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       #Post#: 1022--------------------------------------------------
       How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: LesserGoddess Date: August 16, 2021, 2:19 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       So, my daughter took the SAT in June? (or May? time blurs) and
       did pretty well. She didn't do a lot of prep and I think she
       could get a higher score on the math section. She wants to major
       in a science so it seems like a good idea to get her math score
       up.
       She refuses. She feels the score is "good enough" and she got a
       perfect on the English section.
       Mind you, this is a child that is so quiet in class that it's
       unlikely she'll be able to get two references, and her grades
       were down last year while they were online.
       She has a 3.9 grade average but in Virginia going to certain
       schools is highly competitive to say the least.
       Anyone got any ideas on things I can say to persuade her?
       #Post#: 1032--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: Queenie Date: August 16, 2021, 2:25 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I'm afraid that I have never had any success getting a teen to
       do anything I wanted them to do that they didn't want to do.  I
       mean, except for stuff I could in fact make them do.  But my
       kids, especially Oldest, tended to stonewall hard any time I
       tried to nudge them in any direction.
       My suggestion would be to get someone else to suggest it.  A
       guidance counselor, or if a friend has a mom whose opinion is
       held in high regard, or a favorite teacher or get someone to
       link to a website that suggests it or a website of a desired
       school that suggests it.
       FWIW I have a low level career in science.  My GRE scores were
       off the charts in the verbal section, not off the charts in
       quantitative, and the only subject test available to me at the
       time was biology and I killed it, but UCLA did not come pounding
       down my door to invite me into their PhD program.  Test scores
       are very nice to have if you can get them.
       Have you spoken with her guidance counselor?
       #Post#: 1035--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: iamnotarobot Date: August 16, 2021, 2:27 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Maybe a dumb question, it's been a long time since the SATs for
       me and my stepkids didn't take them. If she retakes does she
       have to worry about possibly not scoring perfectly on the
       english section this time? Can you retake just part?
       I was a science major, worked as a researcher before private
       industry, and given the chance again I would have made sure my
       'good enough' math was much, much more solid before university
       classes so I agree with what you're saying
       #Post#: 1044--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: animaniactoo Date: August 16, 2021, 2:35 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Is there a college counselor at her school? That's who I would
       tap for info about this for BOTH of you. That person is best
       positioned to know whether it's really "good enough" or "good
       enough" for the lower range of schools she's thinking about but
       maybe not the one she really wants to go to. Does it make a
       difference in potential scholarship money?
       These are the questions you want to have some solid answers to
       as a question of WHY she should take it again, rather than your
       feeling that she can do better and it might be useful.
       How does she do with living with her decisions/adapting when she
       finds she's gotten something wrong in general?
       If it turns out that she's right about her view as far as the
       college counselor is concerned, are you going to be able to
       accept that and let her make this decision as part of letting go
       and letting her make the important decisions about her own
       life/choices?
       If it turns out that she's wrong... and won't be convinced to
       try... personally, I would probably let it go and start doing
       some research now on what her backup plan might be just so that
       I'm available to give advice if she's floundering. N.B.: Usually
       this means that I say "Why don't you try checking out info on
       XYZ?" secure in the knowledge that XYZ is a legitimate thing
       that she will be able to find info about on her own if she does
       a basic Google search.
       #Post#: 1048--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: Cairn terrier Date: August 16, 2021, 2:38 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My son just turned 19, so I’m still dealing with similar things.
       It gets really hard when they’re old enough not to do what you
       know they should.
       I guess I’d wonder if she’s worried about doing worse the second
       time, and if that would be a problem if she does?  Are both
       scores reported to colleges, or only the highest?  If you think
       it’s really going to be helpful, then I’d go with bribery.
       Something she really wants in exchange for a better score.  If
       you’d rather, think of it as an incentive to align your goals.
       #Post#: 1080--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: Thetis099 Date: August 16, 2021, 3:07 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I don't know how to motivate a teen.  Not in my wheelhouse.
       But, maybe this will help?
       I did not take the SAT in high school even though I was a good
       student.  I took my SAT at age 28, started college at 29 (in the
       early 2000s), graduated in three years, then continued on to
       graduate school for a Master's after that.  Both of my degrees
       are STEM.  I also scored perfectly on the verbal portion of the
       SAT but only slight above average on the math.  I did not take
       it again.  I didn't have a super meaty application as an
       undergraduate either and I had no problem getting in to the
       state school of my choice.  It was competitive enough.  I knew
       people who had been wait listed for my school.
       Maybe her score is good enough?
       #Post#: 1084--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: LesserGoddess Date: August 16, 2021, 3:10 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Queenie link=topic=54.msg1032#msg1032
       date=1629141943]
       I'm afraid that I have never had any success getting a teen to
       do anything I wanted them to do that they didn't want to do.  I
       mean, except for stuff I could in fact make them do.  But my
       kids, especially Oldest, tended to stonewall hard any time I
       tried to nudge them in any direction.
       My suggestion would be to get someone else to suggest it.  A
       guidance counselor, or if a friend has a mom whose opinion is
       held in high regard, or a favorite teacher or get someone to
       link to a website that suggests it or a website of a desired
       school that suggests it.
       FWIW I have a low level career in science.  My GRE scores were
       off the charts in the verbal section, not off the charts in
       quantitative, and the only subject test available to me at the
       time was biology and I killed it, but UCLA did not come pounding
       down my door to invite me into their PhD program.  Test scores
       are very nice to have if you can get them.
       Have you spoken with her guidance counselor?
       [/quote]
       Good suggestion. She might listen to her counselor. She got a 4
       in AP Biology, which is good. 5 is top score.
       #Post#: 1089--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: LesserGoddess Date: August 16, 2021, 3:12 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=iamnotarobot link=topic=54.msg1035#msg1035
       date=1629142023]
       Maybe a dumb question, it's been a long time since the SATs for
       me and my stepkids didn't take them. If she retakes does she
       have to worry about possibly not scoring perfectly on the
       english section this time? Can you retake just part?
       I was a science major, worked as a researcher before private
       industry, and given the chance again I would have made sure my
       'good enough' math was much, much more solid before university
       classes so I agree with what you're saying
       [/quote]
       She'd have to take the whole thing again. She might not score a
       perfect for the English but that doesn't matter so much with
       science I assume. But she is a perfectionist so that perfect
       holds a lot of sway.
       #Post#: 1092--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: LesserGoddess Date: August 16, 2021, 3:13 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Cairn terrier link=topic=54.msg1048#msg1048
       date=1629142684]
       My son just turned 19, so I’m still dealing with similar things.
       It gets really hard when they’re old enough not to do what you
       know they should.
       I guess I’d wonder if she’s worried about doing worse the second
       time, and if that would be a problem if she does?  Are both
       scores reported to colleges, or only the highest?  If you think
       it’s really going to be helpful, then I’d go with bribery.
       Something she really wants in exchange for a better score.  If
       you’d rather, think of it as an incentive to align your goals.
       [/quote]
       I think the highest score. I have bribed her before but she
       won't accept anything this time
       #Post#: 1096--------------------------------------------------
       Re: How to persuade daughter to take SAT again
       By: LesserGoddess Date: August 16, 2021, 3:16 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=animaniactoo link=topic=54.msg1044#msg1044
       date=1629142530]
       Is there a college counselor at her school? That's who I would
       tap for info about this for BOTH of you. That person is best
       positioned to know whether it's really "good enough" or "good
       enough" for the lower range of schools she's thinking about but
       maybe not the one she really wants to go to. Does it make a
       difference in potential scholarship money?
       These are the questions you want to have some solid answers to
       as a question of WHY she should take it again, rather than your
       feeling that she can do better and it might be useful.
       How does she do with living with her decisions/adapting when she
       finds she's gotten something wrong in general?
       If it turns out that she's right about her view as far as the
       college counselor is concerned, are you going to be able to
       accept that and let her make this decision as part of letting go
       and letting her make the important decisions about her own
       life/choices?[/quote]
       You're right about checking with the counselor.
       She's prone to catastrophic thinking despite several months with
       a psychiatrist a couple years ago. If she doesn't get into her
       favorite schools I'm concerned that she'll just throw up her
       hands about college in general. I don't think ultimately she
       would be happy that she didn't go.
       Yes, I think if the counselor concurs I'd accept that. Honestly,
       I'll accept it if she continues to say she won't take it. I am
       worried she'll regret it if it means she doesn't get into the
       school she wants to go.
       [quote author=animaniactoo link=topic=54.msg1044#msg1044
       date=1629142530]
       If it turns out that she's wrong... and won't be convinced to
       try... personally, I would probably let it go and start doing
       some research now on what her backup plan might be just so that
       I'm available to give advice if she's floundering. N.B.: Usually
       this means that I say "Why don't you try checking out info on
       XYZ?" secure in the knowledge that XYZ is a legitimate thing
       that she will be able to find info about on her own if she does
       a basic Google search.[/quote]
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