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DIR Return to: All-American Boy (a novel by Jack Wells)
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#Post#: 30459--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty
By: Jack Date: February 24, 2025, 11:32 pm
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I called Emil and his parents as soon as I woke, to wish them a
God Jul. They quickly informed me that their Christmas gifts
had arrived, and Emil even showed me the box, to prove they were
waiting until that night to open it. Then Hilde suggested they
should open that one while I could watch.
Hilde was excited by the selection of food stuffs I’d sent,
though she complained that I’d spent too much. Magnus loved his
book - the History of Soccer in the U.S., which I’d known would
fascinate him. And Emil… Emil held up the bracelet of lapis
lazuli.
“It’s beautiful, vennen.”
I wanted to tell him I’d selected it because it matched his
eyes, but somehow that felt like I was cheating. I’m not even
sure whom it felt like I was cheating on, but it didn’t feel
right.
Between my being shirtless and the state of my hair, it must
have been obvious that I’d called them first thing, and they let
me go soon enough. A glance out the window showed it was dark
and drizzly, so I skipped my run, cleaned up, and went to
scavenge breakfast.
I didn't watch Cinderella. It just didn’t feel right to watch
it myself, or to force someone who wouldn’t understand it to
watch with me. Instead, I did a full weight workout and
stretch, then picked up my new Christmas gift and started
reading Frankenstein’s Mobster.
After a while, Linda called me. She was just finishing putting
a cake into the oven, so I began preparing the Risengrynsgrøt,
while she worked around me on a broccoli and rice casserole.
When I joked about Dillon being in the living room while we
cooked, he responded that he actually had to wait until we
arrived, since his mushroom gravy worked best fresh, and was
always in high demand.
At home, since Mamma worked for the State Department, I had
sometimes had to appear at embassy functions, so she had always
made sure I had a selection of nice clothes. Linda had said I
should ‘dress up just a little’, and I didn’t want to embarrass
her, so I not only showered and used a little mousse in my hair,
but I even shaved a couple of days early. It did occur to me
that my hair was really starting to get a bit long, and I needed
to find a place to get it cut here. A pair of beltless,
mid-rise, slacks in taupe, a lightweight,sweater I could wear
tucked in, in an oatmeal heather, my heather brown sports
jacket, and burgundy bass weejuns to finish (worn with black, no
show socks, of course). It might be a family gathering, but I
intended to leave a few Americans drooling over Norwegian style.
Until disaster struck.
“I need a tailor!”
“You look beautiful.”
I looked at her.
“I’m a boy. I’m veldig kjekk. And that doesn’t change the fact
that I need a tailor.”
“Well, your clothes aren’t boys and they are beautiful. Why do
you think you need a tailor?”
“Look at that,” I replied, pointing down. “You can see my legs.
And here,” I added, extending my arm, “you can see my…”
I tapped that bumpy spot on my wrist, and realized I didn’t even
know what to call it in Norwegian, much less English.
“That, you can see that.”
I don’t consider myself a violent person, but I really wanted to
hit Dillon when I realized he was smothering laughter in a
cushion.
“I think… “ DIllon managed to choke out, “I think she means
you’ll be fine for this evening, and we can find you a tailor
soon. Will that do?”
I nodded.
“The jacket is bespoke.”
“Wait, what?” Linda added, sounding surprised, which left me
confused.
“Jakken er skreddersydd? Skreddersydd? Ja, custom made. That
is bespoke, isn’t it?”
“Wow,” she replied, “That is a very nice jacket. Thank you for
wearing it for my family. Let me see your sleeves.”
I held my arm out.
“Yes, there is plenty of room to let this out some. We’ll take
care of this soon, honey. Just remember, you’re a growing boy,
and, unless you quit working out, I think we’ll need to replace
this soon anyway.”
Okay, I have to be honest here. I’d heard Dee teasing? Linda
about some of her family. Before Thanksgiving, when he told her
to let it be my decision, he’d said something about me and some
of her relatives being - not oil and water, but gas and matches.
I walked in half expecting Uncle Cletus to be playing Dueling
Banjos while the brothers from Wrong Turn cooked dinner.
It really wasn’t bad. No one was carrying a gun. At least not
in the open. There were several beers around, but no one seemed
drunk. Apparently my relief was a little too obvious, since
Linda nudged me in the ribs.
“Not as bad as you feared?”
“Not yet,” I muttered darkly, drawing a laugh from Dillon, who
earned a dark look of his own from Linda.
We put the food we’d brought in the kitchen, then Linda
introduced me around to everybody. There were actually several
people there about my age. Besides some little kids, there was
a boy and girl in middle school, a guy who was a college
freshman, and two girls and a guy in high school. I guessed
they’d been warned about me, because they were pretty cool about
a new kid showing up. I was the only one wearing a jacket, but
the other two guys my age were wearing long-sleeved, collared
shirts, so I wasn’t too far off.
Maybe I was a little paranoid, but I think Linda had warned
people about me having a breakdown a few days before, because no
one would leave me alone. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s
just, if things got quiet around me, or if I started feeling a
little down, it seemed like someone was right there. I half
expected one of the guys to go with me when I needed to take a
pi‍ss.
Still, I didn’t really get down. I would have liked to be a bit
more quiet, but it wasn’t just the other young people talking to
me. One old lady, I think she was Linda’s aunt, came over and
talked to me for a while about traveling in Europe and how we
celebrated Christmas at home. She was one of the few people I’d
met who really seemed to get that, just because my Mom was a
American citizen didn’t automatically mean I was somehow full of
American culture by osmosis.
Dinner was good, and, if it seemed weird to me for a holiday
meal, I’m sure mine would have seemed the same to them. Can you
believe they had brisket, and ham, and three types of fowl, but
no fish? The worst thing was, they had so much food that I
barely even got to sample everything that looked interesting,
much less overeating on any one thing. The best thing was, all
the teenagers got to have either one beer or some wine with
dinner, and someone had made the effort to find an authentic
juleøl - Christmas beer. I’m not even going to try to keep
names straight, but one of Linda’s uncles took a bottle for
himself, and informed me that it was a spiced, dark ale.
Whatever it was, it was delicious and tasted like juleøl,
especially since I’m still way too young for Akevitt. At least
Jan rarely minded me sneaking a little beer.
They had almost as many desserts as they did of everything else.
And maybe it was just to be polite, but almost everyone at
least tried my Risengrynsgrøt. Most everyone said they liked
it. I certainly loved the peach cobbler with ice cream that I
ate.
I did miss some things. At home, Julaften was just for
immediate family. I didn’t let myself think about missing momma
and pappa, though it was hard not to think about them when I
thought of dancing round the tree. I did think about missing
the Church bells announcing the start of the holiday, about the
Sølvguttene concert, and, as stupid as I’m sure it sounds to
Americans, singing Musevisa - the Mouse Song.
When everyone had finished eating, we actually did sing some
Christmas carols. They knew many, many of them, but I knew
enough in English to feel included. After we’d sung for a
while, Linda’s mother said it was nearly time to open gifts, and
she asked me what kind of Christmas music I liked best. I
mentioned missing Sølvguttene - The Silver Boys Choir - and her
oldest son snapped his fingers. He put on a CD of something
called Libera, which was also a boys choir, though they sang
mostly in English and some Latin. They were a very good
substitute.
All the grandkids got two gifts each. I sat back to watch the
unwrapping. Since I am enebarn - without brother or sister - I
wasn’t used to seeing other young people open their gifts. I
still didn’t get the chance. It turns out I actually had
presents under the tree. I still wanted to wait and watch the
youngsters. I’m pretty sure the threats against my life if I
didn’t hurry and open my own were mostly joking, but I decided
not to risk it.
The one I was told to open first was a book called Crazy
English. Reading the back of it, I saw some jokes we’d told in
English class back home. There were others I hadn’t heard
before, and I was sure I’d do a lot of laughing reading it. The
second gift, I wasn’t sure what it was, so I unwrapped it
carefully, revealing a picture frame. I flipped it over and saw
two pictures, side by side. One of them was of Pappa and Mamma
and myself, dressed formally, and obviously at Dillon and
Linda’s wedding. The second picture was of all five of us
together.
“I hope you like it,” Linda’s mother said. “Those were from
pictures I took with my own camera, and I didn't see any like
those in the wedding photos. Dillon helped me pick out the
frame.”
I stood and walked over to her, dropping down on my knees to
wrap my arms around her.
“Tusen hjertelig takk!” I told her. “It’s wonderful.”
I think I shocked her, but she wrapped her arms around me and
patted me back.
Some of the kids were playing with their presents as they went,
so I was still able to watch a few unwrappings. Then everyone
gathered around me to examine my gifts and show off their own.
Soon enough, the festival began to break up. I’m pretty sure
that saying goodbye took as long as anything else we’d done all
evening. A definite good point about not having a driver’s
license is that I didn’t have to stay awake on the way home.
#Post#: 30460--------------------------------------------------
Re: All-American Boy
By: Jack Date: February 24, 2025, 11:41 pm
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Christmas Eve had been nice in a loud, rowdy type of way, but
Første juledag, the First Day of Christmas, or what Americans
call Christmas Day, was much closer to what I was accustomed.
For once, Dillon was awake before me, and I helped him prepare a
breakfast casserole. Linda woke while we were doing that, so we
made coffee once the casserole was baking, then we opened gifts.
Not knowing them that well, I’d asked each what I should get the
other, which is why Dillon got a new pair of house shoes, and
Linda got a set of scented bath soaps. As for myself, I should
have guessed. I also got a nice pair of house shoes, which is
good, since mine were nearly falling off my feet. I also got a
few pair of ‘lounge pants’, or what I would have called pajama
pants, which were very nice, since I was now living with an
adult female who wasn’t my mom, and with whom I wasn’t
completely comfortable.
After breakfast, I did a ten kilometer run, then came back and
cleaned up. It takes a good ribbe three-and-a-half to four
hours to cook, so I put that in the oven as soon as I was
dressed in my new pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, then I plopped
down on the couch to read. Dillon and Linda were doing the
same, and there was a nice mix of Christmas music playing in the
background. All I really need to be koselig was a roaring fire.
Well, and maybe someone with whom I could cuddle.
We all napped after a late lunch, and later played some cards
and dominoes, before retiring to read some more. It wasn’t
perfect, but it was a really good day.
NAGA - the North American Grappling Association - usually ran
events on Saturday. Like, all day Saturday. They started
around eight in the morning and would run twelve hours. That
meant it was really hard to come in from other areas, even if
you were willing to make the trip. It was kind of nice this one
was taking advantage of the holidays. By taking advantage of
Romjul, they gave people a chance to come in from more areas.
Monday was a really nice day, so I rode my bike up to the gym. I
wasn’t looking to spar. I used the heavier weight equipment we
had up there, then ran drills until I was out of breath. I took
a break to go get a Jamba Juice, then went back and worked the
bags until I started to get that pleasant ache.
They really needed a sauna at this gym.
Instead, I took my time riding home, then spent a long time
soaking in hot water.
Tuesday afternoon is when we were leaving for the tournament, so
I decided I could skip a workout, and just did my regular
stretching and run. After breakfast, I went ahead and packed.
Unless something went really wrong, we should be home tomorrow
night, since the youth divisions always finished up first.
Coach Hall was competing, but Mark was driving the van, so we
wouldn’t have to wait if Coach did well.
Just in case, I packed an extra pair of boxers, socks, jeans,
and a t-shirt, in case we did stay or I spilled or something. I
decided to wear my Norwegian flag rash guard, which meant my
dark blue MMA shorts to match. The only boxing shoes I had were
black, so they went, along with ankle socks. I looked at
everything, then added cup, compression shorts, and my mouth
guard. In my bathroom, I laid out my hygiene stuff and double
checked it all, then checked everything again and packed up.
Then I added my portable battery, an extra charging cord, and an
extra pair of earbuds, just in case.
I didn’t bother packing my gi. NAGA sponsors divisions for both
traditional judo uniforms - the gi - and for more MMA oriented
costumes - no gi, since some techniques actually do vary by
uniform. Since Coach’s gym does both BJJ and MMA, he doesn’t
really bother much with gi, unless he wants someone to get
specific practice in those techniques, which he usually only
does with advanced students. He’d talked to me about it, but we
hadn’t done anything yet.
Of course, Coach Hall had to have one last meeting before we
left, reminding us of the rules for the trip and the rules for
the tournament. When he was finished, we all loaded up. There
was plenty of room in the van, but Jake and I chose to sit next
to each other. It was about a four hour drive, so I’d loaded a
couple of movies on my tablet. I’d also downloaded the rules
for the tournament. As you can imagine, not living in North
America, I’d never participated in anything by the North
American Grappling Association. The tournaments I’d done in the
past had all been sponsored by the International Brazilian Jiu
Jitsu Federation, and the IBJJF had some really weird rules.
Neither of them allowed any striking, which is why I’d been
focusing on BJJ lately and ignoring Muay Thai - have to get out
of the habit of hitting people.
Since we’d have wifi for at least an hour or so before we got
too far out of town, we paired Jake’s earbuds, then I turned on
one of my playlists, while he looked through to see what he
wanted to watch, or if he wanted to download something else.
Jake and I watched You’re Next on the first half of the drive.
Neither of us had seen it and it was a good movie with a lot of
tension, and a great heroine. We stopped for dinner about
halfway down there at a place called Denny’s, which seems to be
as common as colds. On the second half of the trip, we watched
Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey. Jake had never seen it
before. I had, but it was enough fun that I didn’t care.
Jake and I were sharing a room. When we arrived, we grabbed our
bags and settled in. Jake had brought a little bluetooth
speaker, which we sat up to play some tunes, being sure it
wasn’t loud enough to disturb anyone, then we lay down and
talked.
I wonder if Jake was really not as much into role playing as
Walker and those guys, because he knew a lot more about it than
I did. He didn’t seem to be as into comics as Adam and I were,
but he knew about them, and had read enough to have favorites.
It’s weird, because, even though Jake and I had been friends for
months, we really don’t have a lot of chances to just talk.
Most of the time we’re together, it’s either at the gym or there
are other people around.
Were we talking about things I really liked about Texas? I
could have said him and Adam, but I didn’t want to be corny, so
instead I talked about the food. Of course, when it came to
pecan pie, he had to make fun of my accent. I decided to find
out if he was ticklish. Technically, it wasn’t jiu jitsu or any
kind of wrestling - it was just playing around. I tried to pay
attention to him, afraid he might find it offensive or get
scared, but he didn’t. He gave as good as he got, and the two
of us rolled around on the beds, and managed to make noise only
once, when we fell off and bounced on the floor.
We managed to keep it up for a good ten or fifteen minutes,
until we were both out of breath. It didn’t help that we were
both laughing. When he called ‘peace’, I just kind of collapsed
on top of him. I kept waiting for him to tell me to move, but
it never came.
I remember reading once about ‘skin hunger’. I think that’s
what this was. As scared as he was to admit it, I think Jake
was starving for touch - any kind of touch. Not sex, at least
not just sex, but just for someone to hold him or touch him in a
friendly way.
Finally though, I had to admit the truth.
“I’m too tired to move, but too hot to stay here,” I said,
rolling off him.
“Thank goodness,” Jake replied. “I was burning up, but I was
too tired to push you off. Besides, I could barely breathe with
your big ass on top of me.”
“Hey,” I snapped playfully, “You want another go at this?” I
asked not even realizing the double entendre until later. I
guess he missed it as well, since he just held up a hand and
shook his head.
After a while, I thought about something that had been bothering
me, but there had never seemed like a good time to ask.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“Aren’t you sixteen already? I mean, you have your blue belt.”
“Yeah,” he replied.
“Why don’t you have a driver’s license?”
Jake had rolled up on his elbow to watch me, but now he fell
back to the bed.
I shrugged.
“You don’t have to tell me, if it’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s not like that. It’s just… I have my learner’s permit,
and I did behind the wheel over the summer. My birthday’s at
the end of September, and that’s when I was supposed to take my
test, but I got in trouble and Dad wouldn’t let me.”
That seemed like cutting off your nose to spite your face, since
it just meant his parents had to keep driving him around, but no
one ever said parents had to be logical. Or even rational.
“How about you?”
“Huh? Oh, you mean my license?”
I explained to him about the age difference between the U.S. and
Norway, and why I hadn’t bothered yet.
After that, we just lay next to each other, listening to the
music. We weren’t touching, except maybe brief brushes when one
of us shifted. I could tell he was there, but that’s it. We
were just quiet and enjoying the stillness.
Suddenly, I wasn’t even sure what time it was. I wondered if
I’d fallen asleep or something.
“Jake?”
“Huh?” he started, making me wonder if we’d both dozed off.
“Do you shower in the morning or at night?”
I could feel him shrug.
“Just depends. Both sometimes. You?”
I nodded.
“A lot of times both. I like to shower at night to make sure I
don’t go to bed sweaty, but I like to shower in the morning to
get ready for school.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “About the same for me, depending on like
how hot it is and what I’ve been doing.”
“You going to shower now?”
He thought about it for a minute.
“Nah, showered before we left for the dojo. You?”
“Same. What time should we set our alarm for the morning? I’m
about ready for some sleep.”
The two of us stayed there a moment longer, and I suddenly
wondered if I should tell him I was gay. I didn’t have to tell
him that I knew he was. I could just tell him I wanted to talk
about Emil. Would that scare him, or would it make him more
comfortable with me.
And something else. I know I loved Emil, and I know I liked
Adam a lot, but I liked Jake a lot as well, and of the three, I
think Jake might have been the best looking. If I told Jake I
was gay, was it going to just cause even more trouble?
Before I could make up my mind, he stood up.
“Hey,” he said, as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. “It was
your idea, and you’re on my bed. Move it.”
Since I heard him using the toilet, I took my time, but by the
time he flushed, I’d unpacked my toiletry bag and stripped to my
boxer briefs. He looked a little shocked when he came out of
the bathroom, but I treated him like any other guy I wasn’t
trying to get into bed, and just acted casual.
I took a leak myself, then washed my hands, and did my face
cleaning routine. When I finished, I looked up to see Jake
standing there in nothing but his Hanes. I stepped aside so he
could use the sink while I flossed and brushed.
I waited for him to climb into bed before turning off the
lights, then listened to him toss and turn for a while before
asking, “Do you need me to tuck you in?”
“Screw you, Sieger,” he replied.
“Good night to you too, Jake.”
The tournament started pretty early the next morning, so we
didn’t have much time to play around. We showered, so we’d at
least start the morning feeling fresh, dressed, packed up, and
were out front five minutes before the coach had told us to be.
We stopped at Denny’s again. We had a good idea how long it
would be until matches started, so I had a vegetarian omelet
with some fresh fruit and a whole grain English muffin. I also
had a cup of their drip coffee, which was nearly enough to make
me regret taking this trip. I chased that with juice and water,
but it didn’t help. We rode to the arena mostly in silence,
only to find that there was a Starbuck’s there, so I was able to
get a grande cup of their brewed Pike’s Place roast, which
renewed my will to live.
I wasn’t worried about the weigh in, since I averaged pretty
firmly in the middle of my class (I’m welterweight, if you’re
curious). With NAGA, even if you miss weight, they just change
your division, so it wasn’t a huge deal like it had been back
home.
Right before start time, there were a lot of people stretching
or warming up, and a lot more just walking around. Finally,
they called the tournament to order, and we got started. Of
course, ‘getting started’ mostly meant dividing men from women,
gi from no-gi, and the kids, from the teens, from the adults,
and then herding us all to our separate areas. After that, it
was hurry up and wait. These kinds of tournaments start slow,
but they’re single elimination, so they speed up quickly. Jake
is a bit smaller than I am, so we were in different weight
divisions, despite having similar experience. We were still
close to each other, though. It’s important not to be too noisy
or disruptive at this type of event, so he and I were wandering
around the edges, observing our potential competitors.
There were twenty-eight people in my division, which meant a
potential of five rounds, and a few people got first round buys
to even up the brackets. I felt sorry for my first opponent.
He was good, and he probably should have beaten me, but he
didn't seem to understand the scoring, and I was able to avoid a
choke or submission, so I won on points.
My second match was actually a lot easier. My opponent had
pulled off a takedown, but he put his hands on the ground at my
side for a moment, so I sat up and tried to lock in a Kimura.
He shifted aside and put his shoulder against my chest to break
it, but that just let me throw my arm around his head, and I had
a guillotine choke locked in, so the ref called it in less than
a minute.
The third round was almost sad. I had a regular mount, but he
managed to roll me, however, he also tried to twist up at the
same time, and I ended up, almost by accident, with a straight
armbar, and he had to tap.
My fourth round was the best one, I think. I’d watched this
fellow - Nemith or Nesmith, I think. He was a high school
wrestler, and he’d won every one of his previous matches on
points. I hadn’t seen him try a choke or submission, but he
moved in, took down his opponents, and then controlled them the
entire match, winning on points. That meant he was fighting
five minute rounds, but he seemed to have excellent cardio. He
hadn’t started with the same take down twice yet, but I had seen
one mistake he tended to make. He did take me down, but I was
able to get a Gable grip on his arm and arch him onto his back.
I don’t know what would have happened if he’d been able to
grapple again, but I’d held onto his right hand, and was able to
lock in an Americano for the win.
I was really keyed up at this point. I hadn’t expected to win.
I’d gone looking for fun and experience, but the way they had
the divisions set up was working for me pretty well. Trying not
to be too excited, I sat down and tried to meditate, looking for
my center and ground.
Jake’s division was a bit smaller than mine, and he was already
through. He’d placed third though, and he was pretty happy with
that. He came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders for a
moment. Then they called my last match.
My fourth round was good, but my last round was crazy. My
opponent seemed like a cross between a monkey and a greased pig.
We kept trading takedowns and controls, but neither of us could
lock anything in. He went for one rear mount, and I was able to
escape it and get back to my feet, then I took him down again.
It’s not exactly easy to check the time clock or scoreboard in
the middle of a fight, so I had no idea if I was ahead or not.
He escaped and rolled me, so I went into closed guard, but then
he made a move that made me think he was more used to Gi
competitions. I think he was going for a gi choke, but with no
gi, it slid right off. I was able to slide his hands at that
point and take control of his head. He still had a chance at
that point, but it was almost fifty-fifty, and he chose wrong.
When he shifted his weight to my right, I was able to shift my
left leg and grab my shin. He realized what was happening then,
and tried to get his feet under him or free his right arm, but
he either didn’t have the strength or the leverage to get me off
the ground, and when his knee came back, I was able to lock in
the triangle choke.
Incredible.
Of the people that came down with us, no one lost in their first
round, and the only people who didn’t place were two of the
youngest, newest kids, who were at their first tournament. I’m
sure Coach Hall was ecstatic, or would have been if he wasn’t
worried about his own fights, which were still going on.
After all the medals and belts were awarded, Mark took us out to
the van to get our stuff. There were no showers or anything,
but we all used wipes to clean up. I’m sure the van smelled
like an explosion at a body spray factory, but it was better
than smelling like sweaty boy in enclosed space for the next
several hours.
Jake and I had decided on a couple of other movies to watch on
the way home. We watched one until we stopped for dinner, and
finished it after we ate. As for the second one, well, it was
already dark, and we were tired and full, and the van was
rocking along the road. I didn’t notice Jake had fallen asleep
until his head slid over onto my shoulder. I kept trying to
watch, but I don’t think I lasted more than a few minutes
longer.
Back at the dojo, parents and guardians were awaiting us, and
were very excited. We dropped our bags in the respective cars,
but then I turned back to him. I walked over, then held out my
hand. He took it, but instead of just a shake, I used it to
pull him into me. We bumped shoulders, then I put my free hand
up, patted his back, and gave him a squeeze. Then I stepped
back, and he was smiling at me.
“Guess I won’t see you now until next Tuesday?” I asked.
“Guess not. You sure you don’t want to come to the New Year’s
Eve Party?”
The party was at the Baptist Church where his family attended.
While I’m sure most of the folks that would be there were nice,
probably some of them I knew from school, I still took a hard
pass.
“Thanks anyway. Happy New Year, bro.”
“Happy New Year.”
#Post#: 30461--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-two
By: Jack Date: February 24, 2025, 11:53 pm
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New Year’s Eve was quiet, and I was happy about that. Dillon
and Linda had been invited to a party. Walker and the gang had
a role playing game going. Jake had his church party. Of
course, Jake had invited me to go with him. Walker had invited
me to sit in on their game and join the party. Linda and Dillon
had offered to stay home. Heck, there were at least two other
school parties I could have attended. It’s not like I was
starved for choice. No, I really was happy to have a quiet
house to myself. I’m sure New Year’s Eve in Oslo and New Year’s
Eve in Dallas weren’t that different.
The real problem was, no matter how quiet the house was, it
wasn’t very quiet in my head. The thing is, I love Emil. I
know I love Emil, and I was sure he loved me. But, if I loved
Emil, how did I feel about Adam? Did I love Adam? Would I have
loved him if I’d met him first? And now, was I honestly feeling
the same way about Jake? Did I even know what love was, or was
I just horn‍y? Would any cute, gay boy who came along do?
Was I really that shallow? Did I not understand the difference
between love and simple friendship? Or was I really that
blessed with great choices?
Technically, in the U.S. - at least in Texas - it’s illegal to
drink if you’re under twenty-one, even with your guardians’
permission, unless they’re home to supervise you. I was
seriously considering the life of an outlaw.
Instead, I put on Dimmu Borgir’s Forces of the Northern Night
that he recorded with the Norwegian Radio Orchestra and Choir,
and went through a pretty heavy workout. Once I was tired and
sore, I drew a hot bath with foaming, lavender scented epsom
salts, and a couple of lavender candles. I turned off the main
lights, sank down as far as I could in the tub, and covered my
eyes with a washcloth.
It didn’t solve my problems, but it let me organize my thoughts
enough that they quit running in circles like a hamster on a
wheel. I stayed in the tub for quite a while, but when it
started getting too cool, I left, made a small plate of snack
food, and retired to my room to read until I got sleepy.
School started again just a few days after the New Year, and it
was back to the same grind. It wasn’t as bad this time. I had
the same classes, except for health, so I knew people, I knew
the classes and teachers, and I wasn’t starting at a homework
deficit.
I was a little sad about starting civics. Unlike health, it
was mostly seniors and a few juniors, which meant I didn’t have
any classes with Tanner anymore. He was a little chatterbox,
but he was a cute chatterbox, and he made for a fun start to
most mornings.
I didn’t expect that civics was going to be one of my favorite
classes. After all, l considered myself to be a Norwegian, and
I had no real plans to live in the States once I had an option.
I felt better about it once Blaine walked in, and I realized
this must be one of the classes he was student teaching. We
were far from actual friends, but I’d always gotten along with
him in gym class, so I thought he boded well for me being able
to tolerate this class.
The rest of the day was pretty standard. The only real
difference is that about half the teachers talked about their
goals for this semester or warned us about projects that would
have a major effect on our grades. I guess theater wasn’t
really any different, but it seemed that way.
Carrie started class by reminding us that the Spring Musical was
always done in coordination with the music department, and she
explained how that would affect us. When she was done with the
class in general, she had us break up into groups to start
working on some basic design ideas, but she pulled me aside.
“Here’s my problem, Sieger. Tony wants to audition for this
play. I’m fine with that, but you remember that he was my
technical director last fall. I’ve already selected Walker as
the student director - basically my assistant director. That
means I’m going to need a prop manager, a technical director,
and a stage director, and those are all positions with a lot of
responsibility and it needs someone I can trust. Do you know
what all those positions do?”
“Not really. Not exactly.”
“I have a homework assignment for you then.”
Carrie giving homework was rare, but not unheard of. It was
usually to make a point about something she considered really
important about theater, since she actually did have to give us
a final over something.
“Okay,” I replied with a shrug.
“I want you to look up those positions, define each of them,
then tell me which one you think you would be best at and
enjoy.”
“Me?”
“You did a great job last fall. You saved me a lot of work, and
you didn’t require supervision. I’ve spoken with Walker and
some of your other teachers. I think you’d be great. Don’t you
think so?”
“I hadn’t thought about it at all,” I replied honestly.
“Well, think about it and let me know. This isn’t something you
have to do, but I really do think you’ll be great, if you want
to try it.”
I thanked her for that, then went back to my table.
“Why didn’t you jump at it,” Walker asked, when I told him.
“For one thing, Adam and I have talked about auditioning
ourselves.”
“You and Adam, huh. Are you two…” he held his hands up and
bumped his index fingers together a few times while leering at
me. “Yet?”
“No,” I replied, trying to be stern, but mostly failing, “we’re
not.”
The start of school didn’t seem like a great week for anybody
really. Carrie wasn’t pushing me to make a decision on the
play, especially after I told her I was thinking about
auditioning, but she did tell me I had to decide soon. Adam and
I had planned to get together after school on Friday, but his
parents were griping at him about chores, and he cancelled, so
he could catch up on stuff and get them off his back. Jake was
okay on Tuesday, though his mom was there when we finished, so
we didn’t get a chance to talk. He didn’t even show up
Thursday. I didn’t remember seeing him at school, and I
probably should have called, but I had a ton of homework. The
only good thing about that first week is that it was a partial
week, so it didn’t have a full five days to make us crazy.
Adam finished his chores to his mom’s satisfaction late Saturday
morning, but by the time we could get together, it would have
been time for him to leave for his role playing game, so we just
decided to do it the next afternoon.
We’d already decided it would be best to go with Broadway songs,
but considering we were doing Loserville, we didn’t want to go
with anything too old fashioned. Adam really wanted to go with
“Soul of a Man”, but I felt like it wasn’t a great choice for
his voice. He was leaning towards “Into the Fire” from the
Scarlet Pimpernel, but I had joked he should do “Mein Herr” from
Cabaret, and he was seriously considering it.
“What are you doing?” Adam asked me.
“‘For Forever’, from…”
“Dear Evan Hansen,” he finished. “ Of course you are.”
I smiled.
“At least you don’t have to worry about learning the words.”
He was quiet a minute before he went on.
“Do you really think “Into the Fire” is my best choice?”
“I think it’s a good choice. Your voice isn’t quite as deep as
mine, but it’s strong. I think Fire really suits you, and I
doubt it’s one many people would choose , so it’s going to stand
out. You could probably do something like… “Being Alive” from
Company or “Not While I’m Around” from Sweeney Todd or even…”
“I don’t know that one,” he interrupted me.
I was pulling up the Sweeney Todd soundtrack and explaining why
Sondheim is great, but maybe too common to use in auditions,
when there was a knock at his door.
“C’mon in,” Adam called.
I found the album and was setting it to play when Jim walked
into the room.
“Sieger, could you sit down for a moment.”
Suddenly I felt sick. It was nine months before, and I had been
called to the office and told to sit down, when someone from the
Ambassador’s staff came into the room. I didn’t know what Jim
was going to say, but I was sure I didn’t want to hear it.
“Jake,” Jim started, then had to stop and clear his throat.
“Jake Landon hanged himself last night.”
#Post#: 30462--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Three
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:00 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Debbie was right behind Jim. Jim went straight to the bed and
sat down by Adam. Adam was looking as stunned as I felt.
Debbie came towards me, but I stood up and waved my hands at
her.
“No.”
“Honey,” she started.
“No, no. Not Jake. No! There’s nothing wrong with him.”
“Sieger, we can’t know…”
“Why would he do that?”
This time Jim spoke up.
“We don’t know much, boys. We just found out. Apparently he
hung himself last night.”
“But why!” I demanded.
“Dad,” Adam interrupted, “What happened?”
Jim draped his left arm around Adam and squeezed his son tightly
against him.
“We just don’t know right now. I don’t know if he didn’t leave
a note or what. His parents are very distressed right now, and
we just don’t know anything else.”
“But he wouldn’t,” I insisted. “He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t upset.
I just saw him yesterday!”
“I know, sweetie, I know.” Debbie reached out and took my
hands, and this time I let her. “Please, I know this is a
shock. Come sit down with us.”
This time, I let her pull me from where I was standing towards
the bed. She guided me to sit by Adam, then she sat down beside
me. Jim lifted his arm from Adam’s shoulder enough to pat mine.
Debbie reached across my back, pausing to rub it, then
stretched to touch Adam.
I’m not sure how long we sat there, but I suddenly realized I
had to get away from Debbie. I shrugged her off, then stood up.
I walked to Adam’s small window and looked out. It was already
dark. I wasn’t sure what time it was. I closed my eyes and
concentrated, and tried to remember what they’d told me in grief
therapy.
I called Dillon and told him what had happened. I assured him
that Jim and Debbie were with us. He wanted to come get me, but
I wanted to stay with Adam. It suddenly occurred to me that I
didn’t know how close he and Jake had been before they broke up.
I was pretty sure he’d told me that they’d done some sexual
stuff, but I couldn’t remember anything for sure. For all I
know, they could have been lovers for a long time before it
ended. I told Dee that I wanted to make sure Adam was okay
before I left. I guess he was worried about me, but he accepted
it.
I went to Adam’s closet and found a big, zip up hoodie I knew he
liked. I took it to him and draped it over his shoulders. He
glanced up without really looking at me, but he nodded and
snuggled it close around him.
I noticed Debbie was watching me, and I suddenly realized that
the way I’d gotten up was probably rude.
“I’m sorry,” I told her.
She shook her head.
“It’s all right.”
“He’s been crying a lot. He probably needs some water, and…”
“So have you, honey.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about, until I realized how
sore my eyes and nose were.
“It doesn’t matter. He needs something hot to drink. Not
coffee…”
“Soup? I have French Onion and Chicken Noodle. They’re canned,
but..”
“That’s fine,” I interrupted her.
She said something to Jim, then hurried off. I think she was
glad to have something to do.
I knew there was something else I should be doing, but I
couldn’t think of it. I finally turned around and walked away.
“Where are you going?”
I turned around again. Jim was holding Adam, but he was
watching me. I pointed to the bathroom.
“All right, but leave the door open.”
“But Debbie…”
“I won’t let her peek. Just don’t shut it all the way.”
I don’t know why he was worried about that, but if it made him
feel better...I left the door open a bit while I took a leak.
Then I looked in the mirror and washed my face.
Adam’s towel smelled of Irish Spring, but there was also a
slightly earthy undertone. It smelled good, and I just stood
there a long moment with the towel to my face.
“Sieger?” Debbie called.
“Just a minute,” I replied. I got a washcloth and ran hot water
on it, then wrung it out and got a hand towel.
I walked over to Adam and knelt down in front of him. He looked
up a little when I took his chin in my hand. He started to jerk
away when I touched the cloth to his face, but then he stopped.
I was trying to be careful as I wiped his cheeks. After a
minute, he took the cloth from me and started to do it himself.
Jim took the towel from me.
“You were right,” Debbie said as I stood. “He was thirsty.
Here’s yours.”
I didn’t really want any water, but she’d forced it into my
hand, and it was really good water. I drank it down, then put
the empty glass down beside the other one. She handed me a
thermos cup and pushed me towards the bed. I sat back down next
to Adam. He leaned towards me a bit, and I leaned against him.
I took a drink from my cup. French onion soup. It was good,
and I wanted a bunch, but it was pretty hot so I only took a
sip. The worst thing about thermos cups is they don’t warm your
hands like old-fashioned mugs do.
Adam was holding a cup of his own. He was watching me, and when
he saw me take a drink, he took one of his own. It seemed like
a good idea, so I had another.
Adam leaning against me felt good, so I took one hand off my cup
and put it around his shoulders.
I hadn’t even noticed Debbie leave, but she brought us back some
more water. Then Jim asked if I wanted him to take me home.
“No,” I said. “I need to stay here.”
It never even occurred to me that I should probably have asked
him if it was okay.
After a while, Adam asked if his parents could leave us alone.
I think they were reluctant, but they finally did.
Once they were gone and the door was shut behind them, Adam went
to the bathroom. When he came back, he sat at his desk, instead
of on the bed. I was going to give him a bit of space, until I
realized he was crying again. I went over and knelt in front of
him.
“I’m not going to ask what’s wrong, but…”
He looked at me, then shook his head. I took his hand, and just
stayed there. At first, I thought he was just crying, but after
a few minutes, I realized he was saying something. I leaned up
closer to him, and realized he kept repeating ‘It’s my fault.’
“Oh, vennen, it’s not. How could it be your fault?”
“He wanted to get back together, and I told him no. If I’d
just…”
“Adam!”
He stopped and looked at me.
“You can’t let yourself play this game. I did, and I was wrong,
it’s not healthy.”
“You did?”
I nodded.
“When my parents died, I blamed myself. I should have been sick
that day, so they wouldn’t have been driving. Or I should have
asked them to take me to school, so they would have been on a
different road. Or I should have done something. It took them
a while to convince me that it wasn’t my fault, that I couldn’t
have known, and that sometimes things just happen, and nothing
can stop it. It’s hard, because understanding that means we’re
ultimately powerless, but we can’t take blame for everything on
ourselves because we’re just human.”
He was at least listening to me, so I went on.
“The other thing is, you loved him. I listened to you talk
about him. I saw the two of you together when we went skating.
You offered to be his friend, but you couldn’t let him go on
abusing you.”
“He didn’t…”
“He did. You’re the one who told me he denied you in public,
and made you feel like you weren’t worth loving. If that isn’t
abuse, I don’t know what is. He wasn’t doing it to hurt you,
but that’s still what he was doing.”
“But…”
“But nothing, Adam. You called and asked him to go with us, and
we had a good time. You made it clear you were still willing to
be friends, if not lovers. I was his friend, and I told him he
could talk to me anytime. As much as it hurts, that wasn’t
enough to help whatever his problem was.”
Adam started crying again, but it sounded… healthier this time,
if that makes any sense. It was less anger and more grief.
I stood up and flipped through my phone for a playlist Emil had
helped me put together nearly a year ago. I started it, then
put it in Adam’s docking station. A second later, a group of
people started singing about ‘five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes.” I went to the bathroom, got some water,
then filled his glass and re-wet the washcloth.
When I got back, he was still crying, so I wrapped my arms
around him and held him tight. He jumped, but then hugged me
back, and we stayed there for a while.
When we finished crying, we cleaned up, shared his water and got
some more. It must have been a while, if I remembered the
playlist, because now Leonard Cohen was singing about God’s
Will. At least, Adam seemed to be doing a bit better, even if
he also seemed a little shy for some reason.
“Sieger,” he finally said, “I don’t want to be alone right now.
Will you stay the night?”
I nodded, and he turned away for a second.
“Will you sleep with me? Not sex!” he hurried to explain,
“just.. hold me.”
I nodded again.
#Post#: 30463--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Four
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:07 am
---------------------------------------------------------
There was a feeling of safety when I first woke; warmth and
comfort. Emil? No, the hair was too thick, too dark.
“Adam?”
“He’s a slow waker,” Jim said from behind me.
I’m not sure if my lack of reaction should make me proud of my
control or if it only showed how badly I needed some caffeine.
“Is that coffee?” I asked, nodding towards the mug he was
holding.
“Only drip, but it’s a decent blend. Think you can survive it?”
“Uhhh, I'll risk it.”
I tried to sit up, but Adam was holding my left arm and my right
arm was trapped underneath him. It took me a few minutes to get
them free, since he actually struggled not to let go. I finally
sat up enough to drink, and Jim turned his head and covered his
eyes, as he held the mug out to me.
“I’m wearing boxers. We just slept.”
The coffee wasn’t great, but it was close enough to heaven for
the moment.
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
“Yes. Family emergency. Now you boys need to make some
decisions.”
The coffee hadn’t really started taking effect yet, and I wasn’t
certain I was capable of making decisions for myself right now,
much less both of us. I reached over and shook Adam’s shoulder,
but he just whined and burrowed a bit further beneath the
comforter.
“I’ve never seen him sleeping with anyone like that before,” Jim
said, looking fondly at his son. “Would you hate me if I said
how cute the two of you are together?”
I shook my head.
“Would you hate me if I told you I took pictures before you woke
up?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Not if you bring me brewed
coffee next time.”
He smiled.
“Seriously now, are you awake yet?”
I shrugged, but then agreed that I probably was.
“You boys are going to have to make a decision. I was able to
talk to the principal already. They’re going to have an
assembly this morning, and there will be grief counselors at
school, probably all day. Everyone knows both of you were
friends with Jake, so if you don’t want to go, no one’s going to
make you. On the other hand, they’re probably going to make you
both talk to someone before they just let you run free.”
“We need to go today. Do we have time?”
I looked over at Adam, who was apparently more awake than I’d
thought.
“Yeah,” Jim answered, “it’s still early. The thing is, we’ll
probably have to take Sieger home to clean up and change. If
you get up and get going now, we can get breakfast on the way
in, and y’all should be able to make it with time to spare.”
We arrived home about the time I normally got back from my run.
I jumped in the shower and got cleaned up and dressed. When I
walked into the kitchen, it smelled heavenly. Jim had brewed
coffee for both of us, and Dee had toasted a bagel for me and
poured some of his Cheerios. I grabbed a banana to go with the
cereal, and sat down.
“I’m sorry you had to wake up early, Dee.”
“Don’t be,” he assured me, “it’s part of my job.”
“I’m also sorry I didn’t think to call you last night.”
“We knew where you were and what had happened. And Jim did call
us after you two fell asleep.”
It occurred to me, as I was eating, that I probably hadn’t had
anything but that soup since lunch yesterday. No wonder Adam
had placed such a huge order at McDonald’s.
“Well, I’m sorry anyway, and thank you.”
He nodded, and I turned my attention back to the food.
I was starving, and I added raisins to a second bowl of cereal
and had an apple before I was finished, and even then I wasn’t
full, but we were getting short on time.
Adam followed me to my bathroom, so we could brush our teeth. I
paused and looked in the mirror.
“Dritt!” I complained.
“What?”
“I meant to shave yesterday.”
He looked at me closely.
“What?” he said, pointing to the left of my upper lip. “You
mean this hair here?”
“Faen ta deg,” I replied.
“I looked that one up, Sieger. F‍uck you, too,” he said
affectionately.
Jim drove us to school, which made up for the extra time
breakfast had taken.
“I’m going to escort you two young gentlemen to the office, just
to be on the safe side.”
“What,” Adam complained, “you think we’re going to try to skip
out? We could have stayed home if we wanted to do that.”
“No, but I want the administrators to have you in their grubby
hands, in case they want to talk to you before the assembly or
anything.”
They did.
Actually, I don’t think they wanted to talk to us so much as Mr.
Keegan wanted to keep us from talking to anyone else. After
everyone was in first period, a special assembly was announced.
The vice-principal held us in his office that entire time, then
he escorted us to the gym. It hadn’t occurred to me, but we
might have been the only non-faculty who knew what happened.
Later, I learned that Jake’s mom had thought to call Jim and
Linda to let them know.
Once the principal was ready to begin the assembly, we were
allowed to go get seats. I was lost, but Adam knew where to
look for our friends, and he quickly led me to them. Most
everyone was looking curious, but I think Walker had an idea
what was going on, because when he saw us, he looked suddenly
relieved. Then startled, and a bit sick.
People made room for us, and Adam and I sat down. As soon as we
did, Tanner and Austin got up and came over, sitting right
behind us. Adam was talking to Walker, so I turned to the two
younger boys.
“Are you okay? We looked for you this morning, and saw you
going into the office.” Tanner blurted.
“Are you in trouble?” Austin added to his cousin.
I patted Tanner on his leg.
“No, we’re not in trouble. Just wait for them to…”
Right then, the microphone came on, and I glanced up to see Mr.
Keegan, the principal, walking up to the podium.
I held a finger up to my lips , then turned around.
Mr. Keegan started by announcing the death of a student. He
told everyone that Jacob Joshua Landon had taken his own life on
Saturday night. He went on to give a brief biography of Jake,
then called for a moment of silence. After that, he introduced
a lady - Mrs. Swinson - who I guess was the head counselor. She
spoke of dealing with grief and watching for signs of suicide,
then let us know that there would be grief counselors available
for anyone who needed help today. After that, we were all
dismissed to go to our homerooms.
I never even got into the classroom. One of the school resource
officers was waiting and she escorted me back to the office.
The police were waiting to talk to me.
I was suddenly worried.
“Do I need to call my guardians? Or the Consulate?”
“The Consulate?” one of the officers asked.
“I’m Norwegian,” I explained.
“He’s a dual citizen, so it doesn’t really apply,” Mrs. Swinson
clarified from behind me. “Sieger, you’re not in trouble, but
the police have to investigate unnatural deaths, including
suicides. They just want to ask you questions, since you knew
Jacob. We can call your guardians if you want, but it’s not
necessary.”
I agreed to at least listen to them, and they led me into a
room. Mrs. Swinson went with us.
“Your name is…”
“Joep ” I sounded it out for them. “Carlsen.”
“But you go by Sieger?”
“Yes, my middle name.”
“All right, Sieger. First of all, this is no big deal. There
doesn’t seem to be a question that he acted on his own. The
thing is, he didn’t leave much of a note, and we’re just trying
to see if anyone knows anything.”
I managed not to yell at them that, if I’d known or even
suspected anything, I would never have let him be alone. I took
a deep breath and reminded myself they were trying to do their
job. Instead, I explained how we knew each other, and the time
we’d spent together over the holidays.
“We don’t have any classes together and we have different
lunches, so a lot of times, I don’t even see him at school.
Ummm… Like I said, we take classes together at the dojo, and he
seemed fine Tuesday, but he wasn’t there Thursday.”
The officer nodded. “His mom said he didn’t feel good and asked
to stay home Thursday.”
“That’s it. He was there Saturday morning, and he seemed… I
dunno, down? about something, but we didn’t get a chance to
talk.”
“All right, the officer said. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you.
One last question. Can you think of anyone else we could talk
to?”
I guess I hesitated a moment too long, because the officer said,
“Sieger, if you know something that can clarify this, or of
someone else who might know something… Don’t you owe that to his
parents, or at least his memory?”
I steeled myself. I guess it didn’t matter now, but I didn’t
want to drag Adam or Walker into this without them knowing.
“Could I talk to someone first?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why don’t you just tell us?
Like we said, no one is in trouble for this.”
I took a deep breath.
“Jake was scared of his parents finding out he was gay.”
That shocked them.
“Are you sure about this?”
I started to say yes, then stopped.
“Actually, no. That’s why I wanted to talk to someone first.”
I started to explain the entire situation, then decided that was
way too convoluted. I thought about it for a second, and I’m
surprised they actually waited. Finally I just jumped into it.
“Adam Rowe is pretty much vennen min… My best friend here. He
and I have flirted a lot. He and Jake both seemed uncomfortable
that I was friends with both of them, and Adam finally told me
that he and Jake had been… intimate.”
“So all three of you are gay? Was this some kind of triangle?”
“No, Adam and Jake broke up last year according to Adam. I
never saw them together, except when they were both doing
something with me. I don’t think I would have suspected Jake
was gay, if Adam hadn’t told me, and that’s what I meant - I
don’t know that he is gay, I’m just told he was.”
The officer had been making notes in his pad, now he nodded.
“That could be it. The incidence of suicide in non-cis/binary
teens is higher. If he was worried about his family finding
out, that could have been a big stressor.”
The officer stood up, took a card from his pocket, and handed it
to me.
“Thank you for your time, Sieger,” he said, holding his hand out
to shake mine. “If you think of anything else that might help,
my number’s on that card.”
“I will,” I assured him.
After the police left, Mrs. Swinson gave me a chance to use the
bathroom and get some water. When I came out, she was gone, but
Coach Myles was awaiting me. I wasn’t sure if the head coach
waiting for me was a good thing or not.
“Howdy, Sieger. Coach Taylor tells me you’re thinking of trying
out for the track team?”
“I’d like to, Coach, but I’m in theater. I have to make sure
the track meet dates don’t conflict.”
The coach nodded.
“That’s fair. Now, if you’ll follow me, you have another
appointment.”
I was seriously starting to feel like I should have just stayed
in bed… Preferably cuddled up next to Adam.
“Sieger,” Coach said, opening a door to a small room with a
table and a few chairs, “this is Dr. Greenburg. He’s a grief
counselor who’s been brought in to work with the students today.
Do you need anything before I leave you to it?”
“Coffee?” I said, not quite pleading.
“Ah, yes. I’ve heard about you. For you, Doctor?”
“No, thank you.”
“I’ll be back.”
Dr. Whitaker ‘Call me Whit’ Greenburg was probably middle aged
with black hair, and a goatee that was just starting to show a
little silver. He stood up when I entered the room and shook my
hand, then gestured me to a chair.
Whit started by explaining that anything I said would be
confidential, unless I confessed to having or planning to abuse
a protected person, like a child or disabled person, or if I was
threatening or planning to hurt myself or someone else. Those
things he had to report. Anything else would be between us, and
he wouldn’t even tell my guardians. Then he asked if I’d ever
had therapy before, and I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I admitted I had.
All I can say is that someone should bless Coach Myles, who
picked that moment to return with a tall mug of coffee.
“This is from my private stash. I use pour-over, instead of
French press, but I think you’ll like it. Just leave the cup
here when you’re finished,and if you ever tell anyone I did
this, I’ll make your life miserable.”
“Thanks, Coach,” I said as he shut the door behind him.
“He must like you,” Whit said.
“He wants me to join the track team,” I responded, taking a sip
of what really was excellent coffee.
“So, now that you have your coffee, how long has it been since
your parents died?”
Faen! I thought I’d distracted him.
Learning that both of my parents had died only about eight
months ago, and that I’d had to give up my home and boyfriend to
move in with family I barely knew seemed to set off all kinds of
alarm bells for him. I thought mentioning that I’d already been
through grief therapy and understood how to cope would have made
things better, but I guess I didn’t think it through very well.
At least he didn’t seem phased by the idea that I was gay. He
seemed more upset that I hadn’t found a new church home in the
area.
Whit was very easy to talk to. He didn’t try to make me talk
about Jake. He listened when I talked about Emil and Håkon. He
asked if I felt betrayed, which I didn’t, since Emil had always
been honest with me. He laughed when I mentioned my idea of a
harem of boys. When I asked him what love really is, he played
one of those therapist games with me: instead of answering my
question, he made me tell him what I thought it was. Then he
asked me if I thought I’d been in love with Jake, which was
funny, because I didn’t think I’d even mentioned him.
I told him I knew I loved Emil, and I was pretty sure that I
loved Adam. I didn’t know Jake as well as I knew either of
them, and I did feel like Jake was… had been pretty repressed.
It seemed like it was hard to get to know the real Jake, but I
liked what I knew.
One funny thing about being gay that straights don’t have to
worry about is being compatible. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve
never heard straight guys worrying about what a girl might like,
beyond maybe position. With me, I gotta worry about if someone
is top, bottom, or vers? Are they interested in oral or
backdoor? To be honest, I’m mostly happy with making out, a
handie, and a whole lotta cuddles, but I know a lot of people
want more than that. Then again, as horn‍y as I am, I
think I’m kind of ace - or maybe I’m a bibliophile, since I
think cuddling and reading is pretty much a perfect date. Which
is all to say, I didn’t even know what Jake or Adam were into.
Whit was trying to get me to say I felt abandoned or something,
which I really didn’t. I guess I’d felt that way after Mamma
and Pappa died, but this was different.
“But that was an accident,” Whit said. “That’s not what
happened with Jake.”
“No, it wasn’t an accident. If I feel bad about anything, it’s
not that Jake left me.”
“Okay, what does bother you then.”
I had to think a second before I answered to make sure I was
saying it right.
“There’s really only one reason someone commits suicide; because
they’re in a situation that they can’t stand anymore, but they
don’t see a good way out. What bothers me is that he felt that
alone.”
Before Whit could really reply, there was a knock on the door.
It was Mrs. Swinson again, reminding us that we were in second
lunch if I needed to eat. It was hard to believe it had been
that long. I told her I did need to eat, but I had my matpakke.
Whit asked if we could have another fifteen minutes.
“I’m pretty happy with where you seem to be at, Sieger, but not
one hundred percent. I know you’ve had the grief therapy
before, and that you know the phases and warning signs, but
you’re still under a lot of stress right now. First of all, I’m
going to talk to your guardians…”
I looked up at him suddenly, and he held up a hand.
“Not about anything we’ve discussed. It’s just that they’re new
‘parents’, and I want to alert them to a couple of things to
watch for - nothing major, just little stuff you might not
notice, like how you’re sleeping and if you’re eating normally.”
He paused, and I nodded. That was fair enough.
“The other thing,” Whit continued, “is that I’d like to discuss
your case with someone else - maybe have them contact you, if
they think they can help.”
I wanted to say no, but Whit was a nice guy,and he was going out
of his way to be helpful, so I accepted and thanked him.
#Post#: 30464--------------------------------------------------
Re: All-American Boy
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:08 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Seventh period had started before Whit and I finished, so they
gave me a note that let me eat outside before I reported to
class. The best thing was, I caught them before they finished
closing the coffee shop, and they gave me a cup of coffee and
some ice for my Voss.
I guess I didn’t do too bad, since Adam still wasn’t in class
when I got to history. I wondered if he’d been called out at
the same time I had been. I wondered if he was going to be mad
at me for telling that he and Jake had been boyfriends at one
point. I gave Ms. Snow my pass.
“So far, we’re just having a general discussion today. Is there
anything you’d like to discuss?”
“I’m pretty well talked out.”
She nodded in understanding and waved me to my desk.
I wasn’t paying much attention to what they were discussing.
I’d slept well last night, but I was still kind of tired and…
tomt på tanken… the tank was out of gas.
Adam came in after a while. I watched closely to see if he
looked upset or mad at me as he crossed to Ms. Snow and gave her
his pass. As he walked to his desk, he looked straight at me.
He looked as tired as I felt, but he didn’t look mad at all. He
dropped his backpack, then leaned over and held out as his fist.
I gave it a bump, and he sat down.
We both sat quietly while the others talked. I was just
flipping through my book, and Adam was drawing in his notebook.
Soon enough, the bell rang, and we headed towards the gym.
We walked normally down the hall, Adam maybe just slightly
closer to me than normal. There was always a crush at the door,
but as soon as we were outside, between the buildings, Adam
leaned his shoulder into mine.
“You okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah, you?”
“I’m fine, but you seem worried about something.”
“I was afraid you’d be mad at me for telling them about you and
Jake,” I admitted nervously.
“Oh, is that what happened? I didn’t really think about how
they knew. I’m not mad. I only kept it quiet for his sake,
remember?”
“I still wasn’t sure if I should tell them or not.”
He thought about it a minute, then leaned far enough away from
me to shrug.
“Not a problem for me anyway.”
“I’m glad,” I admitted, and did feel better.
Apparently everyone who worked for the school had been warned to
wrap me and Adam in cotton, because Blaine was directing
everyone to go into the gym for roll call without suiting up.
However, when Adam and I stepped in, Coach Taylor called us
around the corner.
“You guys all right?” he asked.
We assured him we were.
“They told me not to work anyone out today, in case someone
wanted to talk to the counselors. I’d think by now, if someone
wanted to go, they would have, but…”
“Coach?”
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“I’m kind of thirsty, could I get a drink before roll?” I asked,
pointing at the vending machines, to be sure he knew what I
meant.
He thought for a second, then shrugged.
“Go ahead, but watch your trash.”
“Yes, sir. Thanks.”
I got a GatorAde for myself, and one of those blue PowerAdes for
Adam, and we went and took our places. After Blaine had checked
the roll, Coach Taylor stepped up and got our attention.
“I’m sure most of you have heard this several times today
already, but they tell me to say it, so I say it. There are
grief counselors available here, all day. If you start feeling
upset or worried after you leave today, all your teachers have a
number you can call to get help. You should have been given it
already, but if you don’t have it, it’s…”
He found a card and read the number off.
“We’re not going to work out today. If any of you want to talk
to someone, let me know and I’ll get you a pass. Otherwise, you
can sit and talk quietly. You can walk around in here. You can
step out to the machines if you want a drink, but come right
back in here and take care of your trash. Any questions? Then
knock yourselves out.”
Apparently word had gotten around that Adam and I were friends
with Jake. People started wanting to talk to us right away. I
tried to move over by him, but people followed me and were
already around him. We tried walking around, and we did for
long enough to finish our drinks, but people were still keeping
us company. I noticed there weren’t many people down on the gym
floor, so I pardoned myself and went down there.
It occurred to me that I’d grown used to the longer school days
in the U.S. At home, I’d been used to having free time almost
every day, even including my time at the dojo and stuff. There
was suddenly one thing on my mind I hadn’t thought of in a long
time, and I had time to do it and room, so… Why not?
I stripped off my shoes and socks, then my hoodie. After a bit
of thought, I added my t-shirt. Fortunately, I’d worn a fairly
loose pair of khakis, instead of jeans today.
I took a minute to stretch out, then I started with something
fairly simple. A couple of basic cartwheels just to get a feel
for the floor, then I did some in and outside crescent kicks, a
few hook kicks, and then I sped up and did a few one-handed
cartwheels. By that point, I was feeling a bit more
self-assured again, and I pulled two handless cartwheels in a
row. A bit more complex, and I tried a cheat 720, then a pop
720. I stopped when I heard some applause.
What I had been doing was not that impressive, yet there were a
number of people watching. I was pretty sure there weren’t that
many more gay kids in our class, and what I’d been doing hadn’t
really been that impressive, so I figured they must be really
bored.
“Carlsen,” Coach Myles said, startling me, “What was that?”
“Sorry, Coach. I just wanted to stretch out and move some.”
“I didn’t ask why you were doing it, I asked what it was.”
“Tricking,” I replied.
“Tricking? And you do it without mats?”
“Only simple stuff.”
“That was simple? Is this what happens when you have too much
coffee?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had too much coffee.”
He laughed, then said, “Rowe, go get your buddy a towel.”
Adam ran off.
“So, you could do more of that if we put out some mats?”
“I’m out of practice, but yes.”
“We might have to try that sometime.”
Adam came back with a towel, and Coach let me get back to it,
but I suddenly felt self-conscious. I managed to get back into
it anyway, until Adam warned me the bell was about to ring. I
went and cleaned up, then dressed again.
I was seated in theater when Walker came in. He sat next to me
and squeezed my shoulder.
“I know you and Jake were pretty close. You okay?”
I shrugged.
“Yes? No? I don’t know?”
Walker nodded.
“Sorry, stupid question. I guess you were right though, about
Spring Awakening being relevant.”
I snorted, and when Left Behind started trying to go through my
head, I fought hard against it.
“This is just so fuc‍king stupid, it just keeps happening,
and they fight to keep us from helping.”
“What?”
“Jake was the first one this year, but we had two kids on the
rainbow suicide last year. I told you how we’ve been trying
since before I started here to get some type of organization
started for LGBT+ students, but they don’t want to hear it.
Would it make a difference? Maybe, maybe not. It’d make more
of a difference than just doing the same nothing year in and
year out. I’m surprised they didn’t announce they were sending
his family ‘thoughts and prayers’.”
I kind of tuned him out. I understood why he was upset, and I
even agreed with him, but I just couldn’t deal with it just
then. And then, someone put on some music. Thank God it wasn’t
Spring Awakening, but nearly as bad, it was Dear Evan Hansen.
They skipped “Map” and went straight to “Waving Through a
Window”, which wasn’t too bad. I tuned it out and tried to
concentrate. There was something Walker had said. Something
about that and Dear Evan Hansen. It should be obvious, I just
wish I wasn’t so tired. If I could just sleep a bit, I could
figure it out.
The music transitioned to “For Forever”. I started singing
along, and realized that it hadn’t really been forever ago when
I’d been talking about using this as my audition song. It
hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, but that couldn’t be right.
I wasn’t singing loud, which was good, since I caught myself
stumbling, but that was okay, too. I wasn’t sure I still wanted
to audition, or even to still be involved in the Spring Musical.
Did it even mean anything anymore?
Whoever was controlling the music skipped several songs, and I
started singing along with the next selection without thinking
about it.
Have you ever felt like nobody was there?
Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?
Have you ever felt like you could disappear?
Like you could fall, and no one would hear?
Well, let that lonely feeling wash away
Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay
'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand
You can reach, reach out your hand.
And oh, someone will coming running
And I know, they'll take you home
I nearly choked on ‘running’.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“What?” Walker asked.
“I don’t understand,” I repeated more loudly.
Walker shrugged.
“There’s nothing to understand. He felt like he couldn’t go on
anymore. We may never know why.”
I shook my head.
“No, I mean, I don’t understand, why didn’t he reach out? I was
there. Why didn’t he call me? I could have h-helped if he’d
j-j-just c-ca…”
Someone was holding me when I fell out of my chair, but I’m not
sure who. Someone was trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t
really understand them. I did hear someone calling for Carrie,
and I knew I was embarrassing myself, but I just couldn’t stop
crying.
I didn’t want to stop crying.
#Post#: 30465--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Five
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It was like an out-of-focus kaleidoscope scene under a strobe
light. I don’t remember much of anything for sure until I woke
up. I was in my bed, under the covers, in just my boxers. Adam
was beside me, but he was dressed and sitting atop the
comforter. He had earbuds in, but as soon as I shifted, he
stopped whatever he was doing and removed the buds.
“You okay?” he asked.
I tried to answer, but my mouth felt like I’d been chewing old
gym socks. I just nodded my head.
Adam helped me sit up and handed me a glass of water. I started
to drink it down, but he stopped me.
“Just sips for now.”
“What happened?”
“What do you remember?” he replied.
“Not much,” I admitted. “I was in theater class, and Walker was
saying something. There was something I was trying to… not to
remember. To think of? And they were listening to the DEH
soundtrack, and I heard.. Something. I just got so mad. He
never tried to call me. If he’d just called, I could have…”
“Vennen, weren’t you just yesterday telling me it wasn’t my
fault, and I couldn't have stopped it?”
I started to glare at him, but then blushed and looked away.
“It’s hard to admit, isn’t it?”
I nodded.
“And when did you start to learn Norwegian?”
“It’s only one word so far, and I’d say roughly about ten
seconds after the first time you kissed me.”
“Anyway, as to sipping…”
He paused and helped me get a little more water. Then I think
he noticed me shiver, because he helped me get the blanket
wrapped around me, and then helped me lean back against the
headboard.
“As to sipping, Dr. Greenburg said…”
“Dr. Greenburg?” I interrupted.
“Whit?”
“Oh, right. Go ahead.”
“He said you’d basically been in emotional shock, and the… fit
was you coming out of it. Umm.. I don’t know everything, but
they got you to the office and laid you down somewhere, while
they called Dillon. He came and got you, and Dr. Greenburg
followed him home. I was still at school at that point. I
found out what happened right after class ended, and came
straight here. They’d already put you to bed, and you’d fallen
asleep.
“The doctor said that you’d probably sleep a couple of hours and
be fine, but you might be dehydrated, and might get sick if you
drank too much all at once. Actually,” Adam added, “he went to
get dinner, and he should be back to check on you pretty soon.”
“Oh, great.”
I tried to get up, but I was feeling a bit shaky. I’d just
started trying to get Adam to help me, when Linda came in.
“Oh, good, you’re up,” she said. “Why didn’t you call us?” she
asked, turning to Adam.
“I was about to. Just making sure he was really up.”
She called Dillon, and then all three of them were fussing over
me. I tried to convince them I was okay, but they just ignored
me. I’m pretty sure that I could stand up and perform an
Olympic pommel horse routine just then and they still wouldn’t
believe I was okay.
I was actually pretty hungry, but they wouldn’t give me anything
except Sprite and crackers until the doctor checked on me. I
was getting irritated, but fortunately, Adam was keeping me
amused by the way he kept brushing against me as he fussed. I’m
pretty sure he didn’t even realize he was doing it, which is why
it was funny. Thankfully, the doorbell rang before I could get
tired of the ‘hens with one chick’ routine.
“Hello, Sieger. How are you feeling?”
“Well, thank you, Whit. Yourself?”
He smiled at me.
“I’m not the one everyone's worried about right now. Let’s take
a look at you.”
He checked my pulse, looked in my eyes, checked my temperature,
then looked in my mouth before announcing, “He’s going to be
fine. He is just a little dehydrated, but just make sure he
gets enough to drink. If he wants to stay home tomorrow, let
him, but I don’t see any reason he shouldn’t go to school
tomorrow, if he feels up to it.”
He paused to make sure everyone was listening, then he turned to
me.
“Sieger, I think there was a while you were in a state of
emotional shock; you were running on autopilot. When something
broke through that, you had to deal with your emotions all at
once, and it overwhelmed you. It’s perfectly natural, and you
should be okay after this. You and I talked about warning signs
to watch for, and I’ve explained those to Dillon and Linda and
Adam, so they can help you keep an eye out, just in case. For
now, you’ll probably feel a little weak for a bit. Take it
easy, maybe skip your gym tomorrow night. It wouldn’t hurt for
you to take a couple of ibuprofen and a hot bath tonight to help
your body relax. Other than that, and making sure you drink
plenty of water, you should be able to go back to normal.”
I’m not sure any of them believed that, but I was certainly glad
to hear it.
After Whit had left, Adam helped me get up. I was still feeling
a little shaky, so he stayed by me while I got cleaned up and
dressed. Linda had invited him to have dinner with us, and
Dillon was going to take him home afterwards. Linda said I
needed something rich and comforting, so she made Belgian
waffles, huevos rancheros, refried beans, bacon, and hash
browns. I don’t know about rich, but it certainly made me
comfortable enough to want to go back to bed.
Adam wanted to wait until I was back in bed, but I finally told
him I did want to take a hot bath and get cleaned up. He still
looked hesitant, so I pointed out that if he tried to wash my
back,neither one of us would get any rest.
“I want to stay with you again tonight,” he finally said.
“I know. I would like that too. My bed’s not as big as yours,
though. And you need to go home and get cleaned up. I’m not
the only one who’s had a rough time recently.”
He stepped close to me and rested his hand against the side of
my face, staring into my eyes.
“I wish things had been different when we met,” he finally said.
“I do, too,” I confessed.
“I feel like I should say something from a sappy romance.”
“If you did, I’d probably laugh in your face.”
That made him smile. I gave him a soft, quick kiss, and he
left.
I must have been tired, since I didn’t wake up until my alarm
went off. Once I did wake, I needed to pis‍s so urgently I
was pretty sure I wasn't dehydrated. After taking care of that,
I had a problem. I’d pretty much promised not to run this
morning. I guess that made sense. No matter how good I was
feeling, they didn’t want me by myself with no supervision until
they were sure I was stable. After a bit of thought, I did a
long warm up with some thorough stretching, then some
calisthenics. By the time I finished, I’d worked up a pretty
good sweat, and I was still ahead of schedule.
Turns out Dillon had taken a couple of personal days off work.
He insisted on taking me to school. I tried to argue, but it
turns out he had to. They wanted him to check me in at the
office, to be sure Dr. Greenburg had cleared me to return to
school.
The first thing I did after being checked in was to go looking
for Austin and Tanner. Tanner especially was a breath of fresh
air, and I’d blown him off yesterday. Plus, since he and Walker
lived on the same street, he’d probably heard about my little
incident yesterday, and he was the type to worry about his
friends.
I didn’t find them, but I did find Thomas, who was one of their
friends I’d met on my second day. He was slightly taller than
Tanner, but not a lot. He thought I was funny, because his
family was Hispanic, and I was the only guy at school who
pronounced his name the way they did.
Thomas had seen them, but they were going around to hang out by
the arts building. I thanked him and headed off that way.
After a moment, I changed course a bit. At this time, almost
everyone would be trying to get to their lockers, so I decided
to cut around by the vocational building - longer, but probably
faster and definitely less crowded.
I almost passed the little side courtyard without paying
attention, but I heard something. I might still have ignored
it, but it had sounded angry, and more than a little like
Austin.
I’m glad I did.
I knew Austin and Tanner, of course, and I recognized Jackson,
Fincher, and Lynch, even though I hadn’t seen them up close
since my first week at this school. There was another guy I
didn’t know, but I was pretty sure he was with Fincher and them,
since he was holding Tanner by the arm. I think it was Lynch
who has his other arm, while Jackson was standing in front of
him with a balled up fist, which seemed to be the reason Tanner
was doubled over. As for Austin, Fincher was holding one hand
over his face and his other arm holding Austin’s left arm in a
hammer lock.
None of them seemed to be looking at me, so I spoke up a bit to
make sure they heard me.
“Oh, ynkelige jævla fitter. Dere har fucka så jævlig opp.”
They turned and looked at me.
“What the hel‍l you want, foreigner?”
“I wanna go Texas on your ass, but I’m going to give you one
chance to smoke and travel.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone sneer before, outside a
movie, but these guys were trying.
“Mind your own business,” Jackson said.
“You hurt my friends. This is my business.”
“These two? Are they your boyfriends, too? Your other
boyfriend killed himself, because he was so scared people would
find out he was gay. Are you going to break down and cry over
them too?”
‘Break down and cry’? Yeah, I wasn’t shocked that was already
all over the school, but I guess I’d kind of hoped not.
“So,” I asked, ignoring what he said. “Are you going to sit
there and pull the onion while you beat up a couple of little
kids, or are you going to do something?”
Apparently my tone got through to him if my words didn’t, and
he turned towards me, balled up his fists, and started walking
towards me.
I smiled.
#Post#: 30466--------------------------------------------------
Re: All-American Boy
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
“You did WHAT?”
I tried not to wince, but Linda had something of a.. shriek when
she was upset.
“Kicked him in the face,” I repeated.
“Why would you do that?” she demanded.
I sat up, and Dillon must have noticed, because he waved for me
to calm down.
I tried.
I took a deep breath and tried to keep my response calm and
rational.
“I did that, because he and three of his friends, all of whom
are bigger than me, were hurting two of my friends - both of
whom are smaller than me, and when I gave them a chance to break
it up, they decided to threaten me as well. So yes, I kicked him
in the face. Twice.”
I’m not really sure if she was more taken aback with me snapping
at her, or upset at the idea that I’d kicked him more than once.
Dillon certainly didn’t seem to know how to respond, but I
didn’t give her a chance to say anything.
“The first time was just a hook kick, and if he’d been smart, he
would have backed off. He came back at me, so I hit him with a
push kick. You’d think that would have knocked the wind out of
him, but he bounced off the wall behind him and came at me
again. I had a moment to respond, so I hit him with a tornado
kick, and he decided he didn’t feel like playing anymore.”
“But don’t you realize,” she replied, “that the reason you’re
suspended is because they feel you reacted too violently? You
weren’t just defending yourself.”
“Yeah, well maybe you should ask Tanner and Austin if they think
I overreacted,” I suggested to her.
I thought about the rest of them. Lynch coming towards me, but
being hurried and off-balance. A simple low kick in the back of
his knee dropped him on the ground, and he landed bad.
The other two were worse. They were hiding behind the kids.
One of them had Tanner in a rear naked choke, but Tan still
seemed to be breathing okay, so I went after the other one.
He still had Austin’s arm yanked up behind his back and was
keeping Austin between us, so I used a quick switch kick to
catch him off guard and pop him in the thigh and leg. He let go
of Austin quickly at that point. I thought about more, but
before I could, Austin turned around and kicked the drittsekk in
the balls.
I turned around and the guy was seriously choking Tanner at that
point, and I kind of saw red. No guile, no subtlety - I gave
him a straight right in the nose, and he dropped like an anchor.
Of course that’s when a teacher showed up.
I didn’t mention any of that to Linda though. I’d lost my
temper enough already for one day, and with better reason.
I honestly believe that Linda and Dillon cared for me. I knew
they’d talked about having a kid of their own, but I doubt a
stubborn, foreign teenager was remotely what they’d been
thinking of. And honestly, I think they’d done their best for
me, and I had really come to care for them. That didn’t change
the fact that I never wanted to be here, that I’d been happy at
home, and that I’d never dreamed I’d have to move from a
civilized country to someplace where I’d have to fight to
protect my friends, like I was in some dystopian TV show.
Fortunately, before Linda could provoke a rant, Dillon’s phone
rang. Apparently it was the police, but before I could learn
anything more, my own rang. I didn’t recognize the number,
which was no real surprise, since everyone I knew was either in
the room with me or still at school. I answered it anyway, just
to avoid having to talk to Linda for a minute.
“Hallo?”
“Is this Sieger Carlsen?”
“Speaking.”
“Sieger. I’m Father Cavanaugh.”
“Father?”
“Yes, Whitaker Greenburg gave me your number. He said you’d be
expecting my call.”
“Oh, yes, sorry Father. He told me that you’d call, but not
that you were a F.. priest.”
I could hear the smile in his voice as he replied.
“That sounds like Whit. I called the school, hoping to see you
today, but they said you were…”
“Suspended? Yes, I’m afraid so.”
“Nothing serious, I hope?”
“Not for me.”
“Ahh… Well, would it be possible for me to see you at your
home?”
“Certainly, Father, it would be...Oh, I suppose I should ask my
guardians. I think they might be intending to ground me.”
“If it’s not a good time…”
“It’s a fine time for me, Father. One moment, please.”
I explained the situation to Linda, who agreed to his visit.
Dee put his hand over his phone.
“What time?” he asked.
“That would be fine, Father. When would be good for you?”
“About three o’clock?” I repeated to Dee, who nodded.
By the time I said goodbye to the Father, Dee had hung up his
phone.
“That was the police,” Dillon began.
I nodded.
“They want to talk to you. They’re sending a couple of officers
over here. Now.”
I considered losing my American passport and claiming to be
solely a Norwegian citizen, but then there’d be no visas or
travel stamps on that passport, so I’d be here illegally. Faen.
I wondered if I had time for a final cup of good coffee before
they took me away.
The wait was long enough to make me a bit crazy before they
arrived. There were two of them. One was a bit older lady -
maybe Hilde’s age, definitely older than Linda. The other was a
young guy - the type who’d make me daydream about handcuffs and
strip searches in better circumstances. As it was…
Officer Madden had a pleasant, alto voice, and she was obviously
in charge. Officer Berg just stood behind her and seemed to
wait for her instructions. They introduced themselves around,
and Dillon invited them to be seated.
“Joep…”
“Sieger, please” I asked her.
She nodded.
“Sieger, we’re here for two reasons. First, I need to ask you a
question or two… really just…”
She had a metal notepad with her, and she opened it up and
removed some paper.
“Your school resource officer typed up your statement from this
morning. Could you read over it and make sure this is
accurate?”
I agreed and did. It was.
“If it’s accurate, would you sign it please? Right here?
I did, and then she asked Dillon and Linda to sign it as
witnesses and my guardians. As soon as they had, she thanked us
and left, which seemed really surprising.
“You’re not arresting me?” I asked.
Officer Berg laughed.
“No, we’re not arresting you. As a matter of fact, we’re here
to thank you.”
I hope I didn’t look as confused as Linda and Dee, but I’m sure
I did.
“Sieger… Here, let me get a copy of your statement.”
He had a clipboard similar to hers, and he pulled out another
copy of the same document. He looked through it for a second,
then laid it on the table between us, facing me.
“Read this part right here, and tell me if anything jumps out at
you.”
I read the paragraph he indicated, then read it again before it
hit me.
“He knew.”
“Exactly,” Officer Berg agreed.
“What?” Linda asked.
“Jackson knew that Jake was gay.”
“As far as we could determine, only three people knew that Jake
was gay - Adam Rowe, Walker Wright, and Sieger. For Jackson to
say something about it isn’t proof of anything, but given what
he said and the other circumstances.. We’re using Sieger’s
statement to attempt to get a search warrant for his computer,
phone, any other electronic media he might have.”
“Cyber-bullying?” Dillon asked.
“We think so. It’s worth exploring. Certainly we can’t find
any other reason for… what happened. We’re also going to try to
get Jake’s electronics. We looked for a letter, but I don’t
know that they checked very deeply.
“Anyway,” he continued, “the other reason I’m here is to tell
you what’s happening from this morning. Seiger, first of all,
the four people you fought tried to blame it on you.
“Don’t worry,” he rushed to assure me, “not only did they
contradict each other when they gave their statements, two of
them contradicted themselves. Even without their records, or
Austin and Tanner’s statements, they wouldn’t be able to shift
the blame.
“As it is - Jackson and Ford are both eighteen, so they’ll be
charged as adults. There are some questions about who’s being
charged with what, and I’m not clear on everything yet, because,
under Texas law, assaulting a minor is someone under fourteen,
and Austin is already fifteen. Also, choking someone is an
aggravating circumstance, and a rear naked choke definitely
applies.
“One of the detectives is comparing statements to be sure which
charges to file against which person, but the long and short of
it is, at least one of these people could be back at school in a
couple of days.”
Linda and Dillon had a few more questions, but the important
part was that I was in the clear and not having to worry about
finding a boat to Norway to stow away on. Or does Norway have
extradition treaties with the U.S.?
When Officer Berg had left, I confirmed with Dillon and Linda
what cyber-bullying was.
“So what you’re telling me is that those... “ I speak four
languages and can curse in every one of them, but I couldn’t
think of a strong enough word to express how I felt. “They’re
the reason… The reason Jake…. I need to break something.”
“Sieger, don’t you think you’ve…” Linda started.
“No, I don’t. I just think those jævla drittstøvlene are lucky
I can’t get my hands on them now. I need to break something.”
I paused to look around.
“I’m going for a run.”
Dee managed to stop me, which is probably a good thing. Me on
my own at that time was probably not the best idea. With a
phone call, we finally compromised, and Dillon took me to the
dojo. They were almost empty, since their afternoon class was
over, but school was still in session. Dee and the coaches went
into the office and sat down, which left me to wear myself out
on the heavy bag while trying to exhaust the curse words I knew.
It had not been the best day of my life, but it was looking up
some. My hands and shins were sore, but I’d had time to wear
myself out at the dojo, and still get home to shower and change
before Father Cavanaugh arrived. I’d actually missed lunch, but
now I had a chance to have something really enjoyable that I
usually missed these days. I had just poured batter in the
waffle iron, and the coffee was brewing, when the doorbell rang,
and I realized it was already three o’clock. What was that
delightful expression Dalton used? ‘Sh‍it on a stick’.
I checked the waffle iron, then rushed to answer the door, since
the Father was my guest.
“Good afternoon, Father, please come in.”
“You must be Sieger?”
“Ja,” I agreed, and led him to the living room, where I
introduced him to Dillon and Linda.
“Pleasure to meet you all. I’m Father Montgomery Cavanaugh.
Please, call me Monty. I’m associate curate at Trinity Episopal
Church.”
Monty was a pleasant man, a bit shorter than me, a bit younger
than Dillon. I took his coat, revealing that he wore a standard
black shirt and white collar, then invited him into the kitchen
with me.
“I’m sorry, F… Monty, I lost track of time, and I missed lunch
today, while preparing to skip the country.”
“Far be it from me to come between a growing boy and food, but…
Skip the country? Is that coffee I smell?”
I admitted it was.
“Would you like a cup?”
Not only did he accept a cup, but he took it properly and
appreciated that it had been properly prepared. He also took a
couple of segments of waffle. When I sat down, he took one with
butter, but tried the other with cream cheese. Then I explained
my day and my small joke.
Once I’d finished playing host, he got down to his purpose.
“Now, to be sure we’re on the same page, I”m not a grief
counselor. Not specifically, at least, though I do some of that
as a priest. Umm… Excuse me, but these are delicious. Anyway,
Whit asked me to contact you, because he said you’re Lutheran,
but were unhappy with the local congregation?”
“Ja. I’m gay and the local church is apparently… Missouri
Synod? I guess I’m Church of Norway, where LGBT are accepted.”
“It must have been hard to come here and find the place you
expected comfort condemned you.”
I nodded.
“That’s why Whit called me. I did a little research, and there
are churches of more… accepting synods in this area, but none of
them are especially close. Do you drive?”
“No.”
“That would make it harder. Now, I can give you the names and
phone numbers or addresses of those churches, but I can also
propose an alternative.”
I’d just taken a bite, so I simply raised an eyebrow.
“Were you aware that the Lutheran and Episcopal churches share
full communion with each other?”
I shook my head.
“Do you know what that means?”
“No.”
“It means a person who was baptized in either church may take
communion in the other. I know that our churches have some
doctrinal disagreements, but I think those might not make too
much difference to you in weekly services.”
I wasn't looking to convert, but the idea of being able to
attend church, to take communion…. I’m really not especially
religious, but right then, the idea seemed very comforting.
“Father, do you believe suicides go to hell?”
He looked at me.
“You were friends with the Landon boy? Jake?”
I realized I was crying again, but it was slow and quiet this
time. I dabbed at my eyes, but nodded.
“No, my son. I don’t believe in a Lord that condemns a boy who
couldn’t find the strength to go on.”
He was quiet for a long second before he spoke again.
“Do you want to pray for him right now?
I did.
#Post#: 30467--------------------------------------------------
Re: All-American Boy
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Twenty minutes later, Monty and I had shared another waffle and
another cup of coffee, and I’d promised to attend services
Sunday morning. He’d spoken to Linda and Dillon a bit before
leaving. I cleaned up the kitchen, then retired to my room. I
think Linda had calmed down some, but I saw no reason to push
things.
I logged onto my computer and saw I had a long list of emails,
but it only took a quick glimpse at the subject lines to realize
I had no desire to deal with them. Instead, I pulled up my
music library, picked out David Bowie’s Low, and then sat down
at my weight bench. I had already done a workout today, but a
bit of stretching and light weights wouldn’t hurt, so I didn’t
stiffen up too much.
I don’t have enough weights to do anything very challenging.
Sometimes I’ll work on maxing my reps, but I decided to go with
heavier weights and go slow, working on my form. After a bit, I
paused to take off my shirt and open the window. It was a bit
cool for comfort, but it felt good as I built up some body heat.
When the weights grew boring, I did some extreme stretching. I
thought about going out back to work on some tricking, but it
was already getting dark, and I didn’t want to risk a bad
landing. Instead, I shut the window, grabbed a towel, and
decided to watch some tricking videos on Youtube.
The doorbell rang.
“Sieger, could you get that please?” Linda called.
I dropped the towel on my bed, and headed towards the door.
“Getting it,” I called back.
“Thanks,” she said, revealing she was in the kitchen, so must be
starting on dinner.
I flipped on the porchlight, pulled the door open and found two
pleasant looking ladies a bit older than Linda there
accompanying Austin and Tanner.
“Hallo,” I greeted them. “Would you like to come in?”
They did, and I took their coats.
“I’m sorry we’re just showing up like this,” one of the ladies
said, “but are your aunt and uncle here?”
“Ja,” I answered, but right that minute, Linda came around the
corner.
“This is my aunt, Linda,” I introduced her, “Linda, these are
both Mrs. Douglas, I believe.”
One of them, who had very dark hair, covered her mouth briefly.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m Angie Douglas - Austin’s mom. This
is… not really my sister-in-law, Sara.”
“Tanner’s mother,” Sara volunteered.
“Come in, ladies. Seiger, why don’t you go get dressed.”
I had on a perfectly fine pair of jeans, but I shrugged and
started down the hall to my room.
“Can we come?” Tanner called.
I turned and waved at them. They glanced at their moms, who
nodded, then they followed me.
As soon as we got to my room, I turned around to greet them, but
before I could say anything, Tanner had launched himself at me,
and wrapped his arms around me.
“Are you okay I can’t believe they suspended you Walker said you
couldn’t quit crying and no one knew why and thank you so much
and Mom yelled at Mr. Keegan and the police talked to us and I
gotta go to the doctor ‘cause my stomach still hurts.”
“Tanner, breath!” Austin called out.
I think I looked a bit dazed as I tried to decipher that. I had
wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and the fact that it had
all come out in one breath as he had his face against my chest
hadn’t made it easier to understand.
Austin was watching us with what I can only call fond
exasperation.
“Forgive my cousin,” Austin said. “He’s ADHD.”
“THAT, I’d already noticed,” I admitted.
Tanner pulled back far enough to shoot a glare at Austin over
his shoulder.
“Thank you,” Tanner repeated, this time enunciating it very
clearly.
“You’re welcome,” I assured him.
“We’re sorry you got in trouble,” Austin added.
“Vær så god,” I replied. “Did you say you were hurt?” I asked
Tanner.
He nodded.
“My stomach still hurts.”
“It looks pretty bad,” Austin added.
“Wanna see?” Tanner asked, so I nodded. He pulled up his hoodie
and tucked the hem under his chin. There was bruising low down,
but he started undoing his jeans, then slid them part way down
his thighs. He took his boxers and pulled the waistband down,
though not far enough to expose anything except the rest of the
bruise. It was centered between his navel and hip bone, and was
already pretty dark.
I reached my hand up, but didn’t touch it.
“Yeah, you should definitely see a doctor about that,” I agreed.
“How’s your arm?” I asked, turning to Austin, as Tanner started
to dress.
He shrugged with mostly his right arm.
“Stiff, but not really sore anymore. They sent me to the
football trainer, and he rubbed it and put on some Tiger Balm.”
I nodded. I’d used the same thing after strains before.
“Boys!”
It was a female voice, though I’m not sure whose, but our
presence was obviously wanted.
I grabbed the shirt I’d been wearing earlier, then stopped. I’d
worked up a pretty good sweat, so I added a couple of shots of
Axe under the arms before pulling the shirt on.
Tanner took off while I was dressing, but Austin was still
there, and suddenly looking a little shy.
“Um, Sieger, I, I mean, we really, I mean…”
Austin seems to pride himself on being more mature and
controlled than Tanner, but I had an idea what was going on.
Instead of saying anything, I just held my arms open a bit. He
stepped in, leaned his head against my chest, and wrapped his
arms around my waist. I held him tight a second, and patted him
on the back.
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I know what you mean.”
He stepped back and looked up at me. His eyes were a little
damp, and I realized how scary the entire situation must have
been for him.
“Thanks,” he said.
I smiled and reached out to ruffle his hair. For once, he let
me.
Austin commented on my bedroom, as we walked down the hall,
complaining that his still looked like a little kid’s room. I
pointed out that, not only had I moved into this room when I was
already sixteen, but that I’d had some of my parents' stuff to
decorate it and some money to spend. I could have had a bigger
bed if I’d wanted, but I liked having more floor space for other
things (and I’d planned on staying celibate in the U.S., but I
didn’t mention that part to Austin).
In the living room, Linda and Dillon were in their usual chairs,
and Sara Douglas was in the guest chair, with Tanner perched on
the arm of it. Angie was sitting on the couch. I sat on the
other end from her, and Austin sat between us. Sara took
control of the conversation.
“Your aunt and uncle tell us the police have already been by
here,” she stated.
I just nodded.
“So you know there aren’t going to be any charges against you?”
I nodded again.
“We talked to the police today, and made it very clear that we
wanted to press charges and that the boys would testify if they
needed to. We thought that would be the end of it, but.. Well,
things were already so busy, Angie and I went to get lunch,
while the boys finished school…”
“When we got back to pick them up,” Angie said, picking up the
story, “Austin told us that you’d been suspended. We couldn’t
believe that.”
“We marched into that office and gave Mr. Keegan a piece of our
mind. The very idea that you should get in trouble for
protecting other students - younger, smaller students - from a
group of thugs is disgusting. He said that what you did didn’t
really qualify as self-defense. Well, I certainly had a few
words for him…”
She went on a few minutes more, and I really felt like sinking
into the coach. Fortunately, Linda seemed to be really
understanding the same points I’d been trying to make earlier.
After a few more minutes, she seemed to wind down, and they
apologized again for just dropping in on us like that. Before
they could take their leave, Tanner asked if they could talk to
me privately for a few minutes. The adults were all fine with
it, so we went back to my room.
“Sorry, I meant to ask you earlier,” he said as we shut the door
behind us, “but I was just happy to see you.”
“That’s okay, what’s up.”
“Are you okay? Walker said you were really upset.”
“I was. Remember, Jake was one of the first people I met here.
I met him right after I met you. He was one of my best
friends.”
They nodded.
“Some people around school are saying y’all were boyfriends.”
“Would that bother you if we were?”
“Nah,” Tanner replied, “I’d rather have a boyfriend. Girls are
prettier than guys, but I just can’t understand them.”
Austin gave a quiet snort at his cousin. “I’d rather have a
girlfriend, but it doesn’t bother me. I like Walker and Logan
just fine.”
“Good,” I admitted, “I am gay, but we weren’t boyfriends - just
friends.”
“What happened?”
“I was with Adam when we found out. I guess I was being strong
for him. But that kind of means I just didn’t deal with my own
feelings. Then, in theater, they had music playing from Dear
Evan Hansen, and suddenly they were playing… The Connor
Project.”
“They were playing the Connor Project?”
“No, that’s it. I knew there was something, but I just
couldn’t… I love you guys. Thank you!”
I jumped out of my chair and wrapped my arms around both of
them. Tanner hugged me back immediately. Austin went stiff in
my arms for a second, but then relaxed and wrapped his arms
around his cousin and me.
“Um… you’re welcome, I guess?”
I kissed each of them on the forehead. Tanner giggled. Austin
rolled his eyes. Then I let them go.
“Guys, I’m sorry to be rude, but I need to make some phone calls
and get this down while I’m thinking about it. Do you mind?”
“Can we help?”
I shook my head.
“Not right now, but later? Definitely?”
Tanner hugged me again. Austin held out his hand, so I shook
it, while still hugging his cousin.
I quickly escorted them to the door, and as soon as they and
their moms were gone, I told Linda and Dee that I had something
really important to take care of, and that I’d be really busy
for a while.
#Post#: 30468--------------------------------------------------
All-American Boy Chapter Twenty-Seven
By: Jack Date: February 25, 2025, 12:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think I understood how Tanner felt. My mind was running a
thousand miles a minute.
I called Walker first. I think I was rude, but I was trying to
get all my thoughts out. I had three notebooks spread in front
of me, and a sheet and doc both opened in Google.
“Yeah,” Walker said, “I can do it, but tell me again exactly
what I’m looking for.”
“Basically we want to reach out to any national group that… Um…
Damn, I can’t think of the English word. Associates? Back
home, my mamma called it a ‘franchise,’ but…”
“Sieger, it’s the same thing in English.
“Oh. I guess that’s why I couldn’t think of it.”
“So you want someone that will like sponsor a chapter for us?”
“YES! That’s it.”
“Okay, sure, I can start on that tonight.”
I called Adam, because I didn’t have Debbie’s number, and I knew
Jim had to be at work really early. His dad was still up, but I
had to spend fifteen minutes assuring him I was okay before he’d
let us talk. Jim didn’t have the information I wanted, but he
knew someone to whom he could talk, and he promised to at least
start the ball rolling the next day.
All three notebooks were seeing heavy usage. I was writing
every wild idea I had in the first one. As some of them worked
out, I moved them to the second, so I could expand them into
checklists. The third was the emptiest - a list of people who I
thought could help.
And then I thought about that cute cop - Officer Berg? Hadn’t
he told me to call if I had any problems or questions? I pulled
out my phone and called. It must have been a cell number,
because he answered. I apologized for bothering him, but
explained what I was trying to do and why I couldn’t just ask
the school. He had no idea, but promised to ask his sergeant
the next day.
I had opened a file and was trying to write a cover letter, but
I was having trouble focusing. There was a knock at my door and
Linda spoke.
“Dinner’s ready, honey. I know you said you were busy, but
there’s something Dillon and I need to tell you. Could you…?”
“No, that’s great. A break might help.”
Linda’s lasagna was fantastic, and I was starving, but their
news kept me from focusing on it. It turns out that, while I
was making my phone call, they received another one.
“From Mr. Keegan. In light of the police report, and… ‘further
information’ from Tanner and Austin, they have reversed your
suspension. You’ll need to get there a few minutes early and go
to the office so you can get a pass, so there won’t be any
trouble with your classes, but it looks like you’re good to go.
That kind of screwed up my schedule, but I have to admit it was
good news. I’m sure that a suspension for any reason didn’t
look great on your record, and I certainly didn’t want the
University of Oslo thinking Texas had turned me into some type
of troublemaker.
After their news, I explained what I’d been working on.
“It sounds like a great idea,” Linda said, “but I can’t really
think of anything to help, off the top of my head. If you need
something I can do, let me know.”
“I have an idea or two,” Dee put in, “but let me talk to a
couple of people first.”
I shouldn’t have eaten so much, but I’d been pretty hungry and
it was so good. I was suddenly feeling pretty tired, but Linda
had cooked, and I know I’d made things crazy for Dillon the past
couple of days, so I tried to do most of the clean up. Dee
insisted on helping me, though. We were nearly finished when
his phone rang, a sound I was kind of starting to dread.
“This is Dillon.”
He paused.
“Yes, I am. Yes, he’s right here. Would you like his number..
No, it’s not a problem.”
He covered his phone and held it out to me.
“Sieger, it’s Mrs. Landon. Jake’s mom.”
No, no, no, no, no. Nein, nyet, non, nie, nee, naj, mana,
tidak. Let this cup pass from me.
I shook my head and held up my hand.
Dee looked sympathetic, but nodded his head and extended the
phone to me again.
I sighed and took it.
“This is Sieger.”
“Sieger, this is Ruth Landon. I’m sorry to disturb you, but… I
just didn’t know when else to call. I had your uncle’s number
from when Jake first came to your house.”
“That’s all right, Ruth. Umm… I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Well, yes, that’s why I called. First, Jeremy and I wanted to
thank you. The police came today and took Jacob’s phone and
computer. They say you reported something you’d heard this
Ethan Jackson person say that led them to believe Jacob might
have been cyber-bullied.”
“It’s… That’s all right, Ruth. Jake was my friend.”
“I know he was, sweetie. That’s the other reason I called.
Jacob has never.. was never real good at making friends. He
never told me why he quit playing with Adam and those other
boys. His father and I never really liked him doing all those
demonic games, but they seemed to make him happy. But after he
quit going, he just seemed sad. And then he met you, and he
started going places again, and you were friends with Adam as
well, and… I just wanted to tell you that he’d really been happy
recently, and we saw that. We’re glad you were his friend.”
I was tearing up again, and I couldn’t help it.
“He was my friend, as well, Ruth. He was one of the first
people I met, and his friendship meant a lot to me.”
“I’m glad, because I know yours meant a lot to him. I wanted to
let you know… We are planning his funeral for Saturday, so
anyone from school can be there, if they’d like. We’d like you
to be a pallbearer.”
I was shocked.
“Um… Ja, Takk. Tusen hjertelig takk. It.. It would be my
privilege.”
We were both quiet a minute.
“I should go, Sieger. Things are.. upset around here right
now.”
“I’m sorry, again. Thank you for calling, Ruth.”
We disconnected, and I handed Dee’s phone back to him.
“You look exhausted. We’re pretty finished here, why don’t you
go get ready for bed?”
I nodded. Since I was too tired to argue, he must have a point.
“Sieger?”
I turned back around.
“You said something in Norwegian, then said ‘it would be your
privilege’?”
“Oh, Jake’s funeral is Saturday. She asked me to be a
pallbearer.”
I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed, and I was
half-considering skipping the shower when it occurred to me that
I should call Coach Hall. I thought it must be too late to
call, but was shocked to realize it was barely after 8 p.m. The
dojo wouldn’t even be closed yet.
I called to find that Coach Hall was busy, but Coach Petersen
offered to take a message. I explained my idea, and he thought
it would be great. He promised to discuss it with Coach Hall,
and they’d let me know. He even offered to check with The
Landons for me. I felt rather cowardly for not talking to them
about it myself, but I agreed.
As tired as I was, I’d worked up a good sweat earlier, so I made
myself take a shower. As tired as I was, this was going to be
three horrible nights in a row, and certain things came up in
the shower that refused to go away until they were handled.
I did start the morning in the school office. Again. Three
days in a row is way too many times to be there. The atmosphere
was pretty tense, while I got my pass, but I could kind of
understand.
As I walked across the campus to the arts building, people I’m
sure I’d never met were stopping to talk to me - saying hello,
congratulating me, asking if I was okay, some even thanking me.
The one thing that wasn’t happening was that literally no one
was teasing me about the crying jag. I mean, that had happened
at the end of the day Monday, I hadn’t been here yesterday, so
basically everyone should be giving me the sh‍it about it,
even if it was just friendly. As it was, the only guy who even
mentioned it said the same thing had happened to him once.
Girls were a bit more open about it, but they were mostly saying
how nice it was that I was ‘in touch with my feelings’.
That kind of atmosphere was bad enough, and I can understand why
Mr. Keegan had wanted to keep me out of school, even if I think
he was wrong. But then a guy I’d seen around the dojo came up.
Apparently word was going around that I’d broken one guy’s nose,
someone else’s wrist, and knocked out three teeth. Dritt, Coach
Petersen was going to be mad if he heard that. Thinking back, I
decided the teeth were just rumors, and the wrist was when Lynch
fell bad.
Finally, Adam and John found me. Austin and Tanner weren’t far
behind, and the group of us were able to make it to the arts
building. Carrie let us into the drama classroom so we could
have a little peace.
The other guys were sitting down around a table, but Carrie
called me to her desk.
“Coach Myles got with me about you being on the track team. We
checked the dates for the musical. It looks like you might have
to miss one practice the week before, for a meet, but that’s it.
I’m fine with that, if it’s what you want. And don’t forget
you haven’t signed up for an audition time yet - only eight days
until they start.”
I thanked her without obviously moaning and joined the others at
the table. I was going to have to break it to Coach that I
really didn’t have time for track. For now, I needed to grab a
notebook, make a list, and start organizing and prioritizing.
Instead, I just buried my head in my hands.
Someone dug their fingers into my neck and shoulders, and I
moaned in pleasure. After a minute, I lowered my hands, raised
my eyes, and saw one of the twins standing behind me.
“I’m going to marry you if you keep this up,” I warned him.
“I’m the straight one,” Dalton quipped.
“I don’t care.”
He smiled, but didn’t stop.
“Say, I thought you were suspended.”
Suddenly everyone around the table was paying attention.
“I was. They rescinded it.”
“What? Why?”
“Tanner’s mom yelled at Mr. Keegan.”
All eyes turned to Tanner, obviously impressed. Tanner beamed
under the attention.
“What time is it? I need to hit the school store.”
“We have about eight minutes before the bell. Whatcha need?”
“Another notebook. I’m trying to get all this crap organized.”
Aiden dug into his bag and handed me a legal pad with a few
sheets left.
“Will this do?”
“Bless you,” I replied.
“What is all that anyway?”
“Walker, could you…?”
“I don’t know everything this crazy man is thinking, but what I
do know is…”
Walker took a few minutes explaining the basics of what we’d
discussed. Everyone was onboard and willing to help where they
could.
“By the way, I told them, sliding the notebooks into my backpack
and taking out my phone. Just so everyone knows, and there’s no
confusion, yes, I’m gay. No, Jake and I weren’t dating - just
good friends. No, Adam and I aren’t dating - just very good
friends. This is Emil,” I continued, laying my phone on the
table. “He’s my boyfriend back home, and he’s the reason I’m
not dating anyone. I’d honestly planned to just stay celibate,
keep my head down, and finish school here.”
“So why tell us now?”
“Is it because of Håkon?” Adam asked.
Everyone turned to look at him.
“Håkon is the guy Emil is dating right now. And no, he’s not
cheating on me. He was very open that he thought we should both
date other people. I didn’t disagree with him, really. I think
part of my problem was being worried about America’s bad
reputation, and part of it was being afraid of not having anyone
awaiting me when I went home.”
Gay, straight, or undecided, they all commiserated with me,
which really did feel good.
“No, the reason I told you is because what this administration
is doing is not right, and what happened to Jake was just wrong.
I didn’t come here looking for trouble, but I have ingen svin
på skogen - no pigs in the forest. If I have to be open to make
a difference, that’s what I’ll do.”
Adam reached over and took my hand, and I held it. But then
Dalton put his hand on my shoulder. One by one, the other guys
gathered around us. For just a moment, we had a moment of
solidarity. A moment of peace.
“Sieger?”
“Yes, Tan?”
“Why don’t you have any pigs in the forest?”
I laughed.
“It means I have nothing to hide. Don’t ask me why it means
that. Jan - my… dad.. used to say it.”
Another moment of peace, and then the bell rang, and life goes
on. But with friends around you, it goes on more easily.
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