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       #Post#: 3263--------------------------------------------------
       One Safe Place 
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: May 25, 2017, 11:07 am
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       Summary: There are many lessons to life but sometimes learning
       that parents aren't always right or who you even thought they
       were when you were growing up might just be the hardest part of
       growing older. This, of course is followed very closely by the
       fact that we all must say goodbye to those we love, sometimes
       sooner than we thought. The Sheehan sisters are finding that
       life isn't always cut and dried as they settle their mother's
       final affairs. Headstrong Nora is trying to juggle life on the
       west coast and live up to her mother's expectations, soft
       hearted Colleen is learning that life isn't as rosy as she'd
       hoped and that a back bone is something worth having, and wild
       hearted Fiona is just trying to make sense of everything and
       make her own mark on the world. Together they weather the storm
       of loss, love and redemption back in the house that they were
       raised in while trying to contend with the past that was quietly
       kept from them.
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       #Post#: 3266--------------------------------------------------
       Re: One Safe Place 
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: July 9, 2017, 6:35 pm
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       How many roads you’ve traveled
       How many dreams you’ve chased
       across the sand and sky and gravel
       Looking for one safe place
       One safe place
       When you break you’ll fall from grace
       into the arms of understanding
       looking for one safe place
       Life is trial by fire
       and love’s the sweetest taste
       Now pray it takes us higher
       to one safe place
       Nora
       Much needed rain pattered against the windows around Nora
       Sheehan’s tiny house outside of Santa Cruz. If she strained her
       ears she could hear the waves crashes down off the beach and the
       wind gust over the shoreline. Autumn was coming to her corner of
       California even if the air never got crisp like it did back on
       the East Coast. Her day had taken a turn down the road into the
       same monotony as it always had for the past is years. She had
       come out to the west coast because she thought it was where she
       belonged, right in the spotlight - basking in the ever present
       sunlight and the smiling faces of her fellow West Coasters. That
       had all come to a heart stopping stand still today when she’d
       gotten into work and had ended up pink slipped. It had been
       taped to the brass photo frame that held the last group shot her
       mother had snapped right before she’d left home. Something about
       ‘down sizing their entertainment agent base’ and taking the
       business in a different direction. Meaning Nora was officially
       out of a job once the man she’d been hired to act as a secretary
       for was let go. She wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that
       she’d lied to her family and told them that she was the one with
       that was in the ‘entertainment business’ or the fact that she’d
       been let go without a severance package. True to her headstrong,
       not so laid back New England upbringing she’d called her boss
       out of the line of BS and told him to stuff his down sizing
       spiel right up where the sun don’t shine and that she certainly
       didn’t need his letter of recommendation to Laughlin and Seeger,
       a recruitment firm for the lesser known, less talented ‘talents’
       that populated Hollywood and made up of nearly every
       non-speaking background characters for TV and made of Television
       film. There was no way in hell she was going to start over by
       playing ‘gopher girl’ for a bunch of snobs like them.
       “Col, if you’re calling about that Stay Puft Man dream again it
       can wait until morning, m’kay?”
       A crackle in the air on the line and a shuddering tearful sigh
       sounded across coasts and time lines. The glaring green numbers
       on the bedside clock made Nora’s heart clench and her stomach
       drop. ‘News after 7PM is never ever good news’ she could hear
       her mother’s voice in her head. Something was definitely wrong
       back home in Billport. Colleen might have been a tiny bit
       flighty but she would never have called Nora at 12:45 in the
       morning unless the world was ending. Given the three hour time
       difference it was only 9:45 back home, either way it something
       was catastrophically wrong.
       “Nori it’s Ma…”
       ‘Please let her be okay, please please let her be okay.’
       The eldest Sheehan sister prayed silently to herself as she
       untangled herself from her bedsheets and stumbled over to the
       closet to grab a suitcase as she strained to listen to Colleen’s
       strangled words. The telltale wheezing rasp foretold of an
       anxiety induced asthma attack was right around the corner.
       “Col, you’re hyperventilating. Do you have your inhaler?”
       “Ran…out…after…I…called Fi…”
       Came the reply followed by more wheezing and the shift of the
       telephone. Somewhere in the background Nora could just make out
       the filler noise of St. Mary’s hospital, it was Wednesday and
       she had said she was on call all week in the Triage Unit, a
       switch up from her usual work in either the pediatric or
       maternity wards. They must have rolled Ma in just as Col punched
       in at Billport General. Lord knew the hospital was small enough,
       all you had to do was look down to the main entrance and you’d
       see who was being wheeled in from the nurse’s station.
       “Col, you’re a nurse for God’s sake where’s your back up? What
       happened to Ma?”
       “Can’t get one until six tomorrow morning, pharmacy’s out.
       She’s…had a heart attack. She’s not…she’s not. Nori she’s gone.”
       For one sickening second Nora and Colleen’s collective world
       stopped, all the other could hear was the other on the opposite
       ends of the telephone. Dread, confusion, overwhelming sadness
       washed over both sisters as their world was irrevocably changed.
       “I’m booking a flight out as soon as we hang up.”
       “What about Fi? She’s all the way out in Lowell and who’s…who’s
       gonna get her? I mean…I can go it’s not that long a drive…but
       shouldn’t someone stay…with Ma?”
       Nora ran a slender hand through her riot of wavy dark curls and
       sighed. Deep down she knew that Colleen wouldn’t be okay to
       drive. Not after she’d had a nebulizer treatment and a dose or
       two of her inhaler meds. Colleen was the middle one, the one
       that was shoved out of the way to make way for Nora’s
       accomplishments and Fiona’s needs. Which was why she was always
       the mother hen of their tight knit little family, always making
       sure every one was provided for and putting herself last. She
       was the one with a sense of duty, a true sense of family and why
       she’d never left Billport in her entire life except to commute
       back and forth to Bangor to go to the nursing school there. She
       was the one that went over and checked on Ma no matter the
       weather and did the grocery shopping for her, took care of her
       when she was sick and took on an extra shift or two to help Ma
       cover the bills when money got tight and Fi’s room and board
       fees at Mass Uni were due. Something Nora knew that she should
       have done as she was the eldest but just couldn’t bring herself
       to do because money was tight for her too, hell Colleen was the
       one to quietly wire her money to cover her first phone bill when
       she moved out to Cali and she’d never once let on to Ma. Col was
       also the one to send care packages when they were truly needed
       the most by both Nora and Fiona. For once Nora was stepping up
       to plate and providing for her sister.
       “I’ll book a flight from LA to Boston and I’ll rent a car. I’ll
       get her Col. You…you stay where you are and try and get ahold of
       Jim, okay?”
       More wheezing and then another voice could be heard in the
       background, another nurse maybe? The tell tale hum of a
       nebulizer unit thrummed loudly and then faded for a moment.  Col
       came back on and her breathing wasn’t as labored, she still
       wheezed but she was much easier to understand.
       “O-okay, Nor… love you…and tell Fi I love her too, okay?”
       The sound of her sister’s voice should have calmed her but it
       didn’t. She’d never heard Colleen so lost, Nora could hear the
       hitch in Col’s voice. Words stuck in her throat as she tried to
       form a reply. Instead she simply hummed in response and answered
       with an “Love you too, Col…and I will…you’re right you know. You
       always are.”
       Hurried she packed up her suitcases with numb hands, knowing
       deep down that she wouldn’t be coming back. Thank God her lease
       was up at the end of month she yanked the house key from her key
       ring and sighed as she mulled things over. She’d come this far
       in her life only to realize that she never should have left
       Maine behind. If she’d stayed maybe things wouldn’t have
       happened like they did.  So much for being the eldest sister,
       the crowning achievement, the self assured one, the one with her
       **** together and if Ma knew she was anything but she knew she’d
       have her ass handed to her on a silver platter.
       Her thoughts drifted back to Ma, all alone in that rambling old
       cottage off of King Lane. The white clapboards peeling and the
       cornflower blue window panes bleached by the sun into the blue
       that matched her eyes. There had been much debate two years ago
       when Ma had called to tell her that she’d finally been convinced
       to paint everything white. Nora could almost smell the salt air
       that was so different than the air here on the west coast. She
       missed it’s tang and brashness as the winds changed with the
       tide below the rocky cliff line that was at the edge of the
       backyard just past the clothesline and the huge oak tree that
       housed a treehouse and the old tire swing both built lovingly by
       their Dad, Jim before their parents divorced and he moved over
       to Bangor full time. Their mother, Eileen was their touchstone,
       a mixture of hard edges and soft down, her backbone was made of
       steel; her outer shell almost impenetrable hiding her heart of
       gold. Something all three girls inherited in their own way.
       There was no way that she could truly be gone. They’d talked
       only last week and she had sounded just fine. She’d talked about
       her day and what she planned on doing for the weekend; the usual
       go over to Shaw’s and pick up odds and ends for dinner and then
       head over the church for bingo night. The pot had been up into
       the hundreds and it was for a good cause then on Saturday she
       planned on heading over to the St. Mary’s soup kitchen to
       volunteer. Sunday was always the same, up at dawn to pick up the
       house and get ready for church and then go to the ladies
       auxiliary meeting and meet up with Colleen for dinner after
       she’d gotten off work. Ma never seemed to want more than that,
       happy with her lot given she lived as average a life as any
       other Billport lady of a certain age. “Fifty-one for the last
       two years”
       Ma would have said in that chuffed little lilting accent of hers
       that the girls had inherited as well even though Nora had done
       her damnedest to drop. Fiona’s had morphed into the spectrum of
       Maine and Massachusetts while Col’s had stayed ever the same
       much like the woman herself. Nimble fingers dialed the the
       number she’d memorized during her secretarial tenure.
       ‘Tradewinds Air, this is Thelma speaking how may I help you
       today?”
       “Hello, I’d like to book the first none stop to Boston please.
       Immediately.”
       Fiona
       “Great, it’s only a little after seven and here I am locking
       myself away from all the fun.”
       Cackles and whoops filled the dorm as the bass thudded somewhere
       downstairs. The air was rife with the scent of pot and cigarette
       smoke as a hundred or so U Mass college kids milled about moving
       to the music, trying to put the make on one another or get so
       plastered they could barely remember their own names. Fiona
       Sheehan, however,  was not one of them. Holed up in the room
       that was rightfully hers tonight she attempted to study for her
       last two finals before the semester let out for the summer. She
       had a feeling that she had aced her Psychics, Psych and her
       Women’s Lib finals but her English Classics and her Journalism
       Ethics were the ones that were given her the most grief at the
       moment. Professor Denny, as cool and far out as he was was tough
       one when it came to grading, particularly on the Don Quixote
       material and Gardner was even more brutal when it came to the
       subject of finals essays, the topics were always unknown until
       the day of. Despite being a strict B and moderately high C
       student with a mind for many subjects when they interested her
       she yet to actually choose a major she felt comfortable enough
       with dedicating her life to. Nora had been a communications
       major when she’d gone to Wiltshire University just twenty
       minutes from home. Colleen had known right from her Freshman
       year of high school that she had wanted to be a nurse and true
       to form she enrolled in Bangor school of Nursing, graduating
       with honors four years later. Her sisters had always known what
       they had wanted to do, always had a plan. Fiona, meanwhile still
       had her heart set on marrying a rockstar and following her
       favorite bands around the country, just going with the flow. Ma
       had put the kibosh on her cross country trek to follow Quigley’s
       Bloom on tour and the mere idea of moving out to Seattle to
       experience the grunge scene was dead in the water so she’d
       dragged her feet for a year or so and then enrolled at the only
       place that would take her, U-Mass and hoped that would make Ma
       happy. It hadn’t. Nearly two and half years in and still telling
       her mother that she was still undecided left an odd taste in her
       mouth and a sinking feeling all around her. She was nearly three
       hours away from home give or take and Fiona still felt like she
       wasn’t far enough.
       “God, for a two hundred dollar textbook you’d think the table of
       contents would be laid out better.”
       She muttered to herself before she reached for her pile of notes
       and her neon highlighter. Carefully tracing bright pink lines
       over the section of legal pad she needed Fiona observed her work
       and sighed before re-reading the passage one last time and
       praying to the all mighty academic gods that it would meld into
       her brain before her 9AM final tomorrow morning. The steady
       thrum of what sounded like Soundgarden pounded up through the
       floor. Heaving one last sigh she plodded on, only half wishing
       she was downstairs perfecting her keg stand abilities and
       showing every one up with her kickass beer pong talents.
       Somewhere between cramming ancient names of writers she’d never
       read again and outdated psych theories into her already aching
       head she must have nodded off. A solid thump from the other side
       of the worn oak door plastered with posters and fashion ads she
       heard her name being called. It couldn’t have been Jenny the RA,
       last Fiona knew she was downstairs overseeing the keg
       placements.
       “Sheehan open up, you’ve got a phone call and it’s important.”
       Checking the clock on her nightstand she noticed that it was
       only 8:30. Running a hand through her tangled red locks she
       stretched and reached for the phone perched on the desk and
       pressed the flashing button for line two.
       “ I got it, ‘lo?”
       For a split second she thought she was being pranked because the
       noises on the other end of the phone sounded downright
       animalistic. The background noise only gave away the location as
       a hospital.
       “F..Fiona.”
       Colleen. Her voice hoarse and a wheeze creeping into her chest
       Fiona’s stomach clenched as she broke out into a cold sweat.
       Colleen only called on Saturday evenings at six on the dot. It
       was Tuesday. She’d just gotten Col’s last care package from home
       and the cranberry hermit cookies sat in the cheery little tin
       they always came shipped in with a little note telling her that
       Col and Ma loved her and to remember to call and let them know
       when term was over so Col could come and pick her up.
       “Colly? Are you okay?”
       More sobs, those gut wrenching sobs that Fiona had only heard
       once before and prayed she’d never ever hear from her sister
       ever again.
       “Fiona..Ma…”
       A rasping breath in and then shakily let out as Colleen tried to
       calm herself into forming coherent sentences. The line crackled
       as her sister shifted the phone for a moment. Fiona’s own heart
       was beating a million miles a minute and her mind zipping to
       each and every horrible possibility.
       “Ma’s heart gave out, Fi…”
       Sinking whirling dread formed a poisonous ball in Fiona’s belly.
       Shaking her head as she felt the familiar burn of tears behind
       her eyes.
       “No, Doctor Wagner just refilled her medication. You called last
       week and told me, Colly.”
       “She was down at the church helping set up for the bingo night
       and she collapsed..”
       “But the church is like, what? Seven miles from the hospital?
       Can’t they put her on a respirator or a machine or something?”
       “They did everything they could, Fi.”
       “No they didn’t! If they did she’d still be here! Why didn’t you
       help her? How could you just let her die?!”
       Hurling the receiver away and then picking it up once more just
       to slam it down into the cradle, once, twice, three times.
       Hoping every time that this was some sick demented dream she was
       having from too many late nights spent studying and too much pot
       on the weekends. She found herself on her feet and grabbing all
       the clothes she could, dirty, clean it didn’t matter they all
       went into her worn duffel bag. A swirl of memories flooded her
       mind as she sank down on her knees as she reached under her bed
       for the last of her clothes. Somehow they’d always ended up
       under there and she was never why.
       ‘Fiona Marie Sheehan you are the Queen of the dust bunnies, you
       know that?’
       She could hear Ma saying as she let out a little laugh with a
       shake of her head.
       In an instant Fiona found herself curled into a ball next to her
       duffel unable to cry. instead she rocked herself and hummed a
       melody from her childhood. Something about ships and seabirds.
       It always sounded so much nicer when Ma sang it though, now it
       sounded sadder, colder, foreign.
       Colleen
       “Well I don’t see why I need to be kept for observation. I’m
       fine, really. It was only a little tumble.”
       Colleen, or as she was known to her patients as Nurse Sheehan,
       arched a dark brow and kept her steady green gaze on the elderly
       woman, Mrs. Evie Williams from just around the lane over at
       Col’s mother’s place. A sudden dizzy spell had sent the old
       woman into a tumble down the last three stairs of her rambling
       old victorian and here she was, a few superficial scrapes and a
       bruised ego to go along with a night hold for observation
       because of the goose egg that was forming on her wrinkled
       forehead.
       “I know it was but Mrs. Williams we’ve got to keep you just in
       case. Hey, think of it this way, you’ve got cable and staff at
       your beck and call. Can’t get much better than that can it?”
       Mrs. Williams’ face brightened as she mulled over the thought of
       having someone to wait on her hand and food and rewarded Colleen
       with a small smile.
       “I suppose you’re right, dear.”
       Colleen returned the smile as she did a final check of the
       woman’s vitals and fluffed her pillows and covered her with a
       light blanket.
       “Alright, I think you’re set for the night but if you need
       anything press the green button on the side of the bed, okay?”
       Mrs. Williams nodded before settling back and clicking on the
       television to catch the tail end of some game show promising
       heaps of cash for trivia knowledge. Heaving a sigh as she closed
       the door to room 143 Colleen checked her watch. Seven
       forty-five. Nearly time for her dinner hour and then another
       eleven hours to go before a week off. God, the laundry she had
       to do when she got home. Not to mention the grocery shopping.
       Eh, they could wait until the tomorrow anyway. She had decided
       as she sat down for a quiet moment to double check the various
       charts that were left to pile up at the nurse’s station. She was
       half way through a double check of the prescribed medications
       for three different patients when she heard a call come over
       radio from local EMT branch. Female. early fifties. cardiac
       infarction be on stand by. It wasn’t uncommon for heart attacks
       to happen but something in the pit of Colleen’s stomach told her
       to ask the location from which the patient was coming from and
       when Susan, the other nurse working the shift with Colleen had
       told her from the church she felt a knot form. Billport was tiny
       and there was only one church in the entire town. St. Mary’s. Of
       which the local soup kitchen had taken it’s name.
       ‘Please don’t let it be Ma. Please please please don’t let it be
       Ma.’
       Colleen found herself praying as she saw the flashing red and
       blue lights flare up out front and a flurry of sound and
       movement overwhelmed her. Billport General, or as it was now
       known, County Home Hospital, was a tiny but well equipped
       hospital that had treated it’s fair share of major emergencies
       since it served not only Billport but three other counties
       neighboring the town. At this very moment it’s head charge nurse
       was beside herself when she spotted a familiar shock of blonde
       bouffant laid out on the gurney having her vitals taken. They
       still couldn’t get a steady reading and she was now officially
       rushed into a private triage suite as the OR was being prepped.
       Familiar brown eyes met hers as she stood there shaking trying
       to grasp her mother’s wrist to read a pulse. For one sickening
       second she couldn’t find it. Watching with tear dimmed eyes as
       her colleagues tried their best to do their jobs, what she
       should be able to do, Colleen felt lost.
       “Colleen. Colleen. Nurse Sheehan. I’ve got to ask you to step
       out.”
       She knew those eyes but for a split second she couldn’t place
       them in the fog that had drifted into her mind. She recognized
       the calm voice. The kind boyish face that was framed with a
       carefully coiffed thick head of chestnut colored hair. Jerry.
       Dr. Houseman. The transplant from Vermont. He’d been working
       their for the past four years and he was still razzed by the
       locals as being a “newbie.” A quiet amicable friendship had
       formed between the two of them after the last full moon Saturday
       night when it seemed like every emergency in the state of Maine
       was occurring in their backyard.
       “But she’s my mother. I have to…”
       “No, no you don’t. Policy says we can’t let you.”
       With that he gently escorted her out into the waiting area and
       went back into the triage suite to do his very best to get her
       mother stable. A steady flat beep sounded and a barking order
       for a crash cart sounded but Colleen was oblivious to it. She’d
       seen her fair share of flat lines and knew that more often then
       not they weren’t able to be saved no matter how experienced or
       qualified you were to try and revive them. Seven times they
       tried only to have that steady beep fill the room. Nothing could
       be done. Eileen Sheehan was gone and her middle daughter didn’t
       need to be told twice as she heard the time being called. She’d
       always hated that part. Jerry was sitting next to her explaining
       what had happened and what they had tried but it hadn’t taken.
       Colleen nodded as she felt the familiar tightening in her own
       chest. Wheezing filled her ears as tears welled up in her eyes.
       Jerry had gone from holding and patting her hand to pulling her
       in for a hug, consoling her just as she had done for him a year
       earlier when he’d gotten the phone call about his grandfather.
       The smell of his aftershave and murmurings of reassurance didn’t
       do much to console her but she thanked him anyway as she tried
       to compose herself as best she could before reaching for the
       inhaler in the pocket of her baby pink scrubs. She hadn’t taken
       note of the measured doses and soon found her heart hammering
       against her ribs as she tried to dial her younger sister Fiona
       who was away at college. Two rings turned to three and just as
       she was about to hang up someone, not Fiona, answered.
       “May I speak to Fiona Sheehan, please? It’s her sister…and it’s
       an..
       What was it? An emergency? Ma was gone. But yes, it was still a
       family emergency.
       “It’s a family emergency.”
       The thrum of the line clicked and whirred reminding Colleen of
       all those harsh winters when all three girls lived at home. They
       always marvel at the height of the snow and thrill of being
       bundled up and running head long into it. The wind stinging
       their cheeks a brilliant shade of red as they zipped down
       McCavish Hill which was right to the left of the property they
       called home. They’d spent hours and hours outside and never
       tired of the endless snowball fights and having to lug the
       toboggan back up the hill, usually with Fi on the back because
       she had always been so tiny and Ma had always told them that
       they needed to watch out of her.
       “It’s what sisters do, y’know?”
       She’d said as she had bundled Nora and then Colleen tightly into
       their winter jackets and snow pants, wrapping handmade scarves
       around their necks and fastening mittens and plopping hats onto
       their heads. They had nodded and each given her a hug before
       darting out the door.
       “ ‘Lo?”
       Colleen was snapped out of her revery at the sound of her
       younger sister’s voice.  She was willing herself not to cry. But
       the lump in her throat betrayed her as her voice hitched.
       “F-fiona. It’s Ma…”
       Colleen’s heart was pounding so hard she was almost positive
       that Fiona could hear it through the phone all the way in
       Boston. How the hell did you tell your sister that your mother
       was dead?
       “Is she okay? Did she fall or something?”
       “No…Fi…Ma’s heart gave out.”
       A flurry of obscenities could be heard as Colleen held the
       receiver away from her ear. Each word cutting her deeper and
       deeper. She knew she would have reacted the same way had it been
       her in Fiona’s shoes, if she was without medical training.
       “Fi, they did everything they could. Nothing..could be done.”
       “No they didn’t! You’re a nurse, Colleen! You should have known
       what to do and you let her die! How could you?!”
       Fiona’s words deafened her, her mind spun and then there was a
       bang. The line went dead and the prerecorded operator’s message
       came on asking her to hang up and try again.  Numbly she reached
       for the disconnect and pushed it before dialing her oldest
       sister. After a five minute phone conversation Noreen had been
       much more understanding, Colleen hadn’t thought she would be for
       some reason but she was.It hadn’t helped that given the stress
       of the situation Colleen had nearly turned blue on the phone.
       Her asthma had kicked in and now she sat listening to her eldest
       sister make plans to pick up Fiona once her plane landed.
       “Nori, you’ve gotta call her…she hung up on me and…I think she
       hates me…”
       A pause in the shift of Noreen’s phone.
       “Oh Col, don’t say that. You know how Fi handles stress, she’s
       in shock that’s all.”
       Wiping her eyes with the tissue Jerry had offered her, why he
       was still there she’d never know, and sighed.
       “I tried to tell her they did everything they could but…you know
       Fi, she wouldn’t listen. You want me to call Jim or do you wanna
       do it?”
       Colleen sounded weary, even to herself and Noreen agreed.
       Perhaps it was for the best if Col reached out to their father,
       after all the eldest daughter and their father weren’t on great
       speaking terms as it was.
       “I’ll be…where the hell will I be?”
       Colleen stopped for a moment and thought over her schedule. Her
       mind felt sluggish and her heart heavy.  Checking the clock she
       sighed. She’d be home.
       “I’ll be home, my place I mean.”
       “You moved out of Ma’s?”
       “Yeah, about seven months ago. Check the notecard I sent you
       last week, it’s got my new number on it.”
       Noreen shuffled through her papers and found it with a chuckle.
       “Got it and I never did say thank you for those brownies you
       sent..or the check to cover my phone bill and groceries. You
       never did tell Ma did you?”
       “Hell no, she’d had smacked me into next week. I love you, Nori.
       Safe travels, okay? and…tell Fi I love her?”
       Noreen shifted the phone one final time and said she would.
       “Love you too, Colly. Fi does too.”
       One final goodbye and Colleen was left sidelined as the hustle
       and bustle of the hospital continued around her, she’d never
       felt more like an outsider then in that moment. Eyes swimming
       with tears she found her feet and went into the room where her
       mother’s body was. Unhooked from machines and covered with a
       stark white sheet. Reaching out to uncover her face she could
       have screamed. That wasn’t Ma’s face. It looked to drawn, old.
       She looked for a split second like she sleeping as Colleen
       reached out to hold her hand one last time.
       “I’m sorry, Ma. I’m so sorry.”
       Tears slid down her cheeks as she brushed back the stray hair
       from her mother’s face, much like Eileen used to do for her when
       she was small. Their nightly ritual Ma had called it as she’d
       tucked each of the girls in for the night. She was startled at
       how cool her mother’s forehead felt. She knew it would happen
       but not this quickly.
       An arm wrapped itself around her shoulder as she was led away
       from the tiny bed.
       “You haven nothing to be sorry for, Colleen. Nothing.”
       Jerry again, kind brown eyes tinged with sorrow as he eased her
       into the staff lounge and poured her a cup of fresh tea. She
       watched him put in a generous dollop of honey and a squeeze of
       lemon. How in the world has he known she preferred tea over
       coffee let alone the ratios of lemon to honey? Curious man that
       Jerry Houseman.
       “Thanks.”
       He plopped himself down across from her, his own steaming cup of
       tea set in front of him. Taking a sip he grimaced as he got a
       mouthful of coffee grounds.
       “That’s why I’m glad I’m a tea fan. You’ve got some grounds in
       your teeth.”
       Colleen said as she passed him a napkin and collected his cup
       getting up to start a fresh pot.
       “I’m so sorry about you mother…if there’s anything you need…”
       He was first to offer his condolences to her, not Stevens who
       had done the chest compressions and barked out orders. Stevens
       always had been a **** but Colleen had never voice her opinion.
       Lump forming in her throat and her eyes welling up again she
       nodded her thanks.
       “Thanks, Dr. Houseman.”
       “It’s Jerry, Colleen.”
       “Thanks, Jerry.”
       The light on the coffeemaker blinked and the carafe filled.
       Pouring him a cup as he had done for her she carefully stirred
       in three sugars and handed it to him with another nod of thanks.
       “I think I’ll be punching out…I’ve got a few more phone calls to
       make and I’m pretty sure Jim’s not going to have anything
       remotely nice to say about my mother. So I’d do better taking
       that sort of verbal abuse in private.”
       Jerry had nodded. He remembered her telling him all about Jimmy
       Sheehan when she’d driven him clear across three states when
       he’s gotten the news of his grandfather’s passing last year. It
       was then that he had realized just how different their lives had
       been. He’d been raised in a liberal Jewish household in the the
       inner city and she  and her sisters had been raised in a staunch
       Catholic place where as a children they were encouraged to go
       out and brave the natural world teeming with greenery and
       postcard like vistas. But sadly her father had ruled her young
       life with an iron fist and verbal abuse. It hadn’t helped that
       he’d like to drink. Well, until her mother had not so quietly
       put her foot down and divorced him. Throwing him out into the
       middle of the street and threatening to castrate him if he ever
       set foot on her front porch ever again. Despite all that
       Colleen’s life had molded her into a deeply compassionate
       person. She had found herself totally immersed in a world of
       mourning that wasn’t like her own and had even joined him in
       sitting Shiva with his family. She had driven him back a week
       later and then made a charitable contribution in granddad’s name
       not three days later to a synagogue over in Bangor. Jerry’s mind
       still boggled at that. No one could be truly be that nice, could
       they?
       “If he gets too mouthy just hang up. You and your sisters don’t
       need that. Not now.”
       Patting him on the shoulder one final time Colleen nodded.
       “I’ll keep that in mind and thank you…for everything.”
       Not ten minutes later Jerry Houseman watched the dark-haired
       nurse walk out the front entrance and out to her car as the sun
       peeked over the horizon. He kicked himself and silently gave the
       finger to fate. He had just gotten up the stones enough to
       actually ask Colleen out and here she was dealing with her
       mother’s untimely demise. He had met Eileen Sheehan numerous
       times and had immediately taken a liking to the older woman. She
       was a spitfire with a compassionate heart. She’d always ask him
       how his mother was and if he’d been eating enough. When Colleen
       had first introduced them to one another she had invited him
       over to her cottage for a proper home cooked meal, he had taken
       her up on the offer and was surprised to find an honest to God
       pot roast with potatoes and gravy awaiting him. She had given
       him a wink and said that he could use some fattening up and that
       she hoped everything was to his liking. Every day after that
       Colleen would drop familiar Tupperware containers into the
       fridge marked strictly  for him to take home.
       “She’s like everybody’s Mom around here.”
       Colleen had said only last week as she had dropped off a tray of
       homemade cookies to the nurse’s station. Turning back to go
       finish his rounds he passed the tiny dimly lit room and saw two
       orderlies carefully moving the sheet covered form and he felt a
       twinge in his own chest.
       “I’ll take her down, Greg.”
       He’d said to the taller greying orderly as they moved her to the
       gurney.  Silently he walked Eileen to the basement level. Once
       there in front of door seven he sighed.
       “You were one hell of a lady, Ms. Sheehan. You’re going to be
       missed more then you'll ever know. Baruch dayan ha’emet.”
       Gently he eased her into the cooler unit and shut the door
       softly pausing only to wipe stray tears from his eyes.
       #Post#: 3270--------------------------------------------------
       Re: One Safe Place 
   DIR By: Wolfy
       Date: July 25, 2017, 12:12 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Uh, you know, I read this the night before I came back from my
       holiday, but hadn't been able to post anything while I was away
       which really sucked. I have never felt so much emotion when
       reading a piece like this, to the point where I ended up in a
       ball of tears at the corner of my bed because I was so
       overwhelmed. It was one powerful blow after another, but so
       beautifully worded that I couldn't possibly find any fault in
       that at all. I live for stories that can ignite that sort of
       blazing flame inside of me while I'm reading and feeling
       everything that the characters do, and it's such a lovely
       experience. You are able so well to write in that style and I
       see that clear as day every single time you posted a new piece;
       especially the ones of loss and mourning. Your stories featuring
       Jackie are especially heart-wrenching, but this one as a
       standalone backstory for Colleen and her family is just as tough
       at tugging on the heart strings and really having a good old
       pull at them. If I had a star system on this forum, I would be
       giving you the highest of ratings for this and thanking you for
       writing it, really, because this has come from such a deep place
       and must have been just as difficult to write as it was to read.
       Absolutely a fantastic bit of fiction and I have never been
       quite that moved before.
       *****************************************************
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