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Gary Leonard Oldman
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#Post#: 974--------------------------------------------------
Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: June 12, 2012, 5:24 am
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I had to start this thread for a joke I found last night when I
was trying to cheer myself up from the stomach pains. It's so
funny. It's a christmas carol, but not as we know it!
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Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet.
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires.
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!
I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to
steer.
Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops.
I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop.
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!
Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke!
I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway.
Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh!
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusttttttttty
Chevroooooooleeeeeet!
#Post#: 977--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Maggie Flannery
Date: June 12, 2012, 10:55 pm
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Ahh! I love this! Reminds me of my first car, haha. I do hope
that it helped with the stomach pains you had, are you feeling
better?
I'm a fan of Jeff Foxworthy and I thought I'd share some of
these with you, just to cheer you up :D I hate to say this but
some of these just may make it into my story, haha. Sadly some
of these might just apply to some of my family members, haha.
You Might Be a Redneck If...
You believe you got a set of matched luggage if
you have two shopping bags from the same store
You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.
You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off it's wheels.
You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.
You have spray painted your
girlfriend's name on an overpass.
You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado.
#Post#: 980--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: June 13, 2012, 5:42 am
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Haha! glad you liked that new take on Jingle Bells. It did help
and I'm feeling a lot better today thank you :] I don't own a
car or drive myself, but I found that absolutely hilarious as I
was singing along.
I love what you have posted there! I'm having giggle-fits still!
haha. I haven't browsed through jokes in a long time; had
forgotten how entertaining some of them can be xD
#Post#: 1589--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: November 17, 2012, 9:36 pm
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Didn't quite know where else to post this, but because I found
it amusing, it's going here xD
'If you’re looking for hot and passionate lovemaking, Aries born
between 21 March and 30 March could be your answer.' it just
made me laugh, cause I was browsing celebrity star signs and
came across Gary's, which is Aries as he was born on the 21st
March. Then I looked up the description and THIS made my night.
#Post#: 1598--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Maggie Flannery
Date: November 17, 2012, 9:54 pm
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Oh my! That's wonderful! Alex is a lucky woman indeed! You've
just made my night, thank you! :D
#Post#: 1600--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: November 17, 2012, 9:56 pm
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I found it highly amusing xD didn't once doubt it to be true of
him either, hehe. She is indeed a very lucky woman! and so is
Mrs Flannery ;)
#Post#: 1608--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Maggie Flannery
Date: November 17, 2012, 10:17 pm
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Oh aye indeed I am! ;) I think it's hilarious when someone
matches up to their star sign, haha. I myself am a Virgo but I
display only half the traits, haha.
#Post#: 1610--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: November 17, 2012, 10:21 pm
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Aww xD my other half is a Virgo, and I'm a Libra. I don't trust
star signs much because everything I have read about that
combination is just evil, haha.
#Post#: 1616--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Maggie Flannery
Date: November 17, 2012, 10:37 pm
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I usually don't either so you're in good company. I once dated a
fellow Virgo and it didn't end well at all, haha. Don't worry
about it at all, I've seen Virgo/Libra couples that go together
like missing puzzle pieces and I find it so sweet. :) I've seen
other that would have liked to rip each other to bits which
scared the daylights out of me, haha. I've also got a Cancer
Rising and a Pisces Moon so I'm more in tune with them, haha. I
used to do astrological charts and such on the side for people
and it blew my mind how many of them took it so seriously.
*shakes head*
#Post#: 1619--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes
DIR By: Wolfy
Date: November 17, 2012, 10:41 pm
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Oh dear! that's one thing I read about when looking at
starsigns, that couples who match in that department are never
going to get along. I suppose it works for some, and for others
it's just impossible. It depends entirely on which
characteristics you have that resemble your star sign, or in
general, the kind of person you are and how much you're willing
to make it work. So many people love these things, but I
completely lost interest after reading through all the daily
horoscopes in magazines years ago. That kinda put me off, so now
I just look around for genuine stuff :D
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