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#Post#: 396--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: KathySky Date: August 14, 2021, 1:50 pm
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I'm trying to figure out how and when I would do it.
I would never want to put my children through some of what I've
read about, including Rufus' description.
My parents and grandparents all died before they got to that
point, so I've never directly experienced it.
#Post#: 397--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: guest80 Date: August 14, 2021, 2:07 pm
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In my opinion, one step to take is to complete a Health Care
Directive. I'm in Minnesota and my physician's office
recommended that we fill out the 4 page form (not the short one
page form.) It provides guidance to your medical team as well
as your family regarding your wishes if you're incapacitated.
It only goes so far as the law allows, but at least it prevents
being "maintained" when there is no hope of recovery and allows
you to speak for yourself about your wishes once you can't
express your wishes directly.
I'm neither a lawyer nor a doctor. But both the lawyer doing
our wills and our doctors recommended we do this, so we did.
Ours needed to be either notarized or witnessed and copies filed
with our physicians's office and with our health care agents.
Another thing that I've heard is helpful is to engage hospice at
the end of life. And to make sure that if you're at that point
(end of life point) that any family and/or caregivers know not
to call paramedics to revive you if you become unconscious. My
understanding (which may or may not be correct) is that
paramedics are trained to administer emergency care and
transport you as appropriate. They don't evaluate what your
wishes might be.
Sorry to bring up such a sad topic on a beautiful (at least here
in Minnesota) Saturday afternoon. But I do think dealing with
these things in advance is the thing to do.
#Post#: 414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: Queenie Date: August 14, 2021, 4:13 pm
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EMS has a duty to do everything they can to save you unless you
have a DNR, which you should post somewhere extremely visible.
#Post#: 572--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: kkt Date: August 15, 2021, 2:05 pm
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[quote author=Skowronek link=topic=21.msg571#msg571
date=1629053704]
[quote author=Queenie link=topic=21.msg414#msg414
date=1628975599]
EMS has a duty to do everything they can to save you unless you
have a DNR, which you should post somewhere extremely visible.
[/quote]
Always remember that a tattoo does NOT meet the standard.
[/quote]
Yeah, really hard for the notary public to tattoo their notary
stamp on you :D
#Post#: 703--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: HeddyL2627 Date: August 15, 2021, 8:44 pm
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As many of you likely know, my dad became paraplegic 5 years
ago. He requires 24/7 skilled nursing. I'm the only child — and
formerly estranged child — so I've become mom's back up. It's
been an adventure.
As for the DNR — post a notarized copy of the DNR on the fridge.
That's where EMS checks.
#Post#: 707--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: guest80 Date: August 15, 2021, 8:50 pm
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Oh wow, didn't know that. That's a tough one, so sending you
hugs!
And I hope you have some support. Care giving is very hard as I
am sure you know by now.
#Post#: 711--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: August 15, 2021, 8:55 pm
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[quote author=HeddyL2627 link=topic=21.msg703#msg703
date=1629078258]
As many of you likely know, my dad became paraplegic 5 years
ago. He requires 24/7 skilled nursing. I'm the only child — and
formerly estranged child — so I've become mom's back up. It's
been an adventure.
As for the DNR — post a notarized copy of the DNR on the fridge.
That's where EMS checks.
[/quote]
I'm sorry, Heddy. I think I did know that at some point. I
imagine that "it's been an adventure" is an understatement. I'm
glad that neither you nor your mom is alone in dealing with
caregiving for him, although I hope that there's a 3rd string
available now and then.
#Post#: 730--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: HeddyL2627 Date: August 15, 2021, 9:23 pm
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We're the only two family members, backed up by the nursing
staff of a state-run VA home.
My spouse is a great support crew — mostly coffee/alcohol/hugs
:) — but will do anything else we need, if specifically asked.
#Post#: 737--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: animaniactoo Date: August 15, 2021, 10:05 pm
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I can attest that there are days when coffee (or
tea)/alcohol/hugs are an important part of a support system...
#Post#: 1150--------------------------------------------------
Re: Aging Parents
By: kkt Date: August 16, 2021, 4:07 pm
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[quote author=HeddyL2627 link=topic=21.msg703#msg703
date=1629078258]
As many of you likely know, my dad became paraplegic 5 years
ago. He requires 24/7 skilled nursing. I'm the only child — and
formerly estranged child — so I've become mom's back up. It's
been an adventure.
As for the DNR — post a notarized copy of the DNR on the fridge.
That's where EMS checks.
[/quote]
Yeah. The DNR tattoo was based on a real patient who was
homeless, I think, and didn't have a fridge on which to post the
DNR, so he had it tattooed on his body. When he was admitted
and not fully conscious the hospital was unsure whether that was
a real DNR or a joke or something else.
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