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#Post#: 40308--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: TwoASAPsAgo Date: November 11, 2021, 9:57 am
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Dear Puppy,
It appears that you no longer need a careful 3-point turn to
back into The 3-inch Gap, also known as The Disputed
Territories.
Instead, out of nowhere, you seem to have settled on a short
gallop and a midair 180° spin move.
I am ... impressed. You totally stick the landing, and without
hitting me.
I should probably [s]give[/s] loan you to the circus, but you
know me and paperwork. So, instead you'll have to settle for
this:
I hereby award you the East End of the Couch. Take good care of
it.
Sincerely,
Your couchmate
Post Script: I have seized the West End. Don't try your little
stunt here. We both know you can't spin counterclockwise.
#Post#: 40478--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: muskrat Date: November 11, 2021, 2:51 pm
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Dear Cy:
Dont cross the 38th parallel, whatever you do. Sounds like the
middle of the couch has been declared the demilitarized zone
(DMZ-C) so dont push your luck, lil bro.
Just stay on your side aka the Eastern Front and no one will get
hurt.
Love,
A neutral civilian bystander
#Post#: 41111--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: Queenie Date: November 13, 2021, 10:33 am
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Dear LCP,
You know perfectly well that you are not allowed to leap onto
the sofa unless invited. When you insist on doing so anyway, l
shall shout sternly at you: "OFF!!"
When I do this, your job is to slink shamefacedly onto the
floor, not leap joyously as if this is the funnest game ever.
P.S. The ensuing burst of laughter is not an invitation to start
this series anew.
#Post#: 41152--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: animaniactoo Date: November 13, 2021, 12:43 pm
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=289.msg41111#msg41111
date=1636821185]
Dear LCP,
You know perfectly well that you are not allowed to leap onto
the sofa unless invited. When you insist on doing so anyway, l
shall shout sternly at you: "OFF!!"
When I do this, your job is to slink shamefacedly onto the
floor, not leap joyously as if this is the funnest game ever.
P.S. The ensuing burst of laughter is not an invitation to start
this series anew.
[/quote]
I hate to tell you that this reminds me of the teachers in my
life who are high school teachers who all agree that one of the
major tricks to getting them to take you seriously and maintain
control of your classroom is that you can't crack a smile in the
first week. Like, ever.
One guy admitted that he has a hard time not laughing at their
antics all through the rest of the year.
So... sympathy?
#Post#: 41940--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: Queenie Date: November 15, 2021, 5:27 pm
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Dear LCP,
Good for you, barking at that large dog during your hike with
Youngest.
Also, that large dog was actually a bear, so I'm glad you
thought better of approaching it.
#Post#: 42111--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: Queenie Date: November 16, 2021, 9:41 am
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Dear LCP,
You think that you are being clever and indeed you are adorable,
snuggling ever closer to me, edging bit by bit to my left.
I'm sure that the pizza crust on the end table has nothing
whatsoever to do with this.
#Post#: 42115--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: LabPartner Date: November 16, 2021, 9:45 am
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=289.msg42111#msg42111
date=1637077282]
Dear LCP,
You think that you are being clever and indeed you are adorable,
snuggling ever closer to me, edging bit by bit to my left.
I'm sure that the pizza crust on the end table has nothing
whatsoever to do with this.
[/quote]
I come home from the store, put the bags down on the porch,
invite Ziva to come and smell stuff, and she invariably goes
right to the grocery bags. (They always go right to anything
new, but sausage has a higher drawing power.) Anyway, Ziva
responds to the command, "Get out of my bags." (Dakota did,
too.) Doesn't even matter if I'm using the stern voice or the
happy one. She backs off right away.
#Post#: 42117--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: Queenie Date: November 16, 2021, 9:47 am
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[quote author=LabPartner link=topic=289.msg42115#msg42115
date=1637077523]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=289.msg42111#msg42111
date=1637077282]
Dear LCP,
You think that you are being clever and indeed you are adorable,
snuggling ever closer to me, edging bit by bit to my left.
I'm sure that the pizza crust on the end table has nothing
whatsoever to do with this.
[/quote]
I come home from the store, put the bags down on the porch,
invite Ziva to come and smell stuff, and she invariably goes
right to the grocery bags. (They always go right to anything
new, but sausage has a higher drawing power.) Anyway, Ziva
responds to the command, "Get out of my bags." (Dakota did,
too.) Doesn't even matter if I'm using the stern voice or the
happy one. She backs off right away.
[/quote]
I swear that I did not do this on purpose but my cat knew
exactly what "bugger off" meant.
#Post#: 42122--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: muskrat Date: November 16, 2021, 9:53 am
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You people and all your genius smart pets who understand &
respond to English.
Me: "Hey knock it off" (or some variation on that theme)
Gerbil🐭: <blank stare>
#Post#: 42126--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dear Fido
By: Queenie Date: November 16, 2021, 9:58 am
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[quote author=muskrat link=topic=289.msg42122#msg42122
date=1637078025]
You people and all your genius smart pets who understand &
respond to English.
Me: "Hey knock it off" (or some variation on that theme)
Gerbil🐭: <blank stare>
[/quote]
What you need is a puppy.
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