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#Post#: 20464--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: guest154 Date: September 24, 2021, 12:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Wedding LW is making me worry a little for my daughter. Her
fiance's parents divorced years ago, and do not get along at
all. We have met the father and his girlfriend; we have not yet
met the mother and her partner. Fiance is from Long Island and
his parents are there; he and daughter live in NoVa. Daughter
has learned that when fiance and she visit, she must spend
exactly equal time with father/gf and mother/partner.
Wedding is down here - in downtown DC - and I'm imagining having
to deal with fiance's parents. Please Lord no!!!
#Post#: 20465--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: Queenie Date: September 24, 2021, 12:46 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20460#msg20460
date=1632505361]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=347.msg20456#msg20456
date=1632505245]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
date=1632505127]
Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you not
to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors. Her
very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were to
them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would leave,
you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their friend
and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know about the
dynamic.
[/quote]
Disagree.
LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
month could easily make a person cranky.
[/quote]
Umm, she comes right out and describes her own behavior
"hostile"
[/quote]
And? You've always been your very best self under duress?
#Post#: 20466--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: Esme Rain Date: September 24, 2021, 12:46 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20459#msg20459
date=1632505312]
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20452#msg20452
date=1632505200]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20438#msg20438
date=1632504875]
Oh man, mother of the groom, stop being so rigid!
I know, I know, that isn't fair because she is who she is but
holy hell. Sometimes it's ok to break the rules. Rigidity tends
to make people not feel close to you. LW could have totally met
the fiance outdoors with masks on or whatever and not broken the
rules.
Bringing up the college tuition she paid and the divorce decree
when asked about a wedding contribution - totally unnecessary
and hurtful. If she is pondering informing everyone of her ex's
infidelity I hope she knows the only person it will reflect
poorly on is her.
I have a couple of people in my life who have this inability to
see what it is about themselves that keeps them from having the
close personal relationships they observe in others. It is both
frustrating and sad.
[/quote]
I mean maybe maybe not. We weren't allowed to go for walks with
others. Now mind you might you have bumped into each other
while doing an essential errand and walked back together. But
still.
Her current and past financial state is not clear to me. If 1/3
nearly wiped her out and means she has barely a crumb saved for
retirement but that is the only way she could get tight-fisted
but rich ex to contribute...well I see why she is sensitive
still about it. Mind you she doesn't plead poverty in the
letter.
I think you're right though it is about the infidelity. Getting
ready for a wedding is bringing that to the surface again.
[/quote]
Who told "we" they weren't allowed to go on walks with others?
There were some lower risk ways she could have spent time
getting to know the fiance. She chose not to in favor of a rigid
interpretation of the rules. And now she is where she is.
[/quote]
Public Health.
#Post#: 20467--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: badpoodle Date: September 24, 2021, 12:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20466#msg20466
date=1632505564]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20459#msg20459
date=1632505312]
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20452#msg20452
date=1632505200]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20438#msg20438
date=1632504875]
Oh man, mother of the groom, stop being so rigid!
I know, I know, that isn't fair because she is who she is but
holy hell. Sometimes it's ok to break the rules. Rigidity tends
to make people not feel close to you. LW could have totally met
the fiance outdoors with masks on or whatever and not broken the
rules.
Bringing up the college tuition she paid and the divorce decree
when asked about a wedding contribution - totally unnecessary
and hurtful. If she is pondering informing everyone of her ex's
infidelity I hope she knows the only person it will reflect
poorly on is her.
I have a couple of people in my life who have this inability to
see what it is about themselves that keeps them from having the
close personal relationships they observe in others. It is both
frustrating and sad.
[/quote]
I mean maybe maybe not. We weren't allowed to go for walks with
others. Now mind you might you have bumped into each other
while doing an essential errand and walked back together. But
still.
Her current and past financial state is not clear to me. If 1/3
nearly wiped her out and means she has barely a crumb saved for
retirement but that is the only way she could get tight-fisted
but rich ex to contribute...well I see why she is sensitive
still about it. Mind you she doesn't plead poverty in the
letter.
I think you're right though it is about the infidelity. Getting
ready for a wedding is bringing that to the surface again.
[/quote]
Who told "we" they weren't allowed to go on walks with others?
There were some lower risk ways she could have spent time
getting to know the fiance. She chose not to in favor of a rigid
interpretation of the rules. And now she is where she is.
[/quote]
Public Health.
[/quote]
Nope
#Post#: 20468--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: badpoodle Date: September 24, 2021, 12:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=347.msg20465#msg20465
date=1632505561]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20460#msg20460
date=1632505361]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=347.msg20456#msg20456
date=1632505245]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
date=1632505127]
Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you not
to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors. Her
very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were to
them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would leave,
you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their friend
and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know about the
dynamic.
[/quote]
Disagree.
LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
month could easily make a person cranky.
[/quote]
Umm, she comes right out and describes her own behavior
"hostile"
[/quote]
And? You've always been your very best self under duress?
[/quote]
No but I apologize for it after. Which is exactly what she
should have done. She just laments how awkward her bitchiness
made everything.
#Post#: 20469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: guest154 Date: September 24, 2021, 12:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=CaviaPorcellus link=topic=347.msg20463#msg20463
date=1632505507]
We didn't do any assigned seating at our wedding. People
naturally broke off into groups that made sense to them, and our
families made sure to mingle with every table. It worked fine.
[/quote]
Our reception was at my wife's home; there was no seating. Just
mingling in the house and in the yard.
I liked it. :-)
#Post#: 20470--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: Esme Rain Date: September 24, 2021, 12:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20467#msg20467
date=1632505620]
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20466#msg20466
date=1632505564]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20459#msg20459
date=1632505312]
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20452#msg20452
date=1632505200]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20438#msg20438
date=1632504875]
Oh man, mother of the groom, stop being so rigid!
I know, I know, that isn't fair because she is who she is but
holy hell. Sometimes it's ok to break the rules. Rigidity tends
to make people not feel close to you. LW could have totally met
the fiance outdoors with masks on or whatever and not broken the
rules.
Bringing up the college tuition she paid and the divorce decree
when asked about a wedding contribution - totally unnecessary
and hurtful. If she is pondering informing everyone of her ex's
infidelity I hope she knows the only person it will reflect
poorly on is her.
I have a couple of people in my life who have this inability to
see what it is about themselves that keeps them from having the
close personal relationships they observe in others. It is both
frustrating and sad.
[/quote]
I mean maybe maybe not. We weren't allowed to go for walks with
others. Now mind you might you have bumped into each other
while doing an essential errand and walked back together. But
still.
Her current and past financial state is not clear to me. If 1/3
nearly wiped her out and means she has barely a crumb saved for
retirement but that is the only way she could get tight-fisted
but rich ex to contribute...well I see why she is sensitive
still about it. Mind you she doesn't plead poverty in the
letter.
I think you're right though it is about the infidelity. Getting
ready for a wedding is bringing that to the surface again.
[/quote]
Who told "we" they weren't allowed to go on walks with others?
There were some lower risk ways she could have spent time
getting to know the fiance. She chose not to in favor of a rigid
interpretation of the rules. And now she is where she is.
[/quote]
Public Health.
[/quote]
Nope
[/quote]
Yes they did Poodle. Please don't tell me I'm not able to
follow the directions that my own Public Health imposed.
It was very hard. But I did it gladly and was grateful I was
able to.
#Post#: 20471--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: buffylover73 Date: September 24, 2021, 12:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20459#msg20459
date=1632505312]
[quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20452#msg20452
date=1632505200]
[quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20438#msg20438
date=1632504875]
Oh man, mother of the groom, stop being so rigid!
I know, I know, that isn't fair because she is who she is but
holy hell. Sometimes it's ok to break the rules. Rigidity tends
to make people not feel close to you. LW could have totally met
the fiance outdoors with masks on or whatever and not broken the
rules.
Bringing up the college tuition she paid and the divorce decree
when asked about a wedding contribution - totally unnecessary
and hurtful. If she is pondering informing everyone of her ex's
infidelity I hope she knows the only person it will reflect
poorly on is her.
I have a couple of people in my life who have this inability to
see what it is about themselves that keeps them from having the
close personal relationships they observe in others. It is both
frustrating and sad.
[/quote]
I mean maybe maybe not. We weren't allowed to go for walks with
others. Now mind you might you have bumped into each other
while doing an essential errand and walked back together. But
still.
Her current and past financial state is not clear to me. If 1/3
nearly wiped her out and means she has barely a crumb saved for
retirement but that is the only way she could get tight-fisted
but rich ex to contribute...well I see why she is sensitive
still about it. Mind you she doesn't plead poverty in the
letter.
I think you're right though it is about the infidelity. Getting
ready for a wedding is bringing that to the surface again.
[/quote]
Who told "we" they weren't allowed to go on walks with others?
There were some lower risk ways she could have spent time
getting to know the fiance. She chose not to in favor of a rigid
interpretation of the rules. And now she is where she is.
[/quote]
Yeah, I agree here. I didn't want to say anything because some
people can be so...grrrr if you share that you did things
differently during shut down that worked for you. You are brave.
We had a bubble. We also did Zoom happy hours. We texted and
emailed each other daily to check in. We did social distancing
at each other's yards. When things opened up slightly, we
followed the rules and sat on restaurant patios. There were many
ways LW could have gotten to know her son's GF.
She came across to me as incredibly bitter, judgmental and I
don't think anyone deserves infidelity in their marriage, but I
wonder if she didn't bring some of that bitterness into her
marriage.
And the comment of paying for college per divorce decree is so
horrible that if she said it to son, right there might be the
reason son's fiance seems to be closer to his dad/new wife.
#Post#: 20473--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: buffylover73 Date: September 24, 2021, 12:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=CaviaPorcellus link=topic=347.msg20463#msg20463
date=1632505507]
We didn't do any assigned seating at our wedding. People
naturally broke off into groups that made sense to them, and our
families made sure to mingle with every table. It worked fine.
[/quote]
We tried but everyone just moved their cards to where they
wanted to sit anyway, so it was a lost cause and a day of
seating chart discussions wasted. In retrospect it was dumb
given our small group of attendees.
#Post#: 20474--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 24, 2021, 12:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=armybrat link=topic=347.msg20469#msg20469
date=1632505664]
[quote author=CaviaPorcellus link=topic=347.msg20463#msg20463
date=1632505507]
We didn't do any assigned seating at our wedding. People
naturally broke off into groups that made sense to them, and our
families made sure to mingle with every table. It worked fine.
[/quote]
Our reception was at my wife's home; there was no seating. Just
mingling in the house and in the yard.
I liked it. :-)
[/quote]
Yeah, I wouldn't do seating charts. People will hang with who
they want to.
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