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#Post#: 13748--------------------------------------------------
Chore Strikes
By: Jack Date: July 9, 2019, 6:29 am
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Zyngaru had asked about chore strikes in response to a BOTD, so
I thought I'd just post a quick explanation separately for
future reference.
I make a list of what chores the boys are expected to do on a
daily basis (the chores are daily, I make the list once a week,
though I normally more or less repeat the same list). Since I
use a maid service and a lawn service, the chores are much less
odious than they probably are for many kids. Still, the maids
don't do the boys' rooms (they clean the boys' bathrooms once a
month to make sure they're really clean and moderately sterile,
but the boys are expected to do it daily). Some chores - like
laundry - aren't available for all the kids, since Curtis still
isn't quite tall enough to reach where I keep the detergent and
stuff, even using a step ladder, so I handle most of that.
The chores basically come down to helping with family stuff -
preparing meals, setting the table, and cleaning up after,
cleaning the public spaces, shared laundry, cleaning up after
themselves, and caring for the pets is the vast majority of
them. I do break stuff down, rather than giving them a general
task like 'clean your room', I have things like 'empty laundry
hamper' or 'empty bedroom trash', especially in roommate
situations.
So, on to the actual strikes.
During the school year, I try to do a walk around as close to
8pm as possible, so the boys know when the deadline really is.
If I'm late, it doesn't matter, but I won't strike if I do it
early for some reason. During the summer, it used to be 10am -
now it's more general, but that's still when they're supposed to
be done (excepting anything that's time specific, like helping
with dinner).
When a boy gets a strike, that's all it is. He is still
required to do the chore in most cases. Strikes can be given if
chores aren't done correctly (not cleaning the counter or sinks
if you're responsible for cleaning up after a meal, for
instance), but that could also just earn a warning.
Strikes stay for three weeks.
When you get two strikes in a three week period, you can ask for
a 'work off', which is a more challenging chore (cleaning a
grill is a regular one). One can only use one WO in a three
week period.
When you get three strikes, you get spanked. If you have a WO,
the spanking is more intense. Normally, I don't feel the need
to make these 'barn burners'. I often give 'just' hand
spankings with the younger boys.
I was very strict with this when the forum started (more than 10
years ago now). Noah had recently moved in at the time, and I
had Mickey (13), Noah and Barry (both 12), Johnny and Josh (both
11), Bryce (10) and Van (7). I won't worry here about the
reasons, but chores became a big deal. Looking back, I think I
probably blew things up more than they should have been, though
I'm pretty sure the rules (or the consequences for violations)
weren't too heinous.
These days, I don't often have to spank for chores. It was a
problem for Leif for a long time, and Devon received more than a
couple of spankings for violations, but the other boys seem to
have settled into the system pretty well.
#Post#: 13750--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chore Strikes
By: Zyngaru Date: July 9, 2019, 8:34 am
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Would this system also apply to a spontaneous verbal chore, or
would that go down as disobedience if not done. Example, A last
minute meeting with some people comes up for the next early
evening and you are going to have it out on the patio. You
verbally give the chore (responsibility) to power wash the patio
and have it done by noon so it has time to dry and be set up for
the meeting to one of the boys. At 1 in the afternoon the patio
still hasn't been washed? Is that a strike or a disobedience.
Won't get into the background as to why the job wasn't done,
just that it wasn't after you had told the boy to do it and he
understood he was supposed to do it.
At my age, this information probably will never be used. I
doubt that I will ever have kids in my care again. I am
enjoying the simple life of retirement. Especially with my
sister off in Colorado visiting her boys, I can stay nude at
home all day long if I want. But the information still is
useful and who knows what the future will hold?
#Post#: 13759--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chore Strikes
By: Jack Date: July 9, 2019, 3:40 pm
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One thing you have to remember is the number of boys around
here. When I do have an 'emergency chore' come up, I usually
have a non-family volunteer who's happy to help out (which often
brings complaints from parents who say they can't get that same
kid to do a darned thing around their own home, but that's
another story). I will normally tell the boys what needs to be
done, ask for a volunteer, and offer a reward of some type for
doing it. Because of the age range of my kids (and probably
because this is their second family), I've never had a lot of
trouble getting that type of thing done.
If I was in a situation like you described, and it didn't get
done, it would probably depend on the situation, but I lean
towards considering it disobedience.
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