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       #Post#: 17241--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: Chicagogirl22 Date: September 17, 2021, 11:45 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=312.msg17238#msg17238
       date=1631897029]
       [quote author=Chicagogirl22 link=topic=312.msg17229#msg17229
       date=1631896648]
       [quote author=VagueMagician link=topic=312.msg17226#msg17226
       date=1631896249]
       [quote author=Chicagogirl22 link=topic=312.msg17223#msg17223
       date=1631896092]
       Nieces and nephews:
       6 - 18 hours of air travel is going to make a connection more
       difficult to forage.
       [/quote]
       Those nieces and nephews probably have a bunch of other
       relatives whose faces they actually recognize.
       [/quote]
       The LW kind of threw the distance in at the end.
       I do think you can make solid memories with people you live far
       from, but it’s just riskier and takes more effort.
       [/quote]
       Agree. She totally yada yada'd the crazy amount of travel it
       would take to see these people regularly. That, plus major time
       zone differences that will make live communication really
       challenging. The deck is kind of stacked and it's going to take
       a concerted effort to make this happen. Adjusting expectations,
       the answer to 90% of Hax's letters.
       [/quote]
       When there is major distance involved, I think the best move is
       to have one consistent holiday you share to really cement
       memories.
       I cannot stress this enough: pick something other than
       Christmas.
       #Post#: 17242--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 17, 2021, 11:46 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=LabPartner link=topic=312.msg17239#msg17239
       date=1631897049]
       The chat room is open and several people are inside. The
       comments are fast and furious.
       Well, not the angry kind of furious. You know what I mean. Come
       into the chat room for some real-time fun.
       [/quote]
       You want me to open ANOTHER tab?!
       #Post#: 17243--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: badpoodle Date: September 17, 2021, 11:46 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I don't think it's hostility, I think it's laziness.
       This is probably not the "finding grace" lens CH was suggesting.
       ETA: my company expects us to have adequate Wifi for video
       #Post#: 17245--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: floridafan15 Date: September 17, 2021, 11:48 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Chat #1: I think the problem is that LW thinks brother & SIL
       have to agree with her reasons. Good news, they don't! All they
       have to do is accept the decision with good grace.
       Which means what the reasons are, and that SIL couldn't
       understand because she doesn't have kids, is irrelevant.
       #Post#: 17246--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: GenuineKosherDill Date: September 17, 2021, 11:49 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Chicagogirl22 link=topic=312.msg17234#msg17234
       date=1631896966]
       [quote author=Queenie link=topic=312.msg17231#msg17231
       date=1631896834]
       Oh who the hell cares if they turn their camera on?
       I mean, besides LW.
       [/quote]
       This is one of those letters where I feel like the beginning of
       Nip/Tuck.
       Tell me, what do you REALLY dislike about your co-workers?
       Because it ain’t this.
       [/quote]
       I have heard Black co-workers discuss discomfort with Zoom
       meetings and read national articles about micro-aggressions that
       can be directed at people of color during virtual meetings.  Not
       saying that is the case here but certainly if it's OK with
       management, the LW should mind his own business.
       #Post#: 17247--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: northbayteky Date: September 17, 2021, 11:50 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=312.msg17243#msg17243
       date=1631897210]...
       ETA: my company expects us to have adequate Wifi for video
       [/quote]
       That's great. Do they help pay for it?
       #Post#: 17250--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: badpoodle Date: September 17, 2021, 11:53 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=northbayteky link=topic=312.msg17247#msg17247
       date=1631897437]
       [quote author=badpoodle link=topic=312.msg17243#msg17243
       date=1631897210]...
       ETA: my company expects us to have adequate Wifi for video
       [/quote]
       That's great. Do they help pay for it?
       [/quote]
       They do - twice a month they put a really nice salary in my bank
       account!
       #Post#: 17251--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: floridafan15 Date: September 17, 2021, 11:55 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       That poor LW with the jerk husband. She doesn't even exist to
       him as a person; all that exists is his projection of her.
       #Post#: 17254--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: GladGrace Date: September 17, 2021, 12:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=floridafan15 link=topic=312.msg17251#msg17251
       date=1631897702]
       That poor LW with the jerk husband. She doesn't even exist to
       him as a person; all that exists is his projection of her.
       [/quote]
       This is very much how my colleague acted towards his wife before
       he had a massive bipolar breakdown. He had lost touch with
       reality and everything was either her fault or she was wrong
       about it.
       #Post#: 17256--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Live CHAT 09/17
       By: Chicagogirl22 Date: September 17, 2021, 12:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Housekeeper:
       First, invent time machine advice.
       Do not work for free, even for family and friends. Especially
       for family and friends.
       Decide exactly what housekeeping and organizing you can do
       without resentment and do that. Decided exactly how many guests
       you can handle and express that clearly.
       Next time, arrange for payment.
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