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#Post#: 14082--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: animaniactoo Date: September 10, 2021, 11:31 am
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Bald guy: "Okay, you think I'm uptight and I think you're rude
and pushy. Can we call it even and drop the subject?"
Okay, really just go with "Okay, maybe I am uptight, but if
so... let's just take that as another reason to drop the
subject."
#Post#: 14083--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 10, 2021, 11:32 am
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[quote author=Itopian link=topic=277.msg14081#msg14081
date=1631291452]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=277.msg14075#msg14075
date=1631291202]
Bald guy:
I have had excellent luck with the quizzical head tilt and "I
beg your pardon?" And if they double down, I just repeat that
until they either get embarrassed or give up.
[/quote]
I seem to recall the sequence goes:
"I beg your pardon?"
"I beg your pardon!"
"I believe you are gravely mistaken."
"How dare you!"
Then comes the blow across the face, and the seconds set up the
time and place.
[/quote]
Fish at dawn, sir!
HTML https://media0.giphy.com/media/jX708Wo6abfC8/200.gif
#Post#: 14084--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Esme Rain Date: September 10, 2021, 11:34 am
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[quote author=Itopian link=topic=277.msg14081#msg14081
date=1631291452]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=277.msg14075#msg14075
date=1631291202]
Bald guy:
I have had excellent luck with the quizzical head tilt and "I
beg your pardon?" And if they double down, I just repeat that
until they either get embarrassed or give up.
[/quote]
I seem to recall the sequence goes:
"I beg your pardon?"
"I beg your pardon!"
"I believe you are gravely mistaken."
"How dare you!"
Then comes the blow across the face, and the seconds set up the
time and place.
[/quote]
Oh yes. That's precisely how I do it. No wonder I don't get
any nonsense about it like poor LW! :)
#Post#: 14085--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: GenuineKosherDill Date: September 10, 2021, 11:34 am
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LW has lost respect for her slacker husband. That's a
difficult, if not impossible, state to recover from.
And if her lifelong value system included funding her
offsprings' education, shrugging it off as "eh, they'll find a
way" doesn't really address her angst over the matter.
Though I wonder, if she were capable of finding a higher-paid
job under duress, why she hadn't done so before. If he was
doing the heavy lifting financially while she stayed in a
congenial but lower-paid gig, some of their present woes are on
her, too.
#Post#: 14088--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Queenie Date: September 10, 2021, 11:36 am
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The script for the friend of the spouse of the cancer victim is
just so bad.
#Post#: 14089--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Itopian Date: September 10, 2021, 11:37 am
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[quote author=GenuineKosherDill link=topic=277.msg14085#msg14085
date=1631291673]
LW has lost respect for her slacker husband. That's a
difficult, if not impossible, state to recover from.
And if her lifelong value system included funding her
offsprings' education, shrugging it off as "eh, they'll find a
way" doesn't really address her angst over the matter.
Though I wonder, if she were capable of finding a higher-paid
job under duress, why she hadn't done so before. If he was
doing the heavy lifting financially while she stayed in a
congenial but lower-paid gig, some of their present woes are on
her, too.
[/quote]
Presumably the long commute added up to a serious quality of
life issue when he was actually [s]earning[/s] bringing home a
salary of his own.
#Post#: 14090--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Heron Date: September 10, 2021, 11:39 am
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=277.msg14088#msg14088
date=1631291814]
The script for the friend of the spouse of the cancer victim is
just so bad.
[/quote]
What would you advise?
#Post#: 14091--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Esme Rain Date: September 10, 2021, 11:39 am
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Re-read the first letter about the fired husband. It isn't
clear this is a pattern of negligence. Just that an old and
long-standing mistake where he did not review what he ought to
have reviewed cost the company a lot of money.
It's still bad. I understand she is angry. And he certainly
didn't come clean with her until absolutely forced to. But....
I mean some people pretend to go to work after being fired out
of embarassment. And this is his mistake that led to the
firing.
I'm just not sure how egrigious it is. I think if she brings
down the temperature for her own anger what to do may become
clearer (tell the kids1 Tell them something!).
#Post#: 14092--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: animaniactoo Date: September 10, 2021, 11:39 am
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Wednesday's LW: I did at one point, entirely tell my husband
that I knew that part of his attraction for me was that I was
capable of standing up to this mother. And then pointed out that
he now, of course, had the problem that he had to stand up to
me.
We have worked at his becoming better about standing up to his
mother on his own. I have worked to not be his mother when it
comes to getting my way, and we spent quite a lot of time
discussing the fact that I did not deserve the flashback of his
responses to things that he was really reacting to his mother
about when I am NOT his mother tyvm.
#Post#: 14093--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: GenuineKosherDill Date: September 10, 2021, 11:40 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=PalomaBlanca link=topic=277.msg14074#msg14074
date=1631291180]
The lack of integrity is a total, total dealbreaker to me. He
lied to the company, to his spouse (repeatedly), and now to the
kids. You can't have any semblance of a real or honest life
with that degree of subterfuge.
The guy reveling in his newfound freedom? Jesus wept, I'd be
camping out at a counselor's office.
To ensure that I left in the right way.
And yeah, the kids need to know. They're not six. If the LW
does decide to separate, they need to know that it wasn't for
trivial reasons. Basic ethics, trust, and wrongdoing were at
play.
[/quote]
It would depend on their ages. Granted he's an ass and a
disappointment, but disrupting a child or young adult's entire
belief system about their father, just to make the mom seem more
righteous, seems as though it could have lifelong ramifications.
She's suffering massive disillusionment, but is it really
necessary for them to suffer to the same degree? He might have
some good qualities as a parent.
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