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#Post#: 51--------------------------------------------------
Evaluating Your Spiritual Relationship Before Marriage by bimbo
odukoya
By: Intervention Date: July 27, 2015, 4:09 pm
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No other human relationship will play a more important role in
shaping your life than your relationship with your spouse. And
yet many premarried couples make the crucial decisions about
marriage when their minds are clouded with such powerful
emotions that they find it difficult to think straight. They are
so caught up in the whirlwind of romance that they fail to work
out some crucial issues before they commit their lives to each
other.
For a Christian, the most important of these issues is spiritual
compatibility. Since marriage is a spiritual relationship, your
spiritual compatibility will influence the quality of your
relationship more than any other factor. There are two topics to
consider here:
1. Are both of you Genuine Born-Again Christians?
In 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Paul writes, "Do not be bound together
with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and
lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what
harmony has Christ with Belial [Satan], or what has a believer
in common with an unbeliever?"
This passage warns that a Christian should not enter a
partnership with an unbeliever because it will be a relationship
built on opposing values and goals. Building relationships on
Christian values, trust, and love is essential in the Christian
life, especially in the most intimate of all human
relationships—marriage. God created marriage, and its greatest
fulfillment and enjoyment can only be found when both husband
and wife have a growing relationship with Him.
When Christians marry nonbelievers, they usually experience a
growing frustration after marriage:
They are unable to discuss the most precious, intimate part of
their lives with their spouses.
They have conflicting goals and expectations.
They clash over the values they teach their children.
They have differing circles of friends.
They have difficulty communicating and resolving conflict.
If you are considering marriage and one of you has received
Christ as Lord and Savior but the other has not, we strongly
recommend that you either put your relationship on hold or end
it altogether. If your future spouse is unwilling to repent and
change now, don't expect it to happen after you marry.
Second, if neither of you has received Christ, we recommend that
you put off any wedding plans so you can focus on learning more
about a relationship with Him. Give yourselves time to talk with
Christian friends, or your pastor, and come to a solid decision
about where you stand with God.
2. Do you both share the same commitment to spiritual growth and
to serving God?
Many Christians know they should not marry a nonbeliever.
Unfortunately, they go no further in evaluating their spiritual
compatibility.
1 John 2:15 tells us, "Do not love the world, nor the things in
the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is
not in him." You may both have received Christ, but if one of
you is more focused on loving the world rather than loving God,
you will experience many of the same conflicts as a believer and
nonbeliever. Your goals and values will differ. Your lives will
head in different directions.
If you are both growing in Christ, however, you will experience
a special joy and teamwork in your marriage. Running coaches
usually encourage their long-distance runners to train in groups
rather than as individuals. In a group, runners encourage and
push each other to ignore their weariness and pain. In fact, a
runner may run faster in a group than he would by himself, yet
feel less fatigued. In the same way, two people who share the
same commitment to God can encourage and help each other to keep
their eyes on Christ as they "run with endurance."
In Amos 3:3, God asked the children of Isreal "Can two walk
together, except they be agreed?" We believe you know that the
answer is NO.
To evaluate this area of your spiritual compatibility, begin by
asking yourself questions such as:
Do both of us share the same desire to know and please God?
Do I have any sense that one of us is putting on a facade of
spiritual commitment?
Do our actions back up our words?
Do we both consistently display a desire to obey God in all
things?
What priority does each of us place on ministering to other
people?
Are we both willing to follow God's direction?
If you cannot shake a suspicion that you and your future spouse
are on different wavelengths in your spiritual compatibility, we
strongly advise you, again, to postpone any wedding plans. If
not, you will likely experience a distressing level of isolation
in your marriage.
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