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#Post#: 318630--------------------------------------------------
Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Heron Date: April 22, 2025, 3:39 am
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I sent the following request for advice to CH:
What's the best way to sweet-talk my husband into getting
hearing aids? He's 50, but he has hearing loss from playing the
drums since he was a kid, and he has hearing loss in the ear
that faces the amp during his gigs akin to a 70-year-old's.
A technician at Costco advised him to get custom-made earplugs
to protect what's left of his hearing, but he doesn't want to do
that.
He says he wants to be able to hear me, but he expects me to
raise my voice when talking to him, which I find cumbersome. (My
mom yelled at me a lot, so feeling like I have to yell at him to
make myself heard doesn't feel good.) He depends a lot on
lip-reading, but he's in denial about this.
Do I need to sit tight and wait for him to get over the
embarrassment and hassles involved in protecting/boosting his
hearing? When I ask him why he doesn't want to do anything about
his hearing loss, he just shakes his head and says, "I don't
want to yet."
I know nagging him about this won't work, but it's hard for me
not to express frustration when he asks me to keep repeating
myself. And I know that unaddressed hearing loss can increase a
person's risk of developing dementia someday.
I warned him that I was considering asking you for advice about
this, Carolyn, and he said he'd be interested in how you'd
respond.
***
Questions? Advice? He and I usually communicate really well, but
he's digging in his heels this time. It's frustrating!
#Post#: 318657--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: acl-ny Date: April 22, 2025, 8:10 am
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I wish I had answers for you.
My husband has hearing loss from years of using power and other
tools. I hate having to raise my voice and repeat myself also.
And I have to plug my ears when we watch tv/movies because the
volume he needs hurts me.
Sending mojo to you.
#Post#: 318662--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: animaniactoo Date: April 22, 2025, 8:29 am
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My advice as the daughter of a man who took a REALLY long time
to admit that he needed hearing aids:
Ask him to go to the appointment and learn more about what is
possible. Get fitted, see how it feels.
My dad's hearing aids are practically invisible to the naked eye
and that has helped a lot with his discomfort.
Just explore and get information. Don't commit to anything...
just get more information.
And then when he's had some time to process, talk about the idea
of getting them now for when he's ready, or for situations where
you really can't yell without creating a scene. Just for one off
use here and there. Like out to dinner at a restaurant. Where he
also needs to hear the waiter without it being a big deal. See
if he will feel more comfortable easing into using them as
something that fits the environment that he is in (for now).
Hopefully from there, he will ease into wearing them full
time... but expect this process to take months, not weeks. And
start at just going to get more information about what hearing
aids can look like today.
Also maybe liken them to glasses - they don't mean he's
deficient in some way. They are there to help him, a tool for
his use, not a mark of shame or weakness.
#Post#: 318679--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: northbayteky Date: April 22, 2025, 9:25 am
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I want to echo Ani. I had a coworker that got hearing aids and I
don't think he was 50. His hearing aids are nearly invisible.
What he said about having hearing aids was he wished he hadn't
waited so long. Now he can hear everything and the hearing aids
are Bluetooth capable and he often connects them to his phone.
Maybe start off with encouraging him to just get more
information about what's available on hearing aid technology.
#Post#: 318688--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Queenie Date: April 22, 2025, 9:54 am
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My advice is, tell his doctor. This may not help at all, but
it's worth a shot.
The part you can control is, you don't have to raise your voice.
#Post#: 318689--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Queenie Date: April 22, 2025, 9:57 am
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Wait. I have more:
One thing that kinda worked was when someone suggested cool new
wireless ear buds that had a ton of fun features. One of those
features just happened to include what they called "entry level
hearing aid."
The gadget-loving person with hearing loss took the bait. Heh.
#Post#: 318692--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Queenie Date: April 22, 2025, 9:58 am
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[quote author=acl-ny link=topic=3496.msg318657#msg318657
date=1745327423]
I wish I had answers for you.
My husband has hearing loss from years of using power and other
tools. I hate having to raise my voice and repeat myself also.
And I have to plug my ears when we watch tv/movies because the
volume he needs hurts me.
Sending mojo to you.
[/quote]
This is why God invented closed captions.
#Post#: 318707--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Heron Date: April 22, 2025, 10:36 am
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=3496.msg318688#msg318688
date=1745333643]
The part you can control is, you don't have to raise your voice.
[/quote]
Ooh. Hm!
#Post#: 318710--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Heron Date: April 22, 2025, 10:42 am
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He tried on some hearing aids at Costco. They were unobtrusive.
The technician said, "You don't absolutely need them yet, but
you will--especially if you don't take measures now to protect
your hearing while you play."
He refuses to go see someone to get fitted for earplugs for
musicians, and he won't say why.
I don't think he's going to want to do anything about his
hearing till he starts not being able to hear other people
besides me.
We don't have to blast the t.v. yet. I wouldn't cope well with
that.
#Post#: 318722--------------------------------------------------
Re: Musician husband, hearing loss
By: Heron Date: April 22, 2025, 11:07 am
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[attach=1]
Bought an inexpensive megaphone the other day. Heh.
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