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#Post#: 16219--------------------------------------------------
5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: Jack Date: December 4, 2019, 5:34 pm
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I was very confused for a minute. The fact that I felt terrible
didn’t help.
It took a few seconds for me to realize that I must have fallen
asleep. My nose was stuffed up, my eyes were sore, and my face
was a bit itchy with dried tears. I was cold, and I shivered as
I realized it.
I pushed myself upright onto the floor, carefully stretched,
then looked around. Dad had told me to get my chores done, plus
extras, but my room was pretty clean, except the bed needed to
be straightened. I thought for a moment, then gave myself a
shake.
“Bailey Connor Stewart,” I told myself, “this is not the end of
the world. The paddling’s already done, and you know what Dad’s
like.”
I shivered again, then made a decision. I shucked my boxers off
and threw them to the dirty clothes hamper, then headed for the
bathroom. For one thing, I think I woke up because I needed to
pee. For another, I was chilly and I’d had two hard cries so
far, and a shower would help me feel better.
A few minutes later, the hot water was making me feel much
better - mostly. I hadn’t thought my butt was sore, but when the
hot water hit it, it began to sting more, so I’d turned around
and cooled the water off a bit. I think the long drink of water
I’d had first helped more. Maybe I’d been a little dehydrated
I was certainly tense, though, and the warm water on my
shoulders made me feel much better. I risked making the water a
little bit hotter, then turned around. Scrubbing my face helped
a lot.
That just led me back to thinking how the whole thing wasn’t
fair. No one believed me when I told them I didn’t know what
had happened to the money. I mean, if I’d taken it, wouldn’t I
have made up a better story? Did they think I was stupid? But
no one thought about that. No one listened to me. It was so
unfair, and Dad probably was going to whup me when he got home.
I’d pulled on a fresh pair of knit boxers and a big thermal
t-shirt. I tried to think about what chores I could do to keep
dad from getting pis… more pissed, but I had everything pretty
much done. I decided to make something to eat - maybe a bowl of
chili, and I could clean up the kitchen a bit when I was done
with it.
Once I got to the kitchen, chili just didn’t sound good. I put
some tomato soup in the microwave and made a grilled cheese
sandwich. I guess it was good, but I didn’t really notice it
much, and it felt heavy in my stomach.
I sat for a minute after I finished, but it didn’t help. I
cleaned my dishes and wiped everything down, then started the
dishwasher running.
The thing is, yeah, Dad was usually pretty fair about when he
whupped me, but that didn’t mean every time. This wasn’t the
first time him or Mom didn’t believe me when I was telling the
truth. ‘The problem,’ they always told me in cases like that,
‘is that this isn't the first time you’ve lied to us, Bailey.’
Sure, like they’d never lied to me when they wanted to cover
something up.
I checked to make sure the trash didn’t need to be taken out,
but couldn’t think of anything else to do. I leaned up against
the counter and hissed. Sure, maybe my butt didn’t really hurt
anymore, but it didn’t feel good either. The skin on my butt
and legs felt really tight when I tried to move, and I was still
really… I dunno, tender?
I sobbed as I thought about how hard Dad used the belt. I think
he usually gave me about my age with it, but I was pretty sure
he’d given me more than that before. Even when I wasn’t already
sensitive, a whupping from him left me crying hard and loud and
really, really sore. I didn’t know how I was going to take a
‘worst whupping ever’, especially not when I was already tender.
The thing is, as much as I wanted to believe Dad was going to be
fair, and that he’d be understanding, I couldn’t help
remembering stuff. I couldn’t help thinking about how Mom
complained that Dad was too easy on me. I couldn’t help but
think about how mad Dad had been after that time when I was 11,
and I’d been caught shoplifting, and that just made me think
about how I’d had to sleep on my belly that night.
Before I realized it, tears were running down my face. It
wasn’t fair, and I just didn’t know what to do.
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#Post#: 16226--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened Once Christmas Chapter Five
By: No Way Out Date: December 5, 2019, 1:59 am
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I read the first few chapters with mixed feelings. I'm really
suffering, because the protagonist's misery, his feelings of
injustice and desperation feel very authentic. I am a softie, I
just can't help it.
On the other hand I love stories where the protagonist's
thoughts and emotions are described elaborately, and on top of
it, they are very well written. So thank you very much for
sharing this, Jack!
I'll stick around a bit longer and hope for the best. Maybe
Santa Jack will bring me a happy ending...? ;)
#Post#: 16229--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened Once Christmas Chapter Five
By: Jack Date: December 5, 2019, 5:57 am
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I hope you chose to stick it out, NWO (and I thank you for your
comments on the writing).
I have actually addressed this point in the author's forward for
these stories. I'm sorry you find it hard going now, but I hope
you find it worth sticking it out.
#Post#: 16230--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened Once Christmas Chapter Five
By: No Way Out Date: December 5, 2019, 6:48 am
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Yeah I know, I was warned, and of course it's not your fault I'm
such a wuss. ;)
I don't mind books or movies that are a bit darker (Pan's
Labyrinth for example... awesome!), but I guess when it comes to
spanking stories I'm looking for loving families. But of course,
readers' preferences are widely different, and authors should
write what they want and feel most comfortable with, not what
readers want them to.
Just do your thing. I was just trying to give an honest report
about my reaction to the first chapters.
#Post#: 16231--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: David M. Katz Date: December 5, 2019, 9:17 am
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I agree with NWO. If I didn't know the author and highly
suspect that this is eventually going to turn out well then I
would be starting to get pissed. I feel so badly for Bailey and
really do not like his dad or school administration right now.
Jack is doing a great job of connecting us with Bailey's
feelings and it does bring out strong emotion.
Maybe Chapter Six will hold some happier news?
[emoji319]
#Post#: 16232--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: Jack Date: December 5, 2019, 9:25 am
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NWO - I thank you for your honest feedback, I just don't want
you to give up on the story.
There are a lot of things I don't want to discuss now, but I
hope to discuss them in depth when the serial is over, and I
think the way things are now will make a lot more sense then.
David, knowing you're feelings this time of year - I'm happy to
see you here and commenting.
Thanks to everyone who's reading so far.
#Post#: 16244--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: Zyngaru Date: December 6, 2019, 7:55 am
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I agree with NWO about the emotions and feeling in the story.
That is what draws me to a story and keeps me into it. Just the
factual plot won't do it for me. I need to know how the people
in the story feel. I am getting Bailey's emotions in spades
(Card reference, for anyone who hasn't heard it before) and am
loving it.
For me, I don't have to have a "Happily Ever After" ending. If
it happens for Bailey, great. But if it doesn't and he just
lives it out miserably, then I am OK with that, because life
doesn't always come out roses.
We do see that Bailey has a history, (Shoplifting and lying) so
dad's reaction isn't out of the blue. We also see that there
were times Bailey told the truth and wasn't believed and was
punished. So this story could go either way and be believable.
I do think I know where the money went, But I am not saying
anything about it, because if I'm right I don't want to spoil
the story for anyone, including myself.
#Post#: 16247--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: Jack Date: December 6, 2019, 8:24 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=1603.msg16244#msg16244
date=1575640502]
I do think I know where the money went, But I am not saying
anything about it, because if I'm right I don't want to spoil
the story for anyone, including myself.
[/quote]
You (and anyone else who thinks they know what happened) should
PM me the answer. I won't respond, but I will recognize those
who realized what happened after I post the last chapter.
#Post#: 16293--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: db105 Date: December 8, 2019, 7:59 am
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Aww, poor Bailey. He's already had a hard paddling and now he's
anticipating another whuppin.
And the story has gone from third to first person. Let's see
what happens now.
#Post#: 16297--------------------------------------------------
Re: 5 December 2019 - It Happened One Christmas Chapter Five
By: Jack Date: December 8, 2019, 12:59 pm
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[quote author=db105 link=topic=1603.msg16293#msg16293
date=1575813590]
And the story has gone from third to first person. Let's see
what happens now.
[/quote]
This story has been under work for about a year itself. Kat had
originally suggested I write the entire thing in first person.
I understood his point, and I wanted to get inside Bailey's
head, but I just didn't feel it worked for the first chapter. I
felt Bailey would be too stressed out, and I needed the
narrator's voice to establish some things I felt had to be
there, and I just couldn't work them into the story using
Bailey's POV.
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