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#Post#: 73--------------------------------------------------
Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: September 14, 2017, 5:50 am
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A while back, I mentioned that Liam had been in some trouble.
I had considered writing it as a story, because I thought there
were some interesting elements in it.
At this point, I have several stories that I 'need' to be
working on for one reason or another, and getting our new forum
up and running is probably going to take a while, so I decided
it would be best to address this now, rather than waiting and
risk forgetting the details.
As a reminder, Liam is 16 now, but we had agreed when he moved
in that we'd wait until he'd finished school before he had the
chance to take driver's education. After his (adopted) father
passed, Liam went through a bad stage, got in some trouble, and
his grades fell. He was recovering from that when his mom
passed, and he barely passed his freshman year. Because he's
proven he can be an excellent student, we had him attend BCA,
repeating his freshman year, and under fairly strict discipline
aimed at a boy chronologically younger than him I'm not going
to say that he bloomed under it, because he really didn't get in
that much trouble, but I think knowing he had a firm structure
and strong support did do a lot for him.
He finished school with a high average in May, so the only
question about him taking driver's education was when. We did
manage to find a time that let him go to camp and join us on our
vacation, though summer was nearly over when he finished.
Since Liam attends BCA, he doesn't know a ton of public school
kids (my other freshman is Van, who also doesn't attend BHS -
the public high school). That's not to say he doesn't know some
kids outside BCA, but just a lot of them. He met some new kids
at driver's ed.
One of them he became good friends with, and he asked if the boy
- Glen - could come over some time. Of course I said yes.
For one reason or another, Glen wasn't able to come over. Then
one afternoon, Noah came home with Zeke, but Liam was missing.
Noah told me that Zeke said he'd gone with Glen and would be
home 'in a while'. I called Liam, but there was no answer - it
went straight to voice mail.
Maybe thirty minutes or so after Noah and Zeke arrived home,
Liam showed up with Glen.
I introduced myself, and the two went for a tour and then to the
pool (remember, this is mid to late August and wasn't as
terrible as some of our summers, but it was still pretty warm
(still is, for that matter)).
I let Johnny ride along with Liam, so he could drive Glen home.
When they returned, I took Liam to his room.
"I would like to know what happened, son, because, to my point
of view, you went someplace without permission, without telling
anybody, and you weren't answering your phone."
The basic story is that Glen's dad picked him up, and gave
permission for Glen to come over, but Glen wanted to change
clothes and get swim trunks, so they went to Glen's house before
coming over here. Of course, I had said Glen could come over.
It seems like he'd had his phone off for driver's ed, and just
hadn't turned it back on. It was actually still off when I
mentioned it.
Even while he was making the excuses, I could see him realize
how badly he'd screwed up, so instead of discussing it more, I
called him over to me, took off his shorts and boxers, and sent
him for the bath brush. When he returned, I put him over my
lap, and we began to discuss things.
"Just because I tell you Glen can come over, does that give you
permission to go to his house?"
"No, sir,"
SMACK
"IF you're supposed to wait for Noah to pick you up, what else
do you have permission to do?"
"Nothing."
Smack.
"Who's responsible for making sure that phone is on when it's
supposed to be?"
"I am."
SMACK
I had to make up a couple - basically repeating - but I managed
sixteen questions for my 16 year old. He was kicking and
squirming and yelping by the time the last one landed.
And then I went rapid fire.
I think I gave 20 more - 16 on his cheeks and four on the upper
legs, and he was howling before I finished and crying plenty
hard. Considering it was the bath brush, it was a very hard
spanking, and he took it that way.
When I let him up, I held him while he settled down, then I
stepped back.
"That wasn't the worst spanking I've given, but it was pretty
bad, wasn't it?"
Sniffing and coughing a bit, he managed to answer that 'yes,
sir, it was.'
"Do you know why?"
He said he did, but then couldn't answer, so I told him.
"It was a hard spanking, because you're asking to have free
access to a car and be able to drive around, but you just proved
I can't trust you to be where you're supposed to be, and do what
you're supposed to do, when I know exactly where and when you're
supposed to be. How do you think that effects my willingness to
let you drive?"
He looked ready to break into tears again.
"Relax, Liam. I know this was just a thoughtless mistake, and I
can even kind of understand why you didn't think you'd get in
trouble over it. The thing is, once you get your license, you
have to think about things like that, okay?"
He had teared up again, and was trying to control that, but he
did nod, then hug me while he apologized.
School started the 28th, and this happened on a Thursday, so it
was probably the 17th or maybe the 10th, so about a month ago
now. After nearly 3 weeks of school, he's been staying on top
of things and hasn't been in any more real trouble, except a
couple of chore strikes, while readjusting to the school
schedule. And that includes getting his brothers to school and
back, so I guess I made a good impression on him.
#Post#: 75--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: db105 Date: September 14, 2017, 7:01 am
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That seemed pretty strict to me, considering that it was
thoughtlessness rather than deliberate disobedience. Still, I
guess Liam is familiar with the rules and expectations and the
likely punishments.
Do you think that you would be less strict about that kind of
thing if the number of kids in the family weren't so high?
(Since a high number of kids makes it necessary to have more
discipline about asking before leaving, or you risk having to be
running after kids and looking for them all the time.)
#Post#: 77--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: kalico Date: September 14, 2017, 10:00 am
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Aw poor Liam.....not the first of your kiddos to have gone
through this I remember some others and I totally understand
your reaction.. I'm glad it seemed to do the job.
Hugs kal
#Post#: 79--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Zyngaru Date: September 14, 2017, 10:15 am
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When I read the punishment, I thought it was on the strict and
hard side. But then I remember my worst ever whipping, and it
was for a similar misadventure. I went someplace after a Cub
meeting with the guys. I thought it was part of the Cub
meeting. It wasn't. Dad came looking for me and when he found
me, he wore my backside out for worrying my mom, by not being
home when she expected me, and not being where I was supposed to
be. That was back before cell phones. Heck we didn't even have
a dial phone at home so no way to call home.
So I can empathize with Liam. I probably would not have spanked
him because of my boyhood experience. But then, I never was
anyplace I wasn't supposed to be at after that whipping and I
made sure mom always knew where I was. So I guess dad did the
right thing. If that works for Liam the same way, then I am
guessing I am wrong and Jack is right, just like my dad was,
even if I didn't think so at the time.
#Post#: 81--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: db105 Date: September 14, 2017, 11:26 am
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[quote author=Zyngaru link=topic=10.msg79#msg79 date=1505402137]
If that works for Liam the same way, then I am guessing I am
wrong and Jack is right, just like my dad was, even if I didn't
think so at the time.
[/quote]
In Liam's case he didn't seem to feel the punishment was unfair,
judging from Jack's description, even though obviously he
didn't like it. I think it depends on how clear the rules and
expectations are.
#Post#: 84--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: September 14, 2017, 1:32 pm
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[quote author=db105 link=topic=10.msg75#msg75 date=1505390518]Do
you think that you would be less strict about that kind of thing
if the number of kids in the family weren't so high?
[/quote]
DB, I honestly think I wouldn't have been so strict with most of
my kids for this right now. The difference, as I stressed
strongly to Liam, is that it was less than a week before he was
scheduled to take is driver's test.
Yes, I believe that this was pure thoughtlessness, and not him
deliberately flaunting but he was about to get a car. I wanted
to make sure he understood that this type of thoughtless
behavior wouldn't be tolerated. In this case, there was no bad
result (which is why I waited until his friend went home), but
he's now in charge of Zeke and the two of them getting Van,
Colt, Emmet, Kline, Glen, Paden, and the Guthrey boys over here.
This happening at the time it did was a lot of why I reacted
like I did in this case.
Now, if Liam was an only child.... Maybe. I would probably have
punished him, but maybe not this hard.
#Post#: 86--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: David M. Katz Date: September 14, 2017, 2:20 pm
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Has Liam taken his driver's test?
#Post#: 92--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Jack Date: September 14, 2017, 5:07 pm
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[quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=10.msg86#msg86
date=1505416841]
Has Liam taken his driver's test?
[/quote]
Yes, he actually took it... the 22nd I thikn. He had it before
school started anyway. Zeke was at the same time.
#Post#: 96--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Leti Date: September 14, 2017, 7:04 pm
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I would like to know Liam's and Zeke's reactions when they saw
their cars! Did you have some special dinner or thing before
giving them the keys?
;D?
Leti
#Post#: 4110--------------------------------------------------
Re: Liam Marsh Wells
By: Leti Date: March 1, 2018, 8:39 am
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[move]Happy 17th Birthday Liam [/move]
[center]I know you will celebrate Liam's birthday this weekend,
but I hope he gets to celebrate a little today!
Hugs Jack!
Leti [/center]
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