DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Gamestar Mechanic Forum
HTML https://gamestarforum.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Individual Writing
*****************************************************
#Post#: 11315--------------------------------------------------
Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 17, 2014, 6:20 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
This is the first part of a novel that I'm writing, except my
temporary name for the novel sucks so I'm just going to call it
by the name of Part 1. Enjoy.
prologue
She walks in shadows, leaving no tracks behind. Technically,
she doesn’t exist, but no one has figured that out. Not yet.
When they do, she will be ready; she has a horde of fake
identities stashed. Her name can be Natasha, Karen, Diane.
Anything except what is real.
If you looked at her from the outside, you wouldn’t think she
was anyone except who she was pretending to be—a bubbly blonde,
a stoic brunette. But she is far, far from it.
She is the master of shadows.
By the way, this prologue is really stupid, but whatever. It'll
help you figure out stuff about the main character and who the
story is referring to.
#Post#: 11316--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 17, 2014, 6:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
one
The woman in black always gets to work at precisely 9:00 AM.
Her work is impeccable, and she could probably get a better job
if she wanted; but she doesn’t. She never speaks to anyone
except for when it’s needed for work.
The manager does not know her name; but in all fairness, he has
over two hundred employees. He pays more attention to the
workers who tend to do things wrong than the ones who do
everything right.
Still, when it is 10:00 and she hasn’t shown up one day, the
manager is worried.
Her cubicle is empty, and she has no personal belongings there;
there is no name, no number. He doesn’t have a list of who
resides in which cubicle, so he asks the man with the cubicle
next to hers if he knows her name.
After a moment of thinking, he says it is Caroline.
Thanking the man, the manager walks away and looks through the
list of the employees. Perhaps if he can find her last name, he
can figure out what happened to her.
But instead of finding her name, he finds something stranger.
Nobody named Caroline works there.
#Post#: 11317--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 17, 2014, 6:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
two
An unassuming lady clad in black hurriedly transfers her
possessions to a car. To the other people living in the
apartment complex, she is just one of many; many who leave the
complex because of a change of fate or many who are old enough
to leave their parents or many who have realized their spouse
isn’t right for them.
However, the woman with the boxes is far from one of the many.
She is currently living as a Caroline Flacker, a stoic woman who
works as a temp downtown.
But although she has birth certificates, IDs, and visas to
prove otherwise, she is no more Caroline Flacker than she is
Cleopatra. If her identity is compromised, she can make sure
Caroline Flacker never existed.
Which is what she’s doing today.
I've got like eleven chapters written, but I'm not going to post
them all at once. Ordinarily I wouldn't post more than one at a
time, but the first three chapters are pretty short.
#Post#: 11318--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 17, 2014, 6:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
three
Alia Johnson is about as different from Caroline Flacker as is
possible. Her hair is short and red, not long and brown; she
wears far more makeup than Caroline; she is bubbly and
inquisitive. It is hard to believe they are essentially the same
person.
Yet they are.
Alia Johnson is a seasoned freelance reporter who has decided
to put down some roots. Today is her interview for the New York
Times, a job she is sure to get.
So she walks into the tall office building confidently. Even
though she knows her way around from long ago, she asks
directions from the girl at the front desk. It is best not to
arouse suspicion.
Alia takes the elevator up to the 27th floor, where she will be
interviewed. The floor is bustling, full of people and sounds;
it almost reminds her of—
No. She won’t think about that. Her past is her past, and she
will not relive it.
A voice calls a name from inside the office. It takes her a
moment to realize that it is hers, but she goes in as soon as
she does.
Inside is seated a man. He is older, gaunt, but she would
recognize that face anywhere. It is a face from her past,
someone who she never thought she’d see again—let alone here.
The man smiles a familiar smile with his familiar face and
speaks with his familiar voice.
“Well, Miss Johnson, let’s begin.”
#Post#: 11319--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 17, 2014, 6:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Eh, why not post a fourth chapter.
four
“All right rookies! Get off the floor and run!” a man bellowed.
“You won’t get rest like that on a mission!”
A group of trainees dressed in training uniforms with the
Marine logo stamped on it got up off the ground. Although they
were panting, they’d rather run than face the wrath of the man.
After the recruits took off, a woman sidled up to the man’s
side. He didn’t notice until she spoke: “You could take a little
pity on them, you know.”
“Shadow,” he stated. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
The woman shrugged. “Been busy, Colonel. It can get hard to
communicate from Saudi Arabia.”
“I heard you were promoted. Congratulations.”
“You know better than anyone that I didn’t want it. The more
people who know me, the more people who want to kill me.”
“Well, maybe it’s time you stepped down from field work. They’d
be very happy to offer you a desk job.” A glint showed in the
man’s eyes; he enjoyed the banter.
“You know that’s never going to happen.” Shadow rolled her
eyes.
“Like you telling me your real name?”
“Again, not going to happen.
the DIA for a reason; names are liabilities. Someone knows your
name, someone knows who you really are. There are exactly seven
people in this world who know my real name, and three of them
are dead.” Her words choked a little at that, but it wasn’t
something most people would notice—including the man who was
standing next to her.
He whistled. “Damn. You kill them yourself, or have someone
else do the job?” The colonel was grinning slightly at this
point.
Shadow smiled mysteriously. “You know.”
“So, what are you here for anyways?”
“Recruitment.”
He smirked. “The famous Shadow, reduced to recruitment duty? I
don’t believe it.”
“Oh, no. I’m not here to recruit greenies, Carson. I’m here to
recruit you.”
#Post#: 11353--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 18, 2014, 7:42 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
five
Alia smiles brightly at the man who she is facing, her face
masking what is really going through her head. She never thought
she’d see this gruff face again, let alone here. How does the
New York Times pertain to military security?
But no matter his intention, he knows her. He knows her voice,
her disguises. He knows her better than anyone else.
Which is why she tries her best to keep him from noticing who
she really is. Perhaps he has forgotten; it has been years. Even
though her face is one that he’ll never forget.
She lowers her voice and lets her bangs fall in front of her
eyes when she speaks to him. “Okay.”
“So, what makes you think you’re qualified…”
The questions keep coming, and Alia keeps answering them. They
are standard interview questions; nothing she hasn’t prepared
for.
After a round of questions, the man at the desk shuffles a
stack of papers. Some, she can see, are from other interviewees.
“That was quite enlightening. You very well may get the job.”
“Thank you,” she says. He hasn’t figured it out yet.
“I’d like you to come with me for a moment; standard procedure.
We have to ask our employees a few more questions in another
room.”
She can see that he’s lying; he’s never been the best at
undercover work. Alia Johnson may have believed him, but Shadow
doesn’t. If it was anyone else, Alia wouldn’t go; screw her
cover. But this is Colonel Carson, who she has known for quite a
while. And something in his eyes tells her that he recognizes
her.
So she follows him through a nondescript door on the side of
the room they are in. It leads to a small space, with thick
walls and—more importantly—no cameras or microphones.
Once they are safely in, the colonel looks her over several
times before he seems to believe it.
“Shadow,” he breathes. “I thought you were dead.”
“So did I.”
I'm probably not going to update this often in the future, but
whatever.
Also, you guys could tell me what you think.
#Post#: 11361--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Topaz1116
Date: July 19, 2014, 2:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
six
Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight…
Shadow looked away from the clock that was counting down the
seconds until her death. There was no escaping; if she tried to
leave the compound, military plans would be sold to every
country the US was completing operations in—both those known and
unknown.
Because she was a senior operative, the director of the DIA
chose Carson and her to infiltrate a terrorist group that had
gotten hold of a military commander; apparently he had cracked
from torture.
Well, that was what they had thought.
They found that the terrorist group was posing as a software
company in Texas; it was almost too easy to hack into their
systems and break in.
She and Carson had made their way into building with no
problem, but the commander cornered them.
Apparently he has been helping the enemy all along.
And this enemy has a particular vendetta against Shadow because
of a certain mission she completed years ago.
This enemy also happened to know they would send Shadow in for
a mission this classified.
It was all a trap.
Carson was being held in a room in another part of the
building, safe for now.
But the area where Shadow was being held was about to blow up.
Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight…
Thirty seconds until all that was left of Shadow was ash.
Even if she did escape—no matter the repercussions—the walls
were rigged so if they break, the bomb explodes prematurely.
Shadow’s hands and legs were cuffed, so the only movement that
was possible for her was a crawl.
She was surrounded by glass walls, most of them reinforced. One
side wasn’t, but lead to a forty-foot drop into an alleyway.
Shadow had finally been outsmarted.
She had almost begun to think of herself as indestructible.
Completing mission after mission with barely a scratch. But she
wasn’t. She was as small as an ant now, easily crushed by fire
and ice and spite.
Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen…
The terrorists took the liberty of giving Shadow a watch so she
could count down the seconds until the bomb explodes. Although
she tried not to look at it, she did anyways.
She felt her ear, and was surprised to notice that her earpiece
was still in. She could communicate to the mission operator.
“This is Shadow to Control, and I am not going to survive.”
Saying it out loud almost made it easier. They knew what to do
in case of her death.
There was no reply, just the crackle of static that signified
they heard.
Shadow’s eyes stung, and she found that there were tears in
them. She had never thought she’d be sorry to leave her life
behind, yet she was.
Ten, nine, eight…
She noticed a dumpster in the street. If she could somehow
manage to get through, it could cushion her fall.
Seven, six…
It would take the bomb a second to respond if she broke the
glass. Perhaps she could delay it for a second and fall through.
It was a minuscule chance, but there was a possibility that it
would go right.
Five, four…
Shadow scooted closer to the window and hit it repeatedly with
her handcuffs. Fracture lines started to appear.
Three, two…
The fracture lines got deeper, and Shadow thought that there
might be hope yet. She positioned herself so that if she fell
out the window, she would land safely.
It was time.
One.
Right as the countdown reached zero, she broke through the
glass.
And then everything went dark.
Yay for cliffhangers!
#Post#: 11362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Clandestine
DIR By: Zenwarrior54
Date: July 19, 2014, 2:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
-Annoying Critic incoming-
[I am completely confused right now... You could have eased us
into these characters a little more. Take the book "Of Mice and
Men" for example. The two main characters are introduced at the
same time, but rather than rushing right into the story, the
book takes a whole chapter fleshing out the two characters
through an ongoing conversation before they eventually reach
their destination- and the main bulk of the story.]
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 1