DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Hax Community
HTML https://haxnuts.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Customizing Our Forum
*****************************************************
#Post#: 51971--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: animaniactoo
Date: December 14, 2021, 4:52 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LabPartner link ---
>
> [quote author=Cairn terrier link=topic=609.msg51954#msg51954
date=1639520406]
> I can support a policy of civility.
> Not that we have to refer to each other as “the honorable
poster from the great state of Montana”, but that you can’t call
another member, or refer to them, using a derogatory term.
(Except maybe in the collective sense. I’m still thinking that
through.)
>
> But I’m against the complete banning of any word, even those I
find very offensive.
> That’s just a slippery slope to banning whole books of them,
and then the thoughts behind them.
>
--- End Quote ---
We've been fairly civil, I think. It's one of the reasons I live
it here so much. On occasion, when incivility has crept in,
people have reported it (not always the direct victim, either),
and your friendly neighborhood moderators have handled it.
I agree words shouldn't be banned. I also think that there are
some words people should never choose to use.
[/quote]
I know what you meant to write... but your freudian slip is
showing, my friend, and I snork-laughed at this.
#Post#: 51977--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: common_tater
Date: December 14, 2021, 4:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote ---
>
> On the cultural ones, I think it often depends on who is
saying it and to whom. If you're of a certain culture and
speaking to same, it's not the same thing as someone who isn't
saying the same word.
>
> For instance, "redneck" and "trailer trash" are no big deal in
my neck of the woods. Both are understood to convey more about
actions & attitudes, and they aren't limited to wealth. A person
in a McMansion with an Ivy School degree can be trailer trash; a
person who lives in a trailer and uses food stamps might be,
might not, not enough info to tell.
>
> I don't consider myself a redneck but I have my moments. If a
local called me one, I'd know what they meant. I might not like
it, but only because I'd know I'd done something tacky and
embarrassed myself. If someone else called me one, it'd be
different because it would mean something different.
>
--- End Quote ---
Midwesterner here.
I'm not fond of "trailer trash" as it seems classist to me - and
it's often directed at lower-income women. On the other hand, I
use "redneck" all the time to refer to my suburban and exurban
neighbors; it's shorthand here for blue-collar red-voters. Even
if they aren't actually blue-collar workers, which most of them
aren't, they just have a "football, beer, guns and FleetFarm"
vibe.
I have to think on this. That might be more classist than I
realized.
#Post#: 51978--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: muskrat
Date: December 14, 2021, 4:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: animaniactoo link ---
>
> The terms I find the most offensive are the ones that are
derogatory about someone based on something they are born with
or as, and can't change and should not have to in order to be
awarded the basic respect of being considered a human being. For
me, that generally also includes class background.
>
> It is sometimes an issue between my husband and myself, given
that I grew up in a very different environment than he did, and
he will cheerfully call his cousin (and sometimes himself but
not so much anymore) a redneck.
>
> Insults - intended AS insults - based on the type of work you
do? Similar.
>
> Outside of that it takes a high level of
vulgarity/gendering/classicism/etc. to move the needle for me,
and the C word hits that needle. Bitch doesn't - and maybe some
of that is about being inured to it, but maybe some of it is
about having a specific concept in my head of what it means to
be a bitch. Or behave like a bitch.
>
> Generally I tend to sway away from calling someone "a"
something, rather than saying that they are "acting like a" -
it's an important distinction for me, that I am labelling the
behavior rather than the person, but early on here I used Karen
as part of that and was called out on it and it was pointed out
to me that there is only one select narrow group of people that
the term is leveled at, and I can just describe the behavior
rather than using the term.
>
> But - when my husband or sisters call me a bitch in relative
fondness that doesn't bother me at all, and likely, I HAVE just
been a bitch.
>
> But I don't have a similar evaluation in my head for what it
means to be a c---, and if one of them called me that, we'd be
at war.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think that's where I land: what's the intent behind the term.
Along your last point: in my experience, I've never heard/seen
the c-word in a playful, joking sense. It's always been
directed at someone/group as a vulgar, hateful insult.
Granted, today's implied use of the word was part of an image
intended as a joke. (A joke I didnt even get until someone else
explained it.) But even after I got the joke, I wasnt offended
to the degree I wouldve been if I'd read someone here actually
calling that politician the c-word.
#Post#: 51983--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: common_tater
Date: December 14, 2021, 5:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
As for the word that started this all, there's only ever been
one person at whom I've directed this slur, and that's a local
politician.
Interestingly enough, the Native American equivalent, which
survives as a geographical name (notably some rivers and
valleys) and in bad old 50's westerns, bothers me even more. I
try to educate people that it isn't just the "female equivalent
of a brave" that my mom's generation thought it was. It's a
genuine slur in the exact same way the C word is and it means
the exact same thing.
#Post#: 51989--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: Gustav P
Date: December 14, 2021, 5:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I guess if we are looking to balance things I should throw my
hat in the ring. Personally the N-word is the only one I find
completely unacceptable at all times. I don't personally get
upset with other words unless they are used directly to
denigrate someone for who or what they are.
There's plenty of words I don't personally use but growing up in
the 80s many common terms from then are considered terribly
offensive now. That's fine, I don't use those words because they
upset some people. But I don't really care if those around me
use them unless the goal is to harm someone that isn't AT&T or
Congressional Republicans.
I don't buy into the anti-racist stuff so "in general be a
decent person" is my typical line for whether someone is out of
hand.
If no one agrees with me that is fine, just wanted to get a
"Don't much give a hoot about what words people use" vote in
here.
#Post#: 51997--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: northbayteky
Date: December 14, 2021, 6:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: common_tater link ---
>
> As for the word that started this all, there's only ever been
one person at whom I've directed this slur, and that's a local
politician.
> ...
>
--- End Quote ---
I only used it once, and I didn't say it, I retweeted a picture
of it.
HTML https://twitter.com/NorthBayTeky/status/951685710372790272
#Post#: 51999--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: NoLongerAubergine
Date: December 14, 2021, 6:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: offtopicalways link ---
>
>
> Do you remember the Elayne Boosler routine, where she couldn't
understand why "go fuck yourself" was used as a curse, because
it was such a good thing? "Go audit yourself" was her
alternative.
>
--- End Quote ---
As a former auditor, I'm offended. /s
#Post#: 52003--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: Thetis099
Date: December 14, 2021, 6:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Cairn terrier link ---
>
> I can support a policy of civility.
> Not that we have to refer to each other as “the honorable
poster from the great state of Montana”, but that you can’t call
another member, or refer to them, using a derogatory term.
(Except maybe in the collective sense. I’m still thinking that
through.)
>
> But I’m against the complete banning of any word, even those I
find very offensive.
> That’s just a slippery slope to banning whole books of them,
and then the thoughts behind them.
>
--- End Quote ---
Indeed. I would be rather be offended by what I choose to read
than ban words. We have rules about what is and is not allowed.
Those rules are about the intent behind the words, no? We have
the ability to ignore what we don't want to read. The rules
already cover this pretty well already, right?
I missed the post but it is clear which word you guys are
talking about. That word is one I would like to see the power
taken away from (we would have to use it to do that I think) but
nobody, and I mean nobody, agrees with me. Why is it so
nuclear? Why is it so much worse than other derogatory words?
I have been hurt much worse by much milder words because of the
intent behind the milder words. Specifically because I know how
nuclear this word is I have no desire to use it because I don't
want to offend anyone, but I don't think we should ban words.
#Post#: 52023--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: guest33
Date: December 14, 2021, 7:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Thetis099 link ---
>
> [quote author=Cairn terrier link=topic=609.msg51954#msg51954
date=1639520406]
> I can support a policy of civility.
> Not that we have to refer to each other as “the honorable
poster from the great state of Montana”, but that you can’t call
another member, or refer to them, using a derogatory term.
(Except maybe in the collective sense. I’m still thinking that
through.)
>
> But I’m against the complete banning of any word, even those I
find very offensive.
> That’s just a slippery slope to banning whole books of them,
and then the thoughts behind them.
>
--- End Quote ---
Indeed. I would be rather be offended by what I choose to read
than ban words. We have rules about what is and is not allowed.
Those rules are about the intent behind the words, no? We have
the ability to ignore what we don't want to read. The rules
already cover this pretty well already, right?
I missed the post but it is clear which word you guys are
talking about. That word is one I would like to see the power
taken away from (we would have to use it to do that I think) but
nobody, and I mean nobody, agrees with me. Why is it so
nuclear? Why is it so much worse than other derogatory words?
I have been hurt much worse by much milder words because of the
intent behind the milder words. Specifically because I know how
nuclear this word is I have no desire to use it because I don't
want to offend anyone, but I don't think we should ban words.
[/quote]
Why does the shit hit the fan when I’m traveling? Oh well
So yes I use that word, mostly in my head. Rarely it comes out
of my mouth, but when it does, it is directed at a man. Men sure
don’t like being called that, which is my point of using it.
I don’t understand why gendered insults are bad against women,
but ok against men. So itch is bad but dick is acceptable.
Sounds like BS to me.
Now personally, it isn’t the words per se that bother me, it is
the expression at times.
For example, when two well known, popular posters in the pre
times used sloppy seconds to refer to a woman/girl they did not
like, and in the second case to refer to a child…..
Not a blip, not a beep, nada in the first case. In the second
case very gentle pushback by one or two people.
So I guess, if you have a problem with the c word, but don’t
give a flying fart about sloppy seconds being used as an insult
- well then……
#Post#: 52027--------------------------------------------------
Re: Offensive words - and which ones are TOO offensive
DIR By: TwoASAPsAgo
Date: December 14, 2021, 8:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: MayaMia link ---
>
> [quote author=Thetis099 link=topic=609.msg52003#msg52003
date=1639527884]
> [quote author=Cairn terrier link=topic=609.msg51954#msg51954
date=1639520406]
> I can support a policy of civility.
> Not that we have to refer to each other as “the honorable
poster from the great state of Montana”, but that you can’t call
another member, or refer to them, using a derogatory term.
(Except maybe in the collective sense. I’m still thinking that
through.)
>
> But I’m against the complete banning of any word, even those I
find very offensive.
> That’s just a slippery slope to banning whole books of them,
and then the thoughts behind them.
>
--- End Quote ---
Indeed. I would be rather be offended by what I choose to read
than ban words. We have rules about what is and is not allowed.
Those rules are about the intent behind the words, no? We have
the ability to ignore what we don't want to read. The rules
already cover this pretty well already, right?
I missed the post but it is clear which word you guys are
talking about. That word is one I would like to see the power
taken away from (we would have to use it to do that I think) but
nobody, and I mean nobody, agrees with me. Why is it so
nuclear? Why is it so much worse than other derogatory words?
I have been hurt much worse by much milder words because of the
intent behind the milder words. Specifically because I know how
nuclear this word is I have no desire to use it because I don't
want to offend anyone, but I don't think we should ban words.
[/quote]
Why does the shit hit the fan when I’m traveling? Oh well
So yes I use that word, mostly in my head. Rarely it comes out
of my mouth, but when it does, it is directed at a man. Men sure
don’t like being called that, which is my point of using it.
I don’t understand why gendered insults are bad against women,
but ok against men. So itch is bad but dick is acceptable.
Sounds like BS to me.
Now personally, it isn’t the words per se that bother me, it is
the expression at times.
For example, when two well known, popular posters in the pre
times used sloppy seconds to refer to a woman/girl they did not
like, and in the second case to refer to a child…..
Not a blip, not a beep, nada in the first case. In the second
case very gentle pushback by one or two people.
So I guess, if you have a problem with the c word, but don’t
give a flying fart about sloppy seconds being used as an insult
- well then……
[/quote]
We don't have to have the same triggers. And, yes, I do have
serious hatred for the c word, even so-called attempts to
"reclaim" it. I pretty much don't care what someone's intent is
behind using it.
And, no, I don't need to feel exactly the same way about every
other gross, sexist expression out there.
*****************************************************
Page 3 of 6
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page