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       #Post#: 3786--------------------------------------------------
       First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Shawn
       Date: May 5, 2026, 4:27 pm
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       Well my first day of public school was goin as well as I hoped,
       which was terribly, I was just glad I smoked right before. It
       was nothing like The Breakfast Club or Clueless...although those
       movies are old so it's probably a different time. It was a small
       town so the place wasn't super busy but people still acted like
       I was an alien as if they hadn't seen me before...but my butt
       was in church every week and then some so it all felt very odd.
       Then there was the questions, about Brie and the girls, it
       seemed like every damn person wanted to know what happened and
       how I felt about it...I simply told them I don't want to talk
       about it and yet some of them didn't get the hint.
       And they kept asking me...like couldn't people take no for an
       answer.
       The classes were fine but I was reminded how much I had fallen
       behind, while Brie was good at planning...I hadn't been too
       engaged with the work and at some point it was too simple then
       somewhere along the way I lost the wagon. I hated it although
       there was a nice girl who helped me with the science we were
       doing. I tried to listen to what was going on but the work in
       front of me wasn't getting done or at least not correctly. I
       made it look like I was working but I actually had no idea what
       was going on.
       At least I had Ben and we met up in between classes or sat next
       to each other in the same classes. It helped but only a little,
       by the time lunchtime rolled around though I was agitated beyond
       and fed up of being asked about things. Lunch gave me a breather
       and I hung out with Ben and Emma. Emma realizing I was tense and
       she had brownies to take the edge off.
       I am now in math class and I have no idea what is going on. I
       try to focus but I don't think I covered this in homeschool and
       honestly since Brie and the girls passed I'd been slacking more.
       People blamed it on the grief but I just wanted to be there to
       catch Kent if he needed someone. I owe him that much.
       I do look at the worksheet in front of me...and make it seem
       like I am working.
       #Post#: 3788--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Roxanna
       Date: May 5, 2026, 4:49 pm
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       As the class is working on their assignment I'm walking around
       the room, answering questions and checking in with different
       students about different things.
       When I come to Shawn's desk it's from behind so I see that he
       isn't really working. Resting a light hand on his back I crouch
       by his desk. "Hey, Shawn. How's today going for you so far?"
       #Post#: 3790--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Shawn
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:13 pm
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       The light hand on my back startles me a little, I mean...Miss
       Roxanne has no presence like normally you can sense someone is
       there...with her I didn't. She's behind me so I flip my work
       over...you know maybe if she doesn't see it she'll still think
       I'm working. [B]"Uh today..t's... good. Yeah. Normal. Just... a
       day"[/b] I don't want to talk about it and I just want it to
       end.
       #Post#: 3791--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Roxanna
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:17 pm
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       I try to hide a smile as I look at Shawn while I'm turning his
       paper over to check his work. "What have you been doing all this
       time?"
       #Post#: 3793--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Shawn
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:29 pm
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       Oh no...she's going to know I'm behind and haven't actually been
       doing anything. Shit
       [B]"I have been workin okay..."[/b] my grip on my pencil
       tightens a little as I grab my worksheet back. [B]"I'm
       tryin..."[/b]
       #Post#: 3795--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Roxanna
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:39 pm
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       I give Shawn a warning look when he snatches the worksheet back.
       I recognize he's embarrassed he's been caught but I won't make a
       big deal of it during class.
       "Come see me at dismissal," I instruct Shawn and then move on.
       #Post#: 3797--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Shawn
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:47 pm
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       I had my head turned back to face the desk so didn't catch the
       warning look Miss Roxanne was giving me. I did nod though when
       she mentioned dismissal. For the rest of the class I really
       tried to focus on the work, focus on what was in front of me and
       what had been said but there was definitely gaps in my knowledge
       and someone was humming, plus the light was buzzing. I gave up
       and dropped my head onto the desk until the end of class.
       I wanted to slip out of the class at dismissal and not see Miss
       Roxanne but as soon as people started moving I could feel myself
       panicking. So I stayed in my chair, willing the noise of my
       classmates leaving to stop. I ended up staring at the ceiling,
       as everyone left.
       #Post#: 3799--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Roxanna
       Date: May 5, 2026, 5:57 pm
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       I waited til all the kids had left the room and went to sit in
       front of Shawn. His reactions to various things around him
       wasn't missed on me. If he hadn't looked so miserable before
       hand I'd have thought he was annoyed because he was in trouble.
       "Shawn, sit up," I say, lightly tapping his arm.
       #Post#: 3801--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Shawn
       Date: May 5, 2026, 6:03 pm
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       Again Miss Roxanne has no presence, I wonder if she's real...and
       the remember that this is real life and not some sci-fi movie.
       This was worse and more like a horror movie...they really should
       have a horror movie set at a school...or like a thriller because
       honestly it feels like that. Not to mention the razor edge my
       mood is sitting on.
       Miss Roxanne taps my arm and tells me to sit up, I glance at her
       without actually moving my head but eventually I move in my
       chair to right myself and sit up. [B]"I really was tryin..."[/b]
       I tell her just in case she thought otherwise.
       #Post#: 3804--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First Day Blues (Roxanne and eventually Kent)
   DIR By: Roxanna
       Date: May 5, 2026, 6:10 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I nod understandingly when Shawn says he was trying. "You get
       distracted easy," I acknowledge, wanting him to know I get it.
       "And that's okay but we have to figure out a way to work with
       it."
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