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       #Post#: 3163--------------------------------------------------
       Heaven Help Us
   DIR By: Maggie Flannery
       Date: March 9, 2016, 2:59 am
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       "Loving you is like trying to touch a star, I know I can never
       reach you, but I can't help but try.”
       Unknown.
       Theme:
  HTML https://open.spotify.com/track/27G07TIlxvXzhtwgIv7ar8
       The day dawned cold and rainy, much like any other Autumn
       morning in the tiny island town of Cropshire Down. The news
       forecast had said they should be expecting snow sometime later
       that evening mixed in with freezing rain, first ‘big storm’ of
       the season they’d said. The town’s populous, all five hundred
       and seventy five of them were more than prepared, they were old
       hat at it, always had been. Walker’s General Store had received
       a larger shipment than normal from the mainland and most of the
       stock was spoken for just before ten that very morning, like
       wise with the extra fuel from Quinlan’s Service station, for
       generators were the main source of light on the island if the
       lines went down.  The sea air blew in from the coast staining
       the already dull grey jetties an inky black as the skies poured
       down.  Most of the town’s population were tucked away nice and
       warm indoors finally sitting down to a hot meal or curled up in
       front of the fire reading the Herald or the like. All except
       one. The figure of a woman bundled up against the wind and chill
       trudged along West Helm Road towards the only church on the
       island, St. Gerard’s of the Assumption.
       Colleen Sheehan was a woman on a mission. She had set out to
       talk to the town priest if it was the last thing she did. Her
       long dark hair had fallen from it’s pins and fanned out behind
       her in a thick black silky sheet as the cold northern wind blew
       against her. Her work worn hands clutched her heavy grey green
       overcoat closed as her rubber boots trod on, living up hill on
       Fergus Point as a lighthouse keeper’s wife had strengthened her
       legs as well as her resolve to keep going, as had the time spent
       working beside her husband aboard the small fishing boat he
       owned, The Rose of Tralee; the smell of engine grease, bait and
       the sea never truly left him it seemed. Her Mickey. She loved
       him but there was a part of her he would never truly have, not
       that he cared. Michael Joseph Sheehan was a very practical man
       and what he could not see or touch did not concern him. He loved
       her in his own quiet way, he was more about actions than words
       but sometimes she was left begging to hear him actually say it.
       He was a good strong provider ;worked his fingers to the bone
       for everything they had. He was safe, secure. Solid, like the
       jetty rock that encased their tiny island town. Her lover on the
       other hand was something else entirely. Light. Warmth, laughter.
       Like her he was a bit of a dreamer, he always had been. They had
       gone to school together back in the day, everyone in town
       thought for sure they would have married but he was destined for
       something else. After graduation he went on his way and left her
       there amidst the sea and the rock and cold. Letters were
       exchanged infrequently between them, the last she had received
       was post marked from Rome.  But he had returned not long after
       her engagement to Mickey only just over a year ago, and with him
       came all those memories they shared. They were both older,
       wiser, a little more at peace with the world then they had been
       at eighteen. She had made up her mind and she thought she had
       been doing the right thing by marrying Mickey but the heart
       wants what the heart wants, this she would soon learn. As would
       her lover.
       Finally she reached her destination, the worn stone steps of
       St. Gerard’s and upon the old wooden double doors she pushed. In
       a minute flat she was enveloped in the heady dark scents;
       incense, teak wood, paraffin wax, and polish. The knot in her
       stomach eased and the weight from her shoulders was soon
       nonexistent. Dipping her fingers into the standing water font
       she blessed herself. This church was like a second home to her.
       She had been baptized here, married here. As had her parents and
       grandparents and great grandparents. She had attended Mass here
       every Sunday for the past twenty-eight years, said goodbye to
       her loved ones here, celebrated feast days of the saints,
       Easter, Lent, Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day. Every moment in her
       life had in some small way had taken place in this sacred space.
       Rifling through her purse she found the money she had saved for
       the votives, one for her mother, her father, Mickey, and the
       souls of herself and her lover. Bowing her head she said a quick
       prayer, made the sign of the cross and dropped the money into
       the plain wooden box beside the votive alter. The statue of the
       Holy Mother had been polished recently and she gravitated toward
       it before dropped to her knees in one of the velveteen kneelers
       and leaned forward and started the Memorare.
       Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
       that never was it known
       that any one who fled to thy protection implored thy help
       or sought thy intercession,
       was left unaided.
       Inspired by this confidence,
       We fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins my Mother;
       to thee do we come, before thee we stand, sinful and sorrowful;
       O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
       despise not our petitions,
       but in thy mercy hear and answer them. Amen.
       Tears welled up in her eyes as the words spilled from her mouth,
       low, almost murmured.
       Mother Mary forgive me and may God himself and your Holy Son
       have mercy on my soul. I know I vowed to love and honor only one
       man but something inside of me has failed him. I’ve failed
       Mickey and lain with another man but please know that I am not
       the sum of my sins. I’m human, made in God’s image with wants
       and needs. I beg you for forgiveness.
       She silently plead to the heavens before standing once more and
       moving towards the confessional boxes and stepping inside. She
       took a seat and silently slid the screen open she bowed and
       blessed herself a third time since stepping foot into the
       church. Familiar hazel eyes held her gaze. The lump in her
       throat grew and she tried to swallow.
       “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been three months
       since my last confession. I’ in love with a man who isn’t my
       husband. I’ve had relations with this man, I have loved him
       since childhood but we can never be together. He’s destined for
       far greater things than I could ever think of, he’s just, kind,
       and true. An exemplary man of the cloth. Which is why I refuse
       to ruin his life’s path.”
       The priest thought for a moment as he listened to her
       confession.
       “Ten Hail Mary’s, Twelve Our Father’s and pray your Act of
       Contrition my child.”
       He watched as her head bowed a moment and he heard her through
       all the way through her Act of Contrition.  Gently sliding the
       lower window open he extended his hands to hers noticing that
       they were work worn and cold, the knuckles chapped and slightly
       bleeding as she clutched her simple wooden rosary. These hands
       were like those of half of the women in town, hard working and
       forth right. Always putting others before themselves. He thought
       of his own dear Mother when he saw them. Bowing his head he
       spoke the Absolution.
       “God, the Father of Mercies, through the death and resurrection
       of his Son, has
       reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among
       us for
       the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church, may
       God
       grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you from your sins in
       the
       name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
       Amen.”
       Colleen echoed an amen before giving his hands a gentle squeeze
       and pushed something, - a mass card or saint’s feast day card -
       into them before whispering something that brought back a flood
       of memories.
       “Feicfidh tú a bheith i gcónaí ar mo réalta thuaidh,Padraic.”
       Without another word she left as quickly and as quietly as she
       had arrived. Back out into the wind and the rain. Back home to
       her husband the lighthouse keeper. He held in his hands the
       thick piece of stock paper she had given to him during her
       confession. Slowly he walked back to the tiny parish house at
       the back of the church. He sat down to a simple meal of soup and
       brown bread turning the paper this way and that trying to
       discern what exactly was before him and then he realized, his
       heart hammered in his chest as he let out laugh of joy only to
       have the horrible realization that he would never get to share
       in her happiness, not truly as he should have been able to at
       least. A strangle hiccuping sob left his body as his eyes welled
       up with bitter tears. Tears for all the ‘could have beens’ and
       ‘should have been’s.’ the cruel ‘what if’s’ of a life together
       they couldn’t ever share. Finally composing himself enough to
       put up the priestly front once more he dialed her number, one he
       had learned by heart it seemed since he had come back home.
       “Sheehan residence how can I help you?”
       came a gruff query from the other end of the line. Michael. He
       thought to himself before answering.
       “Hello Mr. Sheehan it’s Father Hennessy. I just wanted to call
       to congratulate you…”
       A noticeable change in tone made his stomach turn.
       “Thank you very much Father. Colleen and I are over the moon,
       you know the doctors on the mainland told us that it would
       probably never happen but it’s a miracle. Oh, wait a minute.
       Would you be wanting to speak to Colleen? She had something she
       wants to ask you.”
       Mickey asked before he passed the phone off to his wife.
       ‘If she asked for the stars I’d pluck them from the sky.’
       Hennessy thought to himself before he heard her voice. Her
       manner of speaking signaled that Mickey had stepped out of the
       room.
       “Hello, Patrick. I’m sorry I didn’t get a change to tell you to
       your face I wasn’t sure if there was anyone was in the next box
       or not..”
       Before he could answer he heard solid footsteps and her voice
       changed again, congenial but not relaxed as he had remembered or
       wanted her.
       “I was wondering Father, would you do us the honor of baptizing
       the child when the time comes?”
       “I would be delighted, Mrs. Sheehan.”
       “Oh, and one more thing Mickey’s the eldest  in his family and
       his father’s name just wouldn’t do…”
       Patrick did his best not to let out a laugh at the memory of Old
       man Sheehan’s name. Riordan. What made it worse was the child’s
       middle name would surely be Francis, as all of the Sheehan men
       had been given that tradition before they chose their
       confirmation names. Saddle a kid with a name like that he’s sure
       to get a beating in the schoolyard.
       “We’ve been told that the baby’s a boy..”
       Patrick’s heart stopped for a moment as he clung to her every
       word.
       “We would like very much to name him after you, if you’d agree
       to it.”
       He couldn’t breathe, all air had left his lungs and his world
       spun for a moment.
       “It…would be a most wonderful honor. Thank you Mrs. Sheehan and
       may God keep you and the babe safe. Rest well..”
       She was just about to hang up when he stopped her.
       “Feicfidh mé grá i gcónaí leat, Colleen.”
       “Agus mé tú.”
       She said as he heard her smile before wishing him well and
       hanging up.
       Thoughts swirled around his head that night as he sat in front
       of the fire place, a log crackling merrily in the hearth as the
       store continued on outside. He cast his gaze at the crucifix
       upon the wall.
       “I know it was wrong, I know. We both know. But we’ve always
       loved each other. But please, all I ask of you is to keep them
       safe. I’ve dedicated myself to you since I was eighteen, it was
       my mother’s greatest wish and I did it for her. Please, just
       keep them safe.”
       Two months later while out with a few of his Mainland friends
       Michael Sheehan drank a wee bit too much Tullamoore Dew at the
       Mainland tavern, the Whaler's Arm's and slipped into the harbor
       never to be seen again. The local police came to the conclusion
       that his body either sank to the very bottom of the docks or
       drifted out on the current to the sea. He left behind a loving
       wife, Colleen who by that time was five months along with their
       son. With nothing keeping her on Cropshire Down the widow
       Sheehan sold the boat that her husband once coveted and settled
       somewhere outside of Boston. Not long after Father Hennessy left
       the island saying that he had been summoned to Rome once more
       and that his replacement would be in town soon. No one thought
       to ask for a forwarding address and let it go. Somewhere in
       Boston’s West End in a tidy little brick house along Charles
       Street a good Catholic couple,  Mr. and Mrs. Hennessy are
       welcoming a young son, Patrick Michael Hennessy at this exact
       moment. They've decided to call him Mickey out of honor for the
       dearly departed.
       [center]~ Fin ~ [/center]
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