
enjoyed the ride.
Kevin was explaining to me what would be occurring, when Monty
saw me and waved. He was with another priest, who turned out to
run their youth ministry, and he came over to introduce himself.
“Father Samuel Ford,” he said, holding out his hands. “Sam.”
“Sieger Carlsen. How do you have it?.”
“Excuse me?”
I blinked.
“Sorry, sometimes I slip into direct translations when I’m
tired. I mean… uh, pleasure to meet you, How are you?”
He smiled.
“Monty said you speak very good English, but you’re actually
Norwegian?”
“Norwegian-American, as everyone keeps reminding me. But I grew
up mostly in Norway - never lived anywhere but Europe until a
few months ago.”
“Well, I am fine, thank you, and it’s a pleasure to meet you as
well.”
I was blushing, and not quite sure he wasn’t making fun of me,
but he was so nice about it, I just couldn’t take offense.
Between Kevin and Sam, they gave me a run down on what to
expect, and showed me around their Youth House, which included a
place for people who needed help with homework, or were just
tired of having to sit home, alone every day to work on it.
Sam excused himself because it was about time to get things
started, but he encouraged me to help myself from their snack
board, where Kevin already was. They presented an excellent,
healthy selection, and I quickly helped myself to some sharp,
white cheddar, wheat crackers, a pear, and some sparkling grape
juice to chase it all.
Janet and I saw each other, and she waved at me, so I sat down
next to her. She asked why I’d been pulled out of our maths
class, and I was trying to explain it without going into too
much detail, when Sam suggested we open with a prayer.
One of the older guys, who must have been a senior, or maybe
even a college student, led the prayer, and then Sam spoke
again.
“Most of you know that our youth ministry has four main goals:
to help each of you as you transition from childhood to
adulthood, to answer your spiritual questions, to identify those
of you who have a calling for the ministry, and help you develop
it, and to help all of you learn to make a difference in the
world. Today, we have a guest who is trying to do just that.
Sieger, could you stand up please?”
I didn’t want to stand up. I wanted to sink into the ground. I
wasn’t trying to make a difference in the world. I was just
trying to do something for my friend's memory.
Still, I stood.
There was a polite, murmured greeting, with a few waves, and I
was allowed to sit back down.
From there, the lesson got more comfortable, as we talked about
suicide, recognizing when people were having problems, and
different ways to reach out. Okay, it wasn’t comfortable, but
at least I wasn’t feeling humiliated by the topic.
After the discussion, everyone broke up to play games. Janet
and Kevin invited me to play Uno with them, which I hadn’t
played for a while, and it was quite a bit of fun.
When our first game ended, they decided we had time for another,
but Monty interrupted and asked if he could borrow me.
“Let’s see. I guess first should be, it was good to see you
Sunday morning, what did you think?”
“Well, it was good. I’ve never really been an every Sunday type
of person, but it felt good to be there. Honestly, it was a bit
different than what I’m used to, but I’m not sure if that was
Episcopalean versus Lutheran, or American versus Norwegian.”
Monty nodded and smiled.
“I can see that,” he said. “Everything must be a bit of culture
shock for you.”
“You don’t know the half of it. Everything seems so nice and
calm compared to what I expected when they said I’d have to move
here. Then I see someone walking down the street with a gun,
and I assume I’m about to die.”
He nodded again, without the smile.
“I can understand that. I’m from the U.S., and that still
disturbs me. Do you watch a lot of American TV and movies over
there?”
“Oh, yes. Sometimes I think that’s why we take so much English
in school.”
That drew a small laugh.
“So, have you spoken to Whit again? Are you doing okay?”
“Yes, and fine. Whit called… Monday afternoon, I guess. He
asked how I was doing, and said he could see me for a couple of
follow-ups with no charge, if I wanted. I don’t really think I
need to see him, but I also know I’m not the best judge of that,
so I’m going to see him next Monday, and let him decide how he
thinks I’m doing.
“As for me,” I continued, “I really do think I’m doing okay.
I’m tired and stressed, but I made sure not to plan anything for
Saturday, except my MMA training, so I can get some extra rest
and catch up on some reading.”
“That’s a good plan,” he agreed. “It seems obvious you get
plenty of exercise, and making sure you get enough rest is
important.”
“And honestly,” I answered, “I think getting through the funeral
helped.”
“Yes, as hard as they can be,” Monty pointed out, “they give us
closure and a real chance to grieve. That’s important for
people to have.”
I nodded, and we spent a moment in silence before he spoke
again.
“From watching you earlier, I have the feeling you don’t want to
discuss this, but I’ve seen the interview you gave.”
I tried not to squirm.
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it. I’m just kind
of…”
“May I take a guess?”
I was a bit nervous about this, but I shrugged, then nodded.
“I think you’re very passionate, and you tend to be direct, but
you’re also a bit modest. That ends up putting you in a
position where you draw attention on yourself, then end up
regretting it.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I said the only thing that
came to mind.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who’d accuse me of being
modest before.”
“Be that as it may,” he replied. “I was actually going to ask
about ideas you’ve had for fundraising.”
“The problem with fundraising is, unless you’re just going to go
around begging for money, it comes down to either doing
something that people will pay to come to, or selling something.
For selling, you have to have something to sell, which usually
calls for either a sponsor or money up front. For an event, we
have to have a venue - someplace to hold it - and honestly, most
ideas we had are going to cost money.”
I paused.
“I had really wanted to put on a production of Spring Awakening,
maybe Rent…”
“Those would certainly be relevant to this situation,” Monty
said, shocking me that he was even familiar with them.
“Yeah, but even if they gave us the license, and it would take
time to get that, and we couldn’t start doing anything until we
heard from them, you’d still have to have money for costumes and
props. And that still leaves the question of venue.
“Once upon a time, dances were a big thing for schools. I
suppose they’re rather passé these days, but maybe that would be
a point in their favor.”
“Yeah, but that brings us right back to venue,” I answered,
turning to look out the window.
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “I can certainly see your problem.
It’s too bad you don’t know someone - a priest or someone - who
believes in your cause and has access to a community center that
could host a few hundred people.”
I snorted.
“Yeah, that would certainly solve a lot of…” I paused. “Isn’t
sarcasm a sin, Father?’
“Not even venial, my son.”
Monty explained to me that this was not a one hundred percent
done deal yet, but his rector - who is the person who runs the
local church - had approved it, but wanted to check with their
bishop before we actually began planning it, since it did
involve helping an outside organization.
Even so, it was a huge weight off my mind. It meant I could
take a couple of days and pretend this was actually going to
happen. Beyond the actual approval, Monty had four major
concerns that we needed to think about. He discussed those with
me, so I could be thinking of solutions, though he already had
an idea for some of them.
With that, and feeling a great deal of relief, I went to rejoin
the other guys, and found Kevin getting ready to depart.
*****************************************************
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