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#Post#: 9993--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: CaviaPorcellus Date: August 31, 2021, 7:05 pm
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I am convinced that one of your primary duties as a spouse is to
run interference on things like this. Nobody who has ever been a
snot-nosed angry teen in your care should ever, ever be in
charge of showing you how to do things. Nobody's brain is wired
for that. But somebody around their age, who you met as an
adult? Perfect.
#Post#: 9995--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: kkt Date: August 31, 2021, 7:10 pm
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=21.msg9757#msg9757
date=1630438005]
Long story, slightly shorter:
My mom's ceiling fell in (plumbing disaster), covered by
homeowner's insurance, huzzah.
Her cordless phone from 1912 was destroyed, and the homeowner's
person told her to buy a new one and send him the bill.
But she can't. So Mr. Q researched cordless phones and checked
all the reviews and found one that's better for seniors (larger
size numbers, etc) and basically I ordered it on her credit card
because she can't work the walmart website.
And then it arrived but she evidently couldn't figure out how to
plug it in. I mean, really? So she brought it to our house and
Mr Q very patiently basically did everything except actually
plug it into the wall because of course we were at my house, not
hers. He set up her phone book and her speed dial and he
assembled the wall bracket and threaded the cord through and my
God he is just a thousand times a better person than I because I
really don't think I could have done it without losing my
temper.
Anyway it's working now. Yay?
[/quote]
Yay for the insurance company coming through!
They had cordless phones in 1912?
#Post#: 10011--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: August 31, 2021, 7:36 pm
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[quote author=CaviaPorcellus link=topic=21.msg9993#msg9993
date=1630454733]
I am convinced that one of your primary duties as a spouse is to
run interference on things like this. Nobody who has ever been a
snot-nosed angry teen in your care should ever, ever be in
charge of showing you how to do things. Nobody's brain is wired
for that. But somebody around their age, who you met as an
adult? Perfect.
[/quote]
He's very good with her.
#Post#: 10092--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: VanillaBean Date: September 1, 2021, 12:29 am
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Hi friends, VB almost 60yo here …
UA’s test for much more than UTI’s. They are also helpful for
cancer screening (kidneys/ bladder), diabetes I think,
hydration, etc. They look for infection, sediment, proteins,
blood, etc.
They are cheap and non-invasive. My doc will do one anytime I
request … which is great because as an aging mom of several,
when I’m worried about my bladder it’s so nice to have easy
relief of concern and the reassurance all’s well and it’s just
aging momma stuff.
I’m sorry for the challenges many of you are facing with aging
parents and can (very honestly) say I am happy to be on the
other side of that season of life.
I don’t want my body to last longer than my mind or my mind to
last longer than my body — which means tapping out earlier than
arguably necessary. Mr Bean, from experience with patients, says
all of us can talk a good storm now but when the time comes no
one seems to want to lose even a day. All of this aging stuff is
pretty sucky.-
#Post#: 10156--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: September 1, 2021, 9:34 am
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<pounces on VB> You're here, you're here, you're here! I missed
you! Can I bedazzle anything for you?
On the aging stuff - as my godmother has been wont to say about
it "This aging shit is for the birds".
#Post#: 10222--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: kkt Date: September 1, 2021, 11:24 am
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[quote author=VanillaBean link=topic=21.msg10092#msg10092
date=1630474172]
Hi friends, VB almost 60yo here …
UA’s test for much more than UTI’s. They are also helpful for
cancer screening (kidneys/ bladder), diabetes I think,
hydration, etc. They look for infection, sediment, proteins,
blood, etc.
They are cheap and non-invasive. My doc will do one anytime I
request … which is great because as an aging mom of several,
when I’m worried about my bladder it’s so nice to have easy
relief of concern and the reassurance all’s well and it’s just
aging momma stuff.
I’m sorry for the challenges many of you are facing with aging
parents and can (very honestly) say I am happy to be on the
other side of that season of life.
I don’t want my body to last longer than my mind or my mind to
last longer than my body — which means tapping out earlier than
arguably necessary. Mr Bean, from experience with patients, says
all of us can talk a good storm now but when the time comes no
one seems to want to lose even a day. All of this aging stuff is
pretty sucky.-
[/quote]
Hi VanillaBean!
#Post#: 10327--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Roselynn39 Date: September 1, 2021, 2:01 pm
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Vanilla Bean
"I am happy to be on the other side of that season of life.
I don’t want my body to last longer than my mind or my mind to
last longer than my body — which means tapping out earlier than
arguably necessary. Mr Bean, from experience with patients, says
all of us can talk a good storm now but when the time comes no
one seems to want to lose even a day. All of this aging stuff is
pretty sucky.-"
I am in total agreement with everything stated here, including
Mr. Bean's thoughts. Reminds me when I broke my vertebrae before
Thanksgiving and my daughter said, "You know if you fall again,
you have to start thinking about moving". I said I was not
moving and where to? She looked at me and said you know,
someplace safe.
I said, where grandma lived? She said yes. My mother was much
older than me before she went into Senior Living. Uh, no. I'll
know when it's time. I'm 70, but not dead yet. Jeez.
But I did get rid of my slip on slippers (which caused the
fall). As my PT said, "they don't call them slippers for
nothing". Never thought about that before...
#Post#: 10331--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: September 1, 2021, 2:06 pm
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I worry about my mom falling. She has neuropathy in her feet
from an autoimmune thing she had a while back. Lately her
balance is worse and of course she's got osteoporosis. I'm sure
you all remember when she fell and broke her neck last fall.
Lately when she walks around my house she pretty much always is
reaching for some stability, like a chair back or a wall, but
will she use a cane? Of course not!
Anyway I'm dreading the part where she can't live in her own
damned house any more. But I am never ever ever going to force
her to move. That decision is gonna have to come from her.
#Post#: 10336--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: September 1, 2021, 2:18 pm
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@ Queenie - we did kind of force my grandparents to move. In a
"This is your choice, but we can't keep making this drive so
often/in an emergency, and you are not safe living here" kind of
way. It was some hard conversations about money, health risks,
and support capabilities.
Some things I learned about moving into Assisted Living/Senior
Living - it works MUCH MUCH better if you move in while you can
still move around on your own relatively well and establish
yourself in the neighborhood (you know where things are), and
have some emotional resilience and ability to make friends with
other residents.
If you wait until it's the last possible moment for you to be
safe living at home (or beyond that), those things become much
much harder and it feels less like an active choice and that can
color the entire outlook about being there.
Of course, some of this depends on the quality of AL/SL that you
are making your new home. But in general... going before you
HAVE to go seems to result in a better experience. Those are
points that you might want to talk to your mom about. It's
harder to get used to a new place/area when you can't roam it
freely.
#Post#: 10339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Roselynn39 Date: September 1, 2021, 2:25 pm
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[quote author=Queenie link=topic=21.msg10331#msg10331
date=1630523217]
I worry about my mom falling. She has neuropathy in her feet
from an autoimmune thing she had a while back. Lately her
balance is worse and of course she's got osteoporosis. I'm sure
you all remember when she fell and broke her neck last fall.
Lately when she walks around my house she pretty much always is
reaching for some stability, like a chair back or a wall, but
will she use a cane? Of course not!
Anyway I'm dreading the part where she can't live in her own
damned house any more. But I am never ever ever going to force
her to move. That decision is gonna have to come from her.
And as Ani says, don't wait for a crisis, which I was trying to
avoid with them. They lived in a different state, I had a
husband who traveled and a kid in HS with a lot of activities.
But I am not there yet. I'll know when. I want to pick my place,
if need be. I have a few years to go.
[/quote]
If you don't my asking, how old is your mother?
I started leaning on my parents to move. They lived in a second
floor walk up apartment. My father had neuropathy and was in
dementia. My mother had just driven into a brick wall as she had
a blackout. At the hospital, she received a pacemaker and a
broken vertebrae diagnosis. On and on. They were in their late
80s.
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