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       #Post#: 3233--------------------------------------------------
       Dark Angel
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: March 13, 2017, 11:16 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       A/N: This came all thanks to a tiny what if that played in the
       back of my mind. What if Terry hadn't been the one to kill
       Frank? Please let it be known I mean no infringement upon any
       written or filmed work. I make nothing from writing and posting
       this.  I didn't feel right putting it in the Tiny Tales and I
       may add more to it later on, or if you would like to add go
       right ahead, you've got my full blessing.
  HTML https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3740/33390029646_38ff6104a8_n.jpg
       Theme:
  HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7bjXWzms5I
       “Yeah, I was thinkin’ of maybe you, me, a bottle of wine and
       some take out from that place you like..”
       Colleen’s face broke into a sunny smile as Jackie seemingly
       planned out their entire weekend, complete with naps. It was a
       rare occurrence for both of them to actually have free time to
       devote to the upkeep of their relationship and it was nice. It
       was usually meeting up for drinks and a quickie out back behind
       the Old Towne before they had to scurry on their own ways. Her
       to her night shift job at Beth Israel and him, well he was off
       running ‘errands’ for his brother. They shared an apartment but
       it was still in a state of moving in, two years later.
       “Sounds nice…”
       She murmured as she curled into his side almost nodding off to
       the steady thrum of his heartbeat. There was an unspoken rule
       between them, they never brought up what he did for Frank. Ever.
       Jackie didn’t like to dwell on it and Colleen couldn’t wrap her
       mind around it at all so she never questioned it. His fingers
       stroked a pattern along her arm as his left hand tangled itself
       in her hair.
       “You keep that up and your entire plan is going to go right out
       the damn window.”
       She sighed as she opened her eyes and gazed at his face. This
       was side of him that no one else got to see. Calm and content.
       Gone was the spit fire, the joker, the partier. Right now he was
       simply hers. Her Jackie. She sometimes felt selfish for having
       to share him with the world but Jackie was and always had been a
       people person. But there was something beneath all those layers,
       the masks he wore, that people never quite got a glimpse of. He
       had an edge, a fury to him.  But at this moment in time as he
       lay there with her in a sea of white linen and bathed in hazy
       springtime morning light he looked like something created by the
       arch angels themselves, she sometimes wondered if he wasn’t
       actually an archangel sent to earth himself. He caught her
       staring and smirked, the joker popping out for a moment.
       “Take a picture, it’ll last longer, babe.”
       He kissed the top of her head and she hugged him as he got up
       and reached over to the bedside table for his cigarettes. The
       tell tale snick of his lighter bringing forth it’s unwavering
       wind resistant flame. She could still remember the Christmas
       she’d bought it for him, it had taken her nearly four months
       wages but she’d done it and had it engraved. ‘Chun an coimeádaí
       mo chroí- love Colleen.’ with a Claddagh engraved on the reverse
       side. It hadn’t been much but he was over the moon about it. She
       noticed that when he was particularly nervous he took to rubbing
       his thumb over those words as he stared off into space. She
       couldn’t count how many times he had come home banged up and
       broken, his usually dancing blue eyes completely not his own.
       They had looked colder, harder, utterly terrifying as she had
       patched him up knowing better than to ask him what he had seen
       let alone what he had done. She knew he wouldn’t answer her
       anyway, just shake his head and set his jaw. It was all for
       Frank. Everything was for Frank. But Colleen never once
       mentioned that to Jackie, it would break his heart and she knew
       she would die without him.  So, she had relented and kept her
       mouth shut. and she prayed, oh how she prayed. But sometimes
       prayers and conversations with the Holy Father just aren’t
       enough.
       “Come on Jackie, step up one more step and we’re home free.”
       Colleen coaxed as hefted a drunken mumbling Jackie towards the
       apartment that still bore the stages of moving in four years on.
       Jackie hadn’t been the same since Stevie died. She’d lost count
       how many times she’d gotten a call from Father McKenna asking
       her to please stop by the church on her way home from work to
       pick up Jackie. He’d tie one on down at the Old Towne and then
       want to make Stevie a saint. She just didn’t have the heart to
       tell Jackie that that wasn’t how saints were made. She honestly
       had never seen him so low, didn’t think it possible. She had
       tried to bait him out of the apartment, dinners out, weekend
       trips upstate. Nothing took but when that phone rang and it was
       Frank he took off like a shot. It was like he lived for what he
       did. Colleen didn’t think he could sink any lower but one quiet
       February evening the phone rang. Jackie and Colleen had settled
       in and were sound asleep as the phone brought them back to the
       land of the living. She had forgotten that they had both been
       put down as emergency contacts for Terry. A drug bust gone wrong
       and two shots fired. Terry Noonan was no longer of this earth
       and all Colleen could do was watch as Jackie’s world collapsed
       in on itself. He longer was the smiling laughing man he once
       was. He still loved her, still held her, but something in his
       soul died that cold winter night along with Terry.
       He’d go on a bender and she wouldn’t see him for days, even
       weeks at a time. He’d come give her a rare smile, one that
       didn’t quite reach his eyes, a kiss and then retire to their
       bedroom telling her to wake him if Frank called. Frank always
       called, no matter how hard she prayed that he wouldn’t, he
       always did.
       Gone were the days of them spending idle weekends at home or out
       and about seeing the city they had grown up and fell in love in.
       “Hey, I’ll see you Tuesday, Babe. Gotta go Upstate to help
       Frank. Shouldn’t take me long.”
       Rolling over closer to him she was startled as he was already up
       and out of bed.
       “I love  you!”
       She called but the end of her sentence was accented with only
       the sound of the apartment door slamming. He was gone in a cloud
       of aftershave, gun oil, and cigarette smoke. The plumes of smoke
       hanging in the air like cathedral incense as Colleen begged the
       Lord and to Saint Christopher to keep him safe for her. Her
       prayers fell on deaf ears as she found herself working a double
       shift in the ER, drafted from the maternity ward as it was a
       full moon and they were swamped.
       “Unidentified white male. Multiple gunshot wounds, one to the
       chest, one to the throat. Stats are dropping and he’s
       unresponsive.”
       The gurney swept passed her in a flurry of movement. All she saw
       was a limp hand hanging over the side and a streak of blood
       dripping on the floor and something else. She’d almost stepped
       on it in her haste to jot down a chart on the John Doe. Square.
       Metal. A lighter. Grabbing a wet wipe from the dispenser on the
       wall and a small plastic belongings baggie from the nurse’s desk
       she gingerly picked it up. Noticing it was engraved she wiped
       away the sticky crimson strains that were threatening to set. A
       Claddagh. Turning it over she wiped at it, her heart pounding
       but the blood cold in her veins.
       ‘Chun an coimeádaí mo chroí.’
       Colleen was bewildered as she heard a scream. Why was everyone
       looking at her? The metal in her hand felt like a lead weight as
       she tried to fling it away from herself, for some reason she
       couldn’t let it go. She had to go. Had to see.
       ‘Why?’
       The little voice in the back of her mind asked her as she
       sprinted down the drab hallways and into the triage area.
       Crimson stains smeared across the stark white sterile tile amid
       failed tubes and bloody gloves. A crime scene in and of itself.
       Along with a cacophony of sound, beeping and then a shrill
       shriek of nothingness.
       “Call it. John Doe expired at 4:46 AM.”
       Heart sinking into her stomach, her mind reeling as she elbowed
       through the crowd of colleagues. Dark brown hair spread out on
       the gurney, leather ripped to shreds, and blue eyes that no
       longer gazed out at the world.
       “Check his wallet! Please check for his wallet!”
       Who the hell was that screaming woman and why was she begging
       them to check for a wallet?
       “Jack Flannery. West Bank. 11th Avenue apartment 10B, Clinton
       Avenue.”
       More screaming. Why didn’t someone get that woman out of there?
       How did she know Jackie anyway?  It was her. She was  the one
       screaming, just as she had been the one screaming about the
       wallet and in the entry way clutching that lighter. Reaching out
       with shaking hands she smoothed his hair back. How could you
       know someone for over sixteen years and not know them now? This
       wasn’t the man she’d slept next to for the last ten. The man she
       loved wasn’t covered in blood and staring off into the air. Her
       Jackie was alive. Sobs wracked through her as she rested her
       head against his chest and listened for the familiar thrum.
       She’d know that sound anywhere, it had put her to sleep and
       eased her fears for a decade if not longer. He couldn’t be gone.
       He couldn’t leave her, not now. Not ever. Be he had.
       “Come on Colleen, let’s get you cleaned up.”
       Maria, one of her fellow night nurses from maternity ward had
       come over to her, trying to lead her away. Shaking her almost
       violently Colleen let out a feral snarl.
       “No! I can’t. I won’t. He can’t be alone. Not now. Not now…”
       One of the interns had the audacity to remark about who she
       thought she was.
       “She’s his wife, Crenshaw. They only got married a year ago.”
       Colleen stayed with him until, tending to the superficial marks
       and cleaning, not trusting the other staff to do it. It was as
       if she’d blinked and the next thing she knew Kathleen and his
       mother Agnes were there both too shell shocked to say a word,
       both blinking back tears as if they’d somehow known that this
       day would come. That nasty little voice in the back of her mind
       sounded again.
       ‘So did you, Colleen.’
       For the longest time she couldn’t place why the voice had
       sounded so familiar. Nearly two hours later the voice had a face
       and it was standing in the flesh at the end of the bed in that
       dimly lit hospital morgue. Kathleen and Agnes had taken it upon
       themselves to contact Father McKenna.
       “It’s a shame really. I told him that the plans had changed, he
       never really was one to listen.”
       Sadistic ice blue eyes bore into Colleen very soul as she felt
       her heart stop for the second time that day. She could have
       sworn that he was about to smile. It was her eyes playing tricks
       on her, she was sure of it.
       “All brawn no brains. Nothin’ but a trigger man.”
       A small cold smile played at his lips as he looked at her again.
       “I suppose you wanna still make him saint anyway though, right
       Colleen? Just like he did with your cousin Stevie. Terry too.
       What’d they used to call you four? The Musketeers? Stupid if you
       ask me. There were only three of them.”
       Colleen stared into space as she felt a hand snake itself over
       her shoulders, gently to move the long dark hair that had fallen
       out of it’s pony tail holder. Here he stood, living and
       breathing and yet he was as cold as a corpse. Frank Flannery was
       nothing but a monster. Her hand bumped something deep in her
       smock pocket.
       “Doesn’t have to be that way, y’know. You and I could arrange
       some sort of agreement.”
       Fighting back the bile that was rising up into her throat
       Colleen turned toward him, staring into his eyes one final time.
       “Whatta say, Colleen? I could treat you better than Jackie ever
       could.”
       A swift jerk of her right hand and a pinprick to his jugular
       were all it took as she pressed the empty needle's plunger down.
       Before the air bubbled claimed him the last thing he heard were
       the words of the dark haired green eyed woman standing before
       him as a sort of dark avenging angel sent from the heavenly
       father himself to make him atone for his sins. Frank Flannery
       had met his end at the hand of the woman his brother had loved
       more than life itself.
       “All for one and one for all.”
       
       #Post#: 3234--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dark Angel
   DIR By: Wolfy
       Date: March 14, 2017, 7:32 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Wow, honestly, I really would like for the ending of State Of
       Grace to be rewritten so this can be added in there somehow. I
       didn't think I could cry any more over Jackie Flannery but this
       piece has proven that I am still able, unwillingly, aha. I
       really enjoyed reading this and I hope that there will be more
       added to it along the way, because I'm so happy right now. I a d
       o r e that Colleen was the one to kill Frankie and the whole
       revenge aspect of it made it all the more powerful. I genuinely
       believe it would have worked out that way, if Jackie had been in
       a committed relationship in the film ; it would've been his girl
       that took down Frankie. Excellent story and I do look forward to
       reading more chapters if they are on the way sometime soon :D
       #Post#: 3235--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dark Angel
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: March 14, 2017, 9:37 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Ah! You've made my week with your reply hun! I thought it was a
       bit choppy but I didn't want to bog it down...does that even
       make sense? I plan on adding to it a bit but if this has
       inspired you please by all means go right head and use it. :-)
       You're right though, I always thought that if Jackie had been in
       a relationship it would have been his lover to bring his brother
       to his knees. I'm so sorry you cried! *hugs* But I just did a
       re-reading of it and I ended up teary eyed, that almost never
       happens unless it's this pairing for me. I just can't thank you
       enough for always being there as a constant reader. You mean the
       world to me and without you I doubt that these stories would
       exist.
       On a side note I'd probably pick it up with either Colleen
       starting over under an assumed name somewhere away from New York
       or perhaps turning herself in to the cops and telling them
       everything she knew about Frank's past deeds as I think word
       would travel fast around Hell's Kitchen. Because even though she
       got revenge for her boys, ( could totally see Col mother henning
       Jacking, Stevie and Terry ) I don't think she could live with
       herself knowing that she had taken a life even if it was
       Frank's. I can see it now, there's Colleen walking into the
       police station and asking to speak to someone. "Whatta ya want
       lady?" "I'd like to report a murder." "Ok..did you." "I did it.
       Frank Flannery? I killed him." totally stone faced and it gives
       the cop the creeps as they lead her back for questioning in
       cuffs.
       #Post#: 3237--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dark Angel
   DIR By: Wolfy
       Date: March 14, 2017, 10:39 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Absolutely no need to worry about bringing me to tears because
       that is exactly the sort of thing I love to read, as
       heartbreaking as it can be sometimes. I find it really difficult
       to maintain my composure when it comes to anything related to
       Jackie, which is a thing I also developed with Vitaly as well.
       It's hard to keep the river from flowing when you think a little
       on those guys. I think you did a wonderful job here in getting
       emotions across, especially. The way that Colleen responded to
       finding out that it was her Jackie who had been shot and
       killed.. that's what tore me up most. I really enjoyed that she
       actually went ahead and killed Frankie like that, I mean, such a
       violent and automatic reaction could only come from a broken
       heart and Jackie's girl ;] I really enjoyed it and I am excited
       to find out how she gets on now without him, which is gonna be
       so tough now that most of those she loved have gone. DEFINITELY
       love the idea of her turning herself in like that, too! you
       should go for that one and see where it takes you ; and this
       needs to now be an addition to the film so we need like a
       special features menu for it, aha!
       #Post#: 3238--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dark Angel
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: March 14, 2017, 9:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Aha, I might just take you up on the idea to rewrite the script.
       ;) Oh hun, I totally understand though, but both Jackie and
       Vitaly are suck human characters that I think it's easy for us
       to get attached to them. Does that sound weird? I tried to put
       myself in Colleen's mindset when she found out it was Jackie
       that was brought it and I must have tapped into somehow at just
       the right point. I did tear up when I went back to re-read it
       after posting. Now, it wouldn't be me if I put a bit of fluff in
       there too and this ending I think seems to fit the fluff mold, I
       did try to balance it out though. Happy reading! *hugs*
       The hospital scenery passed in a daze as the dark haired woman
       in normally stark white hospital issued scrubs. Covered in the
       blood of the only man she had ever loved she moved in a daze,
       stopping only to say her goodbyes to her mother and
       sister-in-law. Gently brushing a hand over Kathleen’s strawberry
       blonde locks fresh tears welled in Colleen’s eyes as she kissed
       the other woman’s cheek.
       “I’m so sorry Kathleen but I had to do it. You and I both know
       what he did to Jackie.”
       The brunette had whispered low in a tone that she had never used
       before in her life. Stark realization hit Kathy as she watched
       Colleen say her goodbyes to Agnes and drift down the corridor
       and out the entrance of Beth Israel.
       “Code blue. All available personnel to B3.”
       Rang out over the PA system as a once dedicated nurse burned the
       last bridge she had left in the world. A breeze kicked up from
       the west and all but pushed against her from her chosen
       destination.
       ‘Don’t do it, Col. Run. Start over.’
       The voice that had eased her mind for the past ten years urged
       her as her feet took toward the police precinct. Her last few
       blocks of freedom she took in the familiar sights. The Old
       Towne, the Church of St. Paul where they’d married in a quiet
       ceremony. Quinn’s Corner Store, the tiny flower shop where
       Jackie always bought her baby pink roses on her birthday and his
       boutonnière a year ago. The shabby little park where they took
       Stevie’s kids every other weekend when Irene needed a break.
       Everywhere she looked she was reminded of the life she had had,
       the life she had deserved. The life and the what could have
       beens that were ripped from her by a callous monster who had no
       regard for those around him. But that monster was gone, surely
       meeting his end down in hell where he belonged. She knew in her
       heart of hearts that her Jackie had taken his place with Stevie
       and Terry up in heaven. Even though he had been tethered to
       Frank in the land of the living all good souls that truly meant
       no harm went to live with God.
       “I can’t. I won’t turn tail and run. I couldn’t live my life
       that way and you know it, Jackie.”
       She muttered as she pushed herself against the door and was
       nearly assaulted by a cacophony of sound and blinding
       fluorescent light. Steeling herself she found her footing once
       more and walked up to the front desk. The officer on duty was
       still wearing the black band over his badge and on his sleeve.
       For Terry. This was Terry’s precinct. Midtown North 18th. She
       could have sworn she could still see Terry there, standing by
       the rows of filing cabinets and his feet up on the desk in the
       back, still a fresh faced rookie in his Blues.
       “I’d like to report a murder.”
       The officer’s eyes met hers for the first time, actually seeing
       her. Taking her in and appraising her appearance.
       “Normally we’d take a statement here and now but why don’t you
       come with me?”
       “I actually do have a statement to make though..”
       The officer, a tall wiry man with a long hang dog face whose
       badge read ‘O’Connor.’
       “You do?”
       “I do.”
       Grabbing a blank report and a pen he took down her information
       and looked up when Colleen paused.
       “I did it. I killed Frank Flannery.”
       O’Connor’s eyes bulged as he stopped writing and looked up at
       her totally unsure as to what to make of her confession.
       “Lady do you even know who Frank Flannery is?”
       “You mean was and yes I do. Frank Flannery was my
       brother-in-law.”
       O’Connor at this point was raking a hand through his short sandy
       hair as he shook his head. Something about the dark haired green
       eyed woman’s face made the hair on the back of his neck stand
       up. She was totally stone faced but her eyes blazed with
       something a sort of inner fire he’d honestly never seen. Man,
       his instructors at the academy totally didn’t prepare him for
       stuff like this.
       “I gotta get my commander for this one. I’m really sorry but I’m
       going to have to cuff you, Mrs. Flannery.”
       “It’s fine, you’re only following protocol.”
       She said in a nonchalant fashion holding out her wrists for him
       as a shiver shot up her spine as the sound of the cuffs clinking
       against her front. Within an hour she was taken back,
       fingerprinted, had had her first ever mugshot taken and was now
       sitting at a metal table across from two rather shocked looking
       detectives that were apparently following her departed
       brother-in-laws criminal activities for the past decade.
       “So, you mean to tell me that you, a little wisp of a woman like
       you, killed Frank Flannery?”
       The detective, a rather portly swarthy man by the name of
       Demarco said in slight bafflement.
       “Yes, why is that so hard to believe? Is it that hard to
       comprehend that a person such as myself took down a known
       criminal with ties to the Westies? Have you forgotten that I
       have a medical background? One empty needle to the jugular and
       he was gone in about a minute, maybe two. After all, Frank did
       have high blood pressure. You should know this because evidently
       he was under surveillance for years.”
       Demarco’s partner a thin faced pale man who had identified
       himself as Walters sat back and studied Colleen.  Apparently he
       was somehow unhappy with her answer.
       “Why? What did Frank Flannery do to you to seek that kind of end
       for him?”
       Colleen drew in a deep breath, licking her lips she sighed.
       Demarco pulled out a pack of cigarettes, catching her longing
       gaze he offered her one and she accepted, allowing him to light
       it for her. Taking a drag she let it out toward the ceiling.
       “ He killed my cousin Stevie. Ordered a hit on one of your own
       men, Terry Noonan and he slaughtered the love of my life and
       left him to die down at pier 84. I did it because I had nothing
       left in this world to lose.”
       Pondering that for a moment she took another drag from the
       cigarette and let the smoke swirl out, half of it shrouding her
       face in wisps of smoke.
       “Except my freedom. But what’s freedom when you’ve got no one to
       share it with? I took a life and I’m very sorry for that but
       don’t you see? Frank Flannery wasn’t a man. He was a monster.
       The root of all evil in Hell’s Kitchen. I cut him down because
       no one else could or would. Do what you like with me. I’ve
       confessed my sins.”
       Reaching forward she snubbed out her cigarette and let the
       weight of her words sink on the detectives as they took down her
       statement. Both exchanging shocked looks at the woman before
       them. In their combined thirty years on the force they’d never
       heard someone put it so bluntly.
       Two hours ticked by and Colleen for the most part was left on
       her own in that tiny little room at the precinct. The voice in
       her head was back but this time it took on Jackie’s voice.
       “You could have run, Colleen. Why didn’t you run?”
       “I told you already, Jackie. I couldn’t. I couldn’t live with
       myself and having to hide what I had done.”
       “But you could have started over, babe.”
       For the first time since she’d been booked tears welled up in
       her eyes. She could almost see his face. Feel his touch, soft
       and reassuring as it had always been.
       “I couldn’t let you become part of Frank’s legacy of pain. I
       couldn’t let him get away taking you and Stevie and Terry away
       like he did. Someone had to make him pay.”
       Jackie sighed, taking form in front of her. Dressed in his usual
       attire of worn polo and leather jacket over dockers and
       workbooks he plopped himself down in a chair across from her.
       “You could have gone away, started over and had a life, Col.”
       Wiping away at the tears that had rolled down her cheeks she
       reached out for him and all he could was give her a sad smile.
       “I didn’t want to start over, Jackie. I had you and you were my
       everything. We’d made all those plans together and it wasn’t
       right. I couldn’t leave you here. Alone. I never would.”
       “But where does that leave you now, Colleen?”
       Colleen crossed her arms for a moment and thought it over. She
       knew she had done the right thing. She couldn’t live with
       herself had she left Frank to live. She also knew she couldn’t
       live a full happy life knowing she had taken a life, even if it
       was a monster of a man’s. For the first time  in nearly four
       years she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
       “At peace knowing you’re free of him, Jackie.”
       Word swept through Hell’s Kitchen like wild fire. The months
       leading up to Colleen’s trial were filled with mixed emotions.
       Especially in the remaining Flannery household. Agnes flat out
       refused to see her former daughter-in-law but Kathleen was the
       one to reach out. The bond between the two women was stronger
       now than it had ever been before.
       “She’s a killer, Kathleen! You can’t seriously still want her in
       your life!”
       Agnes had admonished early one morning as she saw Kathleen
       collecting her things to visit that horrible Murphy girl. No
       matter what Agnes would no longer consider Colleen a Flannery.
       Even if it was by name alone these days. Kathleen’s blue eyes
       went cold as she turned to face her mother one last time.
       “How quick you go forgetting what your oldest son did. He killed
       Jackie, ma! He killed Terry and he killed Stevie McGuire.
       Christ, Ma you still think Frank was a good by and butter
       wouldn’t melt in his mouth. He was a monster, Ma! The quicker
       you learn to face facts the better.”
       Kathleen left in a flurry of slowly boiling rage her exit
       accented by the slamming of the front door.
       “Flannery, you've got a visitor.”
       Colleen had mostly kept herself to herself, not really fitting
       into any one particular group of inmates. Although they did come
       to her for medical advice which she freely gave with no payment.
       To her cigarettes really didn’t count as currency.
       “What? I thought I couldn’t since it was so close to my
       sentencing?”
       The guard, a tall stocky woman with a broad face named Kowalski
       gave a hearty chuckle.
       “Girly you snuffed out one of New York’s most notorious
       gangsters, I’m pretty damn sure you could ask for damn near
       anything and you’d get it. You got the luck of the Irish with
       you.”
       Smirking good-naturedly Colleen shrugged as she stuck her hands
       through the opening to her cell and awaited the cool metal of
       the handcuffs. Everyone around her bitched about them and
       thought they were a hindrance. She just saw them as protocol.
       Down the winding maze of doors she was led into the visitor’s
       room, normally packed to the gills with people it was all but
       empty except for maybe eight people. One of them being a
       familiar strawberry blonde with smiling blue eyes.
       “Where is everyone?”
       She wondered aloud as Kowalski took off the cuffs and allowed
       her sit down across from Kathleen.
       “Damn Flannery, don’t you know what day it is? It’s St.
       Patrick’s day. You of all people should be looking forward to
       it. Ain’t that what you Irish do?”
       Rolling her green eyes and snorting.
       “Yeah, Kowolski. All Irish people just love St. Patrick. Just
       like you Poles live off of pierogis and kielbasa.”
       “You’ve got an hour on account of the holiday, smart ass.”
       Kowolski said with a shake of her head.
       A quiet moment passed between Colleen and Kathy. Both sat with
       their heads bowed slightly remembering how much Jackie loved St.
       Patrick’s Day. Terry was usually out there working crowd control
       or marching with the Emerald Society. Both shared a small smile
       before Kathleen reached over the table and pulled her in for a
       hug. Noticing that Colleen no longer smelled like jasmine and
       blackberries. Instead it was a harsh scent of disinfectant soap
       supplied by the state. Her long dark hair still held it’s shine
       somehow and the dark circles that were once under her eyes for
       God knew how long were gone.
       “You got me, Col. You’ll never be alone.”
       “Thanks, Kathy. It..really means a lot you know? I got your
       mother’s letter and…”
       A lump formed in Colleen’s throat and she tried to will it away.
       “Uh…tell her I’m sorry. I don’t expect her to understand but I’m
       glad that you do. You’ll be there tomorrow?”
       Kathleen nodded as she reached out for Colleen’s hand, giving it
       a gentle pat.
       “Of course.”
       March 18, 1991
       “It is my understanding that the jury has reached their
       verdict.”
       Judge Sloan was a formidable man, built like a brick house with
       a head of thick salt and pepper hair and a mustache to match.
       The jury foreman rose and delivered the verdict that Colleen
       knew she would get.
       “We the jury find Colleen Michelle Flannery guilty of the act of
       voluntary manslaughter.”
       Colleen had waived her right to a plea-bargain and had told her
       lawyer to let it roll. It was as if she had blinked. She had
       been sentenced to seventeen years. It was more like a slap on
       the wrist and better than the life sentence she had prepared
       herself to receive. What would she do for seventeen years? She’d
       be forty-seven when she was released. As she was loaded into the
       back of a prison bus headed towards Bedford Hills Correctional
       Facility Colleen smiled to herself. That wasn’t that long at
       all.
       True to her nature Colleen kept her head down and nose clean.
       She’d been put to work in the prison’s laundry spending most of
       her days washing and folding uniforms and bedding. It gave her
       the time she needed to feel productive and form a plan as she
       ticked off the days counting to her release.
       March 18, 1999
       “One pair of blue jeans, one button down shirt, one pair of
       flats, one wedding band, one cross necklace, and one zippo
       lighter and your accumulated pay. Stay safe out there Flannery.”
       Colleen found herself released after serving just eight years of
       her sentence, she’d been told it was because she’d been a model
       prisoner who showed remorse and good work ethic who would have
       seen that one coming? Colleen surely hadn’t and thought it part
       that her early release was due in part to her actions as well as
       an overcrowded prison system.
       “Thanks, Kowolski. Don’t let them beat you down, huh?”
       Colleen said rewarding the tall and shockingly still blonde
       guard with a rare smile.
       “You got it, hun.”
       She had lost everything, walked through fire and been reborn. A
       few age lines and silver strands running through her long dark
       hair but Colleen remained true to herself. She had served her
       time and atoned for taking Frank’s life now all she had to do
       was build one for herself. Kathy now lived in a tiny town just
       outside of Massachusetts in a town called Mystic working for a
       law firm. She’d invited Colleen out to see if she’d be
       interested in staying. Agnes had been four years gone by then
       and had not once visited Colleen, not that she had expected it.
       She had dreamed of Jackie often during the beginning of her
       sentence but he was less and less these days. She still felt him
       there with her but in the background. The motion of the
       Greyhound lulled Colleen into an easy sleep as she rested her
       head against the cool glass of the window.
       “Hey there stranger, long time no see.”
       Colleen opened her eyes and saw a face she’d never thought she’d
       see again.
       “I’m dreaming aren’t I?”
       Jackie nodded and gave her an apologetic look as he lounged in
       the seat next to her.
       “I couldn’t very well write on the bus window now could I? Col,
       babe. You and me, we gotta have a talk.”
       “We’ve been having conversations in my dreams for years, Jackie.
       It’s not my fault you pulled a no show for the past five years.”
       Jackie shook his head and held up his hands, his blue eyes
       conveying innocence.
       “Hey, it’s not my fault my mother had trouble adjusting.”
       “Your mother’s got trouble with everything.”
       “I’m tellin’ her you said that.”
       “Oh what’s she gonna do? Come down and smite me? Haunt me?”
       “She forgives you you know? She told me to tell you that she’s
       sorry it took her long to see why you did what you did.”
       “Well tell her thank you, her forgiveness means a lot.”
       A moment then two passed between them.
       “So, penny for your thoughts, Jackie. What’s the talk we’ve got
       to have?”
       Jackie sighed and took hold of her hand. This was never good
       when he did this, the last time he’d done this had been back in
       ’86 when he’d cracked her little red hatchback up on a trip with
       Stevie and Terry to the casinos.
       “I know you love me and you know I love you. With all of my
       heart.”
       ‘I’m sensing a but here.’
       Colleen thought to herself. How wild was that? Being able to
       think to yourself while talking to someone that’s been dead and
       gone for eight years. Oh the stuff of dreams.
       “But you’ve gotta move on. You’ve got to give yourself a little
       bit of happiness.”
       “I’m plenty happy…murgh.”
       Jackie’s hand over her mouth stilled her talking. Glowering at
       him for a moment she listened to what he had to say.
       “I know you keep saying that but I don’t believe it, babe. Yes,
       you did your time. Yes, you’re a good person and yes, you’ve got
       Kathleen but that’s not enough. You deserve someone who can make
       you whole again. I’m here but only in then neutral plane of
       dreams. That’s not a relationship, Colleen. You gave up so much
       for me and Stevie and Terry.”
       “So you’re basically telling me to go out there and find a
       date?”
       A smirk and a chuckle.
       “Yeah, I am. You can love me and find someone else, Colleen.
       It’s okay.”
       “Seriously? Jackie have you forgotten about the marriage vows we
       took?”
       “No, I haven’t but think back to that year Colleen. Was I really
       any kind of husband to you? I was almost never home and it
       wasn’t fair. I was blinded by that devotion to Frank. I loved
       you but I locked myself away. I still love you and I always will
       but I just want you to have a little happiness. Maybe you’ll
       even have a family, I always said you’d make a great mother.
       Find someone that can give you everything I can’t.”
       For a second she considered her options, she could stay and
       quite possibly die alone. Or she could put herself out there
       again and try to find someone. She’d already lost everything she
       loved and cherished. Jackie removed his hand and reached out to
       stroke her hair.
       “Alright, I’ll try but I’m not making any promises, okay?”
       That same charming smile Colleen had fallen in love with beamed
       at her.
       “That’s my girl. Poor sap won’t even know what hit him.”
       “What? You know something I don’t?”
       Shrugging with a wry grin Jackie let out a laugh that she so
       dearly missed.
       “Sorry, can’t tell you a thing. Took an oath and everything.”
       In an instant Colleen felt herself being pulled from the void of
       sleep and woke startled.
       “Excuse me, ma’am but we’ve reached the end of the line.”
       Blinking back sleep and reaching down to collect her bag and
       duffle Colleen stretched and saw that she had indeed arrived in
       Mystic. It was just past seven and her stomach never did well on
       long trips.
       “I’m sorry, I guess I nodded off. Uh, you wouldn’t happen to
       know where I could find some ginger ale and soda crackers would
       you?”
       The driver nodded, before writing down an address on the back of
       a  scrap of paper.
       “Welcome to Mystic River.”
       In a blink the driver was gone and Colleen was sent reeling.
       “Hey! Wait a second, I’m supposed to be in Mystic Connecticut.
       Where the hell am I?!”
       The driver gave her a wave as he turned the corner calling over
       his shoulder.
       “Mystic River Massachusetts.”
       “Shit. Leave it to me to get on the wrong damn bus.”
       Colleen muttered before stalking over to a pay phone and calling
       Kathleen and look over a newly purchased map from the news
       stand.
       “Hey Kathy it’s me. I’m in Mystic River. I’m about two hours
       away. I have no idea what the hell happened but I’m getting a
       room somewhere and I’ll rent a car or something and be at your
       place bright and early tomorrow. Alright…okay. Love you too.
       Tell Ben I said hi.”
       Sighing to herself as she replaced the phone in the cradle she
       noticed that her stomach still hadn’t settled. Five minutes and
       one pair of very sore feet later she found herself walking up
       the street it what was presumably the business section of this
       tiny town. It was a far cry from what she was used to but it
       felt homey. Glancing down at the piece of paper given to her
       from the greyhound driver she noticed the sign that was waving
       off in the distance.
       “Must be a mom and pop type place.”
       She reasoned as she ambled toward the tiny grocery store, a
       little girl with dark brown curls and doe like brown eyes was
       outside playing hopscotch. She couldn’t help but smile as she
       opened the door. Her smile quickly turned to a grimace as she
       was nearly blinded by the fluorescent lighting.
       “Sorry, just changed the bulbs.”
       A voice called from somewhere behind a stack of produce boxes at
       the far side of the store.
       “Oh don’t worry about it. It’s just a shock. Hey, you wouldn’t
       happen to have any soda crackers would you?”
       “Yeah, uh I just stocked aisle four.”
       Colleen smiled and called a thank you as she walked toward aisle
       four finding her box of crackers and grabbing a cold bottle of
       schweppes from the fridge case she put her purchases up on the
       counter and waited. It seemed as if the shop keeper had gone in
       the back. Glancing out the window she saw a group of boys
       approach the dark curly haired little girl. She couldn’t help
       but smile at the little girl’s determination to stand her ground
       and not let the boys push her away from her hopscotch spot. One
       of the little bullies picked up the marker pebble she’d been
       using to count her jumps and hurled it at her striking her above
       the eye. Colleen was out the door like a shot making it just in
       time to see the little group of boys try to book down the street
       as the girl hit the sidewalk with a yelp.
       “HOLD IT!”
       Four shame faced little boys stopped dead in their tracks at
       Colleen’s voice.
       “You four up against the glass. Now.”
       Bending down to give a little girl a once over Colleen checked
       the small gash on her forehead and had her follow her finger.
       “Can you tell me your name, hun?”
       “Katie.”
       “Hi Katie, can you tell me what day it is?”
       “Tuesday…who are you?”
       “I’m Colleen.”
       “Hi Colleen.”
       Giving the little girl a soft smile she brushed back Katie’s
       bangs and helped her up.
       “My Daddy says your name means girl in Gaelic…is that true?”
       “Your Daddy sounds like a very smart man. Can you go inside and
       wait there for me?”
       Katie nodded slightly before slipping inside the store. Just as
       she walked in Colleen turned to the group of hoods in training.
       Staring each of them in the eye, her jaw set.
       “I don’t ever want to see any of you do that ever again. To
       anyone. Let alone a girl.”
       Grabbing the rock thrower by the shirt collar she came nearly
       nose to nose with him and stared him down before growling out a
       question.
       “You’re nothing but a cheap little dime store hood and it
       sickens me. What’s your name, boy?”
       The boy, who looked like he’d probably shit himself went wide
       eyed before squeaking out an answer.
       “RJ Harris…”
       “Well, RJ I think I’m going to have to call your mother. May I
       have her phone number please?”
       RJ’s face fell even further as Colleen let him go and grabbed
       him by the ear and all but drug him behind her into the Cottage
       Market.
       “Right after you apologize to Katie.”
       Colleen noticed that Katie was dutifully waiting for her this
       time behind the counter. How in the world had she gotten there?
       A flurry of movement from the back and a shock of dark hair came
       hurtling out of the backroom. Armed with a first aid kit and the
       wrinkled brow that only a person with children could have.
       “That’s Colleen, Daddy.”
       Katie supplied with a rather adorable mischievous little smile.
       This kid’s wheels were turning away at something and Jackie
       would have high-fived her.
       It wasn’t until that very moment that Colleen was actually able
       to get a good look at Katie’s father’s / would be stock boy that
       had helped her minutes ago. He was a damn near dead ringer for
       Terry.
       “I’m Jimmy Markhum…you okay?”
       Colleen shook her head slightly trying to lift the daze.
       “Yeah…yes. Fine. It’s just you remind me of someone I knew a
       long time ago. Sorry. Did Katie tell you what happened?”
       Jimmy’s face clouded over as he cast a murderous look at RJ who
       was still white as a ghost and probably still shitting himself.
       “Yeah, she did. She told me that she was out front playing hop
       scotch and this little hood and his pack of wannabe tough guys
       threw a rock at her.”
       RJ inched away slightly but not before both adults pinned him
       under white hot gazes. Jimmy raised his hand and pointed to the
       boy.
       “You don’t move a muscle. I’m calling your mother.”
       Colleen had busied herself setting up a the first aid and
       gingerly tending to Katie’s cut all the while making her smile
       while keeping her calm.
       “I think you’ll be alright before you get married.”
       Colleen consoled as she finished tapping down the bandaid and
       helping Katie off the counter.
       “Are you married, Colleen?”
       Colleen felt her throat close for a moment. She remembered that
       she didn’t belong here. Not with these good people. She was a
       reformed murderous felon and any which way you sliced it she was
       an outcast no matter how many good deeds she did in her life.
       “I…I was.”
       Katie’s little face beamed a little brighter as she reached for
       Colleen’s hand.
       “What happened? Did he leave you like Mommy left Daddy?”
       Jimmy cast an apologetic glance Colleen’s way and gave Katie a
       mild warning look as if to say ‘We don’t discuss your mother.’
       She remembered that look well because Colleen herself had
       received it from her mother whenever she brought up her father
       in mixed company.
       “No, h-. My husband passed away.”
       Katie’s little face fell and her mouth turned into a frown.
       Colleen thought she had seen a plethora of sad things in her
       thirty-seven years but the look Katie Markhum’s face took on
       when something saddened her broke her heart.
       “I’m sorry. I bet he was real nice. My Granny always says what a
       heart puts out a heart gets in return and you’re nice so he must
       have been real nice too.”
       Jimmy had wrapped up his phone conversation with a rather irate
       Mrs. Harris who was now making her way down the street.
       “Ray Junior I was told to tell by order of your mother that you
       will not be able to sit down until you’re at least eighteen.
       She’s on her way and kid, she’s gunning for you.”
       RJ’s face fell even further as a dark spot appeared on his jeans
       and puddled around his sneakers and onto the linoleum. Katie’s
       jaw dropped as Jimmy and Colleen turned to look at the boy
       before them now reeking of guilt, shame, and piss.
       “You’re cleaning that up before you leave too.”
       Colleen turned to RJ and waited expectantly. Quirking a dark
       arching brow she encouraged him.
       “I’mreallysorryKatie.”
       “Slower.”
       “I’m really sorry Katie and it won’t happen again.”
       Katie considered his apology and then nodded.
       “It’s okay RJ. I forgive  you.”
       Colleen was satisfied but caught the boy’s gaze once more as
       Jimmy went in search of a mop taking a now smiling Katie with
       him.
       “I grew up with a boy just like you and you know what happened
       to him?”
       RJ shook his head as he shuffled from foot to foot trying
       desperately not to get the baggy legs of his jeans wet.
       “He grew up to be a vile mean heartless monster of a man. Taking
       and taking and leaving nothing but pain and destruction in his
       wake. He lied, he cheated, he stole…and he even killed people.
       Until one day…”
       RJ’s face turned grey as his eyes widened.
       “What? Until one day what?”
       “Someone stood up to him and made him very very sorry for what
       he had done to her. If you turn yourself around now while
       there’s still time you won’t turn out like him. If you don’t
       you’ll be very very sorry. Just like he was. Remember, every one
       of your actions have consequences and you have to reap what you
       sow.”
       RJ nodded just as the shop door slammed open with a bang. A
       harried looking blonde woman stormed in her eyes full of rage.
       “Raymond James Harris Junior come here this instant.”
       Colleen studied the petite blonde that was mere inches away from
       her and a light went off.
       “Noreen?”
       The blonde looked up and her haggard heart shaped face lit up
       like a Christmas tree. It truly was Noreen Mulligan. The last
       time Colleen had seen her was in 1989 at a Christmas party at
       the Old Towne bar.
       “Colleen Murphy?! What in the world are you doing here of all
       places?”
       Noreen pulled her in for a hug before letting her go to get a
       better look at her old friend.
       “They let you out didn’t they?”
       Noreen asked in a hushed tone. Her light brows raising toward
       her hairline as Colleen nodded, cheeks breaking out in a rosy
       blush.
       “Yeah, only served eight years.”
       “Well I didn’t think you did a damn thing wrong. Frank deserved
       what he got and everyone in New York knew what he’d done over
       the years. You know the old gang still talks about you? You’re
       like a folk legend back on Clinton Avenue these days.”
       “I didn’t…I don’t. That’s not why I did it though, never for the
       folk legend status.”
       “Oh I know, everybody knows that but that’s just what happens.
       You thinking of staying here a while or are you going to stay
       with Kathy?”
       “I was going to see Kathy, yeah. Hard to believe she moved out
       of the city you know? Last I heard she was dating some lawyer
       named Chase or something.
       Noreen’s face lit up even brighter and she almost hummed with
       excitement.
       “Oh honey they’re getting hitched in a year. She says his name
       is Ben and he does quite a bit of pro bono work. He used to be a
       prosecutor but something happened. Kath says he doesn’t talk
       much about it but as long as they’re happy, right?”
       Colleen nodded and almost forced a smile as she was about to
       answer but as cut off by a little hand settling itself into her
       own, swinging it gently back and forth. Colleen looked down and
       was greeted by a megawatt smile from the five year old at her
       side. Noreen studied the image for a moment and smiled.
       “Maybe you’ll find something around here? Stay and become a
       local, right Jimmy?”
       Jimmy emerged with a mop and bucket and shrugged.
       “Nobody really stays in Mystic River very long unless they’re
       born here or they’re desperate to start over. It’s what I did.
       Straight out of MCI Farmingham and right here.”
       Colleen’s brain recognized the words fate and start over and
       something pinged. RJ was left with the duty of mopping up after
       himself as Katie climbed up on the stool behind the register
       next to Jimmy. Noreen had brought Colleen up to speed on the
       happenings of the old crew from the Old Towne in the span of
       twenty minutes.
       “You heard about Irene right?”
       “Yeah, I used to get letters from her every now and then. It’s a
       shame she’s working on her third divorce but what can you do?
       What’s meant to be is meant to be and if it’s not well, it’s
       not.”
       “Isn’t that something? Jimmy here shares the same philosophy.
       Ain’t that right Jimmy?”
       Jimmy nodded before Katie leaned over and whispered something in
       his ear that caused him to turn a slight shade of pink.
       “Well, why don’t you ask her?”
       Katie shook her head and crossed her arms.
       “It seems Katie here has turned into a little chicken on me but
       she’d like to know if you’d like to accompany us to dinner? It’s
       nothing special just the local greasy spoon across the street.”
       Colleen could have sworn she’d gotten a swift nudge to the ribs
       but Noreen was already calling out a goodbye dragging RJ behind
       her who had already started to whimper about the promise of a
       swatting so hard it couldn’t even be done in public.
       “I..uh..I’mareformedfelon.”
       Jimmy’s eyebrows creased and he flat out laughed.
       “So am I. Car jacking and armed robbery. What about you?”
       “Murder.”
       Jimmy shrugged and it startled her so that her green eyes bugged
       and her mouth fell open slightly.
       “Ain’t nothing I haven’t read about in the papers. I thought you
       looked familiar and Noreen’s from New York. It was all over the
       news here too. It’s okay, really. You had reasons and it seems
       that the state of New York seems to think you’re ready to be
       part of the population again. Now, would you like to join us for
       dinner?”
       Katie’s eyes lit up as she leaned forward.
       “Please?”
       “Alright but I’m paying my half. By the way since you’re a local
       do you know place I could stay?”
       “Our house!”
       Katie suggested as she got down from her perch on the stool and
       nearly skipped around the two adults.
       “Thank you for the invitation Katie but I’d hate to impose.”
       “There’s Russ’s motor lodge down a piece from the dinner. It’s
       cheap and clean and it’s hardly ever full at this time of the
       year.”
       “It looks like I’m staying there then, thank you.”
       The cool early spring air hit the three of them as they walked
       out of the tiny market, just in time to see the sun dip low in
       the sky. As they crossed the road a car barreled down the road
       and slammed on the breaks just in time as Colleen gave a shout
       as she raised her arms and gestured to the driver.
       “Hey! I’m walkin’ here! You blind or something?”
       “I can tell by that accent, lady you ain’t no local!”
       Another gesture from Colleen as she ushered as amused Jimmy and
       a curious Katie across. The wind rustled the leaves in a nearby
       oak and Colleen could swear that she heard a distinct laugh and
       a whisper.
       “But she’ll be local soon enough. This seems like a good place
       to start over. Don’t you think, babe?”
       Rolling her eyes upward Colleen shook her head as if to shush
       the still chuckling voice. But she had to agree. She’d finally
       found her fresh start.
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