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#Post#: 20199--------------------------------------------------
Live Chat 09/24
By: animaniactoo Date: September 24, 2021, 7:30 am
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For when the chat starts - gift link, anyone can use:
HTML https://wapo.st/3ADUqtr
#Post#: 20344--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: Queenie Date: September 24, 2021, 11:14 am
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Don't link care of your brother to your mom's treatment of you.
He's your brother. Any obligation you feel stems from this, not
from your mom.
I agree with Hax that now is not the time to decide what you
will do when your mom is gone.
#Post#: 20349--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: VanGoghSunflowers Date: September 24, 2021, 11:22 am
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Oof this letter makes me sad. I agree that LW should go and live
where she (and her husband want to live) now, while it's
relatively easy to do so. When the time comes they can make a
plan. Maybe brother can come to her. Maybe they can find him a
home health aid or a (good, safe, healthy) live in care
situation.
But mostly I just feel awful for the hands that LW and her
brother have been dealt here.
#Post#: 20350--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: iamnotarobot Date: September 24, 2021, 11:23 am
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I feel for lw. Absolutely go live your life. I'd just caution
her that it took ten years for us to get a family member into a
residential home. Granted, we held out for the first choice,
some options would have been sooner. But there's no magical
answer for immediate placements usually, in the event her mother
dies or becomes incapacitated.
#Post#: 20351--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 24, 2021, 11:26 am
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Why do people stay in relationships that are so unstable just
meeting a friend could destroy it? She must be terrified ALL.
The. Time. that he'll run across a woman more his type and dump
her. Is being single so awful it's worth this kind of stress? I
just don't get it.
#Post#: 20352--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: Itopian Date: September 24, 2021, 11:27 am
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Bonnie. Wow.
"Can I meet him if I promise not to boink him?"
#Post#: 20356--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: MidwestmikkiJ Date: September 24, 2021, 11:30 am
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I hope the LW can eventually figure out how screwed up her
childhood was, how awful her zMom is, and how that is unrelated
to her brother needing care. She would need to face that
decision even if her Mom was a stellar parent.
#Post#: 20361--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: guest154 Date: September 24, 2021, 11:36 am
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Wait a minute. If Bonnie is not "the exact type of woman he
finds most attractive" then her relationship isn't going to
last, is it?
Something seems off there.
#Post#: 20364--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: MinArlington Date: September 24, 2021, 11:38 am
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[quote author=iamnotarobot link=topic=347.msg20350#msg20350
date=1632500630]
I feel for lw. Absolutely go live your life. I'd just caution
her that it took ten years for us to get a family member into a
residential home. Granted, we held out for the first choice,
some options would have been sooner. But there's no magical
answer for immediate placements usually, in the event her mother
dies or becomes incapacitated.
[/quote]
I submitted a quick note on the chat about this as well, but LW
also needs to understand whether the state where she, her evil
mother, and her brother all live has a "filial responsibility"
law. If it does, and she stays, she could be forced to take in
her mother and pay for her care if she becomes incapacitated and
does not have sufficient financial resources. I think that
physical distance (and therapy) are really important in a
situation like hers, but even more so if it prevents her from
winding up on the hook financially for her mother's care down
the road. In addition to therapy she may want to visit with an
attorney about protecting herself and her assets.
#Post#: 20365--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/24
By: GenuineKosherDill Date: September 24, 2021, 11:38 am
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If people submit questions in advance, you'd think CH could log
in a little early and have some responses ready to roll. That's
what other live-chatters do.
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