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#Post#: 472--------------------------------------------------
The Crimson Tempest
By: MichaelBratton Date: December 16, 2013, 11:55 pm
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Chapter 1 (all finished just gotta make it look purtty)
Beginnings
The man walked through the bloody battlefield in a crimson
soaked tempest of steel. He wielded a massive sword that he
swung with ease. Both sides ran from him in terror as those that
didn't were cut down with ease. This is the scene of many a
battlefield now. This man, “X(dunno yet)” or
“The Crimson Tempest. This is his tale.
X ran out of the city into a small group of trees with his
stolen food, just ahead of the guards. He jumped onto a ladder
hanging down from one of the many trees and yelled “Pull
it up!" The ladder, with X on it, disappeared into the tree just
before the guards got there. One of them yelled up
“We’re gonna get you scamps one of these
times” then left.
Meanwhile up in the tree X said, “Alright Al let’s
get this into the food box.”
Al nodded and they both went across a little
rope to a tree house. X put the food he stole in the box,
“That’s all I can get for today or I'm gonna get
caught”
Al replied grimacing, “Guess that makes it my
turn.”
“Guess so, good luck to you.” X replied with a
laugh
Al nodded and slid down the now lowered ladder. X watched until
Al was in the city then left and headed further into the forest.
He continued on until he found a hut and then followed the
sound of an ax chopping into wood. “Hey, ready to
work?” asked the woodsman.
X said, “Of course I am,” As he thought to himself,
"Another thing to help make me stronger," and started to help
the woodsman
. “Hey, do you think you could start teaching me how to
track?” The woodsman (Jaffar) said with a grin,
“Well if you’re gonna stick around you might as well
learn something out of it.”
X finished cutting, took his money from Jaffar with a words of
thanks, and ran back towards the tree house or, as he liked to
call it, HQ.
He got to one of the trees and waited for one of the other
orphans to come back. He glanced around and saw one he didn't
recognize sneak out of the gates holding something long wrapped
under his cloak and yelled at him "Over here" The kid looked
around startled then ran over towards the tree. X let the ladder
down for him then quickly pulled it back up, “How old are
you" he asked.
The kid said "I am nine, and my name is Mason”
“I am X, I haven’t seen you around yet but you're
a kid so come on in. The others will be here soon” X
replied.
He walked into the tree house with Mason and waited. About
eight more people, including Al, came in. X said, “Alright
we have a bit of food now so we can take a break for a day or
two before we go back into the city. Drop in tomorrow and I'll
set up our next runs.”
Everybody dispersed and X went upstairs “Come on Mason,
we have a bed up here for newcomers” X showed Mason his
bed and said “I’ll be right back”.
X went out of the house and, using a series of vine ropes, got
up into a tree about half a mile away. There was a small
platform and across the way on another tree was a target and
another platform. X took the bow and arrows that were lying on
the first platform and took a deep breath drew the arrow back to
his cheek. He loosed the arrow… but only hit the outer
ring. He thought to himself, "I will get this no matter how long
it takes!" practicing until about midnight, when he finally hit
a bulls eye three times in a row. He retrieved and stored his
arrows, then went back to the tree house and went to sleep.
X was awakened by loud noise. He bolted up out of bed and
started to look around when a sharp pain blossomed at the base
of his neck, bringing him back into unconsciousness. When he
woke up he was bound to a chair. “Look we've had it up to
here with you and your urchins” said the captain of the
guard across from him.
“You and your urchins have finally gone to far, you are
either going to give what you stole back or we will wipe you
out."
“Fine” said X “I’ll get back whatever
it was.”
The captain back handed X across the face before adding,
“Don’t get sassy with me, now throw him out of
here,” the last statement directed towards the other
guards in the room.
X went back and gathered up everyone. "The guard captain says
that one us stole something and if we don't give it back he is
gonna wipe us out, so somebody cough it up!"
X surveyed the room and saw Mason avert his gaze. "We have at
least a day so somebody try to find it" he said in a softer
voice.
As everyone started to leave X said "Mason wait here a moment."
Everyone left until there was only Mason and X left in the
room. "What did you take Mason?"
Mason said "Well... I was walking around town and this person,
he looked like a guard, burst out of a building and left the
door wide open. There was a really pretty sword in there and i
needed some money so I thought I could sell it."
X sighed internally thinking "You can't just sell something
like that."
"Okay" X said "Give me the sword and I’ll get you some
money for it"
Mason nodded and said "Okay."
X gave sigh of relief and told him "Alright just wait here
until I get back."
X went back to the barracks and told the commander "Here is
this sword the thing you were looking for?"
The commander smiled "Yes it is, however I would like you to
consider joining the army, for the good of your friends of
course."
X said angrily "Fine but you have to promise you won't hurt
them!"
The commander smirked and said "Very well, you have my word."
After that X started basic training with the rest of the new
recruits. His work was harder than theirs because "He didn't
have to pass the entrance tests" and was exhausted much of the
time. He demonstrated exceptional skill in all areas. In under 2
months he was selected to take part in a elite training to join
a special unit of soldiers. They trained extensively in the use
of all weapons, specifically in the art of dual wielding,
archery, and stealth so that they could overwhelm their enemies
quickly and quietly, from up close or afar.
To X's great surprise when he came to his new barracks to meet
his squad mates and his commander that the leader of the
squadron that walked in the door was none other than Jaffar, the
woodsman he helped in the forest and who taught him how to track
and survive in the wild
Jaffar gave no sign that he recognized X and warned them that
the training that they would go through would make them the most
important force in the kingdom, but also that it would end up
killing at least half of them(30 members). After this seemingly
rehearsed speech he said in a lighthearted manner "In the
morning you will receive instructions on where to meet for the
days training, try not to die on the way there." with that
Jaffar left.
X immediately starting creating a mental map of the immediate
area and what he would probably need to bring. Everyone began to
socialize except X who was busy preparing. Then person came up
to X and said "Hi my name is Jake, what's yours?"
X said with a bit of bite "I'm X and I am not much for
company."
Jake somehow ignored the warning and kept on going "Do you mind
if I follow you in the morning to our training?"
X sighed "Fine but I'll leave you behind if you slow me done."
Jake smiled and said thanks before going back to unpacking.
#Post#: 476--------------------------------------------------
Re: The crimson tempest
By: Seanmcchapman Date: December 21, 2013, 5:27 pm
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You should read this out loud or make it in to a aduio piece so
no one can steal your story. un less this is a sample of the
rest of the story. (feel free to delete this reply micheal)
#Post#: 477--------------------------------------------------
Re: The crimson tempest
By: MichaelBratton Date: December 23, 2013, 9:03 am
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Its just a sample i am gonna work on basically whenever i get
inspiration.
#Post#: 479--------------------------------------------------
Re: The crimson tempest
By: Seanmcchapman Date: January 6, 2014, 10:33 am
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Sorry But right now was the actually time when I finished what
you just made. It's great! I hope to see more. It reminds me of
Aladan (the disney movie). Hope you get this done and like I'd
like to do for everyone is I would help with the art if you'd
want any?
Promotional art to maybe.
#Post#: 484--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Crimson Tempest
By: MichaelBratton Date: January 14, 2014, 1:14 pm
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I would love to see art for this mainly the opening scene would
be great.
Updated story.
#Post#: 485--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Crimson Tempest
By: MichaelBratton Date: January 14, 2014, 8:50 pm
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Lets call this part two
The
Training
X was awakened by the creak of a floorboard, he was more alert
ever since he was clubbed unconscious back in the tree house.
His eyes briefly flickered open to take in the situation but he
remained still. He waited for what felt like five minutes before
shifting his head to look around. He noticed a paper on the door
that read,"Head east into the forest then follow the path, reach
the end of the path before the sun reaches its peak. The
punishment will be light the first time if you fail but do not
expect this coddling to last. " X looked out the window and saw
that the sun was just starting to rise. He rushed over to Jake's
bed and shook him awake. Jake looked around with bleary
eyes,"Ugh, what the heck man!" "We need to get ready to move
unless you want to get punished on your first day." X said
pointing to the note on the door." X packed up his gear and what
little Jake had while Jake read the note. "Ready to go?" X
asked, "Sure i guess." Jake said. "Alright then follow me!" X
left leading the way. They got to the edge of the forest
before coming to a split in the path heading off in five other
directions! Jake started to head down the middle path, but X put
his hand on Jake's shoulder, stopping him. "What's up?" Jake
asked. X replied "The instructcer warned us not to die on the
way, i dont think he was kidding, and if so the middle path is
probally the most dangerous."
Jake shurrged "whatever man, i'll just follow you."
They followed the path untill they saw a large clearing, Jake
immeditly rushed towards it, but X grabbed his bag and held him
back. "I told you, look at the ground" X said quickly "Doesn't
it look a little off?" "i guess so" Jake said cautously. X
picked up a nearby rock and threw it at the suspicous ground. It
immeditly collasped revealing a short drop to a spike trap. X
said "told ya." "thanks man" jake said gratfully. They went
around the spike trap carefully and went to the clearing, it was
a fairly large space filled with a bunch of equiment. When they
arrived Jaffar came out of the tent and greeted them, "Well it
looks like you two managed to skip out on the punishment and
didn't even die coming here, well done."
NOOOOT DOOONE, but you can look
NOT DONE DONT LOOK >.<
#Post#: 501--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Crimson Tempest
By: MichaelBratton Date: February 10, 2014, 12:49 am
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update
#Post#: 505--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Crimson Tempest
By: Seanmcchapman Date: February 18, 2014, 4:35 pm
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Juicy >:3
I didn't know of updates so when you do them it's hard to tell,
but when they are in different posts it helps. It makes me not
have to look for where you left off... I delete my old responses
to this if they spam the story(Pm letting me know).
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