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#Post#: 2410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: jackson Date: December 21, 2017, 4:37 pm
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That judge is evil ;D
#Post#: 2413--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Zyngaru Date: December 21, 2017, 5:01 pm
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So for as bad as Kaden's family life is, he is going to have a
Merry Christmas. :)
It sure sounds like you have good judges there in Texas. At
least this particular one is, even if he likes to play games
with a boy's emotions. :)
As flakey as his parents are, I would hope that You, Jack,
maintain conservatorship, with parental visitation. I am
thinking Kaden can make it official never to live with dad and
step mom, with just telling the judge whatever his step mom was
doing to him. But I doubt step mom will ever let dad even go
for custody of Kaden, if she dislikes him that much.
Just some thoughts.
I am happy that Kaden gets to stay with you for the short to
medium term. Hopefully until he graduates and moves on with his
life. Although it sounds to me like none of your boys actually
move on, they stick around while living their lives.
#Post#: 2419--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: David M. Katz Date: December 21, 2017, 10:11 pm
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It is good that he has some information, a bit of closure and
some stability.
#Post#: 2427--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: db105 Date: December 22, 2017, 2:13 am
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I'm glad they found her mom. Even in those circumstances, at
least she is alive, so it's better than not knowing. The whole
story is very touching, and you are doing another really good
deed by helping.
By the way, what was he expecting to get busted for?
#Post#: 2433--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 22, 2017, 4:15 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=233.msg2413#msg2413
date=1513897290] I am thinking Kaden can make it official never
to live with dad and step mom, with just telling the judge
whatever his step mom was doing to him. But I doubt step mom
will ever let dad even go for custody of Kaden, if she dislikes
him that much.[/quote]
I don't know that she actually dislikes him. It sounds like
she's barely met him. The trouble is, you have a 10-year old
boy and a five-year old girl, and many parents expect the older
child to just put up with anything. Her reaction was ridiculous,
but I was treated the same with by my own mother, when it came
to Danielle. The trouble was that Kaden was in a situation
where he didn't have to tolerate it, which means the underlying
problem was never really addressed or solved.
[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=233.msg2413#msg2413
date=1513897290] I am happy that Kaden gets to stay with you for
the short to medium term. Hopefully until he graduates and
moves on with his life. Although it sounds to me like none of
your boys actually move on, they stick around while living their
lives.[/quote]
A loving, supportive family is the base that allows people to
build their life. I want my kids to know they have a safe place
here, and it doesn't matter if they're six or 36, or how long
they've been out in the world, or what they've built there -
they are always part of us.
[quote author=db105 link=topic=233.msg2427#msg2427
date=1513930393]
By the way, what was he expecting to get busted for?[/quote]
I wondered if anyone was going to ask about this.
Kaden seemed happy enough with me not knowing, but he didn't
want to lie to the judge.
Last week, on a school night, after dinner, he and Scott wanted
to go over to the Marchant home. He doesn't know them from
school, so Scott wanted them to really meet, and for Kaden to
see their video game set up. However, going out after dinner is
a kind of case by case thing. He hadn't actually finished his
homework, but he told me he had, and he marked it done in his
folder. When he told me about it, he swore it was math, which
was later in the day, and he'd finished it in his homeroom the
next morning.
I actually don't have a huge problem with it. We figured out
what day it was, and looked online to be sure he had turned it
in, complete, and made a good grade on it. Instead of paddling
him (which may or may not have been justified, even though he'd
confessed), I simply pointed out to hm that it's better to be
honest.
He promised to try.
Not really a huge deal, but he and I are still having to learn
to deal with an trust each other.
[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=233.msg2413#msg2413
date=1513897290]It sure sounds like you have good judges there
in Texas. At least this particular one is, even if he likes to
play games with a boy's emotions. :)[/quote]
I don't really see it as him playing with Kaden's emotions.
When he first placed us together, everyone expected it to be for
a few days, but things have kept dragging out. Now there's no
telling how long it'll last. i see it as his way of trying to
get honest answers and responses from Kaden, to see if this is a
good idea, or if he needs to look for another answer.
#Post#: 2436--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Adric Date: December 22, 2017, 6:32 am
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The meeting with the judge and what Kaden said there seemed very
revealing.
[quote author=Jack link=topic=233.msg2433#msg2433
date=1513937723]
"I can't just stay with Jack?"
...
"But I deserved that," Kaden protested.
...
"No, he had to paddle me once, because I kept forgetting the
rules, but he's taken real good care of me."
...
"I lied to Jack the other day, and broke a rule, so I'm probably
gonna get busted again when we get home."
...
"And you stlill want to go back there, even with all those other
kids, and expecting to get your butt busted?"
"Yeah - I mean, yes, sir. It's great there with all the guys,
and Jack just wants me to learn to act right. Please, Jack, I'm
sorry I messed up."
[/quote]
One might say the judge was playing around, but it seems he was
giving Kaden every opportunity to complain about his current
living situation. It's pretty clear from his comments that
Kaden has no complaints about the way he is being treated and no
interest in trying some new arrangement.
#Post#: 2443--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Zyngaru Date: December 22, 2017, 9:23 am
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[quote]One might say the judge was playing around, but it seems
he was giving Kaden every opportunity to complain about his
current living situation. It's pretty clear from his comments
that Kaden has no complaints about the way he is being treated
and no interest in trying some new arrangement.[/quote]
Don't get me wrong. I didn't mean "PLAY" in a negative way.
Probably just the way I read the conversation, instead of
actually how it was said, because voices and voice reflections
cannot be put into a written conversation.
I did mean the judge was good at getting to how Kaden was
feeling about being at Jack's Place. And how Jack was treating
him.
#Post#: 2446--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Adric Date: December 22, 2017, 9:57 am
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I didn't mean playing as a negative either. I took that from
the winking that was going on behind Kaden's back, indicating
that the judge's questioning was intended to provoke some frank
responses. When Kaden said "he had to paddle me" and "but I
deserved that" and "when we get home" it was apparent that he
thought a few paddle licks now and then was a small price to pay
for the happy time he was having and he was comfortable calling
Jack's House "home". I hope this turns out to be his best
Christmas ever.
#Post#: 2455--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 22, 2017, 3:21 pm
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Zyngaru - to me, the phrase 'playing with someone's emotions' is
negative. Now, when you rephrased it in your most recent post,
I agree with you 100%, and I think Adric hit it on the button.
I think what the judge was really doing was making Kaden feel
like he could complain if he wanted to.
Now, (and I've told Kaden this) there are a few things that, if
it had been Devon and Colt or Kenny doing it, they would have
been spanked. He's okay with that. I've told him that he's not
mature enough yet to have a lot of input, and I'm going to deal
with him the way I think best.
I think he likes that.
Kaden is a pretty bright boy, but his grades don't reflect it.
I'll probably wait until after Christmas (or maybe tomorrow,
while Steven's still here), and let him know that there are some
things going to tighten up on him a lot, and we'll see what he
thinks then.
#Post#: 2470--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: kalico Date: December 22, 2017, 6:58 pm
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I'm happy he gets to stay with you and work things out in a safe
environment and I hope mom can get her mess together and start
working towards a better life and a relationship with her
son.....
Hugs kal
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