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#Post#: 892--------------------------------------------------
Love Lost
By: deHamm Date: July 13, 2019, 11:46 am
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Andre stood outside of his house as he looked at the lake while
it glistened with the sunrise. The morning was quiet, and he
realized the birds weren't even singing. He'd still had on the
same clothes from yesterday since a series of unfortunate events
took place. He was still processing the last 24 hours he had as
he thought about the scene he and DeAndre discovered.
Andre picked DeAndre up from the airport, and they began to ride
around looking for Nichelle. He'd gotten so worried, that he
pulled a contact he almost never used, and he inadvertently got
the police involved. His contact was able to classify her as
missing, and that lead to a tip that her car may have been
spotted near the edge of town.
Andre pulled up to a makeshift dead end with DeAndre in his
passenger seat as red and blue lights flashed from the police
and emergency vehicles that blocked off the street. He
immediately recognized her car with it's distinct rims, and he
noticed her driver side door was opened. He saw the blood
spattered on the window and his heart sank to the pit of his
stomach. He took a deep breath as DeAndre rushed out of the car
and over to the scene, but he was quickly stopped by enforcement
as they held him back.
DeAndre. Get off me!
DeAndre pushed one of the officers.
DeAndre. That's my fuckin mama!
Andre bit his lip out of DeAndre's confirmation, and he made his
way to DeAndre as DeAndre began to get aggravated with the
officers.
?? We need you to calm down sir!
DeAndre. That's my fuckin mama! Get the fuck off me man!
Andre approached DeAndre and the officers as another officer
began to walk toward them.
Andre. Dre..
A detective looked up as commotion began to unfold, and when he
saw Andre he spoke with authority.
Ross. Let him through.. That's her family..
The officers looked back at the detective and let DeAndre go as
he shook them off and took a deep breath walking toward
Nichelle...
Andre snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his back door
shut. He turned to look behind him seeing Xayvion and Marcus
walking down to him. He wasn't sure what to say to them. In fact
he was still processing what she'd done to herself. Once they
finally got to him, he slapped their hands and patted their
back in normal fashion. This particular time the hugs were a
little longer, and they hit a little harder.
Xayvion. How you doin man?
Andre shrugged and looked back out at the lake..
Andre. I can't believe she did this shit...
He wiped his face again. Since he and Nichelle divorced, he felt
like she hated him, and it wasn't until Keva's party that they
actually talked through it. Even after the party, they got to
talk more as the sun started to rise. He told her if he could do
anything to let him know, and part of him was hoping that she
would ask about returning to the house. He knew she was
unstable, but when they lived together, he could at least keep
an eye on her.
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#Post#: 894--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: BigBossJay Date: July 13, 2019, 12:20 pm
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Marcus. Did she say anything to you about it? She told Monica at
the party that she was okay.
Andre. That's what she told me. She was upset about the boys,
but that wasn't abnormal.
Marcus watched as Andre forced tears back into his body. Without
another word, he walked to him and hugged him again.
Marcus. It's okay, man. We gon' get through this.
Andre. I keep thinking it's a dream, man. Like she gon' call me
or something.
Xay. The boys know?
Andre. Yeah. DeAndre was with me when we found her. Jamal said
he's on his way back to town. He should be here in a couple of
hours.
Marcus could only imagine what Andre and his sons were going
through. For him and Monica, it felt like they'd lost a sister.
When Andre called to tell them the news, they cried. Monica
didn't get any sleep, meaning he didn't get much either.
Xay. Go rest, man.
Andre. Nah...I gotta be up when Jamal get shere.
Marcus. We'll let you know. You and De gotta try to settle
yourself for a little bit.
Xay. Running on fumes ain't gon' help y'all at all.
Marcus. We got it, bro.
Andre nodded and hugged them again before walking off into the
house. Marcus and Xayvion looked at each other.
Xay. I'ma go call and check on everybody, make sure they coming
back.
Marcus nodded as the back door slid open again. DeAndre looked
at him with a tear stained face.
Marcus. Come here, nephew.
DeAndre shuffled to him and Marcus wrapped his arms around him,
kissing the top of his head. He heard DeAndre begin to cry
again.
DeAndre. Why she do it, Unc?
Marcus. Iono, man. Some folks just feel like they had enough.
DeAndre. She was straight, though. She was in therapy and
everything.
Marcus. I can't explain your mama's actions, De.[/center]
#Post#: 896--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: deHamm Date: July 13, 2019, 1:31 pm
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DeAndre sighed and wiped his face as they released. He had now
been up for 24 solid hours, and he was emotionally drained. He'd
kept going through moments of acceptance and denial even though
he seen her and the damage she'd done to herself.
DeAndre looked out at the backyard as his Uncle Xay walked over
to him and they hugged too..
Xay. How you holding up?
DeAndre shrugged.
DeAndre. Iono..
Xay. You called Mariah?
DeAndre. Yeahh.. Her and the kids on their way.. Ima have to go
get em from the airport in a minute..
Marcus. Na.. We'll take care of that. We'll get everybody here..
I think you should get some rest though man..
DeAndre. I can't rest Unc...
Marcus. Try.. I was telling your dad.. Yall can't be running off
fumes..
Xay. Yeahh.. Go lay down.. We gon make sure everything alright..
DeAndre sighed and realized he wasn't going to win with either
of them.
He turned and walked back into the house making his way to his
childhood bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked
around the room. The last time he was here was when he'd gotten
out of jail the second time. He looked at the family picture of
he, Jamal, Andre, and Nichelle on his dresser. He looked at
their smiles as his eyes began to tear up again. He laid back on
the bed with both of his hands covering his face as his mind
went back to the scene..
Just as the officers let him go, Andre grabbed his arm.
Andre. You don't need to see her like this amn.
DeAndre looked at Andre and pulled away from him looking him in
his eye.
DeAndre. That's my mama..
His mind still hadn't accepted that she dealt herself the fatal
blow. As he walked over to her, she was already mostly in a
black bag, and they were wheeling a stretcher over for her. He
glanced inside the car and he saw the gun in the middle console,
and blood was all over the door. Emotions filled his eyes as he
looked down at her body. He could only see her face and chest,
but he took a knee next to her. He touched the side of her face
as she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. With that tears
began to roll from his eyes.
DeAndre. I'm sorry mama.. I was too late... I'm sorry...
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up. Andre was
standing next to him. He finally stood to his feet as they
shared a long hug while the coroners got her body on the
gurney..
...DeAndre heard a loud gunshot and he sprang up from his
relaxed position. His heart was beating fast and his eyes were
wet. He looked at his clock as he wiped his face and saw a
couple hours had passed. He realized he dozed off and he felt
slightly rested. Just as he was getting his mind back together,
his room door opened slowly. Mariah peeped her head around the
corner, but she realized he was awake.. She walked in shutting
the door behind her.
Mariah. Hey baby.. They said you was sleeping..
DeAndre. I just woke up..
She walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around her waist
as he laid his head on her stomach. She rubbed the back of his
head as he closed his eyes.
DeAndre. I seen her.. I seen what she did... But I still don't
wanna believe it.
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#Post#: 899--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: BigBossJay Date: July 13, 2019, 2:16 pm
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Mariah closed her eyes, running her hands over DeAndre's head as
he held onto her tightly.
Mariah. Can I do anything for you, sweetie? You hungry? Thirsty?
DeAndre. I just want my mama.
Mariah felt her heart sink. She wanted to take DeAndre's pain
away, but she knew she couldn't. She knew that no amount of
comforting or food would help him get past it.
Mariah. I'm right here, DeAndre...I'm not going anywhere, baby,
okay?
She felt him nod.
DeAndre. Where the kids?
Mariah. In the backyard, loving on PawPaw.
DeAndre. Did you tell them?
Mariah. I figured you would want to.
He stood up and she continued rubbing his head, watching him.
Mariah. I think your brother's plane just landed, he's on his
way. Everybody else is already downstairs.
He nodded and Mariah held his face.
Mariah. You don't have to go down if you're not ready, baby. I
can bring the kids up here.[/center]
#Post#: 901--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: deHamm Date: July 13, 2019, 3:12 pm
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DeAndre thought about it for a moment and nodded.
DeAndre. Yeah.. Could you please? I really dont wanna be around
everybody right now...
Mariah nodded.
Mariah. I'll be right back...
Just as she went to turn away he grabbed her hand and she looked
back at him.
DeAndre. I love you Mariah...
Mariah. I love you too baby..
He let her hand go and she exited the room.. He paced a little
around the room then he sat back on the bed. He held his head in
his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. He looked up again
as the door opened. He couldn't help but smile as Cade ran into
the room and into his lap.
Cade. Daddy!
Mariah followed behind him holding Brianna in her arms. He
wrapped Cade up in his arms and they hugged each other then he
put Cade on his knee as Mariah took a seat next to him on the
bed.
Cade. I missed you daddy..
DeAndre. I missed you too.... -sigh- I got something to tell you
though..
Cade looked at him with questioning eyes as he saw DeAndre's
serious face.
Cade. Okay daddy...
DeAndre looked over at Brianna as she laid in Mariah's arms
oblivious to the damper mood.
DeAndre. Last night Nana.....
He took a moment trying to keep himself composed, and also
trying to explain to his 3.5 year old the concept of death..
DeAndre. Last night Nana went to sleep... and she went to
heaven..
Cade. Is she coming back?
DeAndre shook his head as a tear fell from his eye..
DeAndre. No... Na. She's not.. But she loved you and your sister
very much... That's what you gotta remember about her...
Alright?
Cade nodded as DeAndre wiped his face of his tears before they
traveled down his cheeks. He held his fingers on his eyes as
Cade wrapped his tiny arms around him.
Cade. Don't cry daddy... She loved you too...
DeAndre nodded with his fingers still pressed on his eyelids.
DeAndre. I know...
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Andre stood on his front porch as he waited for Jamal to arrive.
He had dozed off for maybe an hour, but he dreamed of a memories
they shared and it made him wake up. His mind traveled back to
all of the silly arguments they had, and when she asked for a
divorce. Now it was etched in his mind, and his decisions were
haunting him. "Maybe I shoulda fought harder for out marriage..
Maybe I could have saved you from yourself.."
He sighed as Xayvion's car pulled around. He made his way down
the steps as the passenger door opened and Jamal got out.
Andre opened his arms and Jamal walked right into them as they
hugged each other.
Andre. I'm sorry son..
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#Post#: 902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: BigBossJay Date: July 13, 2019, 4:01 pm
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Cade. Is that why PawPaw sad?
DeAndre. Yeah, baby boy. But, we gon' be okay, right?
Mariah. That's right. Cade, you gon' make sure Daddy stays
smiling?
Without another word, Cade jumped up and began dancing around.
DeAndre laughed and watched as Cade entertained him before he
looked at Mariah.
Mariah. Take your time, baby, we're not going anywhere. Okay?
DeAndre nodded and kissed her as they heard the front door shut.
Mariah. That's probably your brother.
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Jamal sighed as he stepped into the house. He was immediately
greeted by his aunt Monica, wrapping her arms around him
tightly.
Monica. How you feel, baby?
Jamal. I'm okay, auntie. Where's DeAndre?
Monica. He's upstairs with the kids. Is Essence with you?
Jamal. She stayed in Denver. I'm gonna go talk to De.
Before anyone could protest, Jamal made his way up the stairs
and knocked lightly on the bedroom door. It popped open and he
smiled at a grinning Caden.
Cade. Uncle J!
Jamal. Wassup, boy?
Jamal picked him up and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek.
Jamal. You in here singing and dancing?
Caden. Mama wants me to make daddy happy.
Jamal. I'm sure you're doing a good job, too.
Jamal hugged Mariah when she stood up.
Mariah. How you holdin' up?
Jamal. I'm good. You mind if I talk to him?
Mariah shook her head and grabbed Cade's hand.
Mariah. We'll go check on PawPaw. Come on, baby.
Mariah walked out of the room with the kids as Jamal sat down
next to DeAndre on the bed. They sat in silence for a second as
Jamal felt tears welling up in his eyes.
Jamal. Don't lock up on me, man.
DeAndre. What you mean?
Jamal. You don't get to be the strong one, DeAndre.
DeAndre. Don't tell me how to feel right now, Jamal. I ain't
trying to hear you on that.
Jamal looked at DeAndre.
Jamal. I'm just trying to help, De. I know how hurt you are.
DeAndre. You not?
Jamal shrugged.
Jamal. I am, but I expected it...mama was troubled for a long
time, man.[/center]
#Post#: 905--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: deHamm Date: July 13, 2019, 6:14 pm
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DeAndre shook his head as he continued to stare at the space
Cade was just occupying on the floor.
DeAndre. I didn't...
Jamal. I know..
DeAndre. She was supposed to get her shit together man.. Not
fuckin off herself..
His eyes shifted down and he shook his head closing his eyes
putting his fingers to his eyelids again.
Jamal. She been going through shit for a long time.. It wasn't
up for us to fix...
DeAndre. She called me.... Right before she did it...
Jamal. What?
DeAndre pulled out his phone and pulled up his call log from
yesterday.
DeAndre. She called my phone and she left a message... -sniff-
If I would have just answered the phone for her... She would
still be fuckin here..
Jamal. You don't know that De... What'd the message say?
DeAndre. Listen to it..
Since he'd initially listened to the message, he hadn't listened
to it again. He pressed play on his phone and put it on speaker
so they could listen to it together. He put his head in his hand
as the message began to play while he fought waves of anger,
guilt, and sadness as they flushed his mind.
[/center]
#Post#: 907--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: BigBossJay Date: July 13, 2019, 7:43 pm
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Jamal felt his heart tense up when he heard the gunshot. He knew
what was coming, and it still hit him unexpectedly. DeAndre hang
up and Jamal immediately hugged him.
Jamal. Damn...
DeAndre. I should have answered.
Jamal. De, you can't beat yourself up over this, man.
DeAndre. She would have still been here.
Jamal. You don't know that, DeAndre.
DeAndre stood up and sighed, shaking his head.
Jamal. De, mama was sick.
DeAndre. But, she reached out for help! She reached out to me!
Jamal. There wasn't shit you could do, DeAndre, mama was gon' do
that regardless!
DeAndre. You don't know that!
Jamal. How you know she wasn't trying to call you so that you
could hear that shit live?!
DeAndre. Mama wouldn't have done that shit, man.
Jamal. She was depressed, DeAndre, she was gonna do it at some
point...[/center]
#Post#: 910--------------------------------------------------
Re: Love Lost
By: deHamm Date: July 14, 2019, 11:34 am
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DeAndre glared at Jamal for a moment, then he shook his head. He
looked up at a corner in the ceiling as his emotions began to
get the best of him.
DeAndre. All she wanted us to do was fuckin talk to her Jamal!
She wanted her own fuckin kids to talk to her!
Jamal sighed and looked at the floor as DeAndre wiped his face.
Jamal. That's just not the relationship we had! And she made it
like that!
DeAndre. But that's all she fuckin wanted! She may have been
sick, but we aint make that shit no better..... I know I
didn't..
DeAndre heard Jamal sigh.
Jamal. This is fucked up... All our life shit's always been
fucked up... You couldn't control it then just like now..
DeAndre gave another look at Jamal and shook his head.
Jamal. Even if we was the perfect fuckin kids and dad was a
perfect fuckin husband, we would still be sitting right here
feeling like we feeling because it wasn't us.. It was her.
DeAndre shook his head. He wasn't able to wrap his head around
his.
DeAndre. We all played a part...
Jamal. We aint all play apart the last time she tried to pull
this shit. She did it cause she wanted to do it!
DeAndre. Last time?
Before Jamal could say anything, the room door opened and Andre
slid in..
Andre. Why yall in here yelling? I can hear yall downstairs..
DeAndre. Ma tried to kill herself before?
Andre sighed and nodded.
Andre. This would have been her third attempt..
Jamal and DeAndre. Third?!
Andre nodded as DeAndre took a seat back on the bed next to
Jamal.
DeAndre. What you mean third time?
Andre sighed.
Andre. When yall was younger.. She overdosed on pills and we had
to have her stomach pumped... She said it was an accident...
Jamal. Then she tried it again a couple years ago.. She was in
a bath tub..
DeAndre. How you know?
Jamal. Cause I walked in on her...
DeAndre. Where the fuck was I?
Andre. That was back when you was doin time for that assault..
DeAndre frowned at the both of them.
DeAndre. Why yall aint tell me?!
DeAndre watched as Andre and Jamal looked at each other. Before
they could answer, he shook his head and walked out of the room
slamming the door.
Once he made his way down stairs, all eyes fell on him, and
Monica stood up. They made eye contact and he shook his head. He
wasn't in the mood for talking, but since she'd made her way to
him, he accepted the hug she offered. After they released, he
walked out to the backyard taking a seat in a chair as he
watched Mariah and Cade play.
He was just now beginning to understand how sick she was, and he
was beginning to accept that his mother's demise was inevitable.
There was writing all over the wall that he never knew, and now
he was stuck with all of the things he'd never said.
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