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#Post#: 2981--------------------------------------------------
Dear Cat
By: owlice Date: August 19, 2021, 12:51 pm
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Dear Little Cat,
The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise!
You don't need to check!
Pettings,
The woman who feeds you
#Post#: 2985--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: owlice Date: August 19, 2021, 12:53 pm
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Dear Little Cat,
Your butt does not belong in my face when I sleep. Or really,
ever.
We've talked about this in the past; please make it so that we
need never talk of it again.
Thank you.
Love,
Your food source
#Post#: 3003--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: oreally Date: August 19, 2021, 1:01 pm
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Dear elderly cat who does not appreciate me nearly as much as
she oughta (for example, I just typed "doe snot" but she would
have never found it funny),
Since you don't groom yourself any more, and I have to do it, a
loud cat growl and vicious bite with your remaining teeth is not
the proper response.
I know, your body your choice but you simply don't understand
the consequences. But I still love you.
#Post#: 3080--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: Queenie Date: August 19, 2021, 2:05 pm
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Dear Cat,
Your dish is empty. Just like the last time you checked. You
get fed at the exact same time every day and you know this.
Complaining will not fix it.
Love,
The Chicken Lady
#Post#: 3442--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: Aardtacha Date: August 19, 2021, 10:44 pm
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Dear little cat:
I swear I don't magically transform into a trampoline at 2 AM,
ever. Please stop jumping on me then.
#Post#: 3451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: HeddyL2627 Date: August 19, 2021, 11:21 pm
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Dear glassbowl orange cat(s),
I won't now — and have never — fed you at 3 AM. Nor has your
normal pin cushion.
QUIT FUCKING ASKING.
Signed,
Your temporary person
#Post#: 3594--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: oreally Date: August 20, 2021, 10:17 am
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My dear Bells,
This could be why baby granddaughter started calling you Bella
the Ball so many years ago.
Which, I might add, was pretty decent punmanship for a 10 year
old.
I know, gurl, you've lost a few lately -- so have I -- just not
enough.
Signed,
Your loving groomer.
#Post#: 3603--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: Queenie Date: August 20, 2021, 10:20 am
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Dear Cat,
I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to
play.
I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to
be outraged. I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending
she started it.
#Post#: 3612--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: oreally Date: August 20, 2021, 10:25 am
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=87.msg3603#msg3603
date=1629472847]
Dear Cat,
I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to
play.
I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to
be outraged. I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending
she started it.
[/quote]
GAWD do I know this scenario.
#Post#: 5514--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Cat
By: CatDancing Date: August 23, 2021, 9:54 am
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Dear Cat,
Yes, I love you. Yes, I'm glad you're here. But not at 5 a.m.
no matter how happy you are about it.
Sincerely,
Your Person
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