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#Post#: 58--------------------------------------------------
Relationship foundamental
By: Intervention Date: July 27, 2015, 4:40 pm
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Statistics say you are the average of the five people you spend
the most time with. These people are probably a mixture of your
spouse, siblings, classmates or coworkers. Relationships are a
powerful influence in our life, and they have a big impact on
whether we are fruitful Christians – or not. We build “God and
good relationships” on the foundation of love. As the Word of
God says in 1 John 3:14, “We know that we have passed from death
to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love
remains in death.”
Fruitfulness in relationships is having relationships with
individuals who draw us closer to being the people God intended
us to be. These individuals, though they are not perfect, are
good enough in their own character that the net effect of their
presence in our lives is positive. They are accepting, honest,
and present… and help us bear good fruit in our lives. Good
people will produce good fruit in your life. Bad people will
produce bad fruit.
Relationships with the right people can do so much for you in
life. There are people God has ordained to be your friend, to
encourage you, to be crucial connections who introduce you to
your future spouse, or who will introduce you to key people who
can change your lives. God has all of these relationships for
you! Relationships are the currency of the kingdom and the
network of life. Can we be trusted with them? Will we treat them
as God would have us treat them, with unconditional love? Will
we be encouragers, and help bring others to their full potential
in Christ?
Relationships are vital to the development of the whole person.
Psychologically, “self-concept” is largely developed by how the
most important person in my life views me. If that person is not
healthy, safe and secure in themselves, then it can create a
false identity in my life. Many of us have been walking around
with a false identity given by broken caretakers who were blind
to the potential in us growing up. We must become secure in our
identity in Christ so that we don’t perpetuate the cycle of low
self-image.
There are four characteristics fundamental to a healthy, secure
relationship that we can emulate and put into practice in our
relationships to experienced healthy, thriving relationships
with people who are continually growing in Christ:
Be present. Be there for people. We seek proximity and closeness
to people who are our caregivers, especially in times of
trouble. You might not be someone’s caregiver, but God may have
assigned you to someone – and you never know what they are going
through. Be present; be available to people to be close to in
their time of need. This is the major thing Jesus did – He went
to people at their point of need.
Be a “safe” person. When someone comes to you with an issue and
confides to you, do you share it with others, or do you
“protect” that person by keeping their problems in prayer before
God? Do you think less of them and feel that they’ll always be
that way? A “caregiver” provides a safe haven, a felt sense of
security. There will be times when we must disclose what people
have told us, but we should never judge people or betray
people’s confidences.
Jesus was a “safe” person to the woman caught in the act of
adultery. She was dragged naked before the entire town and
thrown on the ground before Jesus. Jesus was a safe person to
her by reminding the entire Pharisee council of their own sins.
He asked her where her accusers were and asked if anyone had
accused her, to which she replied, “No one, Lord.” He told her
privately to go and sin no more. He did not condemn her
publicly, and did not join in with her accusers making a huge
public spectacle, but reminded the self-righteous ones accusing
her that they were no better than her. Jesus did not condone her
sin, but when he told her to sin no more, He made sure they were
alone and that she knew He had protected her from total
degradation.
Keep Christ as the foundation. A caregiver offers us a secure
base from which to explore the world. Our “secure base” is the
security of Jesus Christ. Always view the world from the vantage
point that Christ is on the throne and that Jesus is on your
side. Help others keep Christ as their foundation by keeping
this positional kingdom reality intact in their minds. We all
need the encouragement of a strong believer when the winds of
life are blowing hard! Keep Jesus as the cornerstone (Eph 2:20).
Don’t be an abandoner. There will always be times when it is
appropriate to withdraw from or even sever a relationship. But
the threat of separation induces fear and anxiety in even
healthy people. Make sure people know that you are there for
them. Never use the threat of abandonment as a manipulation
tactic. If someone is using this demonic tactic on you, it’s
very bad fruit on the part of that person, and its time to
withdraw from them or seriously consider severing the
relationship (not counting marriages, which is another topic
entirely).
I said to you earlier that fruitfulness in relationships is
having relationships with individuals who draw us closer to
being the people God intended us to be. By keeping the four
characteristics in mind above, we can be very fruitful in our
God-ordained relationships.
The relationships in our lives, though they are not perfect,
should be good enough in their own character that the net effect
of their presence in our lives is positive. The people we have
relationships with should be accepting, honest, and present… and
influence us to bear good fruit. By being present, being a
“safe” person to others in need, by keeping Christ as the
foundation or “vantage point”, and by sticking by people, we are
practicing powerful Christlike methods of bringing fruitfulness
and vitality into our relationships.
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