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#Post#: 14313--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: August 8, 2019, 7:46 am
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Just a quick update. The home visit went fine, as we knew it
would. I explained that, once the college kids had gone back to
school, we were going to be rearranging the rooms so we could
repaint and clean the carpet, explained what we're tentatively
planning for the future room usage, and showed basically the
'personal area' Craig was going to have. No problems there.
The interviews are taking a bit longer, since they are kind of
squeezing these in at the last minute. They're mostly pro
forma.
Actually, there are a few things to say, but I just realized
there are some details I don't think I've ever shared, so I need
to go back and re-read this to make sure, and, if not, it'll
take a while to do. I'll have to try to do that this afternoon
- grocery shopping for now.
#Post#: 14316--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: August 8, 2019, 8:27 am
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Craig is physically already at your house, correct?
This would mean unless something drastic happened, this is
pretty much a done deal, just need to meet all of the red tape
issues.
It would be different if he was physically at his other Foster
Home, waiting for the details to get worked out.
#Post#: 14357--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: August 10, 2019, 6:52 pm
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Craig and Chance are going out west Tuesday and Wednesday, so
Craig has a chance to say goodbye to his friends at the home and
make sure they have each others e-mails and everything.
It seems this is the time I should mention why the two of them
have been in foster care.
When Chance was 11 or just turned 12, he was 'molested'.
Let's go back and start by saying that their Mom was just 15
when Chance was born. They lived with her parents for a number
of years. As far as Chance remembers, they are probably in
their early 60s now. However, he doesn't know what happened to
them, just that they're not in the picture now.
When he was in early grade school - probably second grade - they
moved away from his grandparents. He's pretty sure he saw them
after that, but it wasn't often, and he doesn't remember when
the last time was. What he's told me is that, looking back,
he's pretty sure his grandparents were fairly strict Christians,
and his mom was a party girl, which led to a falling out between
them.
Chance said his grandmother spanked occasionally when he was
younger, and Grandpa did rarely (Grandma was apparently at home
a lot more). Mom did as well, but she tended to be less regular
and more emotionally driven about it. He also admits that at
least a couple of his mom's longer term boyfriends spanked him
at times.
To make a long story short, Mom had a number of boyfriends.
Remember, when Chance was 11 his mom would have only been 26,
and apparently she didn't mind younger guys. Once, when Mom was
probably partied out (unconscious), one of her boyfriends
spanked him. This spanking was bare, which was unusual but not
unique for Chance. The thing is, afterwards, the guy 'taught
him how to masturbate'.
Chance isn't exactly sure what happened, but the word got out.
There wouldn't have been a problem for the family, except it
became obvious during the investigation, that Mom was not only
self-medicating herself into unconsciousness, but she was
sometimes going out and leaving the boys alone. From everything
I know, Mom wouldn't have gone to jail for that and she should
have been able to regain custody of the kids without a huge
amount of trouble. Chance has no idea why she never did, if she
even tried, or what happened to her parents.
Chance says Craig was spanked in the past, but nothing abusive
and not frequently, since he was only 5 or 6 when they were
removed form Mom's house. We're also not sure why Craig never
got a forever home, but there are so many kids in the Texas
Foster system, and people looking to adopt usually prefer the
youngest kids, so there's really no telling.
As of this afternoon, all the interviews are done. Now we're
just awaiting word, but I haven't heard anything that even hints
at this not working out.
Chance gets along with Liam, Zeke, and Jeremy well, and he's
looking forward to getting moved in here. We were talking about
the rules he'd have to obey. He has no problem with them, and
says he's not the type to go hang out all night partying anyway.
He also joked that, if he does screw up the rules from time to
time, I can always treat him like I do Liam. That leaves me
wondering if he knows what actually happens to Liam when he acts
up.
#Post#: 14360--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: August 10, 2019, 11:19 pm
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=1324.msg14357#msg14357
date=1565481176]
He also joked that, if he does screw up the rules from time to
time, I can always treat him like I do Liam. That leaves me
wondering if he knows what actually happens to Liam when he acts
up.
[/quote]
Oh! You might think he was joking, but there will be some
element of truth in his statement.
I would bet the farm that he knows exactly what happens to Liam
when he acts up. I am sure the boys have talked extensively
about how life is at the House That Jack Built. Not only does
Chance know, but so does Craig. As you have already shared,
Craig had his test spanking. Both boys know as much as they can
about living in your house, short of the experience itself.
#Post#: 14477--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: August 15, 2019, 2:34 pm
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Wanted to let everyone know that the paperwork on Craig came
through today, and it's better than I expected.
Let me start by saying that I'm in a weird situation. While I'm
technically classed as a group home, pretty much all the foster
kids who've come here have ended up part of our family - adopted
whenever that was an option. With that in mind, the home and
CPS... office? out west was not only happy to place him here,
but, after due diligence with a home check and interviews, they
were willing to transfer his case here, which will make things
easier all around.
I'm not rushing into any decisions right now. Everything has
been coming at Craig pretty quick. He was gone Tuesday and most
of yesterday to visit his old friends, and school starts here
next Wednesday. He's a bit overwhelmed right now, and I want to
give him time to settle in and get his feet back under him
before we start thinking about anything else.
#Post#: 14479--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: db105 Date: August 15, 2019, 3:18 pm
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:) I'm glad for Craig.
#Post#: 14480--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: August 15, 2019, 3:50 pm
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Absolutely Wonderful! ;D
#Post#: 14495--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: August 16, 2019, 2:21 pm
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We had our traditional celebration dinner last night. I'd had
no clue on the exact timing, but I'd hoped it was coming, so I'd
prepared.
We started with grilled shrimp, then went to porterhouse steaks
with bacon wrapped scallops, roast potato wedges, garlic and
Parmesan toast, and a garden salad, with sauteed onions, garlic,
and mushrooms for those who wanted a steak topper. For dessert,
we had a cheesecake bar.
It was great that it happened yesterday, since John didn't have
to leave this morning. Ryan is through with his summer job, and
he and Thomas were already planning to join us this weekend to
see his brothers before they all start back, and I was able to
get them to come a day early. PJ, Bridgette, and her kids, and
Marcus, Chris, and Jason were all able to join us with their
families, along with Daniel, so pretty most of the immediate
family was there.
Craig and Chance were both pretty overwhelmed - Chance
especially. Craig is a bit more outgoing than his older brother.
Not much else to say. I have noticed that, when Craig has the
occasional chance to sit still for a minute, he starts to
develop a bit of a stunned look, but I think he's pretty happy
overall.
#Post#: 14496--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: db105 Date: August 16, 2019, 3:10 pm
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=1324.msg14495#msg14495
date=1565983281]Not much else to say. I have noticed that, when
Craig has the occasional chance to sit still for a minute, he
starts to develop a bit of a stunned look, but I think he's
pretty happy overall.
[/quote]
;D I bet he's happy and overwhelmed.
#Post#: 15470--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: October 13, 2019, 8:56 am
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Things are going well with Chance.
He had some trouble with classes last year. I'd suggested he
quit work to concentrate on school, but he really enjoys his
job, so we agreed on cutting his hours back, and he's only
taking 13 hours this semester (he's taking Eng 201, History 102,
Intro Business, and College Algebra, plus a general fitness
class). He's also working Tu, Th, and a half day Wed afternoon,
which is working out so far, though it's making his Wednesday's
a bit full.
We haven't had a lot of trouble with discipline issues. With
just a couple of exceptions (I think I used one of them as a
BOTD not too long ago), he's either following the rules or
willing to be corrected. You can tell he's not used to a
situation like this, but he pretty obviously wants to fit in,
and he seems to be working hard to do that.
One thing I really like is that, while he does give Craig a bit
of extra attention, he's really good with Connor and Curtis, and
he's just as willing to help Kenny or Devon as he is Craig.
He did have a few problems adjusting to how we do homework and
chores, but after a short adjustment period, he seems to be
doing really well with them, and he said the homework folder and
having a calendar to fill in so he can see what he needs to do
has been a huge help.
Other than that, it looks like he's really anticipating the
holidays, and I think he's more excited about getting ready for
Halloween than C&C. He does have classes tomorrow, but he's
going to meet us at the State Fair right after, and it'll be his
first time, so he's really excited about that as well.
Over all, I'd say things are going really well, he's settling in
without much problem, and he seems to be really happy.
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