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#Post#: 340003--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: Cairn terrier Date: August 9, 2025, 6:29 am
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I organized a fundraiser to find a cure for erectile
dysfunction. But it was a real dud.
Nobody came.
#Post#: 340005--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: Aardtacha Date: August 9, 2025, 6:32 am
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Not really angry about that joke, but that was the closest emoji
to the face I was making.
Bad Cairn Terrier!
So glad you're posting frequently now.
#Post#: 340417--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: AbidingDudev4.1 Date: August 11, 2025, 11:09 am
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[quote]There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and
every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting
off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So
one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a
dildo. She gets completely upset, and screams, "You impotent
bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all
of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks
her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the
dildo if you can explain our three kids." [/quote]
In honor of our anniversary, and [member=5]muskrat[/member]'s
quote last week, here is my dirty joke contribution for the day
#Post#: 340452--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: Talitha Date: August 11, 2025, 12:09 pm
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[quote author=AbidingDudev4.1 link=topic=16.msg340417#msg340417
date=1754928566]
[quote]There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and
every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting
off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So
one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a
dildo. She gets completely upset, and screams, "You impotent
bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all
of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks
her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the
dildo if you can explain our three kids." [/quote]
In honor of our anniversary, and [member=5]muskrat[/member]'s
quote last week, here is my dirty joke contribution for the day
[/quote]
[member=17]AbidingDudev4.1[/member]
I read your joke right before going back to the nytimes Games
page to tackle the Spelling Bee.
Guess which word was the first one I found?
😎
#Post#: 340456--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: muskrat Date: August 11, 2025, 12:17 pm
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[quote author=Talitha link=topic=16.msg340452#msg340452
date=1754932190]
[quote author=AbidingDudev4.1 link=topic=16.msg340417#msg340417
date=1754928566]
[quote]There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and
every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting
off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was
stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So
one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a
dildo. She gets completely upset, and screams, "You impotent
bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all
of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks
her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the
dildo if you can explain our three kids." [/quote]
In honor of our anniversary, and [member=5]muskrat[/member]'s
quote last week, here is my dirty joke contribution for the day
[/quote]
[member=17]AbidingDudev4.1[/member]
I read your joke right before going back to the nytimes Games
page to tackle the Spelling Bee.
Guess which word was the first one I found?
😎
[/quote]
i got the panagram first but as soon as i saw the same word you
did, of COURSE i thought of el duderino.
#Post#: 340862--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: LabPartner Date: August 12, 2025, 4:12 pm
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Farmer Joe from Maple Creek stopped by Earl’s Garage to get his
old truck fixed. They couldn’t do it right away, so he decided
to walk home.
On the way, he popped into Hank’s Hardware and bought a bucket
and a gallon of paint. Then he stopped by Miller’s Feed & Grain
and picked up two chickens and a goose.
Now loaded down with all this, Farmer Joe scratched his head
wondering how he’d carry it all home.
Just then, sweet old Widow Martha from town came up and said she
was lost.
“Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” she
asked.
“Well,” Joe said, “my farm’s real close to there. I’d walk you
over, but as you can see, my hands are full.”
Martha suggested, “Put the paint in the bucket, carry that in
one hand, tuck a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in
the other.”
“Why, thank you kindly!” Joe said, and off they went.
Halfway there, Joe said, “Let’s take a shortcut through this
alley. We’ll be there quicker.”
Martha stopped and gave him a cautious look. “Now listen, Farmer
Joe… I’m a lonely widow with no husband to protect me. How do I
know you won’t push me against the wall, lift my skirt, and have
your way with me?”
Joe nearly dropped his bucket laughing. “Lady, I’m carrying a
bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose! How in the
world could I possibly do that?”
Without missing a beat, Martha winked and said,
“Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on
top, and I’ll hold the chickens.”
#Post#: 345896--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: LabPartner Date: September 9, 2025, 5:49 pm
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Doris and Mabel are shocked to see each other at the Pearly
Gates.
Mabel: What happened to you?
Doris: I froze to death.
Mabel: That must've been horrible.
Doris: Once the shaking stopped, it was strangely warm and
comfortable. What happened to you?
Mabel: Heart attack.
Doris: Wow! What happened?
Mabel: I thought Bob was cheating, so I burst into the house to
surprise him. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, but I
didn't believe it. So I tore through the house, checked every
room, but I didn't find anyone. Then I was heading into the
garage and wham, heart attack.
Doris: Well, damn.
Mabel: What?
Doris: If you checked the freezer first, we'd both be alive.
#Post#: 352255--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: LabPartner Date: October 15, 2025, 10:58 am
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The difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up the family tree. The other looks up the family
bush.
#Post#: 352862--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: northbayteky Date: October 17, 2025, 7:41 pm
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This might belong in politics, but I laughed right out loud.
Warning, it's a photoshopped picture from Time.
HTML https://bsky.app/profile/raykwong.bsky.social/post/3m3geseyqck2m
#Post#: 354630--------------------------------------------------
Re: off-color jokes
By: LabPartner Date: October 27, 2025, 9:47 pm
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A nun is taking a bath when there's a knock on the door. A bit
worried, she calls out, "Who's there?" "The blind man," comes
the reply. "Well, then come in," she says.
The door opens, and the man says, "Nice tits. Where do you want
the blinds?"
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