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#Post#: 2237--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: jackson Date: December 15, 2017, 11:15 am
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However it works out for Kaden I just don't see a downside to
treating him like one of your own kids.
For Kaden this could be a Christmas that he will never forget.
#Post#: 2238--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 15, 2017, 2:41 pm
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[quote author=Adric link=topic=233.msg2234#msg2234
date=1513337831]
[quote author=Jack link=topic=233.msg2233#msg2233
date=1513332622]
My understanding is that he's a regular visitor in Mr. P's
office (or has been in the past).[/quote]
I wondered about that, whether getting paddled was an unfamiliar
experience for him and how he would feel about it. Has he
talked about his home life with his mother in the five years
since the father exited?
[/quote]
I know that she allows him to be spanked at school, but she
doesn't really do it herself. There was at least one occasion
(I think he said he was in seventh grade), when he was in a
multiple offense, including a repeated offense, when he was
paddled bare, and his mom was there for that. He was obviously
still disgusted by that, even though I have the feeling he was a
somewhat late bloomer.
[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=233.msg2236#msg2236
date=1513338771]
[quote]It'll be interesting if he does have to make the choice.
While he's not exactly shy, he doesn't seem comfortable with
casual nudity (like so many of my boys do). [/quote]
I suspect the first time he will pick the 3 option (to keep
boxers on) and then after experiencing it, he will pick the two
option. But you never know. He may think 2 is less than 3, so
be stupid to take 3 when you can get off with 2. As you say, he
is experienced with Mr. P.
I also suspect that after he is around the casual nudity boys
awhile that he will slide right into it also.[/quote]
I tend to think you're right, Zyngaru.
#Post#: 2308--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 18, 2017, 4:47 pm
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We heard from Kaden's dad today.
First of all, Kaden has been seeing his father several times a
year, almost since the divorce first occurred. He now says he
meant he didn't have visitation with his dad. He would never go
down there or stay with him. Instead, his dad would come up
here three or four times a year, and they'd hang out a bit. I
decided to take him at his word on that, since I can't see
anything for him to gain, and they till didn't know how to get
hold of each other.
Mr. Connelly did explain a few things. Wait - let me set
something up first.
CPS was involved in tracking down Mr. Connelly, so we know need
CPS approval to relocate Kaden, especially because of questions
over the restraining order.
We're not going to get that approval.
In the first place, Mr. Connelly and his family are still
waiting to hear from their insurance company about the house.
Second, he does have job now, but he's barely making half of
what he was. Third, he, his wife, 10-year old step-daughter,
and two toddler age kids (4 year old girl, 3-year old boy)are
all sharing a two-bedroom apartment. Finally, Kaden hates his
step-mother, refuses to have anything to do with her, and she's
the reason he hasn't 'had visitation' with his dad in four or
five years.
I have no idea what caused the divorce, and no real way to ask,
but Mr. Connelly remarried quickly, and she was pregnant quickly
(but not less than nine-months quickly, as far as I can tell).
Possibly the first time Kaden was staying with them after they'd
married, Dad was gone somewhere (work?). Kaden and his
step-sister were trying to watch TV, but she wanted to watch or
do something else. When he refused, she starting pinching and
hitting him He told her to stop, she didn't. He told her mom,
who didn't do anything. She did it again, he hit her. THEN,
the step-mom decided to do something - she whipped Kaden, in
front of the step-sister, and made him apologize 'if (he) didn't
want another dose'. When Dad got home, he listened to Kaden,
talked to Mom, and the sister got spanked (in private) and had
to apologize. Step-mom apparently didn't. Kaden told his mom,
somehow got a restraining order, and Kaden not having to visit
was part of the agreement that got everything dropped.
Kaden's dad does want to come up and visit him, and maybe talk
about what's needed to get him back. In the meantme, school's
out early tomorrow, we're riding the North Pole Express Wed, and
going to Holiday in the Park Friday. Mr. Connelly has to work
Thursday, and he can't really afford to take off work (and his
days off are today and tomorrow). He's trying to get someone to
trade tomorrow with Thursday, so he can come up then. If not,
he'll be here next week.
Dad doesn't know anything about Mom - even less than Kade does.
In the meantime, he and Kaden have talked, and I think Kaden
seems a bit more relaxed, just knowing that.
#Post#: 2316--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: kalico Date: December 18, 2017, 10:31 pm
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Aww I'm happy they are talking and it kinda sounds like you'll
be having him for awhile and I how it all works out in what's
best for this young man.....
Your a good man jack!
Hugs kal
#Post#: 2363--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 20, 2017, 9:52 am
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Woke up last night, found Kaden sitting in the hall right
outside my doorway crying. This was about 2am.
I don't want to say it was no big deal. The problem is that
he's 14, and fourteen-year olds have enough trouble have enough
trouble dealing with emotions and moving on, or putting
something aside until you can actually deal with it. Let's say
instead that Kaden is having the same problems with his mom, but
it's the same solution to get him through it, he just needs a
bit of help and support while he's doing it.
I asked him why he was sitting there. He said he didn't want to
wake me. The real problem is that I keep the house cooler
overnight, and he'd been sitting there long enough to be
shivering.
I sat down next to him for a long hug, and he cuddled up against
me (I was only wearing Tiger briefs, but I'd just been under the
comforter, so I was a bit warmer than he was.
I let him cry on my shoulders a bit, then we got up and moved to
my bed. It was easier to talk once he was under the covers, and
I got a t-shirt on. He ended up crying himself out. I got up to
get him a rag and some water, but he fell asleep before I could
get back. I thought about taking him back to his room, but he's
way too big for me to carry that far (and upstairs) and I
decided it was bet to let him sleep. When he woke this morning,
we got his stuff together and moved him down to Kenny and Colt's
room, where he'll be staying until he goes home or the college
kids go back to school.
#Post#: 2365--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Zyngaru Date: December 20, 2017, 10:27 am
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I have said it before but it needs to be said again. I am so
happy that you are there for Kaden and the other boys.
It is a testament to how close you become to boys in a short
period of time, in that Kaden was comfortable coming to you in
the middle of the night, instead of suffering through his
emotions in secret.
I've experienced that a few times throughout my life. Usually I
wake up to a small noise. The boy wants me to wake up but he
doesn't actually want to wake me up, so he makes little noises
hoping that will wake me up. Then we spend an hour or so just
talking things over and usually praying, before I tuck them back
into bed.
Kaden has some tough things to sort out in his mind and heart.
As you said, just being 14 is enough of an emotional roller
coaster, without having family issues along with it.
So happy that you are there for him, and evidently he is happy
you are there also.
#Post#: 2366--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: db105 Date: December 20, 2017, 11:07 am
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Poor Kaden! Men and teenage boys have feelings like any other
human, even if society sometimes teaches them not to express
them. I'm glad you were there for him.
#Post#: 2406--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 21, 2017, 3:44 pm
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I was called by the court clerk this morning, asking if Kaden
and I could work the judge into our schedule today. Of course,
that's the type of request you don't turn down lightly. Since
Kaden had to miss some activity with the other boys, he and i
did stop for lunch on the way.
It seems that his mother has been located.
I didn't get the entire story - I don't think the judge has it
yet. What we do know is that she was found in Arizona (not
Cali). She was arrested more than three weeks ago now. She had
no ID, no money, really not much of anything. She was arrested
for shoplifting. Her phone was gone, and by the time someone
found a number for Kaden, his phone was off Why she didn't
think of having them contact the school, I don't, since it seems
a bit late to worry about official attention. At that point, she
attempted suicide.
The judge had told me this, but we both felt Kaden needed to
know. However, the court room was already pretty well empty,
and he took Kaden and I into his chambers. Kaden broke down for
a bit. He did allow me to hold him while he recovered.
Mom was all right, but they weren't going to release her in that
condition, so she was admitted for observation.
This must have happened right before Kaden's situation was
discovered. By the seventh, there was a missing persons report
for her, though most of the searching was for someone in LA or
California. They ran another check on her this week, and this
time the report showed up, so they contacted our local police,
who contacted the judge, etc. They are going to transfer her
back here, but, because she's in state custody, someone will
have to bring her (or pick her up, i'm not sure which way it
goes), which means it won't happen for a couple of weeks.
"Now, we'll arrange a time for you and your mom to talk. I'll
just have to set that up with Jack, but it brings us to another
problem."
Kaden kind of collapsed a bit right then.
"The problem is that your dad isn't able to care for you right
now, and you apparently would be very against that, right?"
Kaden nodded.
"Not only is your mom still facing questions about leaving you
alone for an extended length of time, but I doubt they'll be
willing to let her be your guardian until they're sure she's
more stable. Do you undertand?"
He nodded again.
"And we really haven't found other relatives, so we need to
figure out what to do with you."
He looked at the judge, then looked at me, then back at the
judge.
"I can't just stay with Jack?"
The judge had already winked at me, so I knew he was mostly
playing.
"He's not to strict on you? I seem to remember him promising to
tear you up before you'd even moved in with him."
"But I deserved that," Kaden protested.
"So that's the only time you've been in trouble?"
"No, he had to paddle me once, because I kept forgetting the
rules, but he's taken real good care of me."
"Well, if you've only been in trouble once, you must be doing
pretty well."
Now remember, Kaden is nearly six feet, but he's still very
lean. He has slightly dark blond hair, but fair skin, and at
this point, he was blushing deeply, and refusing to look at
either one of us.
"Mostly, I guess. But..." He took a deep breath. "I lied to
Jack the other day, and broke a rule, so I'm probably gonna get
busted again when we get home."
It's good that Kaden was studying the carpet, because he didn't
notice the judge raise an eyebrow at me when Kaden referred to
'home'.
"And you stlill want to go back there, even with all those other
kids, and expecting to get your butt busted?"
"Yeah - I mean, yes, sir. It's great there with all the guys,
and Jack just wants me to learn to act right. Please, Jack, I'm
sorry I messed up."
The judge was giving him (and me) a bit of a hard time, because
we'd expected it to be a short-term thing, but now there's no
telling how long it might last. There's no chance of an
adoption in this case, but, if we both agreed, well - to make a
long story short, while it won't be official for a couple of
weeks, because of the holiday, I have been appointed Kaden's
sole managing conservator, until one of his parents proves able
to take that responsibility.
Kaden's been a bit emotionally volatile the rest of the
afternoon. I think a lot of it's just relief. He finally knows
his mom is alive, if not exactly in great shape, and he knows
he's got a stable place to stay while everything else works out.
I finally took him to my room and put him down for a nap.
#Post#: 2407--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: jackson Date: December 21, 2017, 3:45 pm
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Do you think that Kaden will eventually go back to being with
his dad and step-mom?
#Post#: 2409--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kaden Connelly
By: Jack Date: December 21, 2017, 4:28 pm
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[quote author=jackson link=topic=233.msg2407#msg2407
date=1513892738]
Do you think that Kaden will eventually go back to being with
his dad and step-mom?
[/quote]
I honestly don't think so. I consider what his step-mother did
wasn't exactly abusive, but it is the kind of BS that will
prevent a relationship from ever forming. I think his father's
reaction kind of patched things over between them, but I just
don't think Kaden will ever be willing to live with that woman.
Possibly, if there situation was more stable, he might be forced
to try it anyway, but I think that would be a recipe for
disaster.
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