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#Post#: 20497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: CaviaPorcellus
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Chicagogirl22 link ---
>
> [quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20481#msg20481
date=1632505994]
> So I was wondering who paid for the other third of the groom's
education. Could be him himself (although that is a _lot_ of
money for a young person in the US). Could be a benevolent
grandparent or even a scholarship (although since LW specifies
that the breakdown of costs was in the divorce decree the
scholarship would have had to have been in the bag at the time
of divorce).
>
> But I wonder if LW bring it up because this is a moment for
readjustment of costs. Divorce decree gave the dad a 1/3 share
of costs but after the divorce he became very wealthy. Because
of tension all around he didn't put more money into education
but has that money now.
>
> LW might not have that money and kind of wishes that this
benevolence had appeared earlier when Son wanted to do an
exchange or something.
>
> Just interesting that she brings it up and there might be a
more tangled financial story here.
>
--- End Quote ---
A lot of divorce decrees for people of some means includes the
stipulation of 1/3 to Mom, 1/3 to Dad, 1/3 student loans.
I think the LW just thinks that 2/3 of a college education is a
good start in life (to be fair: she is right) and now it’s time
for her son to pay for his own major expenses.
I don’t agree with this, it’s not how I feel, but I also get
where she is coming from. And I know people like this who are
otherwise fine people.
[/quote]
Yeah, the "pay for your own wedding" mindset is fine. The
expectation that every other parent or parent-adjacent adult in
this guy's life needs to agree is where she needs a slap upside
the forehead.
#Post#: 20498--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: Chicagogirl22
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I love that you say engagement ring giving and men proposing
are two practices that don't stand up to scrutiny (I wish more
people would say it!)
Internet, I would like you to meet chatter, who enjoys outrage
about what other people do with their money. Chatter, this is
the Internet who subsides on this almost exclusively.
#Post#: 20499--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: MidwestmikkiJ
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Queenie link ---
>
> [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
date=1632505127]
> Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you
not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors.
Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were
to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would
leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
>
> I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
>
> The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
about the dynamic.
>
--- End Quote ---
Disagree.
LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
month could easily make a person cranky.
[/quote]
I would have hated discovering strangers in the backyard of a
house when I was sitting.
#Post#: 20500--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: Queenie
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: GladGrace link ---
>
> Am I getting this right: dog-sitter pool-defender was caring
for a dog that ate something so indigestible that the dog needed
the emergency vet clinic? Aren't you supposed to keep the dogs
from eating things? Or, if these are your frail rescue dogs,
wouldn't you arrange for care that keeps the dog safe? I know
accidents happen but the whole situation seems off somehow. Four
dogs you don't know is a big big responsibility. The dog-sitter
was apparently also working from there, because she had a long
meeting. The owner didn't describe the friend/neighbor network
very accurately. It seems like the dog-sitter, probably without
intent, was not the only one to bite off more than she could
chew.
>
--- End Quote ---
The whole thing seems ill-conceived to me. I can't even imagine
asking someone to dog sit for a month for free. Now multiply
that times four, and then times a hundred because at least one
of the dogs is frail and elderly.
LW got the short end of that stick by a mile.
#Post#: 20501--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: GenuineKosherDill
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: MinArlington link ---
>
> [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20461#msg20461
date=1632505484]
> [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20447#msg20447
date=1632505026]
> [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20432#msg20432
date=1632504668]
> Ugh. I hate pool lady even more post update than before.
>
--- End Quote ---
I had to go back and read last week's chat since I missed it.
She seems a bit...rigid.
[/quote]
She's awful. She wanted the pool to herself and rather than have
a discussion with the neighbors and the house owner about pool
hours she huffed and puffed and was nasty to them. Even when
they saved her with the dog she's calling them invaders. Worst.
Person. Ever.
[/quote]
I totally disagree. I don't think it is at all reasonable to go
into a house-sitting situation with the expectation that it will
be an open house for all the neighbors to come over whenever
they feel like it and without asking or giving a heads-up. To
me, the Worst Person Ever award is shared by all the neighbors
who helped themselves to that house/pool knowing that there was
a house-sitter who would not know what the norms are and likely
would not feel comfortable saying WTF are you doing here. Tied
with the homeowner who failed to mention that neighbors will be
coming and going without warning and you can expect to have zero
privacy while multiple dog-sitting for A MONTH.
[/quote]
Sitter sounds like he/she has poor coping skills but I'm not
getting the hate. If she was remote-working, caring for the
dogs, house and yard and otherwise minding her own business till
strangers kept showing up, how does that make her the bad guy?
My money's on the neighbors being there a lot more during
pet-sitter's month than they would be when the homeowner is in
residence.
#Post#: 20502--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: buffylover73
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: BethinDC2AZ link ---
>
> [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20486#msg20486
date=1632506199]
> [quote author=MinArlington link=topic=347.msg20480#msg20480
date=1632505973]
> [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20461#msg20461
date=1632505484]
> [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20447#msg20447
date=1632505026]
> [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20432#msg20432
date=1632504668]
> Ugh. I hate pool lady even more post update than before.
>
--- End Quote ---
I had to go back and read last week's chat since I missed it.
She seems a bit...rigid.
[/quote]
She's awful. She wanted the pool to herself and rather than have
a discussion with the neighbors and the house owner about pool
hours she huffed and puffed and was nasty to them. Even when
they saved her with the dog she's calling them invaders. Worst.
Person. Ever.
[/quote]
I totally disagree. I don't think it is at all reasonable to go
into a house-sitting situation with the expectation that it will
be an open house for all the neighbors to come over whenever
they feel like it and without asking or giving a heads-up. To
me, the Worst Person Ever award is shared by all the neighbors
who helped themselves to that house/pool knowing that there was
a house-sitter who would not know what the norms are and likely
would not feel comfortable saying WTF are you doing here. Tied
with the homeowner who failed to mention that neighbors will be
coming and going without warning and you can expect to have zero
privacy while multiple dog-sitting for A MONTH.
[/quote]
Having a house/dog sitter is nice, but god, the preparation.
Here are all my streaming services. Wifi password. Garage and
door code. Here's access to my security cameras. The list of
meds for dogs, how and when to feed them, what NOT to let them
eat, where the poop bags are, what Amazon packages I'm
expecting, how to unclog the downstairs toilet if you mistakenly
poo in there...and each time I've gotten to my destination and
realized I've forgotten even more to list out.
Easier to never leave my home now.
[/quote]
I solve this problem by not having pets. Or plants. Or kids.
[/quote]
Oh yes! I forgot the plants. When to water the perennials and
house plants. What to do if one of my kids shows up unexpectedly
and wants to raid the fridge/freezer (weekly occurrence).
The ONE time I tried this it was for two nights. And I was a
mess because I KNEW I'd come back to something crazy. I'm
dreading when work travel starts up and I have to hire this out
again.
#Post#: 20503--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: acl-ny
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: GenuineKosherDill link ---
>
> [quote author=Chicagogirl22 link=topic=347.msg20475#msg20475
date=1632505862]
> [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
date=1632505127]
> Ok House sitter, your family member did NOT "ironically" tell
you not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want
visitors. Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch
you were to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they
would leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
>
> I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
>
> The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
about the dynamic.
>
--- End Quote ---
Driving comment was extremely weird to me
[/quote]
I didn't read it as inability to drive, but that she wasn't
familiar with the community.
Out by our cottage, there's an emergency animal clinic which
I've used once; anyone not intimately involved in that area
would be hard-pressed to find it even with GPS, because of some
windy and poorly marked roads. Even finding our place is
difficult because GPS tends to send people to a non-existent
"road" that is actually a patch of woods.
Four dogs for a month sounds grim. Next time, owner should just
pay a neighbor to live in, if they're over all the time anyway.
[/quote]
Hopefully the pet owner would tell you this, and either take the
drive with you or give you detailed directions on how to get
there.
#Post#: 20504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: Queenie
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Tangential wrt leaving the house:
MY SISTER: Will you be bringing the boys?
ME: No, they are probably planning a party for ten minutes after
we leave.
MY SISTER: Well don't worry. If they burn the house down you
have insurance.
#Post#: 20505--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: acl-ny
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:04 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: GladGrace link ---
>
> Am I getting this right: dog-sitter pool-defender was caring
for a dog that ate something so indigestible that the dog needed
the emergency vet clinic? Aren't you supposed to keep the dogs
from eating things? Or, if these are your frail rescue dogs,
wouldn't you arrange for care that keeps the dog safe? I know
accidents happen but the whole situation seems off somehow. Four
dogs you don't know is a big big responsibility. The dog-sitter
was apparently also working from there, because she had a long
meeting. The owner didn't describe the friend/neighbor network
very accurately. It seems like the dog-sitter, probably without
intent, was not the only one to bite off more than she could
chew.
>
--- End Quote ---
Is it possible the dog ate something a neighbor brought over?
#Post#: 20506--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
DIR By: badpoodle
Date: September 24, 2021, 1:04 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: MidwestmikkiJ link ---
>
> [quote author=Queenie link=topic=347.msg20456#msg20456
date=1632505245]
> [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
date=1632505127]
> Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you
not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors.
Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were
to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would
leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
>
> I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
>
> The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
about the dynamic.
>
--- End Quote ---
Disagree.
LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
month could easily make a person cranky.
[/quote]
I would have hated discovering strangers in the backyard of a
house when I was sitting.
[/quote]
I would have too. But I think being direct that she wanted them
to leave instead of rude/bitchy/passive aggressive would have
made the dog situation a lot less awkward. I think she owes them
an apology.
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