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       #Post#: 20497--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: CaviaPorcellus
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:00 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Chicagogirl22 link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Esme Rain link=topic=347.msg20481#msg20481
       date=1632505994]
       > So I was wondering who paid for the other third of the groom's
       education.  Could be him himself (although that is a _lot_ of
       money for a young person in the US).  Could be a benevolent
       grandparent or even a scholarship (although since LW specifies
       that the breakdown of costs was in the divorce decree the
       scholarship would have had to have been in the bag at the time
       of divorce).
       >
       > But I wonder if LW bring it up because this is a moment for
       readjustment of costs.  Divorce decree gave the dad a 1/3 share
       of costs but after the divorce he became very wealthy.  Because
       of tension all around he didn't put more money into education
       but has that money now.
       >
       > LW might not have that money and kind of wishes that this
       benevolence had appeared earlier when Son wanted to do an
       exchange or something.
       >
       > Just interesting that she brings it up and there might be a
       more tangled financial story here.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       A lot of divorce decrees for people of some means includes the
       stipulation of 1/3 to Mom, 1/3 to Dad, 1/3 student loans.
       I think the LW just thinks that 2/3 of a college education is a
       good start in life (to be fair: she is right) and now it’s time
       for her son to pay for his own major expenses.
       I don’t agree with this, it’s not how I feel, but I also get
       where she is coming from. And I know people like this who are
       otherwise fine people.
       [/quote]
       Yeah, the "pay for your own wedding" mindset is fine. The
       expectation that every other parent or parent-adjacent adult in
       this guy's life needs to agree is where she needs a slap upside
       the forehead.
       #Post#: 20498--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: Chicagogirl22
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I love that you say engagement ring giving and men proposing
       are two practices that don't stand up to scrutiny (I wish more
       people would say it!)
       Internet, I would like you to meet chatter, who enjoys outrage
       about what other people do with their money. Chatter, this is
       the Internet who subsides on this almost exclusively.
       #Post#: 20499--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: MidwestmikkiJ
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Queenie link ---
       >
       > [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
       date=1632505127]
       > Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you
       not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors.
       Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were
       to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would
       leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
       >
       > I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
       direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
       >
       > The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
       friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
       about the dynamic.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Disagree.
       LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
       but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
       month could easily make a person cranky.
       [/quote]
       I would have hated discovering strangers in the backyard of a
       house when I was sitting.
       #Post#: 20500--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: Queenie
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: GladGrace link ---
       >
       > Am I getting this right: dog-sitter pool-defender was caring
       for a dog that ate something so indigestible that the dog needed
       the emergency vet clinic? Aren't you supposed to keep the dogs
       from eating things? Or, if these are your frail rescue dogs,
       wouldn't you arrange for care that keeps the dog safe? I know
       accidents happen but the whole situation seems off somehow. Four
       dogs you don't know is a big big responsibility. The dog-sitter
       was apparently also working from there, because she had a long
       meeting. The owner didn't describe the friend/neighbor network
       very accurately. It seems like the dog-sitter, probably without
       intent, was not the only one to bite off more than she could
       chew.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       The whole thing seems ill-conceived to me.  I can't even imagine
       asking someone to dog sit for a month for free.  Now multiply
       that times four, and then times a hundred because at least one
       of the dogs is frail and elderly.
       LW got the short end of that stick by a mile.
       #Post#: 20501--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: GenuineKosherDill
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: MinArlington link ---
       >
       > [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20461#msg20461
       date=1632505484]
       > [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20447#msg20447
       date=1632505026]
       > [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20432#msg20432
       date=1632504668]
       > Ugh. I hate pool lady even more post update than before.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I had to go back and read last week's chat since I missed it.
       She seems a bit...rigid.
       [/quote]
       She's awful. She wanted the pool to herself and rather than have
       a discussion with the neighbors and the house owner about pool
       hours she huffed and puffed and was nasty to them. Even when
       they saved her with the dog she's calling them invaders. Worst.
       Person. Ever.
       [/quote]
       I totally disagree.  I don't think it is at all reasonable to go
       into a house-sitting situation with the expectation that it will
       be an open house for all the neighbors to come over whenever
       they feel like it and without asking or giving a heads-up. To
       me, the Worst Person Ever award is shared by all the neighbors
       who helped themselves to that house/pool knowing that there was
       a house-sitter who would not know what the norms are and likely
       would not feel comfortable saying WTF are you doing here.  Tied
       with the homeowner who failed to mention that neighbors will be
       coming and going without warning and you can expect to have zero
       privacy while multiple dog-sitting for A MONTH.
       [/quote]
       Sitter sounds like he/she has poor coping skills but I'm not
       getting the hate.  If she was remote-working, caring for the
       dogs, house and yard and otherwise minding her own business till
       strangers kept showing up, how does that make her the bad guy?
       My money's on the neighbors being there a lot more during
       pet-sitter's month than they would be when the homeowner is in
       residence.
       #Post#: 20502--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: buffylover73
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:02 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: BethinDC2AZ link ---
       >
       > [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20486#msg20486
       date=1632506199]
       > [quote author=MinArlington link=topic=347.msg20480#msg20480
       date=1632505973]
       > [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20461#msg20461
       date=1632505484]
       > [quote author=buffylover73 link=topic=347.msg20447#msg20447
       date=1632505026]
       > [quote author=BethinDC2AZ link=topic=347.msg20432#msg20432
       date=1632504668]
       > Ugh. I hate pool lady even more post update than before.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I had to go back and read last week's chat since I missed it.
       She seems a bit...rigid.
       [/quote]
       She's awful. She wanted the pool to herself and rather than have
       a discussion with the neighbors and the house owner about pool
       hours she huffed and puffed and was nasty to them. Even when
       they saved her with the dog she's calling them invaders. Worst.
       Person. Ever.
       [/quote]
       I totally disagree.  I don't think it is at all reasonable to go
       into a house-sitting situation with the expectation that it will
       be an open house for all the neighbors to come over whenever
       they feel like it and without asking or giving a heads-up. To
       me, the Worst Person Ever award is shared by all the neighbors
       who helped themselves to that house/pool knowing that there was
       a house-sitter who would not know what the norms are and likely
       would not feel comfortable saying WTF are you doing here.  Tied
       with the homeowner who failed to mention that neighbors will be
       coming and going without warning and you can expect to have zero
       privacy while multiple dog-sitting for A MONTH.
       [/quote]
       Having a house/dog sitter is nice, but god, the preparation.
       Here are all my streaming services. Wifi password. Garage and
       door code. Here's access to my security cameras. The list of
       meds for dogs, how and when to feed them, what NOT to let them
       eat, where the poop bags are, what Amazon packages I'm
       expecting, how to unclog the downstairs toilet if you mistakenly
       poo in there...and each time I've gotten to my destination and
       realized I've forgotten even more to list out.
       Easier to never leave my home now.
       [/quote]
       I solve this problem by not having pets. Or plants. Or kids.
       [/quote]
       Oh yes! I forgot the plants. When to water the perennials and
       house plants. What to do if one of my kids shows up unexpectedly
       and wants to raid the fridge/freezer (weekly occurrence).
       The ONE time I tried this it was for two nights. And I was a
       mess because I KNEW I'd come back to something crazy. I'm
       dreading when work travel starts up and I have to hire this out
       again.
       #Post#: 20503--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: acl-ny
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: GenuineKosherDill link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Chicagogirl22 link=topic=347.msg20475#msg20475
       date=1632505862]
       > [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
       date=1632505127]
       > Ok House sitter, your family member did NOT "ironically" tell
       you not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want
       visitors. Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch
       you were to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they
       would leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
       >
       > I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
       direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
       >
       > The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
       friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
       about the dynamic.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Driving comment was extremely weird to me
       [/quote]
       I didn't read it as inability to drive, but that she wasn't
       familiar with the community.
       Out by our cottage, there's an emergency animal clinic which
       I've used once; anyone not intimately involved in that area
       would be hard-pressed to find it even with GPS, because of some
       windy and poorly marked roads.  Even finding our place is
       difficult because GPS tends to send people to a non-existent
       "road" that is actually a patch of woods.
       Four dogs for a month sounds grim.  Next time, owner should just
       pay a neighbor to live in, if they're over all the time anyway.
       [/quote]
       Hopefully the pet owner would tell you this, and either take the
       drive with you or give you detailed directions on how to get
       there.
       #Post#: 20504--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: Queenie
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Tangential wrt leaving the house:
       MY SISTER: Will you be bringing the boys?
       ME: No, they are probably planning a party for ten minutes after
       we leave.
       MY SISTER:  Well don't worry.  If they burn the house down you
       have insurance.
       #Post#: 20505--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: acl-ny
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:04 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: GladGrace link ---
       >
       > Am I getting this right: dog-sitter pool-defender was caring
       for a dog that ate something so indigestible that the dog needed
       the emergency vet clinic? Aren't you supposed to keep the dogs
       from eating things? Or, if these are your frail rescue dogs,
       wouldn't you arrange for care that keeps the dog safe? I know
       accidents happen but the whole situation seems off somehow. Four
       dogs you don't know is a big big responsibility. The dog-sitter
       was apparently also working from there, because she had a long
       meeting. The owner didn't describe the friend/neighbor network
       very accurately. It seems like the dog-sitter, probably without
       intent, was not the only one to bite off more than she could
       chew.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Is it possible the dog ate something a neighbor brought over?
       #Post#: 20506--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live Chat 09/24
   DIR By: badpoodle
       Date: September 24, 2021, 1:04 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: MidwestmikkiJ link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Queenie link=topic=347.msg20456#msg20456
       date=1632505245]
       > [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=347.msg20449#msg20449
       date=1632505127]
       > Ok House sitter, your neighbor did NOT "ironically" tell you
       not to hesitate telling the neighbors you don't want visitors.
       Her very good friends/neighbors told her what a bitch you were
       to them. Instead of just directly saying you wish they would
       leave, you did it passive aggressively. LAME.
       >
       > I question not being able to drive more than a mile in any
       direction when you are unfamiliar with a town. I mean really?
       >
       > The neighbors looking out for the best interest of their
       friend and her dog kind of tells me everything I need to know
       about the dynamic.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Disagree.
       LW could certainly have been nicer or more professional about it
       but playing faux host while dogsitting four dogs for free for a
       month could easily make a person cranky.
       [/quote]
       I would have hated discovering strangers in the backyard of a
       house when I was sitting.
       [/quote]
       I would have too. But I think being direct that she wanted them
       to leave instead of rude/bitchy/passive aggressive would have
       made the dog situation a lot less awkward. I think she owes them
       an apology.
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