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#Post#: 14072--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: AbidingDudev4.1 Date: September 10, 2021, 11:24 am
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I know I'm the only one probably but I have a real problem with
the advice to call the cops/dmv on the bad old driver as some
miraculous solution that saves you from having to say it to him
yourself out loud.
#Post#: 14073--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 10, 2021, 11:25 am
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[quote author=animaniactoo link=topic=277.msg14069#msg14069
date=1631290978]
The next time he says it worked out for the best, I would
probably say "Best for YOU" and then ask him to stop trying to
convince/tell me that it worked out for the best. Yeah, I'm on
board with take this into counseling because this is a shock to
the system.
[/quote]
Yeah, is she's told him what she said in the chat and he
shrugged it off I'd definitely be considering divorcing. But if
she hasn't told him how she feels...
#Post#: 14074--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: PalomaBlanca Date: September 10, 2021, 11:26 am
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The lack of integrity is a total, total dealbreaker to me. He
lied to the company, to his spouse (repeatedly), and now to the
kids. You can't have any semblance of a real or honest life
with that degree of subterfuge.
The guy reveling in his newfound freedom? Jesus wept, I'd be
camping out at a counselor's office.
To ensure that I left in the right way.
And yeah, the kids need to know. They're not six. If the LW
does decide to separate, they need to know that it wasn't for
trivial reasons. Basic ethics, trust, and wrongdoing were at
play.
#Post#: 14075--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Queenie Date: September 10, 2021, 11:26 am
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Bald guy:
I have had excellent luck with the quizzical head tilt and "I
beg your pardon?" And if they double down, I just repeat that
until they either get embarrassed or give up.
#Post#: 14076--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: BethinDC2AZ Date: September 10, 2021, 11:26 am
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[quote author=AbidingDudev4.1 link=topic=277.msg14072#msg14072
date=1631291083]
I know I'm the only one probably but I have a real problem with
the advice to call the cops/dmv on the bad old driver as some
miraculous solution that saves you from having to say it to him
yourself out loud.
[/quote]
I'd straight up tell him. I feel unsafe with your driving. Of
course, that would probably hurt the friendship but better that
than you.
#Post#: 14077--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Esme Rain Date: September 10, 2021, 11:27 am
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I wonder if it is harder for a friendly young man to carry off
the wow.
There is an alarming raise of my eyebrow that would come with
that for me that I think stops the "don't be so uptight".
"Strange question." Or some other bland statement might work?
A more "moving on" feeling than a registering of offense
(because what? He's not allowed to be offended because of what?
his age? But for some reason it doesn't click for him).
#Post#: 14078--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: animaniactoo Date: September 10, 2021, 11:29 am
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Bad driver. Well, grampa has been dead for awhile now, or I'd
think you were talking about him.
After a drive with a couple of close calls in 10 blocks, I
refused to let him drive if I was in the car. We never spoke
about it, he managed to just understand that I was always going
to drive.
Of course, that was probably made easier by my speaking up when
those close calls happened. "EEK!" "Omg!" "Oh geez, that was
close!"
And then I reported him to the DMV when we couldn't get his
doctor to do it. Grampa didn't show up for the road test and
lost his license entirely. And then he blamed my father for
reporting him, and dad was able to happily tell him that no, he
didn't do it.
P.S. The entire rest of the family knew I was doing it and was
in agreement that it needed to happen, I was just the one who
sent the actual letter/email. And then requested anonymity
because (as I said) it would be a problem for him to know that I
was the one who had made the report.
#Post#: 14079--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Heron Date: September 10, 2021, 11:30 am
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Possible baldness comebacks:
"Why are you letting it bother you?"
"Why do you think we need to discuss that?"
"That's between me and my barber."
"My parents taught me not to critique others' appearance. Did
you miss out on that lesson?"
"The hair migrated to my back. Wanna see?"
"I'd rather discuss something else."
"I'm amazed by how inconsiderate you're being."
Turning and walking away.
#Post#: 14080--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: animaniactoo Date: September 10, 2021, 11:30 am
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[quote author=AbidingDudev4.1 link=topic=277.msg14072#msg14072
date=1631291083]
I know I'm the only one probably but I have a real problem with
the advice to call the cops/dmv on the bad old driver as some
miraculous solution that saves you from having to say it to him
yourself out loud.
[/quote]
You call the DMV because you won't always be in the car when
he's driving and he needs to be off the road. But yes to saying
something directly.
#Post#: 14081--------------------------------------------------
Re: Live Chat 09/10
By: Itopian Date: September 10, 2021, 11:30 am
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=277.msg14075#msg14075
date=1631291202]
Bald guy:
I have had excellent luck with the quizzical head tilt and "I
beg your pardon?" And if they double down, I just repeat that
until they either get embarrassed or give up.
[/quote]
I seem to recall the sequence goes:
"I beg your pardon?"
"I beg your pardon!"
"I believe you are gravely mistaken."
"How dare you!"
Then comes the blow across the face, and the seconds set up the
time and place.
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