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#Post#: 79821--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: Cairn terrier
Date: March 7, 2022, 3:01 pm
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A reminder that December is Procrastination Awareness Month.
#Post#: 79823--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: LabPartner
Date: March 7, 2022, 3:03 pm
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I went to a really bad pub called the Fiddler.
It was a vile inn.
#Post#: 79840--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: Paloma
Date: March 7, 2022, 4:36 pm
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A little Scottish humor...
"I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying Ooh, I love how
smooth it is."
#Post#: 79876--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: HeddyL2627
Date: March 7, 2022, 8:06 pm
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HTML https://youtu.be/Ipu-mqeHtK0
#Post#: 80128--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad went to a bar
DIR By: oreally
Date: March 8, 2022, 5:04 pm
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An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening
watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail
and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a bar.
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive
purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and
casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for
granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely
destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even
turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says,
"Get out -- we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on
the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then
leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They
converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
A boonerism walks into a spar.
#Post#: 80422--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: AbidingDudev4.1
Date: March 9, 2022, 1:58 pm
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Picture's worth 1000 words
#Post#: 83050--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: Paloma
Date: March 19, 2022, 3:00 pm
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From a friend from Ireland: The CEOs of Miller, Budweiser,
Coors and Guiness walk into a bar. The CEO of Miller says to
the bartender, "I want the best beer you have, a Miller Lite."
"Oh no," says the Budweiser CEO. "Your head is on backwards. Me,
I'll have the king of beers, a Budweiser."
"I'll have the only beer brewed with Rocky Mountain spring
water," chimes in the Coors CEO, looking awfully pleased with
himself. "Gimme a Coors."
The Guinness CEO thinks for a minute. Eventually he says "I'll
have a Coke."
The other CEOs look at him, confused. "Why aren't you drinking a
Guinness?"
The Guinness CEO sighs. "Well, I figured if you guys weren't
drinking beer, I wouldn't either."
#Post#: 83131--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: Cairn terrier
Date: March 20, 2022, 8:42 am
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When I said butter, I really meant ghee. I should have
clarified.
#Post#: 83776--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: Paloma
Date: March 22, 2022, 9:58 pm
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I was visiting my son the other night when I asked if I could
borrow a newspaper.
Mom, this is the 21st century, he said. I dont waste my
money on newspapers. But if you like, you can borrow my iPad.
I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him.
#Post#: 84031--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dad jokes
DIR By: northbayteky
Date: March 23, 2022, 5:38 pm
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Might not be an "actual" dad joke, but it's pretty funny...
I before E except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives
eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated
weightlifters.
Weird.
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