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#Post#: 6964--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 6, 2018, 4:03 am
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Andy and the guys did visit us for a couple of days during
Spring Break, but nothing happened.
Next week, Andy and the boys will be arriving here on Sunday
evening, staying with us for a couple of nights, then we're all
going to Jellystone Park down south of Fort Worth. It looks
like the younger kids will have a great time there. We have
reservations until Friday, but I'm thinking I might bring the
older boys back on Thursday afternoon.
Sexually, there's really not much else to discuss between the
two of us. I wasn't interested in getting spanked at all, and
he was only interested if it involved females. We did masturbate
together the rest of that week, as well as indulging a bit of
risky behavior when we were out wondering around. I want to say
I hinted at oral sex a couple of times, but I was afraid to be
too blatant, and he was either clueless or faked it from lake of
interest.
The two of us didn't spend time together like that ever again
(until this past year). The only other time I stayed over with
him was in our late teens. I very specifically remember that
night, because I saw Damn the Defiant, which has numerous
examples of boys being caned, though only one on screen. My
aunt and uncle had gone to sleep before he got home from work,
but I waited up for him. We talked for a while, but he was no
longer a virgin at that point, and just wasn't interested in
mutual masturbation.
To update the information on the boys:
AJ (Andy, Jr) is still 14 (his birthday is mid October) and
getting ready to start his freshman year in high school.
Ridley is 13 now, and about to start 8th grade.
Alex is 11 and about to start 6th.
I have found out that, while Uncle Andy didn't physically punish
Andy often, Andy did get whipped at least once after he was in
high school. That came out, because Andy says he really feels
like AJ is too old to whup for most stuff, but he can still
think of a situation or two where he'd get the belt. The last I
heard, Ridley had had a couple of encounters with the belt this
past semester, but not one since he turned 13 in April, though
he's definitely still under threat of it.
Alex, who hasn't hit a growth spurt yet, mostly still gets
spanked by hand or a small paddle, instead of getting the belt,
and he's apparently had several this year.
Andy knows I'm into spanking boys, but he's also spent enough
time around me and my boys to know I don't take advantage of it
(those were his actual words to me). I don't have official
permission to spank his boys (I've never been around them when
he wasn't here as well, so I've never needed it). On the other
hand, I think that bothered him a bit, and it explained
something that had been bothering me for a while. Andy and I
hadn't really talked in more than 20 years (since his parents
passed away), when he called me up out of the blue last year,
and I kept expecting him to talk to me. The thing is, it
involved some spanking and other stuff, and I think he needed to
be comfortable with me again before he could open up...
Which I'll have to talk about in the next post. Sorry
#Post#: 6989--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Leti Date: July 7, 2018, 1:27 am
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Good that your cousin Andy and his kiddies will visit you next
week. You will have time to talk more.
Thanks for sharing, Jack
#Post#: 7004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Adric Date: July 7, 2018, 8:16 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=175.msg6964#msg6964
date=1530867824]
... he called me up out of the blue last year, and I kept
expecting him to talk to me. The thing is, it involved some
spanking and other stuff, and I think he needed to be
comfortable with me again before he could open up...
Which I'll have to talk about in the next post. Sorry
[/quote]
Maybe he'll be able to get to the point during the coming visit.
Must be a bit frustrating to be with someone that you know
shares an interest but not in a compatible way. It will be
interesting to hear how this unfolds.
#Post#: 7074--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 9, 2018, 4:37 am
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I need to talk about what happened with Andy that ended up with
him contacting me, but it'll take a while, and I haven't had
energy to delve into it.
In the meantime, I'm just going to say that he and the boys
arrived yesterday late afternoon. He's actually asleep in my
office right now, while the boys are spread out with my boys.
We're just hanging out here today. Andy's boys usually stay
with Larry (Andy's adult son) while he's at work, but there's
been stuff going on this summer (home and work), so Andy says
he's been short on personal time for a couple of months now.
The boys are going to hang out here today, and Andy's going to
take off for a while this afternoon and just hang out by himself
for a few hours - I think he said he wants to see Sicarri: Day
of the Soldado. He's also said he wants to ask some parenting
advice from me, but we were both pretty tired by the time we got
everyone settled in, so it didn't happen last night, but we have
all week, so it's probably no rush.
#Post#: 7156--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 10, 2018, 3:18 pm
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Andy and I did get our parenting talk in last night.
It turns out his problem is his step/adopted son, Ridley.
The thing is, Ridley is nothing like his two older brothers.
Since there's no genetic link, that's not too surprising.
What it really comes down to is that Ridley isn't big for his
age, and he's not especially mature. With Larry and AJ, about
the time they turned 13, Andy was using the belt when needed.
Part of the reason Ridley's only had the belt a couple of times,
and not recently, is that Andy feels the belt is too harsh for
Ridley. Also, despite being closer in age to AJ, Ridley and
Alex are very close and still get in trouble more than Ridley
and AJ ever did. However, the paddle he uses on Alex just
doesn't seem effective on Ridley anymore.
This was actually a pretty easy problem. I suggested that he
start by talking with Ridley. Perception is important, and
Ridley should understand why he's being treated differently than
AJ. Given the situation, I'd be surprised if he's not more or
less okay to be treated the same way as the brother to whom he's
closest. Next step is to remind Ridley of the size difference
between him and Alex, and find a paddle for him that will do the
job properly. Ridley isn't much smaller than Kenny, so I'd
imagine the Red Maple would do the job just fine.
#Post#: 7254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 14, 2018, 5:42 am
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Ridley has talked to me since he was told that he'd be getting a
new paddle. He actually didn't seem bothered by the idea.
While I'm not going to say he liked the idea, I think he did
like that his dad was paying attention to him and considering
his needs. Ridley is about a year and a half younger than AJ,
but AJ is about as tall as I am, while Ridley's only a couple of
inches over five foot. The couple of times he did get the belt
were pretty hard on him (though Andy told me he went pretty
easy), and the fact that his big brother breaks down when he
gets the belt makes it pretty scary to Ridley. On the other
hand, Rid is 13, and he doesn't like being treated the same way
as Alex, either. While he'd probably rather get the lighter
spankings, considering that his big brother is at least still
threatened with the occasional whupping, I think Ridley is
comfortable with this.
[hr]
I've talked several times about the long time Andy and I were
out of communication (we were pretty much at the Christmas Card
stage for a while), and how I felt like he wanted to talk about
something, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. When he finally
came clean, it turns out that part of the problem he had in
discussing it was that he is a bit of a spanko, though
fem-oriented (though not actually into getting spanked himself,
beyond a bit of slap and tickle), and he remembers that I'm also
a spanko, but more gay-oriented.
Over the last (nearly three years now, since it's been last fall
since he first contacted me), Andy had a lot of trouble with his
adult daughter and his ex-wife.
To recap, Andy has two children from his first marriage - Larry
is 28 and Nancy is 30. When Nancy was 15, she got pregnant.
Her parents adopted the child, who is AJ (14). I don't remember
the exact date, but Andy's first wife died is deceased. He
re-married a woman who had two young children - Ridley (13) and
a sister, whom I think was about AJ's age (14 or 15). The two
of them had two more children (Alex - 11, and a daughter who is
9). Andy adopted his two step-children.
Around three years ago now, his wife started talking about
wanting a divorce. I'm not clear on the exact timeline, but at
some point, the woman accused Ridley - her own son! - of
molesting his sisters. Unless Andy is a political quality liar,
he doesn't know what made her think or claim this. Ultimately,
nothing came of the investigation, but she had taken the two
girls with her, leaving the boys with Andy, and that ended up
being how the custody issue was settled. Andy and the boys were
left feeling confused and hurt, and there hasn't been a lot of
contact between them, exact Andy visiting with his daughters.
He said it was almost like his ex-wife developed a sudden onset
attack of boy-phobia.
So, life goes on, things are settling down, and maybe 18 months
ago now, Andy learns he's been accused of child abuse, and CPS
is at school interviewing his sons. Apparently the CPS agent
believed the boys when they not only said they hadn't been
abused, but that they didn't' even know what could have
suggested they had been. I'm not sure what might have happened
then, except it turned out that the report had been made by
Nancy - AJ's biological mother - who was also trying to get
custody of him back. The boys ended up staying with Larry for a
couple of days while interviews were conducted, but CPS never
took the boys, and they were back home after a couple of nights.
Andy didn't file a complaint against her, and she didn't have a
chance of getting custody back (AJ wasn't even interested in the
idea and hadn't been consulted). However, Larry did talk to CPS
and deny that, not only had he never been abused, but that his
sister had been spoiled by their father, and their mother had
handled most of their discipline, and almost all the discipline
towards Nancy, because Dad was so soft towards her.
Which brings us up to Andy calling me. He's obviously not
spending much time with his ex-wife or daughter, and Larry and
his family were going to be spending Thanksgiving with Larry's
in-laws, so Andy decided he and the boys needed to spend their
first major holiday sense all that mess had finished up doing
something different. And he thought about his old cousin down
here. Because of the amount of discussion of 'whupping boys'
that was involved (and how it was done), he needed to get to
know me and get comfortable with me again before he was willing
to bring the issue up.
And I think that catches us all up. Andy needs to be back at
work Monday morning, but they don't have anything that has to be
done at home. I've invited him to leave the boys here for a
week or so, like he and I once spent time together. He's going
to talk to them about it today and see what they think.
#Post#: 7256--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: kalico Date: July 14, 2018, 9:32 am
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Oh wow that’s tough ..... happy you had you as a sounding board
and someone to talk to and get advice...
Hope the kiddos get to stay and that everything settles down for
them....
Hugs kal
#Post#: 7309--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 15, 2018, 4:11 pm
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The boys are going to be staying here for a bit over a week.
While they all want to get back home and hang out with their
friends, they've all three made friends here, and there's always
a lot going on, so they were happy to be invited.
Unfortunately, their visit started off with sore bottoms for
Ridley and Alex.
Andy had talked with all three boys about my offer on Saturday
morning. While my boys were in here, cleaning up after our
vacation, Andy and his boys were in their RV doing basically the
same thing. By lunch time, all three of them had decided to
stay. Andy is trying to do the same thing I am, where he makes
the boys responsible for something, then follows up on them. In
this case, since they were doing laundry here, they just took
all their clothes to the bedrooms in which they'd be staying.
All they really had to do was get some incidental stuff out of
the RV. Andy told them to do it, reminded them about dinner
time, and asked if they had done it before bedtime.
Just after lunch today, as he was getting ready to leave, they
suddenly dashed to the RV, needing to get 'just a few things'.
Andy was not amused.
Andy borrowed the Tailblazer and the Red Maple and took both
boys to my bedroom for some privacy. I did overhear a bit.
While it wasn't a barn burner, it sounds like both boys got a
pretty good dose - probably for having lied about having
finished as much as actually not doing it. After he was
finished and the boys had a bit of recovery time, Andy helped
them get the rest of their stuff out. Both of them might have
been just a bit sullen, but Andy did get hugs before he left, so
I guess everything was okay.
#Post#: 7654--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: db105 Date: July 29, 2018, 5:13 am
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My mom did most of the work around the house. Then she'd ask for
help with something and got mad because we didn't immediately
stop what were doing and jump to help. I tried to tell her that
I preferred having some tasks that were my responsibility and do
then at my convenience, but it was not in her nature to delegate
like that, and she was going at guilt-tripping (after all, she
did such a lot of work for us and we did little).
I think the approach of giving kids some responsibilities and
expecting them to do them is a better approach.
#Post#: 7662--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Andy
By: Jack Date: July 29, 2018, 8:22 am
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I have ran into parents like your mom before. I think I've
talked about how my mom and step-dad were both like that.
Instead of giving me stuff to do and a deadline, they'd tell me
that I needed to do something right then - usually when I was
either already doing something, or when I came to their
attention by asking for permission.
I recently saw a blog post where a women basically bragged about
taking everything away from her son and giving him a list of
things he had to do to 'earn privileges'. She pretty much
straight out said that she did it the same was my parents (and
your mom) had done it - asking him to quit what he was doing and
do what she wanted done, because her wants and desires are
always more important than a child's. I understand expecting
responsiveness and obedience, but I think that kind of behavior
is nothing but self-centered and obnoxious.
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