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#Post#: 10344--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: September 1, 2021, 2:29 pm
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I have rather too much experience on this topic and my mom had
an up close and personal front row seat when we went through
this with Mr Q's folks.
She'll move when she says she'll move and not one second before,
the end. I have been begging her to downsize for decades, and I
have also made it crystal clear that there are limits to what I
can and am willing to do to help her. But I am not going to
force her, no, no, no, no, no.
She's 86. She's mentally competent. She's got a bunch of
friends, some of whom live in assisted living. She knows how
this works. No way I disrespect her autonomy.
Is this all upsetting? Yep. Do I want her to do things
differently? Yep. Oh well.
#Post#: 10361--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Roselynn39 Date: September 1, 2021, 2:38 pm
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=21.msg10344#msg10344
date=1630524555]
I have rather too much experience on this topic and my mom had
an up close and personal front row seat when we went through
this with Mr Q's folks.
She'll move when she says she'll move and not one second before,
the end. I have been begging her to downsize for decades, and I
have also made it crystal clear that there are limits to what I
can and am willing to do to help her. But I am not going to
force her, no, no, no, no, no.
She's 86. She's mentally competent. She's got a bunch of
friends, some of whom live in assisted living. She knows how
this works. No way I disrespect her autonomy.
Is this all upsetting? Yep. Do I want her to do things
differently? Yep. Oh well.
[/quote]
It is unsettling but she sounds pretty good now and is aware of
the situation. But my talk is cheap.
Peace to you.
#Post#: 10362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: September 1, 2021, 2:39 pm
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Just sending a <hug>. That's a hard frustrating space to be in,
and I hear you.
#Post#: 17918--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: VanGoghSunflowers Date: September 19, 2021, 1:19 pm
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I just want to say that I'm glad this thread exists. My parents
are significantly older than most of my similarly-aged friend's
parents. So it's nice to have internet friends to go through
this with, even if I'm not sharing much right now.
#Post#: 18225--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: September 20, 2021, 11:13 am
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I hear you.
My mom is definitely getting a little forgetful about some
stuff. She still runs her own life with full competence but I
have to explain an incomplete pass at least six times each
Sunday. Also how a completed pass into the end zone (she
doesn't call it the end zone) is a touchdown. Every. Sunday.
You know that Pepsi Zero Sugar commercial, where they say "if
you've just spent the entire game explaining the entire game,
you've compromised enough"?
That.
#Post#: 40253--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: November 11, 2021, 8:03 am
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Oh thank goodness: Mom's been boosted.
#Post#: 42045--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: muskrat Date: November 16, 2021, 7:32 am
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I just opened this thread for the first time. My mom's almost
94, and, yeah...I hear you.
Thanks, all: you're the best.
#Post#: 42569--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: November 17, 2021, 8:56 am
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Soooooooooooo. 3 to 4 years ago or so now? Scritchy really
started developing a relationship with his half-sisters on his
birth dad's side of the family. I've developed a decent
friendship with one of them, so we'll often talk independently
of him on FB, etc.
His birth dad is.... kind of a jerk. I don't have time to go
into all the details now, but the short story is: His wife
basically kept everything running and after she died he has made
few efforts on his own behalf to keep his life in order. She
just messaged me because she isn't sure if Scritchy will check
his text messages, and the situation has devolved into: He's
argumentative, slipping into dementia, and apparently close to
being homeless. It is a big sorry mess that looks like it's
going to get worse, a lot worse, in part because he won't
participate in doing stuff for himself, he just wants someone
else to do it.
#Post#: 42574--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: November 17, 2021, 9:01 am
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[quote author=animaniactoo link=topic=21.msg42569#msg42569
date=1637161017]
Soooooooooooo. 3 to 4 years ago or so now? Scritchy really
started developing a relationship with his half-sisters on his
birth dad's side of the family. I've developed a decent
friendship with one of them, so we'll often talk independently
of him on FB, etc.
His birth dad is.... kind of a jerk. I don't have time to go
into all the details now, but the short story is: His wife
basically kept everything running and after she died he has made
few efforts on his own behalf to keep his life in order. She
just messaged me because she isn't sure if Scritchy will check
his text messages, and the situation has devolved into: He's
argumentative, slipping into dementia, and apparently close to
being homeless. It is a big sorry mess that looks like it's
going to get worse, a lot worse, in part because he won't
participate in doing stuff for himself, he just wants someone
else to do it.
[/quote]
Oh God. I know exactly how this feels. Mojo to all of you.
Fingers crossed he can be gotten into AL without undue further
trauma.
#Post#: 42579--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Thetis099 Date: November 17, 2021, 9:08 am
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[quote author=animaniactoo link=topic=21.msg42569#msg42569
date=1637161017]
Soooooooooooo. 3 to 4 years ago or so now? Scritchy really
started developing a relationship with his half-sisters on his
birth dad's side of the family. I've developed a decent
friendship with one of them, so we'll often talk independently
of him on FB, etc.
His birth dad is.... kind of a jerk. I don't have time to go
into all the details now, but the short story is: His wife
basically kept everything running and after she died he has made
few efforts on his own behalf to keep his life in order. She
just messaged me because she isn't sure if Scritchy will check
his text messages, and the situation has devolved into: He's
argumentative, slipping into dementia, and apparently close to
being homeless. It is a big sorry mess that looks like it's
going to get worse, a lot worse, in part because he won't
participate in doing stuff for himself, he just wants someone
else to do it.
[/quote]
I am so sorry. That is sad. Mojo for all involved.
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