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       #Post#: 2981--------------------------------------------------
       Dear Cat
   DIR By: owlice
       Date: August 19, 2021, 12:51 pm
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       Dear Little Cat,
       The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise!
       You don't need to check!
       Pettings,
       The woman who feeds you
       #Post#: 2985--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: owlice
       Date: August 19, 2021, 12:53 pm
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       Dear Little Cat,
       Your butt does not belong in my face when I sleep. Or really,
       ever.
       We've talked about this in the past; please make it so that we
       need never talk of it again.
       Thank you.
       Love,
       Your food source
       #Post#: 3003--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: oreally
       Date: August 19, 2021, 1:01 pm
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       Dear elderly cat who does not appreciate me nearly as much as
       she oughta (for example, I just typed "doe snot" but she would
       have never found it funny),
       Since you don't groom yourself any more, and I have to do it, a
       loud cat growl and vicious bite with your remaining teeth is not
       the proper response.
       I know, your body your choice but you simply don't understand
       the consequences. But I still love you.
       #Post#: 3080--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: Queenie
       Date: August 19, 2021, 2:05 pm
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       Dear Cat,
       Your dish is empty.  Just like the last time you checked.  You
       get fed at the exact same time every day and you know this.
       Complaining will not fix it.
       Love,
       The Chicken Lady
       #Post#: 3442--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: Aardtacha
       Date: August 19, 2021, 10:44 pm
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       Dear little cat:
       I swear I don't magically transform into a trampoline at 2 AM,
       ever.  Please stop jumping on me then.
       #Post#: 3451--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: HeddyL2627
       Date: August 19, 2021, 11:21 pm
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       Dear glassbowl orange cat(s),
       I won't now — and have never — fed you at 3 AM. Nor has your
       normal pin cushion.
       QUIT FUCKING ASKING.
       Signed,
       Your temporary person
       #Post#: 3594--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: oreally
       Date: August 20, 2021, 10:17 am
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       My dear Bells,
       This could be why baby granddaughter started calling you Bella
       the Ball so many years ago.
       Which, I might add, was pretty decent punmanship for a 10 year
       old.
       I know, gurl, you've lost a few lately -- so have I -- just not
       enough.
       Signed,
       Your loving groomer.
       #Post#: 3603--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: Queenie
       Date: August 20, 2021, 10:20 am
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       Dear Cat,
       I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to
       play.
       I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to
       be outraged.  I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending
       she started it.
       #Post#: 3612--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: oreally
       Date: August 20, 2021, 10:25 am
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       --- Quote from: Queenie link ---
       >
       > Dear Cat,
       >
       > I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to
       play.
       >
       > I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to
       be outraged.  I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending
       she started it.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       GAWD do I know this scenario.
       #Post#: 5514--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dear Cat
   DIR By: CatDancing
       Date: August 23, 2021, 9:54 am
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       Dear Cat,
       Yes, I love you.  Yes, I'm glad you're here.  But not at 5 a.m.
       no matter how happy you are about it.
       Sincerely,
       Your Person
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