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#Post#: 12126--------------------------------------------------
20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Jack Date: March 20, 2019, 4:51 pm
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While I've been checking in almost every day, it's been a while
since I posted anywhere but BOTD. There is an ongoing situation
which I thought was important enough that I needed to mention
it. I've known about this since this Sunday just past
(3/17/19), and I mentioned it in chat Monday, so I thought I
should get it shared here.
Bridgette and PJ are pregnant.
I've known for a while that they were friends. They kept saying
they weren't really dating, but they were doing stuff one would
normally do on a date together. As far as I knew, neither of
them was interested in a relationship. Well, it turns out that
they were friends, but 'with benefits', as they say.
I believe Bridgette said she's expecting about 14 Oct.
Neither one of them is interested in considering an abortion for
various reasons. The 'm-word' has come up, but I'm not sure how
enthusiastic either of them is about it. They have both
discussed one of them keeping it, trying to keep it together, or
giving it up for adoption.
Now, let's be straight that the two of them do seem to be very
good friends; and that they have talked about marriage. That's
why they told me about this. My honest advice was that a
married couple HAS to be friends for things to really work, but
that friendship on it's own is not enough to make a marriage,
unless both people want that. The thing is, Bridgette seems to
not be interested in getting married because her relationship
with her boys dad went south pretty badly and the divorce sounds
pretty awful. With PJ, I think he wants to get married, but he
also wants a chance to be independent and on his own first.
My recommendation after the three of us had talked for a while
was that, if they're really considering getting married, see a
councilor first - decide if they're even compatible and if they
have a pretty legitimate chance of working as a couple. If that
can't be hashed out, trying it would just make things worse. If
that does sound like it might work, then they can decide if
that's what they want to do.
None of the boys know yet. PJ and Bridgette would like to have
an idea what they're going to do before they mention it. They
have their first session with a councilor next week, and they
plan on talking with him about how and what to tell the boys.
In the meantime, I have a six bedroom duplex (three on each side
- a master and two regular). It's currently unoccupied because
the last tenants on one side... Well, let's just say 'lost their
security deposit, insurance adjusters, lawsuit' and let you
imagine the rest. Without Tina to handle these details, things
lagged a bit, and I waited for the other side to be emptied.
Mr. Mintz's crew is handling the repairs, but they are working
on the outside right now (roof was damaged). I went and looked
at it today, and we can add a door or two which would make it
able to be used as one or two. I could let PJ and Bridgette
move in there, where they could live together while each having
their own room. I've got someone checking into the alterations
that will be required to see when it could be done, and I'm
probably going to suggest that to them this weekend, so they can
talk it over with their councilor.
#Post#: 12134--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: db105 Date: March 20, 2019, 10:09 pm
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Well, congratulations! I agree, though, that there's something
more needed for a marriage to be successful than just friendship
or even a child in common. Let's see how it goes.
#Post#: 12138--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: kalico Date: March 21, 2019, 9:10 am
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Congratulations
I agree you need more than friendship as I learned that the hard
way....I think you gave them very good advice and glad the are
working on it...
I hope counseling helps them and that it all works for the best
in whatever that outcome maybe..
Thanks for the update jack
#Post#: 12151--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Zyngaru Date: March 22, 2019, 10:28 am
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I really don't know what makes a successful marriage. I never
married. Never even came close to it. I have seen what I
thought were perfect marriages fall apart and seen what I
thought were horrible marriage last until death do us part. So
I haven't a clue.
I do wish PJ and Bridgette the best. I only advice not to rush
into anything and not to make decisions on what they think
others believe to be right. Do what is right for themselves and
the new little life that is coming into the world.
#Post#: 13047--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Jack Date: May 25, 2019, 5:29 pm
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I wanted to update this, since i mentioned in chat today.
PJ and Bridgette are moving in together, but it's into a duplex.
Each side has three bedrooms - a master and two regulars. As I
said earlier, it needed a lot of work, so we redid a few things,
so the two duplexes connect without having to go outside.
Yes, that means they are keeping the child (another boy, by the
way). They did tell the boys. There were, as you can imagine,
a lot of questions.
There are also some hard feelings.
With six bedrooms, each adult will have their own master
bedroom, one bedroom is going to be set up as a nursery, and
that's three bedrooms for five boys. Remember, the five of them
currently share two bedrooms in separate apartments. As a
reminder, Ryan Tucker is 14, Jake is 13, Kelly is 14, Dylan is
13, and Brennan is 11. There was a lot of.... spirited
discussion about who should get the room to themselves (one
suggestion was the two older boys each get their own room, and
the younger three share one). There were also some hurt
feelings, some strong words, and all five boys ended up with
sore bottoms. I think we ended up with Ryan Tucker and Jake
sharing a room, Kelly and Dylan sharing a room, and the two
smallest bedrooms are going to go to Brennan and the nursery.
It's not ideal, but it seems the best answer.
This is a bit further away than the apartments where they live
now, but not much further, and the boys will be able to ride
their bikes back and forth, except in extremely hot or bad
weather, and it's close enough picking them up and dropping them
off won't be a real problem anyway.
Marriage is still under discussion, and hasn't been settled
either way yet. Calling me 'popop' or grandpa has been floated,
but I'm not sure how serious they were about it (especially
since the Henderson boys new 'brothers' call me dad!).
#Post#: 13070--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: db105 Date: May 26, 2019, 4:20 pm
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Woah! A mass spanking. And in the end, the solo room went to the
youngest boy! Kind of unexpected.
Who did the spankings? PJ for Ryan and Jake and Bridgette for
the others?
#Post#: 13077--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Jack Date: May 27, 2019, 4:50 am
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[quote author=db105 link=topic=1195.msg13070#msg13070
date=1558905609]
Who did the spankings? PJ for Ryan and Jake and Bridgette for
the others?
[/quote]
I believe that PJ handled the spankings for everybody, though i
think it was more 'paddlings' than spankings, with each boy
standing outside the door, awaiting his turn, from youngest to
oldest.
#Post#: 13083--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: kalico Date: May 27, 2019, 1:06 pm
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Aww Pjs arm is gonna be getting quite the work out it seems as
this was just a sample to the beginning....lol
I’m happy they figured everything out for now anyway and I with
them all the luck and I hope everything works out for them
all...,
Hugs kal
#Post#: 13085--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Jack Date: May 27, 2019, 4:58 pm
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[quote author=kalico link=topic=1195.msg13083#msg13083
date=1558980401]
Aww Pjs arm is gonna be getting quite the work out it seems as
this was just a sample to the beginning....lol
[/quote]
I'm pretty sure this falls under the auspice of testing/pushing
the limits. On the other hand, remember that all four of the
older boys are at least early adolescent, so Bridgette was
getting less and less comfortable with using any type of CP for
her older two. PJ has been talking about using non-spanking
methods more with Ryan Tucker and Jake, so we'll see how it
goes.
I had all five boys here this weekend, and we talked about
things for a bit. They're not moving until next weekend (when
school's over), and I suggested that, if they think it's such a
problem, why not switch, so they're sharing rooms by age,
instead of with their brothers. Oh, and remember that Brennan
is a couple of years younger than everyone else, so not having
him constantly under foot is one thing upon which all the older
boys more or less agree.
#Post#: 13089--------------------------------------------------
Re: 20 March 2019 - With Benefits
By: Zyngaru Date: May 28, 2019, 11:54 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=1195.msg13085#msg13085
date=1558994330]
Oh, and remember that Brennan is a couple of years younger
than everyone else, so not having him constantly under foot is
one thing upon which all the older boys more or less agree.
[/quote]
Little brothers can be a lot of fun, but they can also be a
pest. So definite benefit to have little bro in another
bedroom. I would also suggest that the rule of thumb is, no
going into any other brothers bedroom unless invited.
Now one of the great benefits of having a little brother:
Sometimes a teenager wants to do something that is way beneath
his age bracket. He just wants to act like a little boy for
awhile. Having a little brother, gives a teenager, a way to put
it all off on the lil bro, and keep his teenager cred. and still
be able to act like a little kid.
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