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#Post#: 645--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Mayclore
Date: June 20, 2012, 5:37 pm
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--- Quote from: Lord Anubis link ---
>
> Yeah, that seems about right for Sarah.
>
--- End Quote ---
I desperately wanted to use a 'dustbin of history' line, but
couldn't find a way to fit it.
#Post#: 646--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 20, 2012, 5:51 pm
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--- Quote from: Mayclore link ---
>
> [quote author=Lord Anubis link=topic=4.msg644#msg644
date=1340231735]
> Yeah, that seems about right for Sarah.
>
--- End Quote ---
I desperately wanted to use a 'dustbin of history' line, but
couldn't find a way to fit it.
[/quote]
You got the same feel. Nice work.
I've gotta go back and edit my fuzzy stories.
#Post#: 647--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 20, 2012, 6:08 pm
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I think my most recent story works around not calling fuzzies
"fluffy," but i got my Phase 2 Drew story tweaked from attacking
humans to get to fluffies, now to aggressive distractions. Iay
still need a tweak.
I love fuzzies, want to write with them, but I seem to forget
the rules. Those involved in Fuzzies, perhaps you all could
coordinate and start a Fuzzy Pony 101 thread?
#Post#: 648--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 20, 2012, 6:22 pm
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--- Quote from: Phil Srobeighn link ---
>
> I think my most recent story works around not calling fuzzies
"fluffy," but i got my Phase 2 Drew story tweaked from attacking
humans to get to fluffies, now to aggressive distractions. Iay
still need a tweak.
>
> I love fuzzies, want to write with them, but I seem to forget
the rules. Those involved in Fuzzies, perhaps you all could
coordinate and start a Fuzzy Pony 101 thread?
>
--- End Quote ---
HTML http://www.majhost.com/gallery/LaughinMan/Random/rd_salute.png
#Post#: 654--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 20, 2012, 11:24 pm
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Okay, so Tabula brought up an issue that Phil and I agree needs
to be addressed: not enough Danish chicks and cream soda idea
overlap.
We have an amazing team of fluffy writers assembled here, and
we're all writing about a common event. With all of the ideas
and story suggestions being thrown around by such creative
minds, it's inevitable that some of us end up writing a very
similar story. I need to emphasize that this is not a bad thing.
We all have a unique writing style, we all put different
emphases on different aspects of a story, and there is
absolutely nothing wrong with having two stories that deal with
almost the exact same thing. Another writer already posted a
story about a fluffy herd taking over Spaghetti Tower while you
were still writing your own version? Finish it and post it
anyway. This is a collaborative effort, and sharing our
interpretations of a situation can only help us all improve.
My very first fluffy story came from Ginger Fig's comment on a
story suggesting that someone should write about a fluffy potato
gun. I would never have thought about that on my own. Don't be
afraid that you'll be interpreted as being unoriginal. That's
not the goal of this project. If anything, we should encourage
overlap. It better cements the continuity of the larger
narrative.
Spaghetti Land is a very big park. Cleveland is a big city.
There will be millions of fluffies invading. The parameters are
incredibly broad for a very good reason. We can all do our own
stories and share them here. The only reason you would have to
edit anything is to maintain continuity, not because you wrote
something too similar to another person's story.
So to encourage overlap and reinterpretations of other writer's
ideas, I'm giving myself a challenge: I'm going to reread a few
of the stories already posted here by some of you, and then do
my own version of that story. I will demonstrate that 2 writers
can write using the same premise and have the end result be very
different and no less enjoyable to read.
For science!
#Post#: 655--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 21, 2012, 1:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Alrightey, first challenge story is gonna be using Vanner's
story about the Good Fluffy Ride. He mentioned there was a
'nice' setting where the fluffy only gets lost, instead of
tossed around like a furry bloodbag, so I came up with what that
setting would look like, and wrote it from the owner's
perspective instead of the fluffy's.
**********************
>As a kid, you remember going to Disney World with your parents.
>It was just about the best thing of ever.
>Rides, shops, parades, pretty much everything was magical,
awesome, and unforgettable.
>And now it's your turn to be the parent.
>You're taking Marigold, your green and yellow pegasus fluffy,
to Spaghetti Land.
>It's been advertised as the ultimate land of fluffy enchantment
and entertainment.
>Marigold was raring to go as soon as she saw the commercial.
>”Daddy! Daddy! Wan go Sketti Wand!”
>She was practically vibrating in your lap, where she would
usually lay still and let you pet her as you both watched TV.
>MLP, obviously. Shit be dank, season 6 is the best one so far.
>And not just because Rarity, your waifu, is all over the place.
>You explained to her that it wasn't going to open for a few
months. She didn't know how long that was, nor could she count
that high.
>But she knew what a day was, so you counted off how many days
it would be off of her hooves.
>She giggled each time you booped one of her soft little hooves.
>After more than a few boop rotations, she got the message that
Spaghetti Land was a ways off.
>”Can Mawigowd go when Sketti Wand open?”
>Well, why not. You have some vacation time, and Marigold is
such a sweet little girl. Still...
>”Well, I don't know...”
>You never got anything that easy as a kid, why should she?
>”Pweaaaaaaaaaase, daddy? Mawigowd be good fwuffy! Wuv daddeh!”
>She's desperately hugging your chest and looking up at you with
those big fluffy eyes.
>Not fair, that cuteness could be weaponized.
>”I tell you what, if you're a good little girl from now on,
I'll take you.”
>Marigold's eyes light up like a Christmas tree. She opens her
mouth to squeal in delight.
>You hold up a finger. She shuts her mouth. Holding up a finger
is your signal that you want her to be quiet.
>”But you have to be a good little fluffy, OK? No making poopies
outside the box, no leaving your toys around the house, no
complaining about your food, no staying up past your bedtime.
Alright?”
>She nods vigorously, then pounces on you to hug you some more.
“Wuv daddeh! Best daddeh!”
>Three months later, you and Marigold are taking your first
steps into Spaghetti Land.
>Marigold kept her promise to be good. In fact, she was
absolutely perfect. She'd always put her toys away back in her
play box after she was done. She never said anything about the
food you gave her, even when it was stuff she hated (like
cucumber). And every night at bedtime she'd be tucked in to her
bed, snoozing right on time.
>You're amazed a fluffy could display such self control, so you
decided she earned the best weekend of her life.
>Deluxe package. All rides, all you can eat ticket, discounts at
the shops, etc.
>Expensive as hell, but worth it.
>After all, she is your precious little thing.
>Marigold looks like she's about to burst with sheer excitement.
>As you step past the entrance onto Fluffy Street, you and
Marigold's eyes are immediately drawn to the massive pile of
spaghetti plopped down right in the middle of the park.
>Spaghetti Tower. You could see it from your hotel room.
>It's like the fluffy version of the Magic Kingdom Castle.
>”Waaaaaah, wook, Daddeh! Dat biggest sketti eva!”
>”I think you're right, Marigold.”
>”No fink Mawigowd can eat aw dat sketti!”
>”Don't worry, honey, I'm sure all the other fluffies here will
help you.”
>Everywhere around you are fluffies and their owners.
>Some fluffies are being carried.
>Others are on leashes.
>Some are just roaming free. Not a good idea. Fluffies are slow
and clumsy, but in this crowd, they'll disappear if you so much
as blink. If you're lucky, you'll be able to find them again at
the lost and found.
>If you're not lucky, well, they have a new fluffy shop right
over there.
>Well, that's their owner's problem.
>On your left you can see a shop for fluffy paraphernalia.
>Perfect, you're definitely going to want to put some ID on
Marigold before she gets herself lost.
>You let Marigold pick out a very pretty white collar, and you
get a tag with her name and your phone number attached to it.
>You also get a leash for her, one that can clip to your belt
loop. That way, you're both able to walk freely, and she can't
scamper off too far.
>Marigold is overjoyed with her new leash, even though she can't
see it when it's on.
>The tag jingles softly as she waddles around.
>Leaving the shop, you see a place to get fluffies registered
and tagged across the street.
>Maybe later. She's not going to like getting chipped, so you'll
save it for after she's enjoyed a few rides.
>Speaking of which...
>You see further down the street is a building labeled “GOOD
FLUFFY RIDE”
>The line's not too long, either.
>Well, hot diggidy, what are we waiting for?
>”Come on, Marigold! Want to go on the good fluffy ride?”
>Marigold trots alongside you, attached to her leash.
>”Mawigowd good fwuffy! Wan go on good fwuffy wide!”
>You wait in line for about ten minutes.
>Marigold spends that time gazing in awe at all the stuff the
park has to offer.
>She's probably making a mental list of all the stuff she wants
to go see next.
>You're guessing it's everything.
>Well, you have the whole weekend and Monday, so no rush.
>You reach the front of the line, and an attendant instructs
you.
>"Here are your 3D glasses. Put them on, then please step into
the booth to manually evacuate your fluffy into the bin before
entering into the Good Fluffy Lesson. Be sure to select your
training intensity and say your fluffy's name into the
microphone for the ride," says the human.
>Oh, it's a training thing. Must be for all those spoiled brats
who cry if they don't get spaghetti.
>Your Marigold doesn't really need this, but oh well, you're
already at the front, and she's excited.
>You step into the building and you see a booth with a raised
grate. Hanging on the booth wall is what looks like the top part
of a stethoscope that attaches to the wall.
>A plaque underneath it explains.
>”For those owners who are unwilling or unable to apply enough
pressure to forcibly empty their fluffy's bowels, please use the
sonic emitters provided.”
>What the?
>You put Marigold on the grate and tell her to make poopies.
>She shifts around uncomfortably. “Whewe wittabox?”
>”This is a litterbox, honey. It's alright.”
>Marigold nods, reassured, and strains as hard as she can.
>Not much comes out.
>Time to try out the sonic emitters.
>Taking the emitter off of its wall hook, you put a bud in each
ear.
>Marigold's eyes go wide, and then suddenly she starts pooping.
A lot.
>After a few seconds, nothing more comes out.
>Huh. That's pretty effective. Must be emitting a fluffy brown
note.
>You take the emitters off and put them back.
>”Make good poopies?”
>”Yes, very good poopies, now let's go.”
>You and Marigold exit the booth and go further into the
building to find a console with a few buttons and a microphone.
>The inscription says, “Please select your preferred level of
fluffy training and clearly state their name.”
>The difficulties range from easy to extreme.
>No need to start a good fluffy like Marigold off with extreme
training. You press easy and say her name into the microphone.
>Down a few steps is a cart with a seat for people and a grate
with a glass cover that's obviously meant for a fluffy.
>An attendant helps to sit Marigold properly on her seat, and
puts on her 3D glasses.
>”Daddeh! Evwyfing wook funny!”
>You sit down in your own chair and put on your 3D glasses, and
the cart starts moving through a dark hallway.
>You see lots of CG fluffies lighting up the darkness, singing.
>"Be gud fow you mummies an daddehs!"
>"Dey keep you saf an wam!"
>"Aways wisten to you mummies an daddehs!"
>"Ow you wish you nevah be bown!"
>Oh, so it's kinda like the Muppets Show ride from Disney World.
>Bitchin'.
>The room goes dark again, then lights up as you see an owner
and her fluffy in a house.
>That is a seriously cute looking fluffy.
>The owner ain't half bad herself.
>"Now, now, fluffy, be sure not to break things!. Don't make not
pretties on the rug," says the owner. "You make not pretties on
the rug, you'll get the sorry box!"
>Marigold is completely absorbed into the performance.
>You gotta admit, this is really good 3D.
>"Isn't that right... MARIGOLD?"
>So that's why they had you say her name earlier.
>Not a very good mix. They did some audio effect to make sound
at least somewhat like the lady, but now she sounds kinda like
Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Bros. whenever she says Marigold's
name.
>Marigold falls for it.
>”Waaaah, how know fwuffy name, nice wady?”
>The owner ignores her and looks at her fluffy.
>"I nawt bweak tings!" says pretty fluffy. "I nawt haf bad
poopies!"
>"Now I'm going to go out, fluffy. You behave with your good
friend... MARIGOLD... okay? Don't go outside, or the monsters
will get you."
>The screen fluffy walks closer to the cart, where Marigold is
watching with rapt attention.
>The fluffy smiles at Marigold. “Wan pway game?”
>Marigold laughs. “Wuv pway! Wan pway game!”
>She tries to reach out and hug the 3D fluffy, but her hooves
just thump against the glass.
>The owner walks off screen, and you hear the sound of a door
close.
>The fluffy runs over to a table and kicks it until a vase falls
off the side and shatters to pieces on the ground.
>Marigold is horrified. “Why new fwend do dat? Nice wady say no
bweak tings!”
>"Cause momeh nawt no noffin!" says pretty fluffy. "Watch dis!"
>Now the 3D fluffy is shitting on the carpet. It's a pretty big
deuce, too. She probably just lost a pound.
>"No wisten to mommies!" she says. "Why wisten to mommies? Wets
go outside!"
>The fluffy runs towards the back door, and the ride follows her
as she pushes the door open and runs outside.
>Marigold starts getting scared.
>”No, fwend! Nice wady say no go outside, no make bad poopies!
No wan pway game no mo!”
>But she can't stop the ride as it rolls her outside, where the
3D fluffy is now rolling around in the grass laughing.
>"Mummah say nawt go outside but mummeh dumb!" says pretty
fluffy. "Why wisten to mummah?"
>Marigold turns to you.
>”Daddy, pwease make new fwend be good fwuffy!”
>You just shake your head. “She's not my fluffy, I can't tell
her what to do.”
>Marigold turns back to her new virtual friend.
>Suddenly the sky starts turning dark. The 3D fluffy and
Marigold share the same worried expression.
>”Wan go back in house.” The 3D fluffy decides.
>The ride follows as she tries to head for the house, but when
she turns around, the house isn't there.
>She's alone on a wide hill, with no signs of life as far as the
eye can see.
>The 3D fluffy starts panicking.
>”Whewe house? Whewe Momma? Fwuffy scawed, no wan pway outside!”
>She runs around, looking for anything that isn't grass or
blackened sky.
>Lightning flashes, and both Marigold and the 3D fluffy flinch
in terror.
>”Fwuffy sowwy! Fwuffy shoudn't bweak Momma tings! No make bad
poopies! Fwuffy should haf wistened to Momma!”
>The 3D fluffy is crying her eyes out, running down the hill in
search of shelter from the scary storm.
>Lightning flashes and thunder booms, and each time, Marigold
lets out a squeak of fear.
>”Fwuffy should haf wistened to Momma! Fwuffy sowwy! Now fwuffy
wost, neba fin' home again!”
>The fluffy stops for a moment and turns to Marigold.
>”You good fwuffy?”
>Marigold nervously nods her head.
>”Wha' good fwuffies do, MARIGOLD?”
>”Good f-f-fwuffies w-wisten to Mommas and D-Daddehs...”
>”Awways wisten to Mommas and Daddehs, good fwuffy!”
>The 3D fluffy turns around and starts running again, calling
out for her owner. The ride doesn't follow her, and the room
slowly fades to black.
>The ride rolls through a curtain to the exiting area.
>The glass walls lift, and Marigold runs to your arms, hugging
you as tight as her little body can.
>”Mawigowd wuv Daddeh! Do wa Daddeh say!”
>She's crying a little. You cuddle her in your arms and assure
you that you love her and that she's safe.
>The attendant at the end takes the 3D glasses from the two of
you.
>”Those are some impressive effects, especially the CG fluffy.
So why do you guys have this ride right at the front of the
park?”
>”It helps gets the fluffies in an obedient mood. It's
especially helpful for the bratty fluffies. Scares them straight
so they're not as much of a pain.”
>You nod. Makes sense.
>”So if that was the nice setting, what's it like on extreme?”
>The attendant takes a good look at you gently holding your
fluffy like a baby as Marigold sniffles and nuzzles your
shoulder, mumbling “Wuv Daddeh...”
>”Man, you're a good owner with a good fluffy. You really don't
want to know.”
>He's probably right.
>You ask him for recommendations and he throws out a few rides
that sound promising.
>You slip the guy five bucks for the info and walk through the
exit.
>There's a small sitting area that leads back out into the park.
You sit down and let Marigold compose herself.
>”Honey, you okay?”
>Marigold looks up at you with sad eyes.
>Ah, more weaponized cuteness.
>She's a war crime waiting to happen. An adorable little war
crime.
>”Wha happen to nawty fwuffy?”
>You think up a lie.
>”She found her home, and her owner was very angry. The fluffy
got the sorry stick and no dinner.”
>Marigold calms down a bit after hearing the fluffy was safe.
“Daddeh, can we go back to Sketti Wand?”
>You smile. “Of course, sweety.”
>You reattach her leash and you both walk out.
>Her face lights up again when she realizes she's back in the
park.
>Time for another ride. Preferably one that makes her smile.
>That guy did recommend the Fluffy Theater of Tomorrow...
**************************
Man, I remember when I thought 5 pages was long for one of my
stories. Now it's pretty much the norm.
#Post#: 656--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 21, 2012, 7:44 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Lord Anubis link ---
> Man, I remember when I thought 5 pages was long for one of my
stories. Now it's pretty much the norm.
--- End Quote ---
I know this feel.
Great story Mr. Anubis. It really builds on the world, even if
the settings have all been seen and the premises have been used
before. Well done. Your use of sensory descriptions,
especially sound words, really put me there with the characters.
#Post#: 660--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 21, 2012, 8:03 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Something to say guys.
If I continue to get 503 errors from Deripibooru, I'll
unfortunately be 'blocked' from continuing on. So what I will do
is start to mass-upload stories to here and, if they get the
tick, I'll leave them in your hands (Hooves?) to post when the
time is right.
Sent my second email to clovertheclever@derpibooru.org and still
no response .... I'm getting worried.
#Post#: 666--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 21, 2012, 11:33 am
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Maybe it's something to do with your Australian IP.
#Post#: 667--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 21, 2012, 12:44 pm
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I was fine up until a few days ago ..... Nnnnnnnngh and now I'm
worried.
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