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#Post#: 453--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Tabula_Rojo
Date: June 11, 2012, 11:53 pm
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pretty neat, you lost me a bit during the explanation of the
apparatus, a little dry, but I enjoyed the testing part
and of course little Sweetheart, I sure do hope she makes it out
of Cleveland unscathed 'A'
#Post#: 455--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 12, 2012, 12:21 am
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--- Quote from: Tabula_Rojo link ---
>
> pretty neat, you lost me a bit during the explanation of the
apparatus, a little dry, but I enjoyed the testing part
>
--- End Quote ---
Yeah, I couldn't think of a way to make a spaghetti making
machine sound interesting. I just wanted to establish that it's
automated and very efficient.
--- Quote ---
>
> and of course little Sweetheart, I sure do hope she makes it
out of Cleveland unscathed 'A'
>
--- End Quote ---
1. Apply firm pressure to the heartstrings
2. Tug
I don't think anybody here would object if she made it to safety
with her owner.
#Post#: 456--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 12, 2012, 6:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Lord Anubis link ---
>
> [quote author=Phil Srobeighn link=topic=4.msg448#msg448
date=1339471917]
> As a lover of cooking, I would like to see a stage in the
SSSS9001 rolling the spaghetti thin over several passes.
--- End Quote ---
Did I miss a step in the spaghetti making process? I can add
another step.
[/quote]
Generally, with a noodle as fine as spaghetti, you would make
several passes through a pasta press to get a thin layer of
dough before cutting. And I mean several passes - even for
fluffy-grade I'd suggest two passes through a press.
#Post#: 461--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 12, 2012, 9:40 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Phil Srobeighn link ---
>
> Generally, with a noodle as fine as spaghetti, you would make
several passes through a pasta press to get a thin layer of
dough before cutting. And I mean several passes - even for
fluffy-grade I'd suggest two passes through a press.
>
--- End Quote ---
Alrightey, I'll amend the story to mention that.
#Post#: 469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: fluff_n_stuff
Date: June 12, 2012, 3:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
<edit> Minor edit to make things scarier, and to clarify what's
going on.
Whoooo wants a story about the "Good Fluffy Ride?"
>You are a blue fluffy unicorn named Bravo, and today is the
greatest day of your life.
>Your daddy took you to Spaghetti Land!
>With a giant mountain of spaghetti right in the middle of the
park, and all the fluffy friends you could ever want, you'll
remember today as the greatest day ever.
>You and your daddy are waiting in a line for something or
other. You don't care what, there's just so much to see!
>Fluffy friends gather around their daddy and mommies feet,
giving them huggies and thanking them.
>You step up to the stairs and to onto the platform where a
younger human stops your daddy.
>"here's your 3d glasses," says the human. Put them on, then
please step into the booth to manually evacuate your fluffy into
the bin before entering into the Good Fluffy Lesson," he says.
>"E-bac-u-date?" you say. "Wah dat?"
>"Be sure to select your training intensity and say your
fluffies name into the microphone for the ride," says the human.
>Your daddy picks you up and gives you big huggies! You love
huggies!
>Except he's squeezing you too hard! You're going to make bad
poopies!
>"Nuu! No wan make bad poopies!"
>"It's okay," says Daddy. "You made poopies in the box."
>You sniff the box. "Bawk no smeww pwetty."
>"It sure doesn't," says Daddy. He pushes something on the wall
and says "Bravo."
>"You wan Bwafo?"
>"Let's see what 'Extreme' training is," says your
daddy."Alright, get a seat," says Daddy. He puts you in a
special sitty thing with invisible walls like on the door to
outside and a floor like the air blower!
>The other human puts a pair of goggles over your head, and then
you can't see anything!
>"DAWK!"you protest. "DADDEH IT DAWK!"
>You're trying to take off the goggles when your sitty thing
starts to move!
>"Daddeh! Sitty ting movin!"
>"It's a ride silly," he says. "It's like watching TV, only it's
real."
>Silly Daddy. Everyone knows that TV isn't real.
>As the sitty thing moves along, you pass into a hallway where
dozens of fluffies are singing and playing!
>"Be gud fow you mummies an daddehs!"
>"Dey keep you saf an wam!"
>"Aways wisten to you mummies an daddehs!"
>"Ow you wish you nevah be bown!"
>The happy dancing and singing fluffies disappear behind their
hooves as the room grows dark.
>A pretty girl fluffy and her mommy appear just a few feet away!
>"Now, now, fluffy," says the Mommy, "Be sure not to break
things!."
>You can't help but stare at the pretty fluffy's mane and soft
fluff.
>"Don't make not pretties on the rug," says the Mommy. "You make
not pretties on the rug, you'll get the sorry box!" then the
mommy looks at you.
>"Isn't that right... BRAVO?"
>You start to panic. How did that mommy human know your name?
>"I nawt bweak tings!" says pretty fluffy. "I nawt haf bad
poopies!"
>"Now I'm going to go out, fluffy. You behave with your good
friend... BRAVO... okay? Don't go outside, or the monsters will
get you."
>The pretty girl fluffy comes up to your sitty thing and runs
along side. You run up to her and bonk your head against the
invisible wall on the sitty thing.
>"Daddeh!" you protest. "Wan meet fwuffy!"
>"Just watch," he says.
>The fluffy looks around for a moment, and smiles at you. "Wan
pway game?"
>You love games. You want to play with the pretty fluffy mare.
"Wan pway! Wan pway!"
>As soon as Mommy leaves the room, pretty fluffy runs over to
the table and knocks a vase off it!
>"Why do dat?" you ask.
>"Cause momeh nawt no noffin!" says pretty fluffy. "Watch dis!"
>She scrunches up her face and makes a not pretty right on the
carpet.
>"No wisten to mommies!" she says. "Why wisten to mommies? Wets
go outside!"
>Suddenly, you're not in the house anymore! It's green and the
sky is blue and the grassies are all around your friend.
>"Mummah say nawt go outside but mummeh dumb!" says pretty
fluffy. "Why wisten to mummah?"
>Yeah, why should you listen to mommy? Outside is fun!
Everything is bright and happy and besties, mommies and daddies
are always telling you to do boring things.
>You're starting to like your new friend and their ideas!
>But there's something wrong!
>The sky is getting darker and there are shadows creeping up on
pretty fluffy.
>"New fwien!" you yell. "Wook out! Munsteh!"
>Something reaches from the darkness and snatches up the pretty
fluffy. You puff up your cheeks at it, to try to scare it away.
>Then it starts laughing. It's scary evil laugh, and the pretty
fluffy is crying.
>The something smashes pretty fluffy against the glass, and
screeches loud!
>"ThIs LiTtLe fLuFfIe DiDn'T LiStEn To MoMmy!" shrieks the
voice. "dO yOu KnOw WhAt hApPeNs tO fLuFfIes tHaT DiDn'T LiStEn
To MoMmIeS aNd DaDdIeS?"
>Pretty fluffy is thrown back into the grassies, which aren't
grassie anymore, but writhing black tentacles that reach out and
grab the pretty fluffy
>"No wike dis game!" cries pretty fluffy. "Shoul haf wisten to
mummie!"
>The dark scariness is all around you now. Red things with scary
evil eyes float around you, and your daddy is gone from the
sitty thing!
>"DADDEH!" you cry, wetting yourself in terror. "NO WIKE DIS
GAME! NO WAN EBIL TINGS!"
>The creature starts tearing out pretty fluffies fluff as she
shrieks and cries in pain. She disappears for a moment as
boo-boo juice splatters on the glass wall in front if you.
>The creatures slams Pretty Fluffy up against the glass. You can
see a crack in the glass getting bigger as he slams he face into
it again and again!
>Pretty Fluffy's pretty blue eyes are gone, torn from her
sockets. Her face is leaking boo-boo juice as he teeth dangle
from her broken jaw.
>Now you lose control of your poopie place and make bad poopies
into the grate.
>Her leggies are going the wrong way. Her pretty little wings
flutter on the ground as the evil creature tears them off her
back.
>"Shou haf wisten to mummie and daddeh!" she sobs before the
evil something tears her head from her body.
>Pretty fluffy's head keeps screaming "WISTEN TO MUMMIE AND
DADDEH!" as the creature crushes it between his glowing yellow
teeth.
>Then the evil creatures see you.
> They start swarming around the invisible wall, banging on it,
trying to get through the glass.
>"NUUUU!" you cry trying to escape the invisible walls. "I
PWOMISE WISTEN TO DADDEH! DUN HUWT FWUFFY! DUN HUWT FWUFFY! I
GOOD FWUFFY!"
>"Are you a good fluffy, ...BRAVO...?" asks the evil thing.
>"Bwafo good fwuffy!" you sob. "Bwafo good fwuffy! Dun huwt
Bwafo!"
>"And what do good fluffies do?" asks the evil thing.
>"gud... fwuffies... wisten... to mummie and daddehs," you sob,
trying to hide behind your hoofsies.
>In a flash all the evil things are gone, and there's your daddy
sitting next to you just outside the invisible wall with a
smile.
>"That's right," says the voice. "Always listen to your Mommies
and Daddies."
>The invisible walls lift, and you run to Daddy. He's got sad
water running down his face, and he's coughing.
>"Wuv Daddeh!" you say as you hug his leg. "Do wah daddeh sez!
Dun wan be bad fwuffy!"
>"Oh my god that was hilarious," says Daddy to the human
standing there. "That was way better than Avatar!"
>"Yeah, the Extreme is a bit much, but hilarious as hell." says
the other human. "The 'nice' setting just has the fluffy getting
lost."
>"You want to go on another ride?" asks Daddy.
>You are about to jump up and down before you remember the
lesson you just learned.
>"Yoo wan go on wide?" you ask. "Do wah dadeh sez."
>"Sure," says Daddy. "Let's get in line for this ride again."
>"Please step into the booth, and manually evacuate your fluffy
into the bin before entering into the Good Fluffy Lesson," says
the other human.
#Post#: 470--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 12, 2012, 4:34 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Bahahaha, tough love, but love nonetheless. I love it.
You know what I thought of when reading the bit about
evacuation? Doting owners aren't going to want to hurt their
fluffies, so there should be some sort of way to make a fluffy
poop that doesn't involve hurting it or scaring it. Maybe
headphones that get put on its ears, and then a music player
emits a low frequency pulse that makes a fluffy's bowels loosen.
Then the owner only has to supply a soft squeeze to get it all
out.
#Post#: 476--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Tabula_Rojo
Date: June 12, 2012, 9:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I noticed that evacuating the bowels didn't really help matters,
Bravo still shit himself.... and no one cleaned it up
#Post#: 479--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Lord Anubis
Date: June 12, 2012, 9:30 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Tabula_Rojo link ---
>
> I noticed that evacuating the bowels didn't really help
matters, Bravo still shit himself.... and no one cleaned it up
>
--- End Quote ---
The story mentions that his seat is a grate. Any poop just falls
through, presumably to a container. The manual evacuation gets
most of it out, but unless a fluffy has been starving for days,
they always have some left. Better a small mess than a big one,
right?
#Post#: 498--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: PhilSrobeighn
Date: June 13, 2012, 12:27 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I love that ride. Creepy as hell, as can be any "scary" kid
ride. I can see it in my head. Great story! ;D
Well, here's mine. I will include a link when I post it - I
think the one I have now will be good, but I will need to watch
it all the way through with sound before I post it, and I won't
have the time before next week.
>Be a fluffy pony owner
>Your wife and you have a fluffy pony a piece, Font and Lexi
>(Lexi being short for Lexicon)
>You consider yourself good disciplinarians
>You have put in time with a sorry stick and a sorry box
>From it, you have gotten good behavior
>No demands for certain foods, no poop outside the litterbox
>At least most of the time
>You try not to spoil them
>But now you have dropped $218 for two passes to Spaghetti Land
>Not to mention a great deal of cash for travel and lodging
>Hotels normally upcharge an unreasonable amount for fluffy
lodgings
>Cleveland-area hotels seem to be even worse
>High demand for the opening week of the world’s first fluffy
theme park
>Low supply of fluffy-friendly hotels anywhere
>basiceconmoics.pdf
>It has been a long day already
>Font and Lexi hit the ground running
>Every fluffy wants to get their paws on the Spaghetti Mountain
>You’ve heard complaints all day from owners
>“What? You ate half an hour ago!”
>“Pwease daddy, wan mowe sketties fwom sketti moun’in”
>Argument, but the fluffy always wins
>Owner drops another $10 into the kiosk for another serving
>Glad you bought a $35 all-you-can-eat pass
>Had breakfast first thing
>You and your wife tried the spaghetti from the servers
>Font and Lexi got an extra half a serving a piece
>While you went to one of the vendors around the food area
>Got yourself some good human food
>See a couple of humans eating the spaghetti with their fluffies
>Either they want the all-you-can-eat or are encouraging the
fluffies
>Not that the fluffies seem they need the encouraging
>You guess they might actually like the stuff
>You never cared for Spaghetti-O’s, you figure this might be
similar
>Trip to the litterbox after breakfast
>Squeezed out poop just to make sure
>Then hit the rides
>Started tame with the merry-go-round
>The gentle up and down motion of the G3 ponies gets your
fluffies used to rides
>Step it up to a swing ride
>Both cheer and say “Wook mummy! Wook daddy! Fwuffy fwy!
Weeeeee!”
>They love every moment
>Notice a few pegasus fluffies are getting back in line over and
over
>Thrill of a life for most pegasai fluffies
>After that, your fluffies are real daredevil enthusiasts
>They run about wanting to try everything
>A rollercoaster that barely tops off over your head
>A lift and drop ride no higher than a basketball goal that
doesn’t really drop them
>Ferris wheel, boat ride, train
>Snack, the midway
>It’s not even a proper lunch time and your feet are killing you
>“What go on nex?” Font asks
>“Wan go wowwah coastah ‘gain!” cheers Lexi
>Check your map of the park
>You don’t want to trudge all the way over to the other side for
another hour line
>Not until you rest your feet for a while
>Nearby is a ride with no line
>Described in the map as a moving theatre of animatronics
>You suggest a story-ride with artificially inflated enthusiasm
>“YAY! STOWY WIDE!” cheer both fluffies
>Walk to the large, round building
>Several signs advertise the ride as a long show
>Ask kindly that you “manually evacuate” your fluffy
>Which means squeeze the poop out of them
>The doors open after a few minutes
>You find a seat
>After a few minutes, the lights dim just a little
>Enough for the fluffies to say “Ooooh, dawk!”
>Not enough to elicit more than one or two “Waaah! Scawwy!
Wights go away!”
>A pleasant, older-sounding voice is piped into the room
>“Welcome, owners and fluffies, to the Fluffy Theatre of
Tomorrow
>Presented by Fluffy Brother's Engineering, LLC
>For your safety, and the safety of others, please remain seated
during the show
>If you need to evacuate a fluffy, pull-out litter trays are
below each seat.”
>As with most of the rides, the same message repeats
>Except read by a fluffy in fluffy-speak
>“Hewwo fwuffies! We gonna watch pwetty show wit nice hoomans!
>Pwease sit in Fwuffy seat and stay dewe tiw wight come back
>If need make not-pretties, ask hooman to put you in
good-poopies box
>Good-poopies box will come magicawy fwom seat on the fwow!
>Dis nice wide, enjowy da show!”
>There is a much-needed pause as most fluffies want to poop in
the magic box
>Font and Lexi included
>They giggle as the magic box is replaced
>You smile as you hear tiny fans clearing the air
>Suddenly, you hear a whir of motors and the whole theatre
starts moving
>And throughout the speaker system you hear a catchy song
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy,
And tomorrow is going to be the same!
Today we have fun at work and play,
We make things better every day,
So when tomorrow comes everything will be
Even better for you and me!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy
Each and every day!
>As the song plays, the theatre rotation settles on a stage
>The scene is a fence in a yard between two houses with large
windows
>A man in a lab coat, red baseball cap, and reflective
sunglasses greets you
>You can tell by the motions and facial expressions that it is
animatronics
>Still, really good animatronics
>“Hello fluffies! Oh, and hello to mommy and daddy too!”
>The recording has a nice southern drawl
>“Welcome to my neighborhood! I am a fluffy pony scientist!
>Wait, but you don’t know what a fluffy pony is!
>Because it is years ago, and fluffies are just being made!
>Wait, you know what a fluffy is? How wonderful!”
>The script is well-written to deal with fluffy reactions
>It eases the fluffies into pretending they are in the past
>“We are thinking of everything here with fluffy ponies
>They are happy ponies that know how to talk!
>People are going to be very happy to have them as pets!”
>A light comes on behind the window to the left to show a happy
owner and fluffy
>“Fwen!” says the robotic fluffy
>“Yes, good fluffy!” says the robotic owner
>The narrator says “We’ve made them to be loving creatures.
>When they get sad or hurt, do you know what they’ll ask for?”
>There’s a fluffy looking sad that appears in the right window
>The owner is holding it kindly
>“Fwuffy needs hugs!” the soundtrack plays
>You feel a tug at your side
>Lexi is giving you a big hug
>Her eyes are still wide and staring straight at the stage
>“These creatures are great, and have good litter training!”
>The left window lights up again, showing a fluffy moving to a
box
>“Uh-oh! Need poopies!” the fluffy says
>The lights go out and you hear an “Uh-oh! Sowwy!”
>The fluffies gasp and giggle at the pretend fluffy’s dilemma
>“Well, it’ll be okay,” assures the narrating scientist
>“We’ve got a great treat though! We’ve made fluffies to love a
certain food!
>Can you guess what it is?”
>The fluffies in the audience shout “SKETTIES!”
>A fluffy in the right window is shown in front of a plate of
spaghetti
>Shaped exactly like Spaghetti Mountain, notably.
>“Yay! Fwuffy have sketties!” the soundtrack plays.
>“Yep,” the narrator concludes, “These little toys are
wonderful.
>And things are going to keep getting better for them, because
after all…”
>And the song starts up again
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy,
And tomorrow is going to be the same!
Today we have fun at work and play,
We make things better every day,
So when tomorrow comes everything will be
Even better for you and me!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy
Each and every day!
>The scene continues through two more rotations
>Each one paints a sugar-coated picture of the brief history of
fluffy pony
>The second shows feral herds with a good smarty friend
>A large African-American arresting abusers
>The third is showing more modern fluffy relations
>The fluffies in the audience are enraptured with the fluffies
on stage
>You find yourself enjoying the story too
>You remember when fluffies first came on the scene
>How they were prone to drowning, pooping everywhere
>You swore you’d never get one
>But as time marched on, things got better
>Techniques in breeding and training made fluffies better
disciplined
>Fluffy herds are learning to stay safe underground too
>Some of them have even taken up basket-weaving
>Some of them build bracelets and sell them on the streets
>You watch the third scene wind down
>One of the underground feral fluffies is in a tête-à-tête with
the narrator
>“Don’t worry fluffy, we’re working to make things better!”
>“You weaw asshowl, mistah.”
>“Oh, poor fluffy. Hey everyone, let’s cheer him up by singing
our song!”
>The song has been repeated so many times, even fluffies have it
down
>And you’ve got such a nice feeling about the progress of
fluffies, you want to sing
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy,
And tomorrow is going to be the same!
Today we have fun at work and play,
We make things better every day,
So when tomorrow comes everything will be
Even better for you and me!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy;
Today is a happy fluffy day!
It’s a wonderful day to be a fluffy
Each and every day!
>Now the scene shows the future
>At least as envisioned by Fluffy Brother's Engineering, LLC
>Products of the future abound
>A television that broadcasts a sub-frequency understandable by
fluffies
>The fluffies now converse about politics and world affairs
>A fluffy automated kitchen
>The fluffies now make their own Spaghetti-mountain shaped
spaghetti
>Video games so intuitive that fluffies play along with owners
>“Wook, Dawe,” an animatronic fluffy says, “Fwuffy scowe ovah
nine towsan!”
>“What? Nine thousand?” says the animatronic host
>The fluffy kitchen of the future translates that into a
spaghetti order
>Starts spraying spaghetti
>(straight up, you notice, so that it all lands in the sink
again)
>“Well,” the robotic host says, tipping his Jetsons-esque red
cap
>“That’s what tomorrow will bring!”
>“Hooway!” cheer the fluffy-bots on stage
>“Hooway!” cheer the fluffies in the audience
>And so the scene moves on, song and all, once again
>The lights come back up, and you gather your fluffies
>Employees of Spaghetti Land come in to clean up any messes
>Your feet feel much better
>Good rest
>The next day, your fluffies are getting worried about the trip
home
>Have them snug in their fluffy-carriers
>“Daddy, we scawed!”
>“Come gif huggies!”
>Tell them you can’t take them out
>They nearly start to cry
>Just then, you get an idea
>You whistle the first few bars of the song from Fluffy Theatre
of Tomorrow
>The fluffies perk up and sing
Is a wonfuw day to be fwuffy;
T’day is happy fwuffy day!
Is a wonfuw day to be a fwuffy,
And t’mowwow gonna be da same!
T’day we have fun at wowk and pway,
We make tings bettah evewy day,
So when t’morrow comes evewyting’ll be
Even bettah fow ou and me!
Is a wodfuw day to be a fwuffy;
T’day is a happy fwuffy day!
Is a wonfuw day to be a fwuffy
Each an evewy day!
Video to be linked:
]
HTML http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbU1DSIjKA4]
HTML http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbU1DSIjKA4
#Post#: 520--------------------------------------------------
Re: Story Bits
DIR By: Giant_Neckbeard
Date: June 14, 2012, 8:44 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Okay, so just so I'm 100% accurate with the 'Fuzzy' Ponies.
Silent, except for when a Human asks them something or they are
injured, at which point they suggest the Owner buys a new Fuzzy
Pony.
Bigger and stronger than a Fluffy Pony. So .... a Fluffy Pony
stands at what height, a foot at the shoulder? Fuzzy Ponies
stand a foot and how many inches?
Are they all Unicorns, or are all three 'breeds' represented?
Not able to reproduce.
They speak coherently, and when following Order 105 (or is it
109?) they will attempt to covertly murder any Fluffy Ponies in
sight and either hide the body or blame the death on a random
accident?
Exactly how 'smart' are they?
Are they 'Wi-Fi' connected like it was suggested? I could fully
see them having microchips in their brains that allow the
manufacturors to keep tabs on them and adjust their marketing
programs accordingly .... but what happens when other signals
start interferring? Fuzzy Ponies get the Internet dumped into
their Heads and become Skynet 2.0? A giant quasi-organic
super-computer that adopts an "I, Robot" approach to Humanity?
I want to make damn sure I'm getting them right before I start
banging away at the next practice story.
>By the Mayor of Cleveland, Hamon Mcphisten.
>Got the nick-name Ham-Fisting by a political rival. hate that
goddamn nickname.
>Doing a rehersal for the advertisments for this god-awful Park.
>Spaghetti Land, they called it.
>For the love of .....
>Well, that new guy on the board said it would draw Fluffy Pony
enthusiasts from all over the country.
>Couple of your long-term advisors agreed ......
>Did some quiet probing of the market, decided it was worth the
gamble ....
>Hired a Professional Fluffy Pony Trainer to get a team of a
four-dozen Fluffy Ponies ready for the advertisements. Get them
to say the right lines at the right cues, make it all
sugar-sweet and hug-fetishism.
>Privately, hate the damn critters, but Cleveland has been
hemorraging money for years now. If something doesn't buck the
trend, well .... could become a ghost town.
>Ah, here come the little shit-machines now.
>Trainer is a short, skinny little guy. Dreadlocks, tie-dyed
shirt, sandals .... holy shit.
>The 60's called, It wants the Gunja back.
>"A'right, man, you jus' stand there, get yer scissors on the
ribbon, man, and you cut that thing when you see me give the
signal, man. This is gonna be so awesome, dude!" The trainer
grins at you, showing gold-capped teeth.
>Jesus H Christ, you're paying this man $20 an hour .... if this
is some sort of 'give my buddy a job' scheme from the council
workers, heads will roll!
>Grunt and take your position at the ribbon set up at the
entrance to the building site, ornate scissors in hand, and your
well-practiced fake 'I'm honest and reliable' smile in place.
>"Oh-kay little dudes! Do your thing!" The trainer shouts, and
the Fluffy Ponies run .... away.
>The fuck?
>Oh, they're getting into position.
>Little fuzz-buckets march forwards in a row of four, being led
by Smarty Friends, you assume.
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, Fwuffies wuv da Sketti Pawk!" One of
the Smarty Friends sings in a voice that makes your ears bleed.
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, so much fun in Sketti Pawk!" The
Next chips in, oddly enough just soon enough after the first to
make it seem ... good. Ears are still bleeding though!
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, wots of bawws in Sketti Pawk!" The
Third sings, sounding a little unsure of herself.
>"Sketti Land! Sketti Land! Aww Fwuffies come to Sketti Pawk!"
The Fourth is almost shouting, trying to rush past his friends.
>"No, no little dude! Sing with your friends, man!" The Trainer
says loudly, clapping his hands to get the Fluffies attention.
"Gotta be part of the harmony, man, don't harsh the vibes!"
>"Buh it Sketti Land! Wan gu now!" The Fourth, and Loudest
Smarty Friend whines loudly.
>"It's not ready, little dude. Gotta be mellow, go with the
flow, wait, little dude." Trainer replies.
>"Awwwwwww." Fluffies all whine.
>"Now, go back and do it agian, little dudes! This time, in
harmony, feel the flow, be awesome to each other, man? You dig?"
Trainer grins, showing off his gold-capped teeth again.
>"We unnastan', Dude!" The Fluffies yell back, and shuffle back
to their position.
>Pat your hip-flask in your pocket and sigh. It's gonna be a
loooooong day.
When the Spaghetti Land Theme Park opens, ..... thousands of
Ferals show up, following the road into Cleveland.
Locals think it's some kind of publisity stunt and try to stay
out of the way.
Tourists/Patrons think it's god-damned awesome and follow the
Ferals on foot.
Abusers have screaming orgasms in the street at the smorgasboard
of offerings waiting for them.
>By Ham McPhisten.
>Sweating bullets right now.
>Only supposed to be thirty Fluffy Ponies, well trained by that
freaky little Stoner to do exactly what the script says.
>Instead, there's close to a thousand Fluffy Ponies bunched up
in front of the gates, begging, hugging, cheering.
>"SKETTI LAND! SKETTI LAND! AWW DAM NUMMIES IN SKETTI LAND!"
They shout, dancing on their stubby little legs, their Foals
sitting up on their backs and squealing in hoy.
>The fuck is this? You think to yourself.
>"Uh ...... sir?" An employee whispers to you, looking nervously
at the Herd. "Cameras from the major networks are rolling. We
have to either open the park or declare an emergency...."
>This is a fucking nightmare.
>Let the Ferals in and watch them destroy the only hope of
Cleveland climbing out of the Red for the first time in a
decade, or shoo them off and 'shatter' the image of a
Fluffy-Friendly Theme Park ....
>Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck!
>Wait ... idea!
>"Get me those two deviants in the Fur-Suit. And that Stoner and
his best Fluffy Ponies!" You grunt back, waving to the cameras
and the cheering, picture-taking morons with their over-fed and
spoiled Fluffy Ponies clutched in their arms or in padded
carry-cages.
>"You don't have to understand, you two fuckwits, just get out
there and stop this debacle! And You! Get your best singing
Fluffy Pony ready and equipped with a microphone, now!" The
Mayor grunted at you, turning a dangerously livid shade of
purple as his cigar smouldered between his fat lips.
>Trainer mutters about 'harshing his vibe' but runs off to get
his Fluffy Pony ready.
>Look to your partner and shrug.
>Get into the Fur-Suit, Uni the Unicorn, and shuffle out to the
Fluffy Ponies.
>Pet Fluffy Ponies see you and cheer "Uuuuh-Ne! Uuuuh-Ne!
Uuuuh-Ne!"
>Ferals see you and go utterly silent, their jaws collectively
dropping.
>"Hewwo! Hewwo! So many New Fwiends!" You say in 'Poniese',
trying not to snort as your parter makes pretend fart noises.
Stop it, you bastard!
>"Big Fwiend! Yuu so Big, how yuu do?" A Smarty Friend shouts,
looking at you with a look you can't quite ....
>Oh hell, he's got an errection.
>Going to be an interesting day .....
>"Uni is so gwad to see so many New Fwiends! Nice Man, Mistah
May-uh, wiww open Sketti Land soon, buh yuu mus' be Guud
Fwuffies! Be Nice too Hoomins, dey wan pway wit' dere Fwuffies,
an' wit yuu too! Pwenty of Sketti for evwy Fwuffy, buh yuu must
take turns, share Sketti wit' each otha!" You say, you voice
booming over the Herds, carried by the microphone built into the
'head' of the Fur-Suit.
>"We be guud! We wuv yuu, Uni!" The Ferals cheer, gazing at you
with adoration and love in their eyes.
>Well, in the eyes of most of the Mares and Foals.
>The Stallions have faces contorted with outright Lust.
>Just about every Stallion in the Herds has an erection now
.....
>Dear Sweet Jesus....
>Trainer is inside the gate, probably giving the Fluffy Pony
some last minute directions.
>Which it will probably forget the instant it sees the Ferals
and runs over for Hugs.
>This will end well .... still you'll do your job as well as you
can, and let Mayor Ham-Fisting deal with the shit.
>Mayor smiles, lifts a pair of over-sized, gilden scissors, and
snips the ribbon, and the gates swing wide open, to where a
large Fluffy with a bright Pink coat and ribbons in her fluff is
sitting, waving to the Herds.
>"Hewwo Fwiends! I is Candeh! I hewp Uni! Fowwow, Candeh show
yuu where aww Nummies and Bawws are!" She cheers at the Herds,
waving and smiling sweetly.
>Holy Shit .... she didn't run over for Hugs.
>Uh .... what's your line ....
>"Aww Guud Fwuffies fowwow Candy-eh." You stammer, flubbing a
line. "Candeh Guud Fwuffy who show yuu guud tings!"
>Candy turns around and starts to walk towards the Spaghetti
Dispensers, singing and shaking around in what you assume is
Fluffy Pony Dancing.
>"Aaaaaaaaaawwwwww! Sketti Land, Sketti Land, aww fwuffies wuv
Sketti Land!" She is singing as the Herds trot after her,
cheering and giggling. Some every try to sing with her, but
without much luck. "Yuu can sing tuu! Sing tu-geth-aaah!"
>It takes a few tries, but with her singing going out over the
PA system, the Herds start to get some semblance of rythem to
their singing.
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, Fwuffies come an' stay!" Candy
sings sweetly, bobbling and swaying for all she's worth.
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, We haf come to stay!" The Ferals
'sing' lustily in rough approximation of harmony.
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, Fwuffies haf some nummies!"
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, Fwuffies haf guud Nummies!"
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, we aww gonna pway!"
>"Sketti Land, Sketti Land, we wanna pway!"
>Shuffle along with the Herd, shuffling up to stand by Candy and
shuffle forwards with her as the Feral Herds follow obediently
in lockstep behidn you, all singing in their tiny little voices.
>Holy shit, this might just work after all!
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