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#Post#: 14065--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: July 26, 2019, 6:18 pm
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I've been off on updating recently, partly because of being away
from home last week, and partly because of the extra work that
coming back has meant. There are a couple of updates to make
here, though.
To start with, Craig and Chance both had a great time. While
they've both been to Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor, this kind
of intense vacation with a lot of different activities packed in
was something new for both of them. I think they were both
pretty exhausted by the time we arrived home.
While things were pretty packed, Chance and I were able to make
some private time to talk for a while - his idea, not mine.
Chance is mostly going to college because he didn't really know
what else to do. He doesn't feel like he'd be a good fit for
the military, and he really doesn't want to spend the rest of
his life in fast food. On the other hand, he doesn't really
know what he does want to do. That hasn't been a huge problem
so far, since every first year is pretty much the same.
Let's pause here for a second.
I should back up and say that Chance was in foster care for
about six and a half years. While he was with some families,
most of his time was in two different group homes. There were
some good people involved from what he said, but he never felt
like he made a strong, family connection. He admitted he was
jealous of my kids, not because they're living with a rich guy
who more or less spoils them, but because they have a lot of
consistency and structure... and because they live with a rich
guy who more or less spoils them. At this point, he's already
had some trouble with college (he kept a 3.1, but that was hard
on him), and he's not expecting next year to be any easier. He
would like to have a job, but he worries about keeping up with
his school work.
At this point, we're still working out some details, Chance is
going to be staying here.
He was already attending a school in the same system as the one
we have locally, so transferring should be easy with him. We're
checking with his extended education funding right now. He was
mostly worried about if I could give him enough hours to pay for
his apartment and bills, plus have a bit for entertainment,
while working around his school schedule. After we discussed
that, he broached the idea of what it would cost for him to get
custody of Craig.
I gave him a few things he'd need to check on, to get an idea
what it would cost. He did check on that, but I was bouncing
around an idea of my own.
At my invitation, Chance is going to live here, which will
greatly reduce the amount of money he'll need to make. That
way, I will also be able to help him get on a regular schedule
with his school work, and try to help him plan ahead for tests
and stuff. Things will be a bit tight until the current college
boys head back to school, but he already stays here several days
a week, so I think we an handle it. Also, neither Mickey nor
John take their cars to school, so he'll actually have access to
a car, which will make things much easier.
As to his second problem, i've contacted Craig's foster home,
explained that his big brother is going to be living here, and
checked into the possibility of me keeping custody of him.
So yeah - someone give Zyngaru a kewpie doll.
#Post#: 14067--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: kalico Date: July 26, 2019, 11:08 pm
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I knew it.... lol
Happy to hear the two brothers will be staying together and you
are able to help make it easier on them...
Hugs kal
#Post#: 14068--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Leti Date: July 26, 2019, 11:42 pm
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:D I am with Kal!!!
I knew it!
It is great news for all!
Hugs
Leti
#Post#: 14077--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: db105 Date: July 27, 2019, 8:16 am
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It's a bit like a fairy tale. i hope it goes well :)
#Post#: 14078--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: July 27, 2019, 9:36 am
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Funny Jack! ;D ;D ;D
But that one didn't take a crystal ball to see coming.
#Post#: 14150--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: July 30, 2019, 5:03 pm
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I have several updates I want to make, but I figure this is the
one in which most people will have the most interest.
There are several agencies and layers involved in this, and it's
a bit complex. On the other hand, both school systems (here and
where Craig has been attending) are starting school in about
three weeks (21st here, 22nd there). With that in mind, making
this a perfect time to movie, everyone is moving with some sense
of urgency.
Let me start by offering thanks to my family lawyer, the family
court judge here, and Maggie and her supervisor at our local CPS
for their help in getting this together and rolling.
The basic answer is conditionally yes. It turns out that I'm
behind on my annual training, so I'll need to promise to update
that, but they've decided not to hold Craig hostage over the
issue. I just have to promise to make a good faith effort to
get it updated (you have to do it annually when you have foster
kids in your home, but I haven't had foster kids since
completing adoption of the Marsh boys).
They want to talk things over with my boys, with Chance, and
with Craig himself, as well as doing a new home inspection.
Craig really doesn't have a lot of personal stuff, but we're
trying to arrange for him to spend at least a couple of days
visiting his old group home and his friends there. It might be
that he and Chance will have to take a hotel room, but I want
him to have a chance to really say goodbye and keep in touch
with his friends.
#Post#: 14151--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: July 30, 2019, 5:55 pm
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=1324.msg14150#msg14150
date=1564524205]
Craig really doesn't have a lot of personal stuff, but we're
trying to arrange for him to spend at least a couple of days
visiting his old group home and his friends there. It might be
that he and Chance will have to take a hotel room, but I want
him to have a chance to really say goodbye and keep in touch
with his friends.
[/quote]
Craig's group home is going to allow him to visit and say
goodbye? That is something the Foster Care System here doesn't
allow. Kids just disappear with no goodbyes or exchanging of
addresses or anything like that. Here they keep Foster Kids
isolated. Not only from their families and the public but from
each other.
Glad to hear they are trying to expedite things. It is
difficult enough when dealing with Foster Homes within the same
system, but dealing with two different systems, is an improbable
thing to happen. I wish you, and Craig the best in trying to
get it done.
Craig not having much personal things of his own, is normal for
Foster kids here. When a kid is moved from one home to another,
they aren't allowed to take things with them. So they move with
a trash bag of old clothing and that's it. Everything else is
left at the home they are leaving, to be used by the kids at
that home.
I feel really happy for Craig. If this happens, it will be
great for him. He will actually have a family, instead of being
a pawn of the system. Yes, he will still be in the system, but
from what I understand of how Jack does things and how the
authorities work with Jack, Craig should have stability with
Jack and not worry if he will be moved randomly from house to
house.
#Post#: 14156--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: db105 Date: July 30, 2019, 6:45 pm
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How is Craig reacting to all of this? Is he overwhelmed, or
really happy...?
#Post#: 14165--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Jack Date: July 31, 2019, 3:00 pm
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I'm not going to try to find relevant quotes from Zyngaru's
statement, so you might need to refer back to it for these
statements to seem complete.
Under Texas law, I'm licensed as a group home, since I have more
than six kids living here, even though I'm not sure if I've ever
had more than six foster kids - that's just how Texas law
defines it. That means, in this case, what we have is
transferring Craig from one private group home to another. CPS
does have to be involved, since we're changing custody.
Technically we could do it directly, without involving them, but
we believe (on both sides) that it's best to keep things current
and above board.
While I could have fought with his previous/current home, and
probably won, since his big brother is living here, and CPS does
give weight to keeping families together, a friendly approach to
his current foster parents keeps things much friendlier and
helps them move much faster.
[quote author=db105 link=topic=1324.msg14156#msg14156
date=1564530316]
How is Craig reacting to all of this? Is he overwhelmed, or
really happy...?[/quote]
We didn't actually tell Craig about this ahead of time.
He and I (and he and Chance) had talked in general about how he
felt about the group home and how he felt about finding a
forever family, so I already knew that he'd miss some friends,
and he'd be nervous about starting over, but he really hoped to
find a forever family, especially before he starts high school.
With that in mind, after Chance approached me and we decided on
this, we took the initial steps without Craig knowing, so, in
case something came up, he wouldn't be too disappointed. After
I heard back from them yesterday, once things were getting
serious, Chance and I sat down with him last night.
Chance explained that he's really happy here, he has friends, he
loves his job, so he's going to transfer here (for college) and
here (this house) to live, and I'm going to be helping him
develop his study habits and stuff.
Craig was obviously disappointed, but tried to be happy for his
brother. Then we told him we'd talked to his previous group
home, and they're willing to let him move here, if he wants.
He most definitely wants.
I can't really say how he feels, because he was pretty whipsawed
by emotions, and he was really struggling to control himself, so
Chance and I took off to give him some privacy. But yeah, he
was happy.
#Post#: 14170--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chance (19) and Craig (13) Monroe
By: Zyngaru Date: July 31, 2019, 4:31 pm
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=1324.msg14165#msg14165
date=1564603248]
I'm not going to try to find relevant quotes from Zyngaru's
statement, so you might need to refer back to it for these
statements to seem complete.
Under Texas law, I'm licensed as a group home, since I have more
than six kids living here, even though I'm not sure if I've ever
had more than six foster kids - that's just how Texas law
defines it. That means, in this case, what we have is
transferring Craig from one private group home to another. CPS
does have to be involved, since we're changing custody.
Technically we could do it directly, without involving them, but
we believe (on both sides) that it's best to keep things current
and above board.
While I could have fought with his previous/current home, and
probably won, since his big brother is living here, and CPS does
give weight to keeping families together, a friendly approach to
his current foster parents keeps things much friendlier and
helps them move much faster.
[quote author=db105 link=topic=1324.msg14156#msg14156
date=1564530316]
How is Craig reacting to all of this? Is he overwhelmed, or
really happy...?[/quote]
Craig was obviously disappointed, but tried to be happy for his
brother. Then we told him we'd talked to his previous group
home, and they're willing to let him move here, if he wants.
He most definitely wants.
I can't really say how he feels, because he was pretty whipsawed
by emotions, and he was really struggling to control himself, so
Chance and I took off to give him some privacy. But yeah, he
was happy.
[/quote]
Precious. Love it. I am happy for him.
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