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#Post#: 58056--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: v8offroad
Date: February 14, 2025, 4:15 am
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A hotel guest calls the front desk from his room on the eighth
floor.
The call is picked up by the clerk on the reception desk.
The clerk answers,
"May I help you?"
The man says,
"Yes, I'm in room 858"
"You need to send someone to my room immediately"
"What seems to be the problem sir?"
Asks the clerk,
"I'm having an argument with my wife and she's threatening to
jump out of the window."
The desk clerk calmly says,
"I'm very sorry to hear that sir, but that's a personal matter."
The man replies,
"Listen you idiot, the window won't open... and that's a
maintenance matter!"
#Post#: 58105--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: February 14, 2025, 8:09 am
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--- Quote from: andy_foster link ---
>
> The fact that some people do not know the difference between
entomology and etymology bugs me in ways that I cannot put into
words.
>
--- End Quote ---
Jeff Goldblum had dinner with Suzie Dent one evening. He had a
fly in his soup and she had a bookworm in hers.
#Post#: 58116--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: NigelJK
Date: February 14, 2025, 10:16 am
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Two lawyers walk into a pub. They order a couple of drinks and
take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and then they
begin to eat them.
Seeing this, the angry publican exclaims, “Excuse me, but you
can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The two lawyers look at each other, shrug their shoulders, and
then exchange sandwiches.
#Post#: 58124--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: February 14, 2025, 10:50 am
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[center][font=Comic Sans MS]Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a Gemini,
And so am I.[/center]
[center]:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* [/center]
[center]Happy Valentine's Day :D [/center]
#Post#: 58200--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: February 15, 2025, 4:35 am
---------------------------------------------------------
There was this poor chap who suffered continuously with an awful
pain in his right shoulder. This affected his work and his
marriage.
He tried absolutely all channels of medical exploration to no
avail: the GP, the physiotherapist and, as a last resort, an
expensive osteopath, by which time his marriage was over and he
was about to lose his job.
His one last hope was, as the osteopath advised, to see a
chiropractor. The man replied: "You must be joking. I can't
afford the flight!"
#Post#: 59287--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: February 22, 2025, 5:41 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: andy_foster link ---
>
> The fact that some people do not know the difference between
entomology and etymology bugs me in ways that I cannot put into
words.
>
--- End Quote ---
I went to see my doctor to complain about buzzing in my ear.
But, he said that it was just a bug going around.
#Post#: 60055--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: February 28, 2025, 2:24 pm
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Now that Amazon have taken over the 007 franchise, I suggest
that Mr Bezos plays Blofeld and that 007 marries Wonder Woman in
the next film.
#Post#: 60068--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: v8offroad
Date: February 28, 2025, 11:38 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Victor was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for
a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into
the house and asked,
'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same
bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him
the truth.
'Well, Victor, it's called sexual intercourse.'
'Oh,' Little Vic said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with
the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa,
it isn't called sexual intercourse.
It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you!
#Post#: 60094--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: March 1, 2025, 8:52 am
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HTML https://youtube.com/shorts/Ytet8dr1EMw
#Post#: 60147--------------------------------------------------
Re: Humour thread
DIR By: Hippocrates
Date: March 1, 2025, 4:45 pm
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HTML https://youtube.com/shorts/Bvd7AANPI9A?feature=share
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