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#Post#: 261--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 5, 2012, 9:55 am
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Fall of Cleveland:
>Be an Off-White Unicorn Fluffy Pony
>Part of a Large Herd, trudging alongside a Long Metal Rails in
double-file, muttering and whispering to each other to stay
brave as you hear munstas in the distance.
>Fast Metal Munstas that rush past and make your nearly fly off
your hooves.
>Dog Munstas that bark and howl, eager to hunt you down, eat the
entire Herd.
>Insect Munstas that fly up and land on your face, make you
squeal and pee yourself.
>But! Herd was eating grass and sweet brown ‘shrooms when they
saw an amazing thing.
>One of the Hooman’s Moving Boxes had a Magic Flat Thing that
showed pictures on it, parked on the side of the
Grasses-And-Trees places you lived in before, as the Hoomans
grunted and swore at the Moving Box, while their Foals watched
the Magic Flat Thing.
>Whole Herd was transfixed, staring in amazement. How did the
Magic Flat Thing do that? Hooman Foals nice, let Fluffies watch,
not throw stones or use sticks on Fluffies.
>”A wonderful place for your Special Pet to come and play,
completely free of dangers such as feral cats and dogs, animal
abusers and even deep water!” The Hooman in the Magic Flat Box
said, smiling so widely everyone couldn’t help but smile back.
“Shortly, this magical place, fun for the entire family, will
open to the public, and bring Cleveland back onto the map as a
tourist destination of choice.”
>Smarty Friend not know where this ‘Cleveland’ was though.
>Had to be very, very brave and ask the Biggest Munsta Hooman
who ‘owned’ the Grass they were eating.
>Hooman said ‘keep following the tracks to the east, and you’ll
come to a bridge. Cleveland is across the bridge.’.
>Honestly, you think he was just happy to see the Herd leave his
‘Wendy Park’ and stop making poopies on his grasses. Say that
Fluffy Ponies ruin Wendy’s Park.
>Life all your life in Grasses, and never meet this ‘Wendy’.
Stupid Hoomans. Who dis ‘Wendy’?
>Herd was sad to leave grasses, but everyone excited to go to
‘Sketti Park’.
>It’s been a Bright Time, a Dark Time, a Bright Time, and now
another Dark Time, but you see the ‘Highway’.
>Big, BIG Black Thing! Has many parts, some looping around,
others going straight.
>Smarty Friend marshals the Herd, telling them that they sleep
in the ditch, hide from the Munstas till morning, then try to
read signs so they can find ‘Cleveland’ in the morning.
>Everyone sighs in relief.
>Hooves hurt from walking on stones all day. Tummies all but
empty. Everybody is very, very thirsty....
>The Herd shuffles away from the Train-Tracks, nipping at the
green grass and weeds. Some Fluffies go further away and find a
Flat Path that has some water pooled in it.
>Water is dirty and tastes bad but everyone is sooooo thirsty.
>Spaghetti Land .....
>”Fwuffies haf Sketti soon...” Smarty Friend assures Fluffies as
he trots down the lines, hugging Fluffies who are crying, saying
they miss the Grass-And-Trees place.
>Never had ‘Sketti’ before, but the very word conjures up a
primal urge within you, calling forth delicious scents and
tastes you never knew existed, driving you half mad as you chew
on some disgustingly bitter weeds.
>Spaghetti Land .....
> ....... Land of the Fluffies.
>The Herds had gathered, hiding behind trees or in bushes,
waiting, watching, ready to flee or fight at a moment’s notice.
>Foals were hushed if they started to cry or ask questions.
Mares nervously waited, torn between their desire to protect the
Foals and the urge to save themselves. Stallions snorted and
pawed at the ground, unsettled by the number of strange Fluffy
Pony scents that filled the air like musky incense.
>Scouts who had entered the City returned with news the night
before, almost babbling in excitement. It had taken the better
part of the day to finally get them to calm down and talk
rationally, and even then, few of them had made any sense.
>Hoomans had decided to Worship Fluffies.
>They were even building a Paradise for Fluffies, where no
Munstas could go.
>A place called ‘Sketti Park’.
>Smarty Friends eyed each other warily as the Herds gathered for
that rarest of meetings, a Fluffy-Moot, in clearing in the
middle of the forest of Big Creek Park, where a patch of
Honeydew Melons grew wild.
>Fluffies crouched and hif behind the Honeydew Melons, sniffing
the air and looking around constantly for ambushes or
double-crosses.
>Fluffies circled each other warily, looking for weakness or
sickness.
>Finally .... the Smarty Friends sat, glaring at each other.
>”Yuu haf heard?” A Dull Brown Pegasus grunted, his wings
twitching nervously. “Hoomans haf made pwace fo’ Fwuffies.”
>”Is twick, Gommez say!” A Florescent Green Unicorn pipes up,
stamping a hoof heavily on the ground. “Hoomans awways say they
haf woom fo’ Fwuffies, buh they nevah do! Dey wan us come, den
dey gif Biggest Owies!”
>”Buh Sketti!” A third Smarty Friend, a Piebald Yellow-Red
Unicorn, shouts loudly, his eyes wide with anticipation as he
gazes at his fellows. “Sketti! How wong since we has Skettis
Foals of Foals of Foals nu had skettis!”
>”Is TWICK!” Florescent Green snapped back.
>”SKETTI!” Piebald retored.
>Both their Horns started to glow, and the Smarty Friends began
to shuffle back, giving the two rivals room to duel.
>”Yuu both stawp dat now!” A Fluffy Voice boomed, causing the
Smarty Friends to squeak in alarm and crouch down.
>Bowser, Biggest Smarty Friend, rumbled into the circle of the
small melons, glowering angrily at the two Unicorns.
>”Fwuffies know, nu Huwties here.” Bowser grumbled, rising up
onto his hooves and giving owies to a melon.
>It takes several tries, but eventually Bowser makes the Melon
have the Biggest of Owies, and it splits open.
>The delicious scent of the fruit makes everyone drool.
>Bowser’s Herd is cracking open Melons and eating, and the other
Herds are trying as well, without much success.
>Thankfully, some of Bowser’s Fluffies are shuffling over to
help. The other Herds give way before the large, silent Earth
Fluffies, afraid of their thick, impenetrable Fluff and their
infamously strong legs.
>They are all big, ugly Fluffies like Bowser. All Earth
Fluffies.
>Bowser’s Herd gives away their Unicorn and Pegasus Foals to
other Herds, and takes Earth Fluffies for theirs.
>It’s strange, but they are all so, so big .... maybe only other
Earth Fluffies are big enough to play with Bowser’s Herd.
>”Dis is pwace where Hewds come to tawk, nu Huwties.” Bowser
grunts, pushing the shattered melon into the middle of the
Smarty Friends and sitting down next to it. “We aww hungwy, dat
make us angwy. Yuu aww haf nummies, den we tawk ‘gain.”
>Smarty Friends all shuffle over nervously, giving each other
distrusting looks, but Bowser is there. If anyone tries to start
a fight, Bowser will smush them like he did the Melon.
>Bowser is rarest of Smarty Friends. Never steals Mares, never
picks fights, never chases Fluffies away from their safe places.
>But his Herd is also the most feared. If the Bowsers decide
they want something, they surround it and tell other Fluffies to
go away.
>Some Smarty Friends tried to fight.
>Bowser stomps them flat.
>Other Smarty Friends tried to trick Bowser.
>Bowser ignores them, turns his back on them.
>Only Fluffy who can make Bowser do something other than what
Bowser wants is Peach.
>See her in the middle of Bowser’s Herd, pulling out mouthfuls
of Melon to give it to the Foals of Bowser’s Herd.
>Don’t get why she’s called Peach, she’s a Yellow Fluffy.
>But, Bowser get angry when Fluffies say Peach is not Peach.
>She is little Fluffy, half the size of Bowser, a Pegasus.
>Only Pegasus in the Bowser Herd. She always so nice. Even
Bowser’s Fluffies treat her well, give her gentle Hugs.
>Bowser’s Special Friend, even if she never have any Foals. Is
why other Herds shun her, but Bowser says he loves Peach.
>Finally, the Smarty Friends retreat back to their places, their
faces and chests sticky with juice. Everyone is full of sweet,
juicy melon flesh, and they are a little more relaxed now.
>Bowser was right, everyone feeling much better now.
>Florescent Green and Piebald even licking each other clean.
>”Nu Yellin’ in Hewd-Moot, dis say-cwed pwace.” Bowser warns a
final time before shuffling back and rejoining the circle of
Smarty Friends.
>”Buh ... if twue ... Hewds finally haf safe pwace.” A large
Dark Grey Earth Fluffy says, looking around the circle of Smarty
Friends with an earnest expression. “If twue, den Fwuffies nu
haf to wun an’ hide nu moar. Fwuffies can be safe, wamm, haf
Foals an’ nu haf weave sick fwuffies behind!”
>”If twap ... aww Hewds die, an’ Bad Hoomans win.” Florescent
Green warns, but he’s nodding.
>”Even if twap, Fwuffies mus’ twy! Hewds gettin’ hungwy, haf
move fwom Fowest soon.” Another Smarty Friend added, looking
around nervously. “Sooo many Fwuffies, haf to Raid Human gwasses
aww time, eats flowers an’ otha tings, Hoomans get so mad an
huwt Fwuffies.”
>”Maybe ... some Hewds gu, and some Hewds stay?” Piebald
offered. “Hewds stay get to eat gwasses, nu haf huwties wit’
otha Fwuffies, Hewds dat gu get Skettis, and if twue, teww Hewds
dat stay to come an’ eat Skettis too?”
>”Is guud pwan. Buh onwy bwave Hewds gu.” Bowser rumbled,
swinging his large head around to gaze at every Smarty Friend.
“Next Dark Time, Smawty Fwiends come, teww wat de do. Den
Fwuffies gu or stay.”
>The Smarty Friends nodded and gave their assent. It was a big
thing to do. To leave was to risk everything, but to stay was to
never know if the fabled Spaghetti was waiting for them, deep in
the Hooman’s territory.
>As Bowser said. Only the Bravest Herds would go. There was too
much at risk, otherwise.
#Post#: 263--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 5, 2012, 11:37 am
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In regards to the Pastebin, story was removed immediately after
I saw your message mate. Sorry about that, gah.
#Post#: 267--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 5, 2012, 1:33 pm
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>Be the Governor of Ohio
>Cleveland has suffered a crisis over the past few weeks
>Fluffy ponies have been driven to the city en masse
>Your office has been swarmed with requests for aide
>You are doing the best you can
>There is a commotion outside your office
>One of your guards gets flung through a door
>The other comes in on the back of another man
>Drew Alison Carey
>A Marine follows him, protesting
>The Marine speaks up first
>”Sir, this man is out of line!”
>You just smile. You like Drew Carey.
>”Now now, Marine, let’s take this slow.
>We’ve seen enough troubles in the past few weeks.
>How can I help one of Ohio’s favorite sons?”
>Drew Carey puts down the other guard, and both take a step back
>They’re ready to take him down now if there is any problem
>”Sir,” Drew Carey begins, “There is a crisis in Cleveland.
>I am not asking you for aide, or special favors for the city
>All I am asking is to tell this Marine I should be reenlisted!”
>You smile
>”That’s it? Now, why would the Corps not let in this fine
man?”
>”He’s well over the age limit!” the Marine protests.
>”He’s served in the Corps before, hasn’t he?” you counter
>”Still a bit too old. He’d have to have a physical
assessment.”
>”He just made it into my office past two guards,
>Not to mention a Marine Recruiting Officer.”
>”Sir, the Marine Corps cannot let this man back in,
>I admit I would love to have him
>We could use his PR skills and knowledge of the city.”
>You see it in his eyes: he’s not flattering
>His hands are tied
>So you think of a way to cut the knot
>You start writing
>”What if he were transferred from another branch of the
military?”
>”I don’t see that happening”
>”Sure, Marine, sure, but what if it could happen?”
>”We’d accept him immediately”
>”Drew Carey, are you willing to fight for your state?”
>”Yes, Governor”
>”Then by my authority as Governor of this Great State,
>I hearby recruit you for the Ohio National Guard
>What was your last rank?”
>”Corporal, sir”
>”Here is a letter stating I have enlisted you
>You’re in the Army now, Corporal Carey, unless our friend
objects”
>The Marine almost smiles
>”Corporal Carey, the Marine Corps would like to offer you a
transfer
>We need a Public Relations man on the field
>Given your career experience outside of the Corps,
>We can offer you a NonCom position”
>”I accept, sir.”
>”Then belay what the Governor has ordered
>Report with me back to the Marines, Staff Sergeant Carey”
>”Sir, yes sir!”
>And with all the grace and power of a seasoned Marine
>Staff Sergeant Drew Alison Carey, USMC, strides out of your
office
>You know this is a glimmer of hope
>Be Staff Sergeant Drew Alison Carey, USMC
>The last few weeks have made you realize something
>The Corps has a good reason not to let old guys like you in
>Public Relations was a nice way of putting it
>You are assigned to a unit in a Humvee
>Mounted on the back is a Long Range Acoustic Device
>Mainly you broadcast messages
>You are beloved by Cleveland, they take your advice well
>They are evacuating if need be
>You calm a few riots
>But the real reason you have an LRAD is for fluffies
>Can’t even point the thing straight at them, you learned
>>There was a herd, maybe two, in a public park
>>Totally decimating the place
>>You got on the LARD
>>”Fluffies, please turn around and leave the city.”
>>One unicorn steps up and puffs his cheeks
>>”Gween hooman munsta weave! Dis fwuffy pawk!”
>>You turn up the LRAD to a level you use for crowd dispersing
>>Point it at the fluffies
>>”I said-”
>>Fluffy ponies in the front explode
>>The sonic waves tear apart their fragile bodies
>>The ones in back have their eyes liquefied
>>They bleed out from every imaginable orifice
>>Even on the other side of the park, an unrelated herd falls
>>Brain aneurisms from their skulls cracking
>>Your driver pops up and says, “Jeeze, Sarge, a bit loud?”
>>You shrug it off, “Got the job done, Marine.”
>>”Hoo-rah!” he agrees, and drives towards your next assignment
>Even in the Humvee, it’s been tiring work
>The young guys are marching, fighting
>You can barely keep up in your position
>You want to go home
>But this is your home
>You have to defend it
>The radio comes blares on
>”Unit one-zero-niner, what is your position?”
>”This is unit one-zero-niner, we are in the Flats:
>University Road coming up on Literary, over”
>”Roger that. Drew…”
>Uh-oh, something big is up
>”Drew… we’re pulling out. Evacuating the whole city.”
>Holy shit
>”We are sending helicopters to open points in the city
>We’re loading as many civilians as possible
>There is a bunch taking shelter at Eleanor Gerson High
>That’s just northeast of Progressive Field
>Get them to the stadium, we’ll pick them up
>Broadcast evacuation requests on the way
>Advise them not to light fires, not even a cigarette
>And to evacuate on foot if they are able-bodied”
>”Roger, sir… but why?”
>”We’ve got some scientists here that say the fluffy waste…
>It’s at critical levels, Marine. It could blow”
>You had grown accustomed to the stench
>Now, it hits you a fresh
>All around, you see fresh droppings, old droppings
>The whole city is like a giant prank bag waiting to be lit
>”Roger, command, willco”
>And co you do
>You announce the evacuation orders as you head north
>Several civilians remain, most with kids or fluffies
>You pass Jacob’s Field and find the High School
>There is a large group there
>All of them have fluffies
>Turns out, they were hiding there from abusers
>A large gang of them had been killing fluffies and owners
>If you hadn’t joined up, you’d have done the same
>Now, your orders are to protect these people
>You get them organized and start off
>You ride point, ready to blast the LRAD to disperse any abusers
>Make your way down Sumner
>Then, something rustles to your left
>A group of white fluffies emerge from a cemetery
>Their steely blue eyes slowly scan the crowd
>You ignore them and move on
>Then, one attacks the pregnant dam when the owner is turned
away
>You hop down and stride towards the owner
>Brandishing your nightstick as a warning
>No rush, just a nuisance
>Until, in a coordinated effort uncanny for fluffies
>The white fluffies run around to distract the crowd while one
suffocates the dam
>The crowd shrieks in terror as the dam fluffsplodes
>Emotionless, a white fluffy stomps the stillborn foal
>Someone in the crowd yells, "It's those monster fuzzy ponies!"
>Panic ensues
>You yell back to your unit, “Get these civilians to the field!
>And try to stop these fuzzies!
>Don’t use firearms, we might ignite the city!”
>These fuzzies have began to damage your calm
>They move forward, trying to distract you
>You take the nightstick and crack the skull of one of them
>Suddenly, one leaps at you from your left
>You catch it just in time and slam it to the ground
>As you smash one beneath you with your foot
>The civilians and Marines are moving quickly to the field
>You smash through the fuzzies
>They are coordinating attacks
>Trying for your groin, your eyes, even to suffocate you from
behind
>Just as long as they think you can't see them
>You keep beating them down
>Some of them survive the first attack and get right back up
>Toughest fluffies you’ve ever seen
>But their numbers are wearing down
>As you back your way to the field, you crush a ribcage and look
up
>The crowd is gone
>But you can see the backs of thousands of fuzzies
>Following them into the stadium
>Be the driver in Marine Unit 109
>You are escorting a group of civilians into Progressive Field
>You just lost one as fuzzies tripped her over stairs in an
attempt to distract her
>They came from who-knows-where, maybe a vent?
>You radio Drew Carey, he knows this place
>”Sarge, we’re under attack here!
>The fluzzies are coming out of nowhere!”
>”Get the civilians to the field! Fight in the open!”
>”Got it”
>You manage to make it onto the field
>You huddle in a tight circle in the infield
>You and your unit create a perimeter around the civilians
>You don’t like your odds, though
>There are tens of thousands of these things slowly marching to
you
>You radio back to Drew Carey
>”Sarge, there’s too many.
>I don’t think we can hold them.”
>”Keep them away from the civilians, Marine.
>I’ve got an idea.”
>The fuzzies advance
>You step up, keeping your perimeter wide
>You are ready to be attacked by a fluffy pomy for your country
>Then there is a roar
>The emergency ambulance access blares a noise that turns every
head
Three Four!
>You look, and there is your humvee
Three Four!
>Sarge is blaring music from the LRAD
Three Four!
>He motions for you to get in and drive
>You comply as the music intensifies
>Just then you recognize the song and smile
>Working with Drew Carey is awesome
>Be Drew Alison Carey
>You will not lose these civilians to fuzzies
>Your driver gets in and you man the LRAD
All this energy calling me, back where it comes from!
It’s such a crude attitude, it’s back where it belongs!
>You point it away from the civilians and towards the fuzzies
All the little kids growing up on the skids
Go Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>They start to back away and fall under the noise
Jumpin Jene Jene and Movin’ James Dean
Go Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>The fuzzies look honestly terrified
Mama knows, but she don’t care, she’s got her worries too
Seven kids, and a phony affair, and the rent is due!
>They start to run, but your driver is good, and cuts them off
All the little chicks with the crimson lips
Go Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>He runs a few of the faster ones over
Livin’ in sin with a safety pin
Go Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>They are now in a tight herd
I got some records from World War II
I play them just like me granddad do
He was a rocker and I am too
>The driver keeps a tight circle
Go Cle-e-eveland Rocks! Yeah Cle-e-eveland Rocks!
>He speeds up at the appropriate times
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>Minimizing the civilian exposure
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>They have their fluffies huddled in, safe from the sound waves
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>You know that this is your personal copy
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>So you’ll have to provide the last bit
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>The fuzzies' eyes are starting to melt
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>Your driver puts you between the herd and the civilians
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
>You crank up the LRAD mic to maximum power
Cleveland Rocks!
>”OHIO!”
>The herd of white fluffies explodes
>Their blood splashing the infield
>The echos of your final shout ring throughout the city
>Amplified by the ballpark acoustics
>You breathe heavily
>Eventually, you recognize the blare of feedback and switch the
LRAD off
>You hop down
>Immediately, you are swarmed by civilians and their fluffies
>You’ve never been so happy to see the colorful fluffballs
>You hear the choppers approach
>It has been a good day
>When they land, though, it’s not as happy a moment
>”There’s a situation! Get onto the choppers immediately!”
>You ensure the civilians get in and are safe
>You make sure your unit is intact
>You head to the LRAD to get it to the CH-47
>An officer yells, “Leave it, Carey! There’s no time!”
>You rush up and hold on
>The helicopter takes off as soon as you’ve got a foot in
>You watch out the rear window as you make your way over Lake
Erie
>There is a spark from Spaghetti Land
>Like a giant static shock
>The city erupts into flames
>Spaghetti Land blows a mile high
>Various explosions decimate the city
>In the distance, a huge fireball erupts from the Perry Nuclear
Plant
>The resulting explosions level the city
>The waters of Lake Erie wash into the city streets
>You watch as your city burns
>You watch as multicolored corpses rise with the waters
>You watch as Cleveland, and all the fluffy ponies therein,
drown
#Post#: 268--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 5, 2012, 1:57 pm
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I think that story made me spontaneously grow sunglasses. I'm
going to rewrite the fuzzy stories to make tens of thousands of
fuzzies on the loose.
#Post#: 275--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 5, 2012, 5:28 pm
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Neckbeard, I love the concept and execution of the Herd-Moot.
And Bowser and Peach is a great combo.
Is that complete, or will there be more?
#Post#: 281--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 5, 2012, 7:55 pm
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Basically I was thinking of a variety of short (for me, aaargh)
stories in which various Feral Herds and Day-Care centers full
of spoiled Tame Fluffy Ponies all get very, very excited by the
news, and then start to head towards Cleveland as fast as they
can.
On another note, I'm basing all the Fluffies I write about from
parks, gold courses and industrial parks near Cleveland itself,
as seen on Googlemaps, if only so I can accurately depict the
threats they will face going in to the city.
#Post#: 282--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 5, 2012, 8:06 pm
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--- Quote from: Giant_Neckbeard link ---
>
> On another note, I'm basing all the Fluffies I write about
from parks, gold courses and industrial parks near Cleveland
itself, as seen on Googlemaps, if only so I can accurately
depict the threats they will face going in to the city.
>
--- End Quote ---
Google Maps is the best (DOUBLE TRUE). It's a great resource.
I learned there was a cemetary right next to Progressive/Jacob's
Field - though it'd be more appropriate if my hometown of Kansas
City did that, methinks. (In case somebody doesn't understand
why)
HTML http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/Baseball
#Post#: 283--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 6, 2012, 12:34 am
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--- Quote from: Giant_Neckbeard link ---
>
> Basically I was thinking of a variety of short (for me,
aaargh) stories in which various Feral Herds and Day-Care
centers full of spoiled Tame Fluffy Ponies all get very, very
excited by the news, and then start to head towards Cleveland as
fast as they can.
>
--- End Quote ---
Neckbeard's stories are like Ents: majestic, but never small.
You are our champion of fluffy POV, so I am all for leaving
those stories to you.
#Post#: 286--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 6, 2012, 6:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Permission to post this story on Ponibooru, or too soon for the
'Plan'?
Please, critique, I need it.
Daycare Center Fluffies
>Be a minimum wage earner at a Fluffy Pony ‘Daycare’ Center.
>Your job is everything everyone else doesn’t want to do.
>Empting the Litter Trays, picking up the stray poop, mopping up
pee.
>Not allowed to hit, yell at or even glare at the Fluffy Ponies.
Owner threatened to boot your ass to the curb if so much as one
Fluffy Pony whimpered at the sight of you.
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
>You hate Fluffy Ponies. They remind you of your kid brother,
all shit and snot and whining.
>But skipping school so often means you’ve got no credentials
worth a damn, and the Big Mac and Burger King stores are all
full up on employees.
>Can’t buy no shit if you don’t have a job!
>Rich Fucking SOBs with Fluffy Ponies, who are either going on
holidays, into hospital or otherwise don’t have anyone to look
after their genetic abomination shit-factories leave them at the
“Daycare” center.
>Rich Bastards. $50 a day, per Fluffy.
>Fluffies are segregated into Male and Female groups to avoid
Surprise Special Hugs, and given soft fluffy dice, giant plastic
balls and stuffed animals to play with. Soft music such as Lois
Armstrong’s ‘Wonderful World’ is piped in constantly during the
daylight hours. At night-time, everyone gets their own special
blanket, gets manually tucked in to their beds and every single
Fluffy has a night-light and a ‘huggies’ button.
>So glad the Boss doesn’t think you’re capable of handling the
Night Shift. Even for an additional $5 an hour, you wouldn’t be
caught dead sitting there from 6pm to 6am waiting for one of the
shit-machines to have a bad dream, poop themselves and need a
change of beddings and a bath.
>But you do have to change the litter boxes once an hour, every
hour, and the Fluffies get a constant stream of diced fruit and
warm mash. Little bastards just play, eat, shit and babble.
>FUCKING RICH BASTARDS AND THEIR FUCKING IRRITATIN’ SHIT-MACHINE
PETS!
>Fluffies are eating more of the damn Mash, made of potatoes,
corn and carrots, and watching the Wide-Screen TV, chewing with
big, bulging cheeks full of food. As they turn to talk to their
neighbours, the mash spills out, splattering over the floor.
>And you’ll have to clean it up. Fuuuuuuuuck.
>Your lunch was two pieces of white bread with a slice of
cheese. Unbuttered.
>But the thought of eating what a Fluffy Pony finds enjoyable
turns your stomach.
>Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!
>”Soon, Cleveland will be the site of the World’s First
Inter-Species Amusement Park, aptly named ‘Spaghetti Park’,
where both Humans and Fluffy Ponies will be able to play and
relax in complete safety.” Some ugly silicon-enhanced bitch was
saying, waving a hand to what looks like a scaled-down version
of Disney Land, where guys in neon-yellow vests are struggling
to assemble what looks like midget-version carousels and
roller-coasters.
>”The Mayor, Hamon McPhisten, has claimed that the Park, plagued
by under-funding and scandals, will provide Cleveland with a
much needed boost in tourism to help offset the economic
problems currently plaguing the country, and create up to two
hundred jobs once finished.”
>And I’m the fucking Queen of England. You scoff mentally and
turn back to your magazine. Fuck it, this article on how sex can
make your pimples go away is more interesting than this shit.
>Fluffies stare in awe, the delicious mash tumbling out of their
mouths as they listen to the Nice Lady.
>”...due to rigorous demands of the Fluffy Ponies, turf-farms
have been brought online in the outlying industrial districts of
Cleveland to produce new turf on a bi-weekly basis to ensure
that at no point will the park become overgrazed, and I’m told
that towards the end of the month the Spaghetti Park will be
open for business, capable of holding a capacity crowd of Ten
thousand Fluffy Ponies per day....”
>”Sk-sk-sketti wand!” One whispers, its eyes going wide with
wonder.
>”Daddy take Fwuffie dere, mus’ take Fwuffie dere!” Another
cheers happily, bouncing up and down on its tush.
>”....and the contractors have denied us access to the
underground mechanisms of the Park, but according to information
gained via the Freedom of Information act, the entire Park’s
needs will be met by a direct line to the nearby Power Plant,
giving an effectively unlimited amount of power to the Park.”
The Nice Lady continued, gesturing to a magic picture that
displayed a complicated looking machine.
>Fluffies poke friends who are busy gorging themselves on Mash,
telling them to watch the Nice Lady, that she is talking about a
magical place called ‘Sketti Pawk’
“...and this is one of the latest pieces of technology developed
for the Park, an Automated Spaghetti Producing Unit, capable of
holding, cooking and serving enough spaghetti to feed thirty
people, or ninety Fluffy Ponies, in under 2 minutes, with the
underground mechanisms capable of refilling its stock within
five minutes....”
>Fluffies damn near riot in delight, jumping to their feet and
hugging each other, spilling mouthfuls of slobbery Mash down
each other’s chests.
>”SKETTI-PAWK! SKETTI-WAND! SKETTI-PAWK! SKETTI-WAND!
SKETTI-PAWK!” They cheer, hearts full of joy.
>More Spaghetti than they could possibly eat.
>Toys and rides built especially for them.
>Soft, green grass to play on all day.
>They must get their owners to take them there!
>”Awwww, did you miss me, sweety?” Your Hooman coos, tickling
your chin with his finger.
>Hooman’s skin has turned a dark colour. Strange. But he’s still
your Hooman, and you love him.
>”Miss yuu much, Daddy!” You reply, hugging his hand tightly.
“Fwuffie haf soooo much funnehs, moar fwiends dan can count,
dewicious nummehs!”
>”That’s good. I’m glad you enjoyed your holiday, sweety.” Your
Hooman smiles.
>Everything is right with the world!
>.......
>Oh, wait!
>”Daddy! Daddy! Fwuffie heard of Nice Pwace fo’ Fwuffies an’
Hoomans!” You say as your Hooman starts to tuck you into the
Driving Places Seat, his fingers working their magic on the
un-fun clips that hold you in place.
>”Oh? Where’s that?” Your Hooman asks, fiddling with the clip.
“Dammit ... stupid thing won’t stay shut!”
>”Daddy, saw on tewwie! Nice Wady in ‘Cveave-wand’ say Nice
Hoomans makin’ pwace cawed ‘Sketti Pawk’ fo’ Fwuffies an’
Hoomans!” You laugh, wiggling in your seat excitedly. Hate the
Un-Fun Clips, but it’s so much fun to see everything whizzing
past you!
>”Cleveland? Oh, oh, yeah, I heard about that. So, you want to
go to ‘Sketti Pawk’ huh?” Your Hooman laughs and pats you on the
head. “Well, I don’t know ....”
>”Pweeeeease, Daddy! Fwuffy wan see Sketti Pawk, wan pway wit’
Moar Fwuffies, wide twains, pway with bawws!” You beg, giving
him your cutest look. That sometimes works ....
>”Well ... alright, but you do realise, you can’t go alone.” He
says, grinning.
>”Huwway, Daddy come haf How-wee-day wit Fwuffie?” You gasp,
holding your hooves to your face in shock. Daddy goes away a
lot, makes you so sad.
>”Daddy and ... your new Friends!” He laughs, and whistles!
>”We come out now?” A small voice asks hesitantly.
>No .... he couldn’t have .....
>Five more Fluffies crawl out from under a blanket on the back
seat, ears perked up, smiling at you.
>”HUWWAY!” You cheer, clapping your hooves together. “Fwuffie
haf fwiends at home too!”
>”And guess what, I have seven tickets to ..... SKETTI PARK!”
Your Hooman laughs, pulling out long golden paper things.
>THIS.
>IS.
>THE.
>BEST.
>DAY.
>EVER!
#Post#: 287--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 6, 2012, 9:56 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It's a good, cute story, but I would say it has too many overt
references for it to be posted now. We don't want to make it
absolutely clear that the fluffies are going to Cleveland until
a few days before Phase 2.
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