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#Post#: 7286--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 15, 2018, 6:02 am
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Liam had his chores done yesterday by the time my meeting was
finished, including doing Zeke's laundry with his own. When I
finished checking his room, he handed me a suggested schedule
for last night.
They caught a 5pm movie and had popcorn, then stopped for
burgers on the way back. They hung out here for a couple of
hours, until a little after 10pm. There were five of them, and
two others had cars and took the other boys home, so Liam was
home way before curfew with no problem, and had a great night.
He came and let me know he was home for the night and his
friends were gone, and you could tell he was pleased with
himself.
#Post#: 7291--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Zyngaru Date: July 15, 2018, 8:16 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=10.msg7286#msg7286
date=1531652557]
He came and let me know he was home for the night and his
friends were gone, and you could tell he was pleased with
himself.
[/quote]
He just proved to himself that he can do it and still have a
good time. So he has a right to be proud of himself. Hopefully
you praised him for his effort as well.
#Post#: 7294--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 15, 2018, 8:28 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=10.msg7291#msg7291
date=1531660610]
Hopefully you praised him for his effort as well.
[/quote]
I'm not sure what you're asking if I praised.
One problem I have is that I find it hard to praise kids for
just doing what they were supposed to do. It's one thing to
tell them they've been doing a great job lately. Telling them -
'hey, you managed to behave this time' sounds to me both
condescending and like a participation trophy. Or maybe like
I'm shocked they couldn't do it.
What I did do was praise him for 'being well organized, sticking
to the plan, and getting everything done.' Once I was sure
they'd had a good time, I did point out that he's welcome to
bring his friends over here most of the time, so he can eat here
before a movie, or bring them over to swim after a movie, and
they can save time and trouble that way.
Of course, one thing I hadn't considered is that almost all his
friends are old enough to drive now, even if most of them are
still at the 'borrow mom or dad's car' stage. Still, that
allows them to meet here, which also saves him time.
#Post#: 7298--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Zyngaru Date: July 15, 2018, 8:48 am
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That's what I meant. I use wrong words often. Probably a
better word is encouraged.
You know some of my background, so encouraging kids to be better
than even they think they can be, is very important to me.
Accentuate the positive and deal with the negative quickly and
move on.
#Post#: 7300--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 15, 2018, 8:54 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=10.msg7298#msg7298
date=1531662497]
That's what I meant. I use wrong words often.
[/quote]
It's not so much that you used wrong words, so much as that,
when we communicate only through written words, a lot of
non-verbal cues are missed, so it's hard to be certain how one
means something.
In this case, it was more a vague antecedent, where I was simply
unsure where your question was aiming, so I wanted to clarify.
#Post#: 7341--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 17, 2018, 4:30 am
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Today is Liam's doctor's appointment in Dallas. He and I will
have to get an early start, but we'll stop for breakfast after
we get in town if traffic doesn't kill us.
I checked with Dr. Sammy, and Liam doesn't need any vaccinations
this year, so he's going to get all his physical stuff out of
the way. On the other hand, this office has a pretty strict
policy about supervising minors, and since they don't know us
like Sammy does, I'm going to have to be in the office with him.
Apparently 'at the doctors office' is another scenario that is
much more embarrassing than just changing clothes. He just
complained a little, so I don't think it's a big deal. He's
much more worried about how much blood they'll be drawing.
#Post#: 7342--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: db105 Date: July 17, 2018, 5:56 am
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[quote author=Jack link=topic=10.msg7341#msg7341
date=1531819825]
Apparently 'at the doctors office' is another scenario that is
much more embarrassing than just changing clothes.
[/quote]
Surely not as embarrassing as being bared for a spanking,
though. ;D
#Post#: 7347--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 17, 2018, 1:45 pm
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[quote author=db105 link=topic=10.msg7342#msg7342
date=1531824996]
[quote author=Jack link=topic=10.msg7341#msg7341
date=1531819825]
Apparently 'at the doctors office' is another scenario that is
much more embarrassing than just changing clothes.
[/quote]
Surely not as embarrassing as being bared for a spanking,
though. ;D
[/quote]
No, but, like many teens, he's worried about becoming erect
during the genital exam/hernia check. I didn't tell him that
that worry probably stops it from happening.
There are some of the blood tests that take a bit longer, but
basically Liam is a perfectly healthy young man, which is
really what I expected, but it's best to be sure - especially
since he's been feeling frustrated with himself and the behavior
seemed to pop up instead of building.
It's funny, because I had to do an interview explaining why I
thought he might be ADHD.
"I don't."
Then I had to explain the entire situation. I didn't mind too
much, and I was glad I did, because the therapist to whom I
spoke basically agreed with, after seeing the results of Liam's
physical and looking at the notes from Liam's interview.
At the end of all this, the therapist was talking to me and he
said, "I'm supposed to tell you that spanking's not a good way
to deal with ADHD and it's not good for older boys, but let's
face it - we're both Texans, we don't believe that, and Liam
says receiving corporal punishment's not nearly as bad as the
time you took his phone. Other than that, he says that upping
his visits with his therapist for a while is probably the best
thing to do, but that some behavioral therapy to help him
improve his skills in planning ahead and foreseeing results
certainly wont' hurt.
With that out of the way, Liam and I went to lunch. He's happy
to have his doctor's visit out of the way, and to know he's
healthy and not ADHD.
#Post#: 7351--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Zyngaru Date: July 17, 2018, 3:56 pm
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I'm with Liam. Glad it is behind him and he doesn't have ADHD.
Of course that means he doesn't have a fallback either. So he
better start planning and organizing his life better. ;D ;D ;D
If the doctor did a prostate check, which on a boy his age isn't
necessary, hernia yes, but prostate not so much, but if he had
then Liam could have popped one. ;D ;D ;D Even at my age,
when the doctor touches that special spot, Whoops! Maybe Liam
should NOT know about that spot. He might get playtime ideas.
;D ;D ;D
Honestly. I am happy for Liam that he checked out okay.
#Post#: 7352--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: July 17, 2018, 4:00 pm
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=10.msg7351#msg7351
date=1531861016]
I'm with Liam. Glad it is behind him and he doesn't have ADHD.
Of course that means he doesn't have a fallback either. So he
better start planning and organizing his life better. ;D ;D ;D
[/quote]
The trouble Liam is having is fairly normal for a lot of people.
He's getting older and has more freedom, but also more
responsibilities. And sometimes that more freedom can be pretty
hard to deal with, especially when you weren't taught basic
organizing and scheduling skills when you were younger. Liam
has really been on his best behavior for a while, but now that
he can drive and everything... Welll, it's understandable he's
having some problems, even if it's not really acceptable. He's
already shown some improvement, and I'm sure learning some
behavioral skills will help him more.
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